


DILF

by Nopholom



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - High School, Canonical Child Abuse, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-18 00:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 19
Words: 134,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2328266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nopholom/pseuds/Nopholom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ste was playing a harmless game of "Spot The DILF" with his mates when the most recent subject of his lewd comments turned out to be the father of one of his best friends. Unable to push aside his initial impression of Declan's dad, he gave into the urge of being a horrendous flirt whenever he got the chance, encouraged and excited when Brendan started to flirt back.<br/>[There's some canonical child abuse (Ste's) and it will vary in detail over the space of the fic, so please if an adult physically abusing a teenager with violence only is something triggering for you, leave now.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's come to my attention that CSA survivors have had content like this used to "justify" their abuse (ie "look! It's fine see!?") and want to make a note that this sort of thing is very much NOT ok outside of fictional settings, exploring this kind of content is fine in and of itself, however it IS fiction, and this kind of age gap, an adult's involvement with a minor is not good, healthy, or fine, no matter how "mature" that minor seems, or how much that minor trusts and loves that adult.

Ste couldn’t help but shiver as he blew warm air into his hands, the early January weather wasn’t exactly the best and all he had to protect himself from it was his school blazer, which had seen better days. His best friend Amy clung to his arm, trying to share warmth as they both looked around the car park, they were playing a little game they’d invented called ‘Spot the DILF’, a game which Ste tended to excel at, being more brash and openly lewd than Amy. His eyes lit up when a sleek black Mercedes pulled up near the gates, craning his neck to get a better look at the man he’d glimpsed inside,

“Now _that_ , Ames, is a DILF,” he beamed smugly, untucking his hand from his armpit to point him out, he’d never seen the guy before that was for sure, he’d _definitely_ remember him if he had. He was tall, slender but broad in the shoulders, his leather jacket fit in all the right ways and looked great with the red turtleneck, which Ste was thrilled to see was skin tight, and then there was the moustache, he preferred all or nothing when it came to facial hiar, but this guy’s moustache somehow added to how hot he looked.

“What with the porno tash? Ew, no way Ste,” Amy protested, making a gagging gesture with her mitten clad hand,

“Oh come off it, as if you’d say no to sittin’ on his face,” Ste scoffed, Amy giggling at how crass he was being. He was giving Mr Moustache a high-7, an 8 at a push, but then the sunglasses came off and even from across the car park Ste could see he had eyes like ice; a smile played at his lips and he conceded the man was hitting a high-9 now, guaranteeing him pride of place in his spank bank tonight, or as soon as he got home, however long he could wait to imagine looking over his shoulder at those eyes whilst he got ploughed.

“Ste he looks like a right creep,” Amy laughed, shaking her head when she noticed the perverted look Ste was sporting as he leered at the oblivious subject of his teenage lust, though it was Amy’s elbow nudging him that had Ste realising their friend Declan had finally emerged from the school building and was making his way over.

“Aright Dec!” he called out with a wave, Declan smiling apologetically for the delay and stopping next to Amy, leaning closer when Amy looped her arm through his and proceeded to use them both to warm her up, even though she had the most layers of the three of them.

“So, who’s the poor sap you two’re demeanin’ today then?” he asked as he looked around, offering up the opportunity for them to get him involved in their little game, a sign he was comfortable enough in his sexuality—however ambiguous it seemed to be—to be able to comment on the attractiveness of other men.

“We ain’t demeaning anyone!” Ste protested, earning twin looks of deadpan disbelief from his two best friends, “Shut up. Dec, Declan, mate, picture this: you’re gay, yeah, or at least bi,” he got a nod over that, “You can ‘ave any bloke you want, and then you see him,” Ste points, Declan follows the gesture and Ste can see the corners of his mouth pulling down as he tries not to smile, “Would you go for him?” He held his breath as he waited for Declan to answer, ready to rub his win in Amy’s face, because he knew she’d do the same to him.

“Him? Absolutely not,” Declan answered without missing a beat, shooting Ste down so quickly that Amy was bouncing between them as she chalked this up as a win,

“Told you! He’s creepy!” Amy beamed, Declan snorting at that, but Ste wasn’t done, completely affronted by his friends and their awful taste in men,

“You wot? You gotta be jokin’ right?” he balked, “He’s the most shaggable bloke to come through them gates, he’s king of the DILFs, the Big Kahuna, the OG, hell he’s my _Big Boss_ ,” his adamant tone faded to a dreamy sigh as he watched the man stare blankly at a woman who seemed to be talking to him, watching fingers touch moustache and then wipe at his lower lip absently, Ste’s gaze tracked lower, appreciating the way the man leant on his car with a hip. “God look at that arse, god made us with eyes so we could one day witness an arse like that,” he added, he wasn’t even talking to them anymore, he was just mumbling to his horny little self and imagining those hands coaxing bruises onto his hips.

“Fair enough Ste,” Declan laughed, drawing Ste reluctantly from his daydream, “but he’s my da,” he added, and Ste did a double-take between Declan and the guy, he couldn’t see it, aside from maybe the eyes; he was struggling though, he didn’t know if he should feel embarrassed or not, because deep down he wanted to keep leering at Declan’s _dad_. “But yanno, I’ll tell him you like his arse if you want, maybe he’ll call you in a couple a years aye?” Declan laughed it off, and Ste opted for the embarrassment and buried his face in his hands.

Declan’s parents were divorced and he had only recently reached out to his dad after moving to Chester, so Ste and Amy had yet to meet him, but he and Declan had spent a lot of time together already, and this was the first actual custody-based time he would be spending the weekend with his dad, having finally talked his mum around to it being a ‘regular thing’. He’d told Ste and Amy a lot about him though, mostly about how he was pretty clueless on how to be a father to a teenager, and had settled for buying Declan’s affections even though Declan was already chuffed to bits with his extra parent.

 

Amy squeezed Ste’s arm again, whispering his name and nodding over at where Declan’s dad was, the man was looking over at them now and Ste felt his cheeks burn red, averting his gaze quickly,

“Aw shit, he’s looking at us…” he cringed, curling in on himself as best as he could, stuffing his hands into his pockets and keeping his eyes trained on the ground.

“Course he’s lookin’ at us, he’s come to pick us up from school you eejit,” Declan chuckled, lifting his hand in the air to signal his dad over, Ste hazarded a glance as he approached, regretting it immediately when he noticed the definite swagger of a man so confident his gait had him walking dick first, an observation that had Ste shifting uncomfortably and staring at the floor again.

“Alright lads,” the low, rough Irish drawl had Ste sucking in a chilly breath through his nose, “Miss,” was added with a nod in Amy’s direction, Amy was grinning ear to ear when Ste looked at her, revelling in the palpable awkwardness Declan’s dad had unwittingly walked into, Ste wanted to bring up the fact that Amy had called Declan’s dad a creep, make _her_ feel awkward too, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“Alright da, these are my mates,” Declan started, going to introduce the pair he was forming a chain with, but his dad spoke first,

“The lovely Amy, right?” he offered a hand and Amy untucked her arm from Ste’s in order to shake his hand, nodding at him, “Brendan Brady,” he introduced as their hands parted, turning to Ste and offering the hand to him as well, but Ste had closed himself off, determined not to speak because all the comments in his head were inappropriate and would probably get him a smack. Brendan dropped his hand after a beat and looked Ste up and down, “And this lanky streak of piss must be Steven,” he said with a smile,

“You wot?” Ste grunted, “she gets ‘lovely’ an’ I’m… what? What’d you call me?” Ste balked, his crush dithering at the offense,

“I didn’t mean to offend there Steven, just sayin’ you’re tall,” Brendan’s tone was a mixture of patronising and apologetic, which was a feat in itself, and Ste bristled,

“It’s _Ste_ ,” he corrected, knowing he probably shouldn’t have felt offended there, but he’d not heard the turn of phrase before.

“Right… well I’m givin’ you’s a lift, aren’t I?” he asked, “Let’s get off, it’s fuckin’ freezin’,” Brendan huffed, rubbing his hands together to emphasise his point, Ste untangled Amy from his arm and picked his backpack up off of the floor, slinging it over a shoulder and waiting,

“Thanks for this da, you’re ace,” Declan grinned, keeping his arm through Amy’s and leading her to the car,

“Yeah thank you Mr Brady,” Amy called over her shoulder, the two leaving Ste and Brendan stood behind,

“Ta…” Ste shrugged, before trailing after them, not missing the way Brendan rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Deccy, your mate here might want to ride shotgun,” Brendan called out as Declan pulled the car door open, “leg room,” he added, gesturing dismissively at Ste, who took that as a sign to stand awkwardly to the side and wait. Declan agreed and folded the seat forwards and let Amy climb into the back, following after her and pulling the red leather seat back into place, “Thank god it’s January…” Brendan grumbled, Ste giving him a confused look, “He’s made a habit of jumpin’ in when the top is down… my interior don’t appreciate it…” he explained,

“Ah right, nappa leather that is,” he said as he sank into the passenger seat, closing the door with some care and watching Brendan’s ass as he rounded the car to get in,

“You know cars?” Brendan asked as he looked behind him to pull out of the space,

“Little bit… used to nick ‘em,” Ste admitted casually before realising that probably wasn’t something he should be telling a mate’s parents, especially when that parent had a nice car.

“Well I know who to call if I can’t find my keys,” Brendan noted dryly, Ste letting out an uncomfortable laugh before falling silent, not sure if he meant to hotwire the car or that Ste would nick it, Declan and Amy were whispering to one another in the back seat but it didn’t last, an odd awkwardness overcoming the car as Ste scowled at his reflection in the wing mirror, mentally berating himself for saying that.

 

The awkwardness dragged on and Ste tried to think of something to say, coming up short and letting out a sigh instead, which seemed to prompt Brendan into trying to break the weird air,

“I haven’t been in a car ride this awkward since I came out to yer mam…” he stated, Ste finally tearing his attention from his own miserable reflection to look over at Brendan, _came out_ , he wanted to smack himself in the face over the little flutter he felt at those words, Brendan was _gay_ , Declan had _told_ him that before, it was one of the first conversations they’d ever _had_. Declan had transferred to their school from Ireland shortly after the initial fallout of Ste’s accidental coming out, he’d gotten onto the football team and—when Ste had been accused of perving on the other lads in the locker room—had stood up for him and given the ringleader, the now- _former_ captain of their school football team, a good smack upside the head for it, almost getting suspended during his first week of school.

“You told her in the car?” Declan’s voice permeated Ste’s haze of… what… what was it? Hope? It was stupid of him to feel like he somehow had a chance with _Declan’s dad_ just because the man happened to be gay.

“Yeah, when we were bringin’ Padraig home from the hospital…” Brendan’s voice was pinched, and Ste figured it must’ve been an uncomfortable memory, looking at Brendan’s face to see he was right,

“What was wrong with ‘im?” Ste asked offhandedly, he’d not met Padraig, but he knew he was Declan’s little brother, so that led to him wondering if he had that balance issue that sometimes caught Declan off guard too.

“He was born,” came Brendan’s immediate reply, it was obvious he hadn’t really thought before saying that, or after, because it took Declan’s words to make him realise what he’d said,

“Little bit harsh da,”

“Shit, I didn’t mean it like _that!_ ” he protested, “He was born at a hospital! That’s _normal_!” he exclaimed, earning a round of laughter from the teenagers in the car, even Ste was cracking up with a low giggle, “Well it _is_ …” Brendan grumbled,

“That must’ve been really difficult,” Amy piped up from the back of the car, all sympathy and that weird adoration some straight people had over coming out stories, Ste had to roll his eyes at it, and Brendan clearly wasn’t about to carry on about it, laughing, a low guttural noise that sent an involuntary shiver through Ste,

“Let’s not, shall we kids,” there was a growl to his voice and Ste couldn’t help but stare at him. He knew what he was doing, he knew his expression was the picture of flirty, bottom lip trapped by his teeth as he looked over at Brendan sidelong, but apparently Declan knew what he was doing too, because his foot was pressed firmly to the seat at Ste’s back, trying to get his attention subtly but without actually kicking the chair. Ste schooled his expression, fortunately Brendan hadn’t noticed him doing it, but a part of him sort of wished he had, wondering what he’d have said or done if Ste had made it obvious he thought he was fucking hot. The downside was Brendan’s distraction came complete with a look of disgust as he pulled into the estate Ste had said he lived on; he was used to that reaction, his neighbourhood was awful, run down and full of yobbos and chavs, he’d started sharing outside disgust too when he’d stopped hanging out with the neighbourhood kids, scared they’d find out he was gay.

He waited for Brendan to slow the car to a stop, glad he’d opted to avoid the gang of lads watching from the park, before unbuckling his belt and turning to lean into the back of the car, he could feel Brendan’s eyes on him as he gave Amy a quick kiss on the mouth, catching a glimpse of the man’s raised eyebrow as he pulled away.

“Bye Ste,” Amy smiled warmly, Ste beamed back and offered a fist to Declan, who bumped it with a quick ‘see ya mate’,

“Yous gettin’ on COD later?” he asked the pair of them,

“Deffo mate,” Declan grinned,

“I don’t know, I’ll try,” Amy shrugged, she’d admitted she only played it to hang out with them online, but she’d kicked both their asses a fair few times in free-for-alls, but they tended to team up together most nights and fight twelve year olds.

“Well if not I’ll see yous on Monday at school,” Ste drummed his fingers on the shoulder of Brendan’s seat as he looked at the older man, posture flirtatious, he didn’t _mean_ to look at him that way, even if he _was_ renowned for hitting on his male teachers, he did that more for fun rather than because he was attracted to them. “Thanks f’ the lift Mr Brady,” he smiled coyly as he spoke, Brendan leaning a fraction closer to him and smiling,

“You’re welcome Steven,” Brendan’s voice had a huskiness to it that had Ste grinning the moment he got out of the car and jogged to his front door.

He’d not even unlocked it before his phone buzzed with a text from Amy, _‘omg u slag King DYLF is buzzin n D is so :S –A xx’_ hecouldn’t help but laugh, beginning to thumb in a text as he opened the door and stepped inside, not noticing as his step dad emerged from the front room. He bumped into him, an innocent mistake that had Ste rammed against the coat hooks, a look of terror on his face,

“Oi you, watch where you’re goin’ you ignorant little shit,” Terry snapped, Ste could feel the hooks sticking into his back and knew they’d bruise. He wanted to stand up for himself, give Terry a smack or talk back or _something_ , but all he could manage was a weak ‘sorry’, shaking long after Terry gave him a solid thump to the stomach and told him to fuck off, running upstairs as quickly as possible, pulling the battered old armchair in front of the door and curling up on the worn fabric.

 

The tears began to fall and his breathing was shaky and interrupted by sniffling, every quiet sob spreading pain through his stomach like he was being hit again and again; he hated how weak he felt, even though this was nothing, he’d been given worse for less, he got off lightly, but it didn’t stop the shame he felt at curling up and crying about it. He lifted his shirt and touched his fingers to the skin where colour blossomed into a fresh bruise, overlaying the faded yellow of older injuries, he hated who he was when the doors closed, who he was forced to be. He pushed his shirt down to hide the bruising, wiping his face on his sleeve and looking miserably at his bedroom, at the fake persona he put on whenever he stepped over the threshold, whenever he was forbidden from being himself.

It looked like any other teenage lad’s room, a Man City poster on one wall and a slew of page 3 girls on the other, a game poster featuring his first and biggest male crush—Big Boss—it was the only crack in his façade and it wasn’t exactly obvious. He wished he could be himself, but he’d seen Terry’s reaction to queers on the TV, heard the slurs, been the target of half of them, Terry’s way of trying to get him to ‘man the fuck up and stop being a little shite’, if Terry ever found out Ste was gay, he didn’t think he’d be able to pull through from _that_ particular beating.

He was only upsetting himself more, sinking further into the uncomfortable arm chair and burying his face in his hands, sobbing and cowering until his phone gave a weary buzz from his pocket, he kept one hand over his mouth as he pulled the knackered old smart phone out, a hand-me-down from Amy, and swiped it unlocked, his expression was morose as he read Declan’s text, but the words drew a pained grin from him. _‘”Thought u sed ur boy Steven neva shut up, he ok?” ur bf is worried m8 wen shud I start callin u daddy???? Prick –D x’_ , Ste chewed on the cuff of his blazer as he thumbed back a quick _‘Ew neva hes gippin aint he? Jus like u u dick ed –S x’_ wincing when he laughed at Declan’s response a moment later _‘liar –D x’_.

He ended up texting back and forth with Declan, the Irish lad cheering him up without really knowing he was doing it, eventually reminding Ste to message Amy because she’d texted him worrying that Ste hadn’t answered her. Instead of texting Amy, he suggested getting online for some COD, headsets on and teams made, thankful for Declan for loaning him his old xbox after Brendan had got him a newer model for Christmas, and to his neighbour who’d given him her wifi password when he’d played the ‘poor kid can’t get online to do his homework’ card.

 

“I can’t believe you think my da is hot, that’s weird,” Declan’s voice was tinny in Ste’s left ear, the headset wasn’t the best, not like the one the Irish lad used, “I mean, I don’t _mind_ , at least I know it’ll never happen… but _da_? _Hot_? That’s so weird…” he trailed off, he’d been going on about Ste’s comments about his dad for long enough that they’d had to opt out of random matches because Ste was getting verbal abuse and Amy was getting upset about it,

“Amy thinks he’s creepy,” Ste deflected,

“I do not!” Amy protested, letting out a sharp ‘what?!’ when she died, the corner of the screen indicating that ScallySte had knifed SkullnXBarnes, “Ste!”

“Wot,” Ste whistled innocently,

“You can’t blame him Ames,” Declan chuckled, “It’s one of the only gaming perks to being full homo, mad knifing skills in gun games,”

“An’ you absolutely do Ames you said so,” Ste was trying to keep the topic off of his attraction to his best mate’s dad, even if he wasn’t doing a very good job of it,

“It’s true, you did,” Declan agreed, “Which honestly, I get more than I get the whole ‘hot’ thing, I mean, _the moustache_ ,”

“It’s not a good look,” Amy laughed,

“He told me it’s a Brady tradition, so I’m gonna pretend I can’t grow facial hair,” Declan lied,

“Oh you poor thing,” Amy chuckled, laughing harder when Declan let out a dismayed ‘STE!’ and the knife symbol showed up on the kill feed,

“I like the moustache…” Ste muttered, knifing Declan again mere seconds after he spawned,

“That makes you an’ half the gay population of Chester apparently,” Declan grumbled, managing to shoot Ste down before he got close enough to stab, “Pack it in mate,”

“What do you mean?” Ste asked, soon sticking his tongue out as he concentrated on the boxy little TV he was using,

“Huh?” Declan grunted, “The knifing, quit it,” he elaborated,

“No the gay people thing,” Ste corrected,

“Ohhhh” Amy let out, “You jealous Ste?” she cooed,

“Shurrup Amy,” Ste grumped, he _was_ a little jealous,

“Oh mate it’s so weird,” Declan stopped to swear when he was sniped by Amy, “Fuck! What was the point in that? This map is tiny!” he huffed before continuing, “few weeks ago, I bump into this fella when I’m gettin’ up for a slash, he’s leavin’, _obviously_ , never seen ‘im before, ain’t seen him since,” he explained, pausing occasionally to concentrate on a kill, “bumped into another one last week, same thing, probably won’t see ‘im again, da ain’t much for keepin’ em around, that’s for sure,”

“Or for keeping his indiscretions away from his teenage son apparently,” Amy muttered,

“What? It’s not like I can hear him doin’ it, besides, mam’s got a fella,”

“A husband,” Amy corrected,

“Does my da have to marry every bloke he wants to fuck?” Declan asked, “mam’s got a fella, an’ we all know what a ‘quiet night in’ means when that night in doesn’t come downstairs,” Ste could hear the shudder in Declan’s voice and laughed, though he was distracted by the apparent myriad of blokes Brendan went through, he didn’t know if _he’d_ like being a one night stand, not sure if he’d care enough to turn Brendan down if he got the opportunity though.

He let out a huffy sigh and ran out from his recent spawn, spotting the soldier inexplicably named _GamerGrrrl97_ and giving them a good shank from behind,

“Oi Ste quit bein’ a bitch alright, use your gun!” Declan whined as he watched his untimely demise repeat as he waited to respawn,

“ _Declan_ ,”came Amy’s warning about the insult,

“Sorry…” Declan grumbled, Ste could hear the growls that meant he was supressing a litany of slur-filled abuse—influenced by years of playing online—every time Ste ran out of nowhere and managed another knife kill.

He probably shouldn’t have opted for knife kills when playing a free for all with his mates, it was funnier online with the twelve year olds, even if Amy got upset about all the f-bombs being dropped by children, but tonight he was just in one of those moods, he didn’t win by a long shot, but he _did_ unintentionally kill Declan more than he killed Amy.

“Damn it Ste! That is so fuckin’ cheap!” Declan exclaimed, voice cracking as he continued to throw insults at his best friend, “Get a new trick you asshole!” he cried out, and the timer began to tick through the last few seconds of their match, so Ste shot him, the last kill of the match repeating over and over behind their scores. “Oh feck off...”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the amazing comments, you guys are killing me. Hope this doesn't disappoint!

Things only really got worse from there, both at home and with the rampant teasing from his friends; he blamed himself, of course he did, he back chatted Terry, told his mum to get fucked a little too loudly and upset her, so he got a battering and two days off school with ‘the shits’ according to the phone call Terry made to the school. The teasing was his fault too, the next time he’d seen Brendan, he’d grown coy, thrown a bitten lip onto every ‘Mr Brady’ and playfully repeated Brendan’s name to him whenever he’d said ‘please, just call me Brendan’. He couldn’t help himself though, Declan had okayed it, he had free reign, he had permission to flirt with his ultimate DILF, and what made it even better was _Brendan flirted right back_.

Brendan was shameless in his flirting and disgustingly charming to boot, he knew how to get under Ste’s skin after just over a month and seemed to light up at the chance to share some playful banter with him, which Ste loved, the two almost forgetting there was usually an audience in the back seat. Sometimes though, Ste was sure Brendan was itching to touch him, fingers twitching on the steering wheel as he looked over at him, exhaling the way Ste tended to when he was trying to get a grip and control himself. It all made his heart flutter in a ridiculous manner, just because someone as hot as Brendan was not only giving him the time of day, but _flirting_ with him, _desiring_ him, it made him wish it was Friday every day, so he could sit in the passenger seat trying to figure out how to make Brendan shift in his seat the way Ste had to whenever Brendan chuckled his name, he’d stopped correcting Brendan about the ‘Steven’ thing, he’d grown to like it, fantasising about it being whispered hot against his ear.

He let out a miserable sigh, it was Wednesday and he longed for the weekend, or at least the evening _before_ the weekend, and what was worse, he was running late for football practice, _again_ , he’d tried texting Declan to get him to stall but hadn’t heard back. It had happened last week too, his English teacher had kept him behind to talk to him and give him a stupid letter to take home to his parents; the last one never reached them and this one was currently crumpled in his hand as he stomped around trying to get through the labyrinth his school became after 3:45, when half the gates were locked. He’d ended up going through the car park on his way to the sports hall, checking his phone when it buzzed, reading the text and groaning at the verbal lashing he was going to get, _‘Soz mate. hoped Hutcho mite not hav tht stick up arse 4 1nce bt he went off on 1 wen Lee tried 2 keep his jackt on. stix well n truly up there. ur fucked :c –D x’,_ cussing when he noticed the time and just how late his endless wandering had gotten him. He was about to run when a voice called to him from behind,

“Steven! Wait up a minute would ye!” Ste went to stop mid step and tripped on an uneven slab, a hand finding his wrist and saving him from his impromptu make out session with solid concrete. Instead his arm was pulled almost painfully and he ended up against someone’s chest with his legs barely under himself; his nose was pressed against a hard chest and soft fabric, and he didn’t really know how to disentangle himself from his saviour.

“Uhm…” he croaked, he felt a bit weird, he’d practically _just_ been thinking about Brendan, and now here he was with an (admittedly) uncomfortable face full of him, the man’s strikingly elegant crucifix digging a furrow into Ste’s cheek; he was also clinging helplessly to the poor bloke, arms wrapped around Brendan’s middle because he knew he’d end up on the floor if he let go too soon.

“You alright there Steven?” Brendan asked, looking down at him, amusement in his eyes,

“Yeah…” he let out slowly, sagging in defeat,

“Let’s get you on your own feet then,” Brendan chuckled, chest vibrating against Ste’s face, he couldn’t help the quick, deep inhale before he steadied himself and pulled his face away from Brendan’s chest, letting the smell of the other man sink in whilst the crucifix unstuck itself from his cheek. He rubbed at his cheek after, fingers tracing the lingering dimple the cross had made on his skin, barely taking it in, his attention leaning closer to where Brendan’s fingers were curled loosely around his wrist. “Is that okay?” Brendan asked quietly, reaching his other hand to brush his thumb over the indent, and suddenly Ste couldn’t breathe, staring wide eyed at Brendan as his thumb traced his cheek, Brendan’s fingers supporting the angle of his jaw with a gentle pressure.

“Yeah…” Ste finally let out, barely audible as he tried to resist the temptation to close the gap between them, what he did instead was lean into Brendan’s palm, eyes closing for the briefest of moments, regretting it when Brendan’s fingers slid from his skin, blinking in time to see Brendan shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Steven…” he sighed, something in his tone keeping Ste quietly waiting for him to continue, “have you seen Declan?” he asked, Ste didn’t think that was what he’d wanted to say initially, the older man not quite making eye contact any more, instead tilting his head in a way that seemed defiant somehow, making Ste shift nervously from foot to foot, uncomfortable with the change in Brendan.

“He’s at football practice, which is where I’m supposed t’be,” Ste grumbled, he should have left then, escaped the awkwardness and forget about the cold way Brendan had looked at him, but there was something about Brendan being there that was bothering him, “Wait… What do you want ‘im for? Is somethin’ wrong?”

“No, I… didn’t know he had practice, I came to pick him up…” Brendan shrugged, the gesture had his posture changing to something less tense, less like a coiled snake ready to strike, which Ste was relieved to see, no longer apprehensive about asking Brendan questions,

“Doesn’t he stay with his mam on week days?” Ste pressed,

“Yeah, but his mam’s taken his brother out of town for some musical theatre thing,” he slid a hand from his pocket as he spoke, brushing his fingers absently over the line of his moustache, Ste watching on, transfixed, “So Deccy’s stuck with me til Monday,” he added,

“Ah right… well practice don’t end til like… five…” Ste explained, “Shit, I’m _so_ late!” he balked, turning on his heel and darting away from Brendan,

“Steven!”

“It’s on the field past the sports hall!” he called back over his shoulder, hand securely on his bag strap as he broke into a run.

 

He was tracing his fingers over his cheek as he stood half-naked in the locker room, all hasty panic gone as his mind dwelled on the tender touch of Brendan’s fingers on his skin, that look of care mixed with that familiar spark of something darker that got Ste excited every time without fail. He was so lost in his own little world, his other hand tucked into his boxers and fisting his cock absentmindedly, that he didn’t know he wasn’t alone until the door to the locker room let out a resounding click,

“Steven you dropped… this…” he turned with wide eyes to see Brendan there, a letter held loose between his fingers, he watched as Brendan’s eyes looked him over in his entirety, taking in the scene before him with an oddly blank expression. Ste was in shock, he didn’t know what to do, well he knew he should at least get his hand out of his pants, but he couldn’t convince himself to move, terrified and aroused by being caught by the object of his affections, “Looked important…” Brendan hummed, looking down at the letter in his hands, turning it over a few times as he crossed the open space between them, stopping just short of Ste.

Ste wanted to say something, but he didn’t have the air for it, looking up at Brendan, terrified to even breathe on him in case it came out wrong and sent him back into that weird state of defensiveness; he went to slide his hand from inside his boxers, stopping when he felt paper tapping his exposed wrist, watching as Brendan shook his head and hummed a quiet “nuh-uh”, the man not taking his eyes off of Ste’s covered hand even when he leant to place the letter on top of Ste’s folded trousers on the bench.

“Brendan…” he whispered, the first time he’d used his name unprompted was silenced by Brendan pressing a finger to his lips,

“Shhh,” Brendan had inched closer and the way he shifted his head to shush Ste had their noses bumping together lightly, the finger dragging his bottom lip down as Brendan moved his hand, tracing Ste’s throat, then his chest, lingering briefly on a cluster of ugly bruises on his stomach—he didn’t ask, thankfully—his fingers finally stopping the slow journey when Ste’s wrist interrupted his path.

All Ste could hear was his own heartbeat and his shaky breathing, he could hardly believe this was happening, half expected Brendan to come to his senses and run for the hills, but instead his hand flattened on Ste’s stomach, pushed between it and his wrist to travel further down and muscle in on Ste’s current desperate claim. He let go the moment Brendan’s fingers curled around the base of his prick, his own fingers ghosting up the back of Brendan’s hand, he wasn’t sure if he should guide Brendan’s hand or leave him to it… or touch Brendan back. He sucked in a sharp breath as Brendan gave him a squeeze, all thoughts wiped out as the foreign hand on his cock drew upwards, he grabbed Brendan’s shoulder to support himself, keeping his slightly stickier hand on Brendan’s wrist, terrified to let go in case he stopped.

Brendan’s fingers were practiced and felt so different to Ste’s own, and as he pumped him, twisting and squeezing just right, occasionally palming the head of his cock, Ste couldn’t stop himself from sagging uselessly against the older man—now a confirmed solid being and not a figment of Ste’s imagination—his hips pushing slowly against Brendan’s hand. He wanted to touch Brendan, to tackle his belt and return the favour, but when he pried his hand from Brendan’s wrist and reached for the buckle, Brendan’s other hand stopped him,

“But…” he started, cut off by a moan as Brendan thumbed his slit,

“This is about _you_ …” Brendan’s breath was ragged as he mouthed against the short hair and soft skin behind Ste’s ear. Ste slid his hand up Brendan’s shoulder, hooking his arm there instead and holding the back of Brendan’s neck, pulling them closer together as his hips began to stagger and he gave into being the horny teenager he was, rocking on the balls of his feet and panting into Brendan’s leather jacket, Brendan’s hand moving quicker now.

“Bren please…” he moaned, it was as much warning as he could give before pressing his face into Brendan’s shoulder to supress his embarrassing cry of release, feeling his legs weaken as he creamed Brendan’s hand, rendering his boxers unwearable and this whole… whatever it was… over.

 

He took a while to recover as Brendan’s hand released him and withdrew from his boxers, the teen dropping to sit on the bench as soon as he was able, looking up at Brendan slack jawed and in some orgasm-fuelled teenage love, watching as Brendan looked at his slick fingers, gaze flicking to Ste’s eyes as he slid one into his mouth and sucked it clean. It melted Ste’s brain and his cock gave a half-hearted twitch at the sight, he didn’t really know how to react to that, their eyes locked as Brendan cleaned his fingers casually as fuck, like it was nothing that he was lapping up a teenage boy’s cum and making bedroom eyes at the source.

“You should clean yourself up Steven… get yourself to practice…” Brendan turned and walked to the end of the room that housed toilet cubicles, washing the remaining evidence from his hands whilst remaining oddly neutral.

“Uh… yeah…” Ste agreed, looking down at the wet stain his crotch had become,

“I’ll smooth things over with your coach…” he added, drumming now clean, dry fingers on the plastic cover that held the hand towels before returning to where Ste sat, “see you out there _Steven_ ,” he smiled as he bent so his face was inches from Ste’s, eyes flicking from Ste’s own and down before he closed the gap for a split second kiss, standing and leaving Ste sat marvelling over the confusing event that was both his first hand-job and his first male kiss, too preoccupied to notice that Brendan had to unlock the door before he could leave.

He cleaned himself up and dressed in a hurry, not exactly comfortable with the fact that he had to go commando under his football kit, but he didn’t have much of a choice, stuffing his soiled boxers to the bottom of his backpack, along with the letter Brendan had returned to him. He tried to compose himself as he stuffed his bag into a locker and clipped the key to his watch, struggling to supress an excited shiver as he thought about what had just happened, wondering if it would happen again.

“Damn it Ste,” he berated, “Get on the pitch, play the game, forget about it, not the time,” he gritted out, shaking his limbs out before jogging out of the locker room and through a deliberate opening in the wire fencing that led to the field. He saw Brendan with Coach Hutchinson and ran over, “Coach I…” he began, but Hutchinson lifted his hands,

“It’s fine Ste, Mr Brady already told me, now get warmed up and get out there,” he smiled dismissively, Ste was surprised, unsure what Brendan could have said that would have made Hutchinson _not_ angry about his tardiness. He obeyed though, running laps around the field as the other lads set up for drills, eventually joining in and having a laugh with the rest of the team.

 

“Yer dad’s here,” Ste said as the drill rotated and he was paired with Declan for the first time in about half an hour, the two passing the ball to each other, though Ste had been a bit distracted and had kicked it hard enough for Declan to have to catch it instead of stopping it with his foot,

“I noticed,” Declan drawled, “Now I know I’m a goalie, but try a _pass_ this time,” he kicked the ball back and Ste made a show of passing it properly, giving Declan a deadpan look in response to his sarcasm.

“I didn’t know you was stayin’ with him this week,” he added, he should have avoided the subject, because talking about Brendan had him _thinking_ about Brendan, particularly the man’s skilled hands on him.

“Yeah, Paddy’s goin’ to see The Lion King and do some workshops I think,” Declan shrugged, kicking the ball up and playing keepie-uppie with it for a few seconds before he passed it back to Ste,

“I ain’t met your brother,” Ste noted absently; he’d been to Declan’s mum’s house once, it was expensive and top end, which made him nervous, plus Declan’s mum didn’t like him much, jaded by her ex-husband’s sexuality to the point that he’d overheard her ‘worrying’ to Declan about how Ste might try to take advantage, being ‘that sort’ and decided against visiting again.

“He doesn’t go to school here,” Declan shrugged, “the music program ain’t good enough for him,” he added as an explanation, Ste nodded then, looking around before giving their ball a good boot at one of their teammates and shouting ‘LEE THINK FAST!’ as the other teen yelped and ducked out of the way.

They all grew pretty bored of the drills, their coach was too busy chatting to Brendan to instruct the lads on things they already knew, so Declan and Ste orchestrated a friendly kick about with them as team captains, balancing their teams out as best they could.

“Shirts and Skins?” Ste suggested with a wink, the responses varied between slightly homophobic, to some serious flexing from Ste’s now shirtless team, the homophobia was mild, most of the venom lost when Declan had socked Joel before Christmas. He ended up regretting the suggestion when he realised it was _his_ team who’d gone shirtless, sucking in a nervous breath before peeling his light blue shirt off, jogging over to the seats at the side lines and dropping it on a bench, not quite making eye contact with Brendan as he stood a few feet away, bruises on display. He returned to his team, beckoning them in and distracting from his bodily shame with a big-game style pep talk, he loved doing these, he always felt like he was in a sports movie and was talking up the underdogs to get their big win, even though their school team usually came out on top. And even though this was a split-team friendly during practice, Ste wasn’t going to hold back, especially not with Brendan watching, but he didn’t cite that as his reason when he told the lads, “alright guys, let’s kick some arse yeah,” he concluded, patting the two lads nearest him on the back, the team cheered and then began flicking rude gestures at Declan’s team.

 

The game kicked off and Ste’s team was already disadvantaged by Declan rooting himself into the goal and donning his gloves, but it didn’t deter Ste at all, he was a damned good defender and wouldn’t let opposing attacks get through without one hell of a fight. They established pretty quickly that because this was a friendly 6v6, positions could be switched up, anyone could go anywhere, but goalies should stay in goal, Ste preferred defending, but if he was given an opportunity to get the ball in the back of the net he wasn’t about to squander it.

Despite their differences, Ste had picked Joel for his team, he was a good player even if he _had_ been a total prick, he’d apologised twice for the time he shoved Ste arse over tit through the benches in the locker room, admittedly the first time had been because Declan had him in a headlock, but since then he’d admitted he was wrong and asked Ste if they could try to put it behind them, promising to change. He’d not made a homophobic comment since, and had even one time cornered Ste after practice to ask if he was okay, _“I saw your bruises, I know you don’t wanna talk about it, I just wanted to know you’re okay,”_ which had seemed odd and out of nowhere until Ste saw the way Joel wasn’t _quite_ looking at him and things slotted into place. Their silently shared domestic nightmares gave them an odd sort of camaraderie after that, which had the two of them working together to set up some amazing attempts at the goal both in practice and in proper matches.

It came into play here, whether it was Ste passing for Joel to try get past Declan and his defenders, or the two of them setting the ball into play for another team member to have a go; it was all about fun here, winning would be great, but they wanted everyone to have possession and a chance at trying for a goal, so they kept everyone involved and encouraged those who needed it, even if they were on the other team (though they threw in a ‘you dickhead!’ after for good measure).

 

All in all the short game went well, but as the end neared, both teams had 2 goals, so spurred by a desire to show off and win it for his little rabble, Ste tackled the ball from Noah and was across the half-pitch they were using quick like a shot, booting it full pelt at the goal, Declan missing the save by a hair’s breadth and collapsing into an angry heap on the ground, cussing up a storm as Coach Hutchinson called an end to their practice.

“Alright lads! Let’s see some hustle, get everything together, get your shirts on, get changed and meet me back out here,” he ordered, gesturing as he spoke, Ste was grinning like an idiot, seeing a look of quiet approval on Brendan’s face when he looked over. He pulled on his shirt, the fabric sticking to his sweaty skin as he trailed after the rest of the team, looking over to see Brendan and Hutchinson talking, though the two adults seemed to stop when they noticed Ste looking over. He frowned and picked up the pace, heading into the locker room and finding a corner to get changed in once he’d retrieved his bag, Declan approached him as he dumped his bag on the bench, nudging him with an elbow,

“Wot?” Ste grunted, shoving his shorts down and getting embarrassed when he realised he was naked from the waist down,

“Christ Ste where’s your pants?” Declan balked, “You feckin’ pervert,” he added,

“I ain’t a perv, there’s nowt wrong with airin’ out your tackle,” Ste defended, owning the situation but pulling on his school trousers as quickly as possible, zipping them up carefully.

“Whatever mate,” Declan gave a faux shudder, grinning, “Da’s offered you a lift home by the way,” he added, showing Ste his phone, this had apparently been what he’d come over for in the first place,

“I think I’ll pass…” he mumbled, he wasn’t sure if he should spend more time with Brendan so soon after what had happened, didn’t know how he’d be able to hold his tongue or not get hard just being around him with that memory running through his head.

“Feck off, you’re comin’ with us,” he insisted, not about to take no for an answer; Ste didn’t know what to do, he _really_ didn’t want to rush home to his parents, not with that letter from his English teacher burning a hole in the bottom of his backpack, and getting a lift would mean facing them sooner and trying to find a way to dispose of the letter without them finding out.

“I’m not sure…” he grimaced, but Declan got between him and the bench,

“Mate, please, it’s already dark, you shouldn’t be out on yer own, not a pretty lad like you,” he was taking the piss, but his concern was evident and he glanced down at Ste’s covered stomach as he spoke,

“Fine…” he sighed, opting to leave his football shirt on, stuffing the rest of his things into his bag before slinging it over his shoulder and stalking from the locker room.

He waited outside with the others, Declan was one of the last to trail out, standing shoulder to shoulder with Ste and casting concerned looks his way every so often as Coach Hutchinson prattled on about the upcoming season. Ste didn’t like being looked at like that, hated it in fact, it was a look he used to get from Amy when they were dating, before he realised he was gay and came out of the closet, when Amy frequently saw his bruises up close and personal. He knew the questions would come when Declan got him alone, he was already fabricating answers, trying to make them sound convincing in his head, hopeful Declan would trust his word or at least give him a break and just drop the matter.

He’d zoned out at some point, staring quietly at the ground and not wholly aware that the Coach had stopped talking and people were filtering off from the group,

“Ste…” Declan interrupted his vague daze and Ste looked up in confusion, humming that he was paying attention, “Is everythin’ okay?” he asked, it was a general question and Ste took that as a good out,

“I got an Ungraded in my English mocks,” he blurted, it wasn’t a lie, he _did_ , which was why he went with it,

“Jesus,” Declan exhaled, “mate that sucks, we should study together or somethin’, you, me an Ames, we can all go to me mam’s,” he suggested,

“I dunno…” Ste shrugged, not really wanting to be around Declan’s mum, she was nice enough to his face but he knew it was a front, that she was polite for her own image rather than because she liked him.

“Or my da’s, maybe we can convince him to show you his guns as a reward or somethin’,” Declan joked, Ste frowned at him,

“Guns?” he’d thought Declan meant actual firearms, at least until the teen began some exaggerated flexing at him, getting embarrassed when his dad sauntered over.

“Are you two done dickin’ about?” he asked, Ste kept his eyes downcast, but he could feel Brendan looking at him and it made his skin prickle with heat,

“Yeah, let’s go!” Declan beamed, grabbing Ste’s wrist and dragging him off towards the car park, Ste glancing over his shoulder to see Brendan trailing along behind them, hands in his pockets and apparently not in as much of a rush as he’d led them to believe, though Ste couldn’t help the smile that forced its way onto his face when he noticed Brendan was watching his backside.

 

Usually, Ste loved riding shotgun in Brendan’s car, stretching out and getting comfortable, letting Declan be squished up in the back because he was a couple of inches shorter than him, it was a good feeling, but he was anxious this time. It was a mixture of not knowing how to act around Brendan, worrying that Declan would corner him about his bruises, and worrying about getting a couple of extra ones once he arrived home and handed over that letter.

“So, you boys looked great out there,” Brendan commented as he messed with his car keys, there was an underlying tone that got to Ste, emphasised by the subtle way Brendan looked him up and down as he spoke,

“Thanks da, I don’t mean to be full o’ myself or owt, but me an’ Ste are clearly the best on the team,” Declan visibly puffed up with pride as he settled into the back seat, somehow managing to stretch out whilst still being buckled in.

“I’m not _that_ good,” Ste shrugged modestly, Declan told him he was, Amy did too, but on the odd occasion where he’d reluctantly had to invite his parents, Terry had shot him down and it felt more believable than his friends,

“Not what your coach says,” Brendan noted as the car sparked to life, “Agrees with Deccy here, I have to agree with them,” he added, Declan smirking in the back seat,

“See? Best,” he reiterated, “I mean, my da doesn’t know anythin’ about football, but he’d at least notice if you were shite at it,” chuckled,

“Oi you, pack it in or I’ll make you walk,” Brendan warned,

“Looks like me an’ you are walkin’ after all Ste,” Declan shrugged,

“Steven can stay, gratitude just _spills_ out of him,” the look Brendan gave Ste when Declan wasn’t paying attention was enough to have him covering his lap with his backpack, his cheeks felt hot enough to burn and he was nervous Declan would notice his problem.

“Rude,” Declan huffed, “Are we goin’ or what?” he asked finally, sitting back and folding his arms over his chest,

“Well I thought we could go get some takeout or somethin’,” Brendan offered, Ste lit up at the opportunity to not go straight home,

“There’s this well mint Chinese place not far from here!” he exclaimed, “Their food is ace,” he added, as if they needed convincing,

“Deccy?” Brendan asked, reversing the car from its spot,

“Sure, I like Chinese,” Declan nodded,

“Well then, lead the way Steven, left or right?” he smiled, gesturing to the road outside the school,

“Turn left,” Ste instructed, soon eagerly pointing out the directions to the little Chinese place he knew of, he’d had food from there when he was at Amy’s one time, back when her dad tolerated him.

 

Ste rifled through his bag for his wallet whilst they were waiting in the queue at the takeaway, unfolding the cheaply made City wallet and looking at the shrapnel change he had; his shoulders sagged when he realised he couldn’t afford the food he wanted, but he figured he didn’t live too far, so he could just walk the rest of the way home and leave father and son to their meal.

“Guys?” he pressed quietly as the queue shortened and Brendan sauntered up to the counter, Declan in tow, he waited as the two Bradys ordered their food before approaching and trying again, “Uh… guys?”

“What’re you havin’ Steven?” Brendan asked, gesturing to the menu on the counter,

“Nowt, I forgot my wallet, it’s aright though I’ll just get off home,” he thumbed at the door as he lied, about to step back and head off when Brendan stopped him,

“It’s on me,” he supplied quickly,

“Huh?” Ste frowned, “I’ll pay you back, promise,” he swore, he wasn’t sure where he’d get the money though, but he’d sure as hell try,

“Don’t worry about it, call it a congratulations on your recent Captaincy,” Brendan offered, Ste nodded at that, easing himself between Brendan and the counter to ask for the Szechuan Squid he’d tried one time, unnaturally aware of how close Brendan was, feeling the heat of his body cross the few inches of space between them where Brendan hadn’t stepped back.

It didn’t really occur to him what Brendan had said about the food bill until Ste was settled into his seat in the car, pausing for a moment to frown at the bagged food in his lap before speaking up,

“’Ang on, what Captaincy?” he asked abruptly, hissing quiet ‘ah’s as he tried to adjust the bag of food so it wasn’t burning his lap through his school trousers.

“I thought you’d been made Captain, Hutch-o mentioned it,” Brendan explained flippantly, “unless… he meant he was _makin’_ you Captain…” he trailed off, “I didn’t realise he’d not told you, oops…” he didn’t sound particularly apologetic for spilling the news, in fact it sounded like he’d done it on purpose, but Ste didn’t care,

“Are you serious?” he asked, voice pitching higher as the news sank in and spiked him with excitement, “Me?! _Captain?”_ he gaped,

“Mate that’s wicked!” Declan piped up, pushing forwards in his seat and leaning between the two front seats to clap Ste on the shoulder.

“That’s what the man said, Steven,” Brendan assured as he pulled away from the curb, the smile on his face was fond, like a quiet pride, and Ste revelled in the fact that someone seemed proud of him, even if it _was_ his mate’s dad… who’d given him a handjob earlier that day. “Your teammates look up to you, you’re a good player, you’re solid with your strategy, he threw in a token mention of diversity too, but that’s minor and—quite frankly—borderline offensive,”

“Diversity? What? _The gay thing_?” Ste’s voice was a whisper when he said gay, like someone would overhear and go running to his parents about it,

“Yes Steven, _the gay thing_ , because I’m pretty sure _‘chav’_ isn’t a cultural minority,” Brendan drawled, Declan laughing it up as he sat back in his seat.

“I ain’t a chav!” Ste protested,

“You absolutely are, look at you, I’m pretty sure your arse was hangin’ out your trousers earlier, boxers on display for the world to see,” Brendan gestured and Ste frowned,

“Well firstly, stop lookin’ at my arse you old perv, and secondly, I’m not _wearing_ boxers,” he huffed defiantly, Declan was howling at this point,

“I’ll take that food off you in a minute you cheeky little shite,” Brendan warned, but he was smiling and the look in his eyes was one of amused knowing, smug that _he_ was the reason Ste was going commando.

“Fuckin’ hell Ste,” Declan gasped between laughs,

“I’m not a pervert,” Brendan noted as an afterthought,

“Yeah he’d have noticed if you had your lily-white arse out,” Declan joked,

“My arse ain’t _that_ white…” he chuntered, not liking how he was getting ganged up on now,

“Nude sunbathing Steven? What _would_ the neighbours think?” Brendan teased,

“Oh like I give a fuck,” Ste shrugged, “They’re all wankers around he…” he trailed off as he looked around, “Uh… Mr Brady?” he frowned, not recognising where they were,

“Jesus how many times…” Brendan sighed quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose, “What is it Steven?”

“I don’t live around ‘ere,” he pointed out, they were in a nicer part of town, one of the more modern estates with angular looking houses with sloped roofs and solar panels that didn’t look weird and out of place like they did on council houses,

“I know,” Brendan answered, “But _I_ live here, an’ I figure if I’m feeding you, I may as well do it under my own roof,”

“Hey Ste maybe you can call yer mam an’ ask if you can stay yeah? Da’ll get us to school on time in the mornin’ woncha da?” Declan piped it up, and there it was, Declan’s trap, set up and ready to spring,

“I’ve got work tonight Declan,” Brendan pointed out, Ste was almost grateful for the excuse, but Declan wasn’t about to let up.

“Oh c’mon it’ll get you out outta bed for like… fifteen minutes, tops, promise!” Declan gave Brendan a pleading look that threatened a knock to their burgeoning relationship should he be denied, and Brendan caved,

“Fine, _only_ if it’s alright with his mam,” Ste looked between them briefly, he could either fall into the damning trap and get questioned about his bruises, or go home. As much as he didn’t want to talk about it, it was easier to fob Declan off with shitty excuses than it was to convince Terry not to deck him one, he’d text his mum as a courtesy, but he wasn’t about to call in case his teacher had called home to tell them to expect a letter,

“Sure! Sounds mint!”


	3. Chapter 3

“I’ve gotta call me mam,” Ste announced as Brendan let them into the house, handing his bag of food over to Declan before gesticulating with his phone, “is there somewhere I can go?” he asked, wanting privacy to construct his latest lie,

“Sure, just through there,” Brendan gestured to the door they’d just passed; past that door and the staircase, the ground floor was pretty open plan, the kitchen was kitted out and shared its space with a dining room, the two led onto a small sitting area where Ste could see the roof was sloped down, the whole place was pristine, black and white, modern and minimalist, but ultimately impersonal. He backtracked where Brendan pointed, pushing the door open and stepping into a heavily mirrored personal gym, which nearly blinded him when he flicked all the lights on,

“Jesus,” he hissed, covering his eyes and blinking quickly to adjust them, looking around at all the high tech gym equipment that looked like he’d just been teleported into one of those fancy gyms business executives used in big cities. He leant on a treadmill, looking through the open door as he thumbed a vague text to his mum to say he was alive and at a friend’s, he didn’t think she’d read it, or care for that matter, but he wasn’t about to call home and ask permission, so he held the phone to his ear after and blagged it in case his voice carried.

“Hiya mam,” he greeted nobody, pausing for effect, “Yeah it went alright, Declan’s asked if I can stay at his overnight, yeah he’s a mate, he’s solid… his dad’s yeah…” he trailed off, catching glimpses of Declan placing glasses on the dining table and pouring out the coke they’d bought, whilst his dad plated everything up. He ‘hung up’ and shoved his phone in his pocket, slapping the lights off as he emerged from the lush gym,

“What’s the craic?” Declan asked, looking hopeful,

“Mam’s fine with it,” he lied, grinning when Declan hissed ‘yes’ and balled his hands up to solidify it, Ste glanced over at Brendan in the kitchen, feeling his skin prickle with warmth when Brendan smiled at him.

“Arses down, dinner’s up,” Brendan said as he strode over with three plates balanced expertly on his arm, Ste sat down on one of the high backed chairs obediently, Declan plopping down next to him and holding his hands out for his plate,

“Cutlery’s on the table, chopsticks or forks, whatever,” Declan pointed at the pile of silverware as Brendan placed their plates down on the dark glass table, grabbing some steel chopsticks.

Ste ended up the only one using a fork, but he wasn’t about to embarrass himself in front of Brendan by _trying_ to use the metal sticks; the food was just as good as he remembered and the two Bradys were happy to tell him what a good find he’d made. He couldn’t help but glow at that, proud of his memory of the place, hoping deep down that maybe this could be a regular thing, one that would hopefully feature a repeat of his and Brendan’s earlier encounter.

It was probably stupid of him to hope for a repeat, not with what Declan had said about him, but Brendan was just as flirty as ever, even offering up a stab of his food, which Declan had to comment on,

“I hope this ain’t gonna be like some romcom, if it is I’m gonna boke,” he made a show of gagging at them, but Brendan instead extended his plate across the table between him and Ste, waiting for the teen to spear some of the Kung Po beef and it’s accompaniments before taking his plate back.

“I’d offer you some Deccy but you’re a disgrace to mankind,” Brendan stated dryly,

“It’s pronounced _vegetarian_ ,” Ste corrected with a smirk before stuffing the food into his mouth, trying not to choke when Brendan let out a long laugh.

“Hey I don’t insult you two for shovin’ meat down your throats,” Ste _did_ choke this time, coughing food into his hand and exercising his disgusting and cheap side by trying to quietly swallow his chewed mess, thankful nobody noticed.

“Course not, cause that would be homophobic and hopefully you were raised better than that,” Ste snorted at that, though his thoughts darkened a fraction thinking about what Eileen had said about him, glad Declan had brushed it off.

 

They carried on eating and conversation alternated between football and school, Ste cheering up quickly and wolfing his food down, all the while avoiding the topic of his shitty grades, at least until Brendan brought the subject up.

“This is your last year of the mandatory stuff isn’t it?” he asked, gesturing at their backpacks on the ground by the couch,

“Yeah pretty much, just got the exams in a few months and we’re free,” Declan sounded thrilled about this, but Ste wasn’t so sure, even less so when Brendan scoffed,

“Free, right, that’s what you call it,” he chuckled darkly, “So I know Deccy’s goin’ for A Levels ready for Uni,” Declan gave Brendan a quizzical look then, Ste figuring he’d not actually brought his plans up with his dad yet, “you keep leavin’ all that prospectus bullshit around my house, it’s hard not to know what you’re up to,” Brendan elaborated, “How about you Steven? University on the cards?” he asked, Ste felt his cheeks colour and looked down at his empty plate,

“Nah… not really for me,” he admitted,

“No?” Ste looked up to see an exchange of glances between Declan and Brendan, “that’s fine, I went straight into workin’ when I left school, tell you what, put me as a character reference when you start applyin’ for jobs, I talk a big game,” he half-joked,

“Or you could offer him a job da,” Declan suggested,

“Would you?” Ste asked, perking up a bit, if he had some job prospects this whole ‘exam’ thing wouldn’t weigh so heavily on him,

“No can do Steven, club’s stopped doin’ food, hours are a bit late for you to be collectin’ glasses, and you’re too young to pull pints,” he hummed, “besides, that ain’t what you want for yourself,”

“Well _you_ do it,” Ste pointed out, earning a laugh from the older Brady, “What?”

“Steven I run a club, I’m not a barmaid,” he chuckled, Ste sulked a little at that,

“There’s nothing wrong with working a bar though da,” Declan pointed out,

“I just want a job so I can move away from… my parents…” he almost slipped up and said Terry; sure his mum was an absolute nightmare, but it was Terry that was the main issue in his home, his mum he could deal with, she’d leave him well alone if Terry wasn’t there lording over everyone, _battering_ everyone. He noticed Brendan giving Declan a questioning look, relieved when Declan just shrugged,

“Well escaping the nest is always a good starting goal,” Brendan nodded slowly, “Everyone’s gotta do it someday, right?”

“Yeah I guess…” Ste shrugged, he missed the easier conversations of earlier, feeling scrutinised and judged on some level, even though he knew they weren’t looking at him with any kind of malice, it was just what he was used to.

An awkward silence had settled over them, only broken by the clinking of Declan collecting up plates and cutlery and dumping them on the side in the kitchen, with Declan’s back turned, Brendan was eyeing Ste up. The way he was looking at Ste wasn’t purely sexual like Ste had expected, he felt like a puzzle that Brendan couldn’t quite work out, but there was still something in his eyes that said Brendan thought Ste would be easier to figure out without his clothes on, which had Ste smirking over at him.

“Tone it down Ste,” Declan whispered on his return, “I’m almost glad da’s workin’ tonight, I don’t want to think what you’d try t’do,” he was joking but Ste blushed at the comment, he probably would have tried _something_ if he knew Brendan was going to be there all night, he felt a little ashamed about that.

 

He tried to control himself a little better as time passed and they moved over to the lounge for comfort, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the locker room, having to sit with his socked feet on the edge of the couch and his knees drawn to his chest just in case his body decided to betray his thoughts.

Declan pretty much saved him though, clapping his hands together abruptly and sitting forward,

“Mate you’ve _got_ to see my room! D’I tell you da bought me the new Xbox?” he asked,

“Yeah you mentioned it, sounds mint,” Ste smiled,

“C’mon then,” Declan urged, pushing to his feet and dragging Ste with him. He glanced to Brendan and saw the quiet amusement on the man’s face as he followed and stopped by the front door, chuckling quietly himself and feeling his cheeks warm at how fond Brendan looked. They were half way up the stairs when Brendan spoke,

“Wait a second Declan,” he piped up, picking an overlooked package up off the table by the door, his words stopping Declan in his attempt to take the stairs three at a time,

“Yeah da?”

“Your thing arrived, this,” he held it up to Declan,

“My game! Why didn’t you say earlier? Man I been waitin’ for this!” Declan actually shoved past Ste to get back downstairs, Ste curling in on himself, fingers touching where his bruising throbbed at the abrupt contact,

“Christ Deccy it’s just a game, there’s no need to try an’ kill your mate,” Brendan chastised, eyes on Ste as he handed the package to Declan,

“Sorry mate,” Declan apologised, looking sheepish,

“It’s alright, what game is it?” he gritted out, smiling soon after,

“It’s the Metro redux,” he beamed, holding the package up like Ste could see through the bag,

“Metro? Don’t you have that already?” Ste asked, he remembered the game, he’d borrowed it for a while before Christmas,

“Yeah I have Last Light, but this is the Redux, it’s got the old one _and_ the new one, remastered, _Xbox One_ ,” Ste was happy that Declan was so excited about it, but he knew Declan would want to play it now, and it was single player, which meant he’d be sat watching for the most part. He didn’t mind too much, but not being actively involved would mean he had time to think about what had happened between him and Brendan, and he either wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened at all, for his own sanity, or to find a way to talk to Brendan about it, maybe push to see if something similar could happen again.

“Yeah cool,” he didn’t mean to sound that unenthusiastic, it just sort of happened,

“Don’t worry though, you can have first turn an’ we’ll swap on death yeah?” Declan suggested hopefully and Ste smiled at him,

“Alright, you’re never gettin’ a go,” he warned, continuing up the stairs and waiting for Declan, looking down the hallway and seeing five different doors, not sure which one led to Declan’s room.

“As if,” Declan huffed, shouldering Ste gently as he passed and they headed down the hall to the furthest door, Declan presenting his room like some grand dream factory, when in actual fact it was a bedroom that looked more like a bedsit, his bed was pressed against the far wall and there was a couch that halved the room, a large TV mounted on the wall with Declan’s collection of consoles and games neatly underneath it. There weren’t any posters or things like that, but there was a shelf full of worn books and framed photographs, “Make yourself comfy mate I gotta install it,” Declan was tearing into the parcel, throwing the packaging on the couch and kneeling in front of the unit his consoles were on.

Ste opted to stand, following the shelving and noseying at the pictures Declan had seen fit to frame at his dad’s house, a lot of them were of him, Declan and Amy, things they’d done together in the short time they’d known the Irish lad; there were a few of the trio hanging out over Christmas, lounging about in the park together, there was even one of those awkward selfies where they all had their faces pressed close together to get into the small window the phone’s camera and an arm’s reach would allow. He was grinning at the selfie, moving along to see a photo Declan must’ve taken shortly after meeting his father for the first time since he was four years old, it was almost a selfie, Declan was giving an unsure thumbs up, expression uncomfortable amusement with Brendan sort of half-heartedly giving a two fingered wave just past Declan’s shoulder, along with an apologetic smile.

“Must be nice,” he hummed to himself,

“Huh?”

“Your dad, when you met him,” he elaborated, he hadn’t really meant to bring up the whole ‘meeting your dad’ thing, he didn’t want to seem bitter,

“Yeah, just after Christmas,” Declan answered, he’d not told them he was meeting his dad, in fact up until Declan announced his dad would be picking them up that one Friday, Ste had only known that Declan’s parents were divorced because his dad was gay, he never really had details or a timeframe for it all. “You don’t know yours… do you?” Declan pegged onto what Ste was getting at, sadness hinting at his voice,

“Nah… not sure I want to…” he admitted, his life was bad enough with _one_ dad, he wasn’t sure he could cope with two,

“I’m sure he’s nothin’ like your step-da…” Declan assured, Ste looked over to him, seeing he’d plonked himself down on the comfortable looking couch, xbox controller in hand as he watched Ste and waited for the game to reach a playable percent of install. “He might be mint, mine is,”

“Yeah,” Ste agreed with a smile, earning an exasperated sigh and an eye roll from Declan,

“You two are gross,” he gave a fake shudder and Ste laughed, “You need to pack it in mate, I don’t want a step-da who’s younger than me,” he chuckled,  
“I’m not _that_ much younger than you,” Ste protested, it was a few months difference,

“Still younger, my little step-daddy,” he pulled a face as he said it,

“Fuck off,” Ste was blushing and he knew it,

“You don’t really _want_ that do you?” Declan asked, sounding sceptical,

“Course not, he’s well old,” Ste lied, he wasn’t sure _marriage_ was on the cards, but he definitely wanted _something_ with Brendan, even if it _was_ just mind blowing sex (and he had no doubts it would be mind blowing, if that hand job was anything to go by).

“So it’s not the whole ‘my dad’ thing that’s turnin’ you off? You’re heinous!”

“Shurrup am not, game’s done,” he distracted from the topic with a gesture at the screen, Declan offering him the controller with one hand, patting the couch next to him with the other, Ste leapt onto the couch and snatched the controller, knees hugged comfortably to his chest as he hit play and set up to go through the campaign with Declan.

 

A few hours passed and Ste could feel himself nodding off, Declan had hit his stride and was taking a lot longer to die, even on Hardcore, which meant the controller was taking longer to be passed over to Ste. He didn’t mind if he was honest, quite content to curl up at the other end of the couch, arm folded beneath his head on the arm of the chair, it was a lot nicer and a lot more comfortable than he would have been at home, plus he didn’t have to worry about that stupid English grade for a while longer. There was a knock on the bedroom door and Ste glanced over, not really seeing past Declan and the back of the couch because he couldn’t be bothered to lift his head,

“Alright lads,” Brendan greeted as he stepped up to the back of the couch, hands resting on the back of it; he’d changed clothes, Ste noted, now in a slate coloured suit with a crisp white shirt, the top few buttons undone so his crucifix was on display.

“Hey da,” Declan greeted, Ste just grunted his acknowledgement and turned his gaze back to the TV where Declan continued to play,

“I’m goin’ to work now, just a few ground rules, no drinks, no drugs, no parties, it’s a school night, got it?” Declan nodded,

“Is the club busy on a Wednesday?” Ste asked curiously, sitting up when Brendan rounded his end of the couch and perched on the arm of the chair Ste had been leaning on, he wasn’t too bothered by the proximity but he didn’t want to look _too_ comfortable with being so close to Brendan’s ass.

“Not particularly,” he shrugged, “Thursdays are worse, _student night_ ,” he grimaced as he said that,

“Right so college students aren’t your thing but my best mate is?” Declan jabbed a little too openly, turning pink when Ste looked over at him in shock, Brendan didn’t acknowledge it though,

“Cheap drinks and awful music… Brings in a right horde of feckin’ eejits,” he sighed, Ste looked up at him, letting his eyes wander briefly before realising Brendan was staring at him too. He offered a half smile and Brendan smiled back and shook his head, “Right, I’d best be off,” he didn’t move straight away, resting a hand on Ste’s shoulder and startling the teenager, “I’ll make sure I’m up to drop you two at school in the mornin’,” he ensured, “Try to get some sleep though aye boys? You look like you need it,” the latter half of the comment felt like it was aimed at Ste, who stared at Brendan’s hand as the man’s fingers squeezed his shoulder gently, looking up to his face to see concern in his expression, “Remember the rules,” he warned both of them as he let go of Ste’s shoulder and stood up, straightening out his jacket and giving Ste a clear view of the way his trousers fit snug on his backside.

“Yeah I know, no drink, no drugs, no parties, school night, don’t stay up too late, got it,” Declan prattled off autonomously, earning a laugh from his dad before the two teens were left alone again. Ste stretched out with a loud yawn before curling up with his face on the arm again, trying not to think about how the arm of the chair was warm from where Brendan had sat briefly, even if that really should have been an off putting thought. “You tired Ste?” Declan piped up after noticing Ste had settled, Ste shrugging as best he could without disturbing his position, “If y’are I’ll show ya where you can go t’bed,” he offered, pausing the game and pushing off of the couch, helping Ste to his feet and waiting for him to grab his bag before heading into the hallway.

The room he showed Ste was next to the master bedroom and the stairs, “You gotta go through the laundry room,” he shrugged as an explanation for the small room they ended up in, opening another door that led to a bedroom.

“Whose room is this?” Ste asked curiously, the room was pretty neutral like the others, keeping with the monochrome theme the house seemed to have, there was a double bed and side-tables, a lamp on one, and a large wardrobe just behind the door, not much else though, it looked like a guest room.

“It’s just a spare I think… It’s the only other one with a bed, so I think it was supposed t’be Paddy’s…” he trailed off, unsure,

“You think?” Ste prompted, dumping his bag on the bed and sitting down, bouncing slightly on the comfortable, clearly unused mattress.

“Yeah, I dunno,” he shrugged, “Paddy doesn’t really talk to da, you know?” he admitted,

“Oh…” Ste frowned, watching Declan kick awkwardly at the carpet, the other teen stopping shortly after and moving to sit next to Ste on the bed,

“Well I don’t blame ‘im, yanno? He doesn’t really _know_ da,” Ste wanted to tell Declan that he didn’t owe him painful details, but wasn’t sure how to say as much without sounding like an asshole. Ste had only really shared _his_ family troubles with Declan because his hand had been forced when he flubbed a lie he’d told Declan and Amy, screwing up the details and getting called out on it by the Irish lad, because Amy already knew. He heard Declan sigh and looked over, seeing him looking _relieved_ , “Da left when Paddy was born,” he said, “There were complications, Paddy ended up in one of those little baby incubator things you see on the telly, it really shook da up,” he explained, hands clasped together in his lap, “I didn’t know he told mam he was queer before he left, not until recently,” he meant the conversation in the car before, when Ste’d first met Brendan, “I thought he just up an’ left, but after he told us that I asked what happened… He says he told mam we’d be better off without him around, and I guess she must’ve agreed? Mam’s always been bitter about the queer thing…” Ste tried to think what Declan would do if it was Ste opening up, scooting closer so their shoulders bumped together lightly.

“Well at least he’s tryin’ now?” Ste offered uselessly,

“On’y cause Michael got a job over in Manchester, an’ Aunty Cheryl old us this was where da was,” Declan huffed bitterly, “I had to _beg_ mam to let me contact him,” he tagged on, head drooping,

“Was he against it then?” Ste couldn’t see Brendan turning down the opportunity to see his kids, not with how he’d do just about anything Declan asked him to,

“I dunno, he was surprised I guess, I hadn’t seen him since I was four or five,” another shrug, “don’t think he expected me to remember ‘im… even though he sent us cards and money every year,” Declan actually smirked after that, amusement all over his face,

“What’s funny?” Ste asked, the smile was infectious and Ste was grinning,

“I recognised the tash,” he chuckled and Ste let out a snort,

“He had the tash back then?” he asked in disbelief,

“Yep, wasn’t so long on the sides but it was there,” he laughed, but he sobered quickly after and grew sullen, “I wish he’d stayed… not like… with me mam or anythin’, but you know… Paddy shoulda known him…”

“Doesn’t he try with Paddy?” Ste asked, toying with the corner of the duvet,

“Paddy just doesn’t see the point,” despite what Ste had said earlier, he probably wouldn’t pass up the chance to meet his dad if he got it, “Michael’s the only dad he’s known an’ the only one he really wants,” Declan shrugged,

“That must really suck for Brendan…” Ste noted,

“Da sorta accepted it, he only ever asked once, but I reckon it bothers him,” Declan admitted, “Jeez I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a downer, you prolly just wanted to go to sleep,” he laughed awkwardly, scratching his neck and cringing,

“It’s alright, yer my mate aincha?” Ste gave him a reassuring smile and elbowed him lightly, “’sides, you listened to _my_ sob story,” he tagged on with a shrug,

“Aw shite now I feel worse,” Declan grimaced, “Here’s me whinin’ about my da bein’ back in my life an’ you… well… you know… what you went through…” he buried his face in his hands and Ste’s heart sank guiltily,

“’Ey don’t be like that, it’s not a competition Dec,” he assured, wrapping an arm around Declan’s shoulders and squeezing, trying to be reassuring,

“I just can’t imagine it… you know? You’re _family_ , even if you ain’t blood… I can’t imagine anyone wanting to hit their kids, _actually_ hitting their kids like that…” Declan whispered, Ste just sat there, he didn’t have an answer for Declan, he didn’t know why Terry did it, why it happened to him, and he couldn’t well say ‘maybe I deserved it’, like Terry had hammered into him, he just sort of shut down, readying the lie for when the inevitable ‘is it still happening?’ came, ready to restart the cyclical self-loathing, knowing that the next time he got a thrashing he’d think ‘this wouldn’t have happened if you told your mates’ and accept his punishment.

 

They sat there quietly for a long while, Ste kept his arm around Declan’s shoulders, Declan had his hands clasped in front of him, wrists on his knees as he stared at the far wall, Ste could feel the questions lingering under Declan’s skin, knew what was coming before Declan even opened his mouth, hell he knew it was coming when he saw Declan look at him at _practice_.

“Ste…” Declan started slowly, and Ste let his arm slip from around Declan’s shoulders in favour of flopping onto his back and sighing heavily, “It _has_ stopped… right?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Ste huffed, “It’s stopped…” he covered his face with his arm, ready to say the light was hurting his eyes if Declan thought it suspicious,

“You’d tell me if it happens again though… we’re mates, I need to know you’re okay…” Declan was looking at him with that soppy look of concern when Ste moved his arm to peek out at him,

“Course,” he offered a smile,

“It’s just… I saw your stomach at practice…” Declan admitted sheepishly, “It doesn’t look like old bruises…” he added, and Ste groaned,

“You _know_ I’ll tell you if it happens again, and it ain’t,” he covered his face again, “Dec mate, I’m well knackered,” he yawned, hoping Declan would give up the ghost on this one.

“Alright…” Declan sounded downtrodden at that, realising he was being brushed off and blanked on the topic, Ste couldn’t help but feel guilty, but he hated when people pushed about his home life. “Right, sure, okay, I’ll get gone yeah… do you need some jammies? I’ve got them lounge pants an’ stuff, probably fit you if you need em,” he offered, playing the good host like his mam taught him to,

“Nah I’ll sleep in me pants,” Ste dismissed, Declan giving him an odd look but standing and heading for the door regardless.

“You need owt just shout us okay?” he said firmly, “Anythin’ at all,” he added as he pulled the door to close,

“Declan?” Ste piped up, Declan leaning back in,

“Yeah mate?”

“Thanks, you’re a good friend… I know you’re lookin’ out for me, but I’m fine,” he said with a weak smile, he really wished things hadn’t become about him, hating himself for bringing up his own sordid home life, Declan was the one opening up after all, but Ste didn’t have advice to offer, he wasn’t exactly good at family bonding.

“Alright,” Declan smiled, seemingly content that Ste got the hint when he said ‘anything’, “Night Ste,”

“Night!” Ste grinned, watching the door close before easing himself up onto his feet, pulling his football shirt off and dumping it on the floor, unzipping his school trousers to do the same, not even pushing them down before he realised the big flaw in his sleeping plan, “Shit…” he grunted, wondering if he should ask Declan for some pants. He shook that thought away pretty quickly, he didn’t want to get his junk on Declan’s clothes, so he grabbed his bag and pulled his football shorts out, figuring they were comfortable enough to sleep in, changing quickly and climbing into the bed. It took him a while to fall asleep, not used to such a comfortable bed, or such a bare looking room, but he eventually drifted off, cocooned in the softest, newest smelling covers he’d ever had the pleasure of getting himself all over.

 

Ste awoke several hours later in a state of confusion, unsure of his surroundings and struggling to adjust his sight in the dark; he looked around as the darkness became clearer, taking in the poster-free walls, the clean paintwork, and the expensive looking wardrobe with mirrored doors, slowly realising he was safe and sound in the spare room at Brendan’s house, with Declan a couple of doors down. He was just dozing off when he heard voices outside his door,  
“Jesus would you hurry up?” he frowned as Brendan spoke, wondering who he was talking to, he looked at the closed door and squinted as if it would help him see through the wood,

“I’m goin’ I’m goin’, quit pushin’ me, Brendan,” came another accented voice, Ste stifled a yawn and eased himself out of bed, padding quietly to the door and listening for the footsteps to fade before he eased the door open. The lights were on downstairs but he didn’t go down, crouching at the top of the steps and leaning so he could see down through the railings, Brendan was stood with the front door open, an impatient look on his face as the man he was with, some tall, skinny guy with a scruff of stubble and sharp features, tried to ease close and convince him to let him stop longer.

“I said leave,”  
“Really? You’re kicking me out after one round?” the man shook his head, “unbelievable, you haven’t changed at all,” he stepped back at the push of Brendan’s hand against his chest,

“You’re really surprised? I thought you said you knew me Eoghan,” Brendan smirked, tucking his hands into the pockets of his slate coloured trousers, the same ones he’d gone to work in. Ste thought it was odd that Brendan was dressed after, presumably, sleeping with this Eoghan guy, but his shirt was open and untucked and his hair was definitely less pristine than it had been when he left, he looked hot as fuck, which made jealousy twist and coil in Ste’s gut as he sat there watching.

“I know you’re _pathetic_ ,” Eoghan quipped, and Ste wanted to say something to counter it, but Brendan just laughed, “Just how many guys do you go through Brendan?”

“What are we talkin’ here, per annum, per month, per _week_?” he countered easily, he still didn’t look pleased to have Eoghan hanging about in his doorway, which Ste reacted to by pushing to his feet and feigning sleepiness as he trailed sluggishly down the stairs, letting out a loud yawn to announce himself. His bare feet hit the ground floor before he looked up at the door, wrapping his arms around himself when he felt the draft of cold air on bare skin,

“oh… hi…” he greeted, putting on the tired voice he used whenever he tried to convince his mum he was too sick for school, Brendan gave him a once over before catching himself and looking pointedly at Ste’s face, but Ste caught it and so did this Eoghan,

“Well that’s a new low…” Eoghan muttered, “You have jailbait on tap, must be why you want me out of the way,” the way he looked at Ste made the teen uncomfortable, like he was being judged when it was Brendan he was accusing of being a predator,

“He’s my son’s best mate, they’re both here, I want you out because the last thing I need is Deccy knowing I fucked _you_ ,” he said ‘you’ with a sneer and Ste had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling at the offended look on Eoghan’s face,

“Charming,” Eoghan huffed, still staring at Ste, trying to figure him out,

“ _Always_ ,” Brendan shrugged, “Now go,” he urged again,

“I’m not done with you Brady,” Eoghan prodded Brendan as he spoke,  
“Oh joy…” Brendan exhaled, “I’ll call you, we’ll have _tea_ ,” the smile he gave Eoghan said he probably wouldn’t, and Ste coughed into his fist as an excuse to cover his smile. Reluctantly, Eoghan finally left, but not before giving Brendan a venomous look and Ste a final once over that said he doubted Brendan’s story about Ste being a friend of Declan’s. “ _Steven_ ,” Brendan acknowledged properly, Ste shifting from one foot to the other before turning on his heel and marching through to the kitchenette,

“Wanted a drink,” he excused lamely, “Didn’t know you had company,” he added, feeling Brendan enter the small space between the kitchen island and the sink, stopping about a foot behind Ste.

“Now that’s not true is it?” Brendan asked, Ste turning and looking wide eyed at him, “creaky door,” he nodded as if to gesture upstairs, Ste hadn’t even noticed the door make a noise, too busy focussing on Brendan’s voice as he tried to get Eoghan to leave.

“Oh…” he let out, looking sheepish, “sorry…” he apologised, leaning back against the counter, hands bracing himself and hips pushing forwards a fraction, he watched as Brendan looked him over slowly, smiling when the older man stepped forwards and closed the gap between them almost completely.

 

The warmth of Brendan’s body sank into Ste’s skin even though they weren’t quite touching, Brendan’s proximity and the faded smell of mixed aftershave and sex overwhelmed his senses and he tilted his head up slightly as an invite. Brendan’s hand rose, fingertips just ghosting over Ste’s face, marvelling him before touching his lips to Ste’s once, then twice, his hand tucked behind Ste’s neck and he kissed him a third time, open mouthed and hungry. Ste was grinning into Brendan’s mouth as the man practically _devoured_ him, kissing back with wet, needy little noises bubbling up in his throat, some of them considerably more masculine and mature than he knew he was capable of. His knuckles were white as he clung to the counter, his grip there the only thing grounding him as this dream unravelled as a hot pressure against his front, nervous to let go and touch Brendan after last time.

It was sudden and unexpected, but Brendan’s other hand bypassed his football shorts entirely, shoving them down past Ste’s ass and grabbing a good handful, pulling Ste flush against him; the teen let out an eager rumble of a moan against his mouth, hips rocking to show Brendan just how interested he was.

“Maybe we should take this upstairs,” Ste suggested with a sly smile as they parted, panting softly, tongue caught between his teeth,

“ _Steven_ ,” there was a warning in Brendan’s tone but he was smiling, fingertips tracing the crack of Ste’s arse, pushing between the cheeks and dragging lightly over smooth flesh, feathering over tight muscle with enough pressure to make Ste twitch there, “I like this,” he withdrew his other hand from the nape of Ste’s neck and gestured at the minute space between them, “but we really shouldn’t,” he kissed Ste regardless, open mouth catching Ste’s and leaving his lips wet when he pulled back. Ste sucked in a sharp breath when Brendan’s hand released his ass cheek and gave it a quick slap, “as much as I want to,” Brendan murmured, leaning in to mouth it against Ste’s neck,

“Well I’m not gonna stop ya,” Ste _giggled_ at the feel of a moustache against his neck, Brendan gave Ste’s ass one last squeeze before easing his hands to the teen’s bare hips, thumbs brushing the skin there as he gave Ste a quick kiss on the mouth, pressing their foreheads together, “Go on,” Ste whispered huskily, nudging their noses together before mouthing a light kiss, “fuck me,” he felt sexy with the way Brendan looked at him, the two of them well and truly up for it, but Brendan let out a deep chuckle and Ste’s confidence dropped.

“I don’t fuck teenagers,” Brendan tutted dismissively, but he was staring at Ste’s mouth like it held a world of secrets,

“No you just wank ‘em off at school,” Ste tried to pass it off as a joke, some light fun to get a different kind of laugh, but it didn’t work and he let out a low whine when Brendan stepped back and tucked his hands into his pockets, leaving a chill on Ste’s skin where he’d once been pressed firmly.

“I…” Brendan gritted out, staring _through_ Ste with cold eyes, “I never meant for that to happen…” he said flatly, touching two fingers to Ste’s sternum, “ _This_ … this is _sick_ ,” Ste recoiled at that, offended and pulling his shorts back up huffily,

“Sick?” he bit out,

“You’re a _child_ ,” Brendan growled,

“I’m _legal_ ,” Ste objected, “There weren’t nothin’ wrong wi’ that when you had your hand down me pants, an’ there’s nothin’ wrong with this _now_ ,” he stepped forward and pressed himself to Brendan, Brendan’s fingers inadvertently trailing from his sternum to the mottled bruising on Ste’s abdomen,

“ _Barely_ ,” Brendan scoffed, “ _Everythin’_ is wrong with this, Steven,” despite his tone he kissed Ste, licking into his mouth, biting and sucking his bottom lip until Ste’s defences dropped, then pulling back and looking at him like he was something dirty, “You’re gettin’ under my _skin_ and I can’t stand it,” his jaw was tense and set as he spoke and the chaste kiss that followed was uncomfortable for Ste, “you’re turnin’ me into someone _I_ _don’t want to be_ ,” he looked down to where his fingers pressed lightly to Ste’s darkened skin, rolling from fingertips to knuckles and pushing Ste away from him. Ste bit his lip to hide the brief flare of pain he felt, focusing instead on the way Brendan touched his face again, tracing his jaw and curling around his neck, “I don’t want to do this Steven, _I don’t_ ,” he met Brendan’s gaze then, offering an unsure smile,

“You sure?” he asked hopefully, biting his lip and looking coy, smiling a little broader when Brendan tilted his head to the side and smiled at him.

It took a few seconds for Ste to catch up with what happened, Brendan’s cheek was pressed to his, fingers digging into his neck painfully, but not _nearly_ enough to distract from the agony that erupted across his stomach, where Brendan’s closed fist was still pressed. “ _Stay away from me_ ,” Brendan whispered, lips and moustache brushing Ste’s ear, Ste felt like he was under water, drowning and barely able to make out Brendan’s words, but the message sank in and he flinched when Brendan’s touch went from cruel to concerned, “hey, hey, you’re okay, you’re fine, get some rest,” Brendan patted his cheek. “Sleep it off,” Ste stared at him dumbfounded, tears falling down his cheeks, tears Brendan wiped away with a thumb, “shhh, there’s no need for that now Steven, you’re a big boy, man up,”

“I’m goin’ to bed…” Ste excused weakly,

“Atta boy,” Brendan’s hands slipped from him and he cradled his stomach protectively as he shuffled away, biting back a sob as he bolted up the stairs and back to the spare room, closing the laundry door and the bedroom door once he was inside, soon cocooning himself in the blankets again and letting out a broken little noise of pain.

He curled in on himself and cried, confused and angry at how things had turned so quickly, but what got to him most was the shattering of every reassurance his friends had ever given him over his abuse. _He’s sick, it’s not your fault, it’s just him_. It was just supposed to be _Terry_ , so why was it Brendan too? Brendan had told Ste he was to blame before he’d even hit him, and that just _crushed_ him, confirming in his mind that maybe it _was_ his fault he kept getting hurt.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay on this one, it's been really difficult for me to get the drive to write this chapter for some reason and I don't think I'm happy with how it's gone. Thank you again for all the amazing comments, I'm really glad you're all enjoying it and I'm sorry to anyone who wasn't happy with the introduction of the violence between Ste and Brendan, I've sort of explained my reasoning behind it on Tumblr (I'm Nopholom over there too by the way, I do update about the fic but it's mostly just me complaining about how terrible I am). I think from this point I'm going to aim to update weekly, that way I've got plenty of time and I'm not going to stress myself out over inconsistent updating, plus it means if a chapter flows I'll be able to bank a few and chill out. Anyway, onwards and upwards

Ste was up and dressed before 7am, he hadn’t gotten any sleep after what had happened, too consumed with working out what had gone so horribly wrong between him and Brendan and kept awake by the sound of footsteps echoing back and forth through the wall; he was no closer to figuring any of it out, not the attack _or_ the footfalls, when he dragged himself sluggishly downstairs, hand on his stomach wishing the pain could have eased off a bit more by now, but Brendan hit hard while Terry hit _more_.

Brendan was already in the kitchen when Ste stepped through the door, the teen freezing, rooted to the spot and watching as Brendan leant on his forearms on the counter, forehead pressed to his clasped hands, eyes closed and expression scrunched up, looking almost pained. He was stood there staring for a good five minutes before Brendan moved at all, the Irishman cursing and jerking upright quickly, slamming his fist on the counter, Ste letting out a surprised ‘buh’ at the sudden aggression, drawing Brendan’s attention to him.

Brendan looked as tired and stricken as Ste felt, but he was moving oddly, a sort of idle bouncing that looked like he was ready to fight or flee, which seemed fitting given the tracksuit bottoms and vest; Ste cowered against the doorframe and Brendan cringed uncomfortably, turning like he wanted to say something before thinking better of it and clamping his mouth shut.

“Mornin’…” Ste forced the word out, he felt hollow and distant as he finally peeled himself from the doorframe and skulked into the room, sitting at the kitchen island and staring at the dark marble countertop, searching for images in the swirls and speckles rather than looking over at Brendan.

“Steven…” he looked up then, meeting Brendan’s gaze dead on, watching with a bitter expression as Brendan struggled to even look at him, he could see the muscles in Brendan’s jaw twitching as he tensed and tried to force himself to look at Ste. He half expected an apology with the way Brendan looked, but it wasn’t what Brendan said when he finally found the words, “I don’t think you should spend time with my son anymore…”

“You wot?”

“It would be better for us… all of us… if you didn’t see Declan anymore,” he gritted out, skittering his fingers across the marble that separated him and Ste,

“You’re jokin’ right? You don’t have t’worry, I’m not gonna tell him _any_ of this,” he balked, glancing at the door, he knew Declan wouldn’t be up for a while, they didn’t need to leave til after 8 and he’d been up late playing his game so he’d likely be taking any sleep he could get.

“There’s nothin’ to tell,” Brendan dismissed and Ste let out a derisive snort,

“Nothin’ to… You forgettin’ the fact that you _molested_ and _beat_ me?” he was hurt, lashing out and making their encounter in the locker room sound worse than it was, it got to Brendan exactly like he intended it to,

“I did _not_ molest you,” Brendan hissed, leaning across the counter and grabbing Ste’s tie, pulling him so they were an inch apart,

“No denial on the beating then” Ste sniped despite the fear that coursed through him at Brendan’s sudden proximity and the fist his tie was coiled around,

“I didn’t molest you… I did _not_ molest you… you wanted… I would _never_ …” he seemed to rock back and forth as he denied sexual assault, deeply uncomfortable, “so what, I gave you a thump, it was barely anythin’…” he spat, actually spat, Ste could feel it on his cheek and he closed his eyes, waiting for a hit that never came, “god I gave you a thump,” Ste opened his eyes as Brendan released his tie, watching him shrink back, bury his head in his hands and slide down so he was leaning on the island, “Jesus Christ what am I doin’?” Ste felt his bitterness wane and confusion take its place, he’d never seen someone backpedal from hurting him like that, and while he hated himself for it, he felt _bad_ for Brendan, _worried_ about him even.

“I can’t believe it… I don’t believe I’m feelin’ sorry for you now, I’m _worryin’_ about _you_ ,” Ste scoffed, irritated with the stupid need he felt to reach out and _reassure_ the man who’d _hit him_ ,

“Don’t…” Brendan gritted out, looking up at Ste, “This _isn’t_ me,” he gestured between them vaguely, “I don’t… I don’t hit out… I don’t _do_ that… _he_ does that not _me_ ,” Ste got the feeling Brendan wasn’t talking to him anymore, but he leant forwards any way, cringing at the twinge in his stomach and reaching to touch Brendan’s hand where it was resting on the counter, offering comfort the way his friends did for him.

“Who hits out, Brendan?” he asked quietly, fingers trailing gently over Brendan's knuckles, and for a brief moment Ste thought Brendan was about to open up, but a door slammed upstairs and Brendan jerked his hand from underneath Ste’s and grew cold,

“I meant what I said,” Brendan said, not quite looking at Ste, “After today, you find a way to stay away from me an’ my boy,” he reiterated, turning away from Ste and opening a few cupboards, “So, you want cereal or toast?” he asked just in time for Declan to come shuffling into the room in a zombie-ish haze,

“Toast _ie_ ,” Declan demanded, earning a groan from Brendan, who crouched to fish a sandwich press from a lower cupboard regardless, “Cheese and tomato for me please,” he said as sweetly as possible, “What’re you havin’ Ste?”

“I uh… don’t really eat breakfast…” Ste lied, he felt sick to his stomach, trying to understand why Brendan thought they’d all be better off if he stopped seeing Declan, but already obediently trying to fabricate some kind of excuse to do exactly that; the issue was, Declan was friends with Amy too, so unless he isolated himself from _both_ of them he wouldn't be able to keep away from the Irish teen. He rested his chin in his hand, sulking tiredly and feeling sorry for himself,

“You sure Steven? You know the sayin’, breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” he gestured at Ste with a slice of rye bread before turning back to prepare Declan’s request,

“I’m fine…” he sighed, jumping when Declan sat next to him and pressed a hand to his shoulder,

“Mate you look rough,” Declan noted, “You okay?” Brendan looked over his shoulder then, Ste averting his gaze and looking down at the countertop,

“I didn’t sleep well,” Ste excused lamely,

“Sorry to hear that Steven, the bed not okay?” Brendan piped up innocently,

“Not used to sleeping at other people’s houses,” he explained, it wasn’t exactly a lie, he could never sleep at other people’s houses when he was a kid, too anxious about what would happen when he got home, now he was just anxious about what would happen if he said the wrong thing to Declan.

“Ah right, I didn’t know mate sorry,” Declan’s hand slipped from his shoulder and he took to drumming his fingers on the counter,

“No worries,” Ste smiled tiredly, he just wanted to get to school so he could be out of Brendan’s private warpath, figuring out a way to get his friends to leave him alone, not sure how he could do that short of hurtling abuse at them and becoming a shut in, maybe he'd have to leave the football team too.

 

He didn’t really say much after that, sighing quietly to himself and waiting for the minutes to tick by so he could get to school and away from the latest stressor in his life, he felt himself stiffen or flinch whenever Brendan so much as _looked_ at him unprompted, and Declan barely even seemed to notice. He wanted to say something, to break his own silence and act normal, but he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt the calm discourse between father and son, quietly jealous of the easy friendship the two had, angry at how this man was the same one who’d so easily hurt him. It hurt that Declan could get along with his dad so well, but it hurt more that he didn’t know his dad would hurt a teenager, _had_ hurt a teenager, Ste wished he could tell him, wished he could shout it out and just accept the consequences, maybe Declan would take _his_ side.

He didn’t say anything though, not when Declan asked if he was okay, not when they were leaving the house, or in the car ride to the school, he didn’t even stop and wait for Declan to get out of the car before walking away, losing himself in a daze of apathy as he headed for his first class, one of the only academic ones he actually shared with his mates. He sat at the back of the school science lab, kicked his bag against the solid table base despite being told not to, and rested his chin in his hand whilst the rest of the class filtered in around him, Declan sitting to his right and Amy to his left. He thought it would annoy him, having them there when he needed them away, but instead he just stared at the front of the classroom, letting chatter of students and teacher rise into cacophonous noise, thick and unintelligible as he quietly detached and shut down.

“Ste?” dully he realised someone was talking to him, repeating his name over and over, another voice joined in, then a final one, a woman’s concerned, slightly posh tone being the first one to break through,

“Ste are you feeling okay?” he blinked stupidly and his eyes focussed on their science teacher,

“Huh?” he grunted,

“You don’t look too well, do you need to see the nurse?” she asked kindly, expression full of concern,

“You know… I think I do… I really don’t feel very well…” Ste lied, putting on his best ‘I’m poorly feel sorry for me’ face, which did the trick because he was soon handed a slip of pink paper explaining he was ill and needed to see Nurse Nolan.

He tried not to look too thrilled as he left the science building and headed for the nurse’s office, dragging his feet and biting back a smirk as he crossed the school grounds; he knocked when he got there, waiting patiently for some kind of answer, after a minute the door opened and the warm, kind face of the school nurse greeted him with a sympathetic smile.

“Oh no, not you again,” she joked that northern Irish tone that Ste liked, he had come to the nurse’s office a number of times in the past, pulling sickies to get out of PE so he didn’t have to risk people seeing his bruises, he had an odd camaraderie with Nurse Nolan at this point, even to the point of knowing her first name was Lynsey, though he always felt weird calling her that.

“Hiya,” he gave a weak smile, “not feelin’ well, got sent from science,” he handed her the slip and she let him into the comfy little office she had, one end was a sitting area for her patients to sit and sulk, the other was more clinical and had her desk, Ste sat down next to the desk when told and Lynsey sat down opposite him.

“What seems to be the problem?” she asked,

“I just really feel sick… an’ I’m dead tired, I can’t sleep lately, can’t focus or owt…” he was embellishing his symptoms a little bit, looking anywhere but at her, spotting a framed picture on her desk and cocking his head to the side.

The picture was of her and a man, hugging and grinning, it wasn’t a strange thing to have on your work desk for sure, people always had pictures of their loved ones and their family, but Ste _recognised_ the man in the photo with alarming clarity, had seen him rubbing up against Brendan like he was in heat or something, had been _insulted_ by the guy. Lynsey had a picture of her and _Eoghan_ on her desk, and Ste was wondering if maybe they were together or something, and that she’d been cheated on; he could try to convince himself it was concern for _her_ , but really he just wanted Eoghan to get in trouble, a stupid spark of jealousy despite how much he would rather hate Brendan right now.

He answered her questions as she puzzled over him, doing his best to look downtrodden and tired, which wasn’t exactly hard, it was practically his default setting these days, or it had been before Brendan, and now it felt like it would be again,

“Maybe we should call home, get someone to pick you up, you really don’t seem like you’re going to cope with your lessons,” she smiled but seemed sad,

“That sounds good… Uhm… Can I ask a question?” he asked after a pause, he was still staring at the picture, “Who’s that?” he pointed at Eoghan, knowing full well who he was but wanting details.

“Oh that? That’s my brother Eoghan,” her expression was warm as she looked at the photo, “he’s actually visiting at the moment,” she noted,

“Oh cool… I guess you’re the pretty one then,” he chuckled, earning a look from Lynsey,

“ _Ste_ , thank you, but you and I both know you’re gay,” she tutted, shaking her head at him,

“Shouldn’t believe all the rumours you hear miss,” Ste joked, “Even if it _was_ me who started that one,” he laughed after before sinking back into looking sick,

“Well either way, Eoghan’s a bit old for you, don’t you think?” she lifted an eyebrow at him,

“Ew, god I’d never,” Ste cringed, he wasn’t Ste’s type in the first place, but even if he had been, seeing him all over Brendan would have turned him right off,

“Good,” she chuckled, “I’ll call home now,” she turned to her computer to get Ste’s details, picking up the phone and dialling. Ste sat and fidgeted as Lynsey talked on the phone, trying to look ill and pathetic, ready for when Terry came to pick him up, as that’s who it sounded like she was talking to.

Lynsey finished on the phone and turned to him, “Your step-dad is coming to pick you up soon, he’s just got to sort some things out at work,” she explained, Ste slumped where he sat, knowing that interrupting Terry’s workday wasn’t going to benefit him.

“Nurse Nolan?” he prompted quietly, wondering if he could snag some advice whilst he was here, fidgeting uncomfortably when she looked at him,

“Ste how many times have I asked you to call me Lynsey?” she asked, Ste frowning,

“A few, jus’ feels weird is all…” he shrugged, Lynsey gave him a warm smile and touched his arm,

“What’s on your mind Ste?” she asked softly, her concern and kindness unnerved him and he bottled it,

“Doesn’t matter…” he was going to mention Brendan, not specifically of course, just that he liked someone, and he’d thought maybe they liked him too, and that things had turned really bad, but instead he said nothing, shrugging and curling in on himself.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, don’t you? It’ll stay between us,” she promised, but Ste had his doubts, if he brought up anything to do with fooling around with a _grown man_ or getting the shit kicked out of him by that man or his step-dad, she’d be legally obliged to report it to the police,

“Thanks…” he sighed, pushing from the chair and opting to sulk in the corner, waiting for Lynsey to get the call to say Terry had arrived at the front office.

 

The phone rang and Ste jumped out of his skin, having started to doze against the back of the sofa, forgetting where he was; Lynsey answered the phone, talking briefly before hanging up and standing,  
“Your step-dad’s here, come on,” she urged, tucking an arm around Ste as he stood, just giving him some physical support as he realised how thoroughly _drained_ he felt. They headed to the front office and Terry was waiting for him, pacing briskly and stopping when Ste and Lynsey walked through the door, “Mr Hay,” Lynsey greeted, “I’d recommend a lot of rest, he’s barely on his feet,” she explained, Terry nodding and forcing a smile,

“Course, how you feeling son?” Terry asked, Ste never liked it when Terry called him son, it always preceded an outburst from the man, but they were in public, _school_ no less, so Terry wouldn’t lay a hand on him outside of holding the back of his neck and guiding him out to the car. His grasp was tight enough to hurt, fingers digging into Ste’s neck until he pushed him down into the car like he’d arrested him, rounding to the other side and sitting down, “So what is this? Hangover?” Terry asked as he pulled out of the car park,

“No?” Ste frowned, wondering why he went to that, “I’ve not drank owt,” he added,

“Well I wouldn’t know that would I, since me and your mum have had no idea where you’ve been all night,” his voice grew stern and Ste winced,

“I sent mam a text…” he mumbled,

“You should’ve been at home!” Terry snapped, “Your mum’s been worried sick about you, and you’ve been out galavantin’ like it’s nothin’, gettin’ into who knows what kind of trouble,” he ranted,

“Well if mam’d check her fuckin’ phone…” he grumbled, but Terry heard him, hand finding the back of Ste’s head and cracking him down on the dashboard. Ste let out a yelp of pain and recoiled into himself, cradling his nose and wiping his nostrils in a hunt for blood, there was no nosebleed, but he saw in the mirror that the skin had split on the bridge, deep enough to well with blood that trickled down the side of his nose.

“Don’t you _dare_ bad mouth your mum like that, you stupid little arsehole,” Terry spat, “Just wait til I get you home,” he didn’t need to finish, Ste knew what was going to happen, curling against the door and trying not to sob into his cupped hands as blood wet his fingers. Ste cowered as Terry continued to mutter to himself about how worthless Ste was, as if he needed more of an excuse to dole out punishment to the teen. He’d already been called everything under the sun by Terry, a worthless waste of space wasn’t exactly new or hurtful, but his nose was feeling swollen and he realised he was squinting, eyes puffed up and sore from his collision with the dashboard. He touched his fingers to it, swiping blood away and trying to feel for a lump that wasn’t just swelling, thankfully finding none; he hissed at his own touch, letting out a quiet ‘ow’, which Terry reacted angrily to,

“Smarts does it? Well it better, you complain an’ I’ll give you another,” he warned,

“You could’ve broken my nose…” Ste mumbled, sounding nasal from the swelling,

“I will in a minute,” Terry warned, reaching out again as a warning, laughing when Ste flinched.

 

Ste didn’t say another word for the rest of the car journey, the cut on his nose stopped bleeding and he adjusted to his slightly narrowed field of vision, but the trepidation caused by the lashing he knew he was going to receive hummed under his skin like electricity, a level of anxiety that had him feeling queasy. He silently prayed that his lack of food would go over in his favour, he’d been sick once before during a beating, hit too hard and couldn’t hold his stomach, it didn’t bare thinking about what he’d gotten for _that_ mess.

His stomach lurched as the car stopped outside the house, staying sat and hugging himself protectively as Terry left the car, wincing when the man opened the passenger door and stared down at him,

“Get out of the car son,” he said flatly, Ste shrinking as he grabbed his bag and hauled himself from the car, trying to look as small as possible, as if it would help the situation, “Get inside, now,” Terry dismissed and Ste followed his instruction, unlocking the front door with shaky fingers. A hard smack to his shoulder had him tripping over the step and into the hallway, he regained his footing quickly and made a break for the stairs, dropping to all fours as he climbed the steps and going almost completely limp when he felt Terry’s hand on the back of his blazer,

“Please,” he sagged against the stairs and looked downright pathetic when he was turned onto his back, closing his teary eyes and turning his head a fraction to the side, bracing himself for the impact of a fist.

“You fuck off all night, worryin’ your mum sick, and then you have the gall to pull _me_ out of work to pick your sorry arse up because you’re _ill_? You’re not ill, you’re _skiving_ ,” he kept his eyes closed, lashes wet with tears and fingers digging into the carpet for support, wishing the stairs would swallow him whole as Terry continued to berate him, “I always knew you were thick, didn’t think you’d realise it yourself and give up,” he laughed, “not sure why I’m surprised.”

“M’not thick,” Ste sniffled, biting his tongue soon after and regretting it when Terry tapped his jaw to turn his head and punched him square in the nose, the crunch and the spurt of blood down his face had him biting down _hard_ on his tongue, his mouth flooding with blood to match the torrent on his face. He did everything he could to swallow it down, it made his stomach roll and he felt even sicker than he had before, but he swallowed that down too, it was bad enough that his nose was bleeding, if he spat up too Terry would kill him.

He barely heard Terry correcting him, insulting him over and over before his hand curled into the front of his school shirt, dragging him to his feet, holding him in place as he lay into Ste’s stomach the way Brendan had, only there was no gentleness in the fingers that soon shifted to dig into his neck, no wish that Ste hadn’t pushed him to do this, only the slam of fist against bruised muscle and ribs threatening to crack. Terry laid into him, blow after blow to ribs and stomach, and Ste couldn’t hold his gob full of blood, drooling it down his front to add to the mess on his shirt that had come from the nosebleed.

Terry relented at the sight of it, if shoving Ste onto his ass on the stairs could be called that, looking at Ste with a familiar vehemence, the kind that said Terry wasn't done with him, would _never_ be done with him.

"Wise up and learn your damned lesson son, if you _ever_ try to pull one over on me like that again, pull me out of _work_ because _you_ can’t be arsed to sit through lessons, you'll regret it... Now get the hell out of my sight!" He spat and Ste spared a quiet apology before dragging himself upstairs to the bathroom, where he collapsed on the ground and spat a few mouthfuls of blood into the toilet before retching and emptying his stomach.

He stayed there for a while, just resting his cheek on his forearm as he hugged the bowl, blood dripping from his swollen nose, squinting painfully at the crimson water and barely even registering it, not even moving when he heard footsteps, he knew Terry would probably have gone back to work, so it was just his mum.

“Ste? What’re you doin’ home?” she asked,

“Sick…” he thought his voice echoed a little in the bowl, laughing slightly and wishing he hadn’t when his new injuries all throbbed in unison,

“Oh…” his mum let out, and Ste realised he should probably look at her, show her what Terry had done to her son; so sluggishly he pushed himself into sitting up, turning a downright pathetic look her way and watching the colour drain from her face. She didn’t say anything about it though, looking away guiltily and growing antsy, “I’ll be downstairs if you need me,” she said, as if she hadn’t seen Ste’s bloody face, the busted nose and the blackening eyes, he hadn’t expected her to acknowledge it, watching in disgust as she turned her back on her _son_ , leaving him to fester on the bathroom floor.

He pulled himself together slowly, flushing the toilet as he stood and heading for the sink, seeing his puffed up mess of a face in the mirror and feeling the tears come back, it was worse than he’d had before, he’d never really _looked_ beaten at a glance, but this looked _awful_. He barely even recognised himself under the fat, bloody nose and the purpling bruises that caused him to squint uncomfortably, the cut from hitting the dashboard had split further and was weeping still.  Tentatively, he stuck out his tongue to inspect the damage there, it was stained bright red, with deep furrows where his teeth had broken through the tissue of the muscle, it hurt more now he’d seen it. The tears stung as they fell and he began to wipe away the blood with shaking hands, trying not to look down at the mess his shirt and tie were, thankful he had a spare of each. As he cleaned himself up, he found himself growing bitterly grateful that Terry had lost his composure enough to hit him in the face, not even _Terry_ was stupid enough to send him to school looking _this_ bad, so he at least had a couple of days where he wouldn’t need to make excuses to stay away from his friends, maybe he’d swindle a week out of it.

 

He was right about the week off, Terry called him in sick _personally_ , going off on one when the school asked if he’d gotten a doctor’s note after he’d allegedly taken Ste to diagnose his ‘stomach bug’, shouting about how he shouldn’t have to waste money on a piece of paper for the school to accept that Ste was ill. He spent half of his time playing xbox, making sure to ‘forget’ the neighbour’s wifi password so he wouldn’t get caught out; the other half of his time he spent around his mother, he didn’t want the company, could have done without it, but he wanted her to _see_ him, to look at him and really see what her precious husband continued to do to her son. She never did though, not directly, always a sideways glance or staring past him, taking in the mess he remained even over a week later, when he still hadn’t gone back to school, he wanted to scream at her to help him, to get off her ass and _do_ something, but he realised that she _was_ doing something, she was drinking during the day again.

The first can she cracked open that morning had Ste on his feet and heading for his room again, but he was stopped by a knock on the door, about to head and answer it when Terry, not at work that Saturday, shoved him back into the living room and told him to sit his ass down. He obeyed, sitting close to the door so he could hear whatever was going on that had Terry near frantic to get him out of the way, he cringed when he heard their voices though.

“Hi is Ste home?” Irish lilt in full effect, Declan sounded standoffish, reluctant to be there, which meant Amy was likely in tow,

“He’s not been in school for a while and hasn’t answered our texts,” Amy piped up, he’d gotten their texts and ignored them, hoping they’d take the hint and leave him alone,

“He’s sick,” Terry said flatly, “Doctors gave us a prescription, keep him on that, keep him rested, he doesn’t need you two gettin’ him all _excited_ ,” he dismissed and Ste felt horridly guilty, could just imagine the disappointment on their faces.

“Oh… do you know when he’ll be back at school?” Amy asked,

“No,”

“Well can you tell him we stopped by?” Declan tried, getting a noncommittal response from Terry before the two were ushered away. Ste couldn’t help himself, kneeling on his seat and moving the net curtain to peek outside, watching as Amy and Declan walked to the end of the path together, ducking a little too slowly when one of them looked around, he noticed the frown on Declan’s face as he dropped the curtain, he could still see through the netting just not as well. He knew he’d been spotted, knew that Declan had probably seen he was still black around the eyes, probably even noticed the plaster he had over his still slightly swollen, not quite broken nose; a shadow cast over him as he sat there and he let out a miserable sigh, knowing who was stood behind him,

“I’m sorry,” he said instinctively, expecting a beating, instead getting hauled off the chair and dragged into the hallway, glancing at his mum who just focussed harder on Jeremy Kyle, sipping at her can of lager. He was thrown at the stairs, landing on hands and knees and looking back at Terry,

“Get up there and stay up there, you’re _sick_ remember? _You’re_ the one who got sent home for it,” he scolded, “don’t come down unless I tell you,” he snapped and Ste glumly climbed the stairs, opting to try and sleep the rest of the day away instead of gaming, because that was the _last_ thing he felt like doing right then.

 

He was unfortunately back in school that Monday, wishing there was a way to stop Declan from hunting him down during lunch,

“Ste!” Declan called over and Ste didn’t move; he was sat hugging his knees at the far end of the school field, out of sight of the majority of the school, it was his bunk off spot and Declan knew it’d be where he’d spent his entire morning, “I’d heard you were back but hadn’t seen you… you look like shit,” he commented as he got close enough to see the dark under Ste’s eyes and the plaster he still had across the gash on his nose.

“Leave me alone…” he let out weakly, he didn’t want to push him away, it was so hard and he _needed_ his friends then, he needed them to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that Terry was wrong in the head, that it was just _Terry._ But he knew it wasn’t, because it had been _Brendan_ too, and the memory of Brendan touching him, being so kind to him, then hitting him, it crushed him to the point where he had to rest his forehead on his arms to hide the tears that threatened to fall.

“Mate, c’mon just talk to me,” Declan pleaded, crouching down next to Ste and touching his shoulder, Ste shrugged him off and looked up at him, trying to muster as much venom as he could,

“Fuck off,” he spat, shoving Declan onto his ass so he didn’t have to see the look of sheer heartbreak on the other teen’s face. He hid his face again and cowered, praying that Declan would just leave,

“Ste don’t be like that…” Declan let out quietly, “He’s hitting you again,” it wasn’t a question, Declan wasn’t stupid and it was pretty obvious Ste hadn’t had a stomach bug for the past week and a half,

“No…” Ste mumbled, “Dec leave it, just leave me alone alright?” he was pleading now, he hated himself for it but ignoring him hadn’t worked and he couldn’t convince himself to be cruel to the other boy.

“I’m not an eejit Ste, he’s hurtin’ you again an’ you _swore_ you’d tell me if he did,” Declan gritted out,

“This ain’t about you Dec,” he mumbled, he’d thought he could’ve been harsher but he couldn’t bring himself to do it,

“I never said it was! You need to tell someone, you _need_ to get help cause he’s not gonna stop,” Declan protested, “You’re my best mate, I just wanna _help_ you,”

“He _is_ gonna stop,” Ste lied, a sudden stroke of genius hitting him harder than Terry ever could, “He said he would…”

“An’ you believe him?” Declan looked appalled, and Ste knew he was right to feel that way,

“You _know_ , an’ he _knows_ you know,” he whispered,

“Then he should stop, cause I’ll tell someone,” Declan looked ready to whip his phone out and do it then and there, but he didn’t, waiting for Ste’s response,

“He’ll only stop if you leave us well alone, so I can’t see you anymore,” the lie felt wrong on his tongue but it was a good one, flawless even,

“That’s bullshit Ste an’ you know it,” Declan huffed,

“What if it ain’t Dec? What if he _does_ stop?” Ste spat back, “an’ what if he doesn’t an’ it’s cause you didn’t listen to me,” he wanted to die the moment Declan realised Ste was throwing blame his way, the moment he saw that look of sheer agonising realisation and _guilt_ ,

“Jesus… you… you really think…” Declan let out, “Alright… but if he doesn’t stop… if he doesn’t stop please tell me, don’t make me do this while you’re gettin’ hurt…” he hadn’t expected Declan to come round to it so easily, but was grateful that he did, exhaling tiredly and letting his head hang low. He felt Declan shift closer and wrap an arm around him,  
“Dec…” he said, about to tell Declan to go,

“Just… til the end of break alright? I’ll go after, I’ll leave you alone… Amy will too…” he promised, pressing his face to the back of Ste’s shoulder, just wanting to be close to his best friend. Ste let out a shaky sigh, resting his cheek on his arm and looking away from Declan, guilt and shame gnawing at him worse than the pain of his injuries ever could. They sat there in absolute silence after that and Ste wished he could take it all back, but Brendan’s threats lingered in the back of his mind, working their way through him and making him feel cold and closed off. When lunch ended, Declan reluctantly peeled himself from Ste’s side and stood, not even asking if Ste was going to class, he knew he wasn’t, so he just gave him one last forlorn look before turning tail and running from the field. Ste finally let himself break down then, burying his face in his arms and crying, he needed Declan more than ever and he’d just had to turn him away, all because he fucked up and tried it on with his best mate’s _dad_ , he didn’t think he could hate himself any more than he did then.

 

He was still sat there when school finished, didn’t bother moving at all even though he knew it’d be a pain in the ass to get out of the school grounds if he stopped too long, but he honestly didn’t care, he felt hollow, like he’d lost everything important to him in a matter of weeks. He was starting to suspect he wasn’t going to survive his teens, sinking into a horrid consuming mental state as he sat there, wishing he could just stop existing.

He startled when his phone chirped, reluctantly pulling it out, expecting it to be a message from Declan, going back on his word already because he cared too much, but he didn’t recognise the number. He opened the text, frowning at the words on the screen.

 _‘You need to talk to Declan, he’s worried sick about you. –B’_ His stomach churned as he read the text, not because of the content, though that was one hell of a kick to read mere hours after he’d finally convinced Declan to leave him alone, but because of who it was clearly from. B, Brendan, Declan’s father, the man who had assaulted him had somehow gotten a hold of his phone number. He couldn’t imagine Declan giving Brendan his number without a good reason, and Declan didn’t go anywhere without his phone either in hand or in his pocket, not even to the toilet, so Brendan couldn’t have copied it from there.

It was scary, trying to imagine how someone could get his number so easily, and it was scarier that it was Brendan who had done it, the same Brendan who had threatened him to stay away from Declan, and was now telling him to reach out again, toying with him like some kind of puppet master, pulling Ste’s strings without any regard to how _Ste_ felt about it all.

 _‘Uv got 2 b kiddin me_ ’ he sent quickly, continuing with angry presses of his thumbs on the screen, tears blurring his vision _‘u cant jst xpect me 2 drop everythin n jump cos u sed so ryt. Tht’s bullshit, I’m not doin ANYTHIN 4 u until u tell me WHY u hit me. Y hit ME? Wot did I do 2 diserve this? 1 st my stepdad n now u 2, gimme a fuckin brake_’ he hit send and his stomach dropped, realising what he’d just done, hurriedly thumbing in an apology and pleading with Brendan to ignore that text, that he’d do whatever it was he wanted him to do if he just ignored it. He hit send once more and sniffled as he stared at the phone, waiting for a response. His phone chirped and the response confused him,

‘ _Don’t make me ask twice Steven –B’_ the phone chirped twice more and ‘message not sent’ appeared in the time stamps for his texts, along with a message from his provider, notifying him he was out of credit.

“Christ…” he let out, falling onto his back and sobbing in relief.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't actually think I was going to finish this on time because on Wednesday on my way home from work I got into an accident on my bike and have really screwed up my left arm, so typing hurts like a bitch. Thank you all so much for the fantastic comments, I'm really glad you're all enjoying the fic and I really hope this chapter is up to scratch. I'm pretty happy with a lot of it but there are parts that feel rushed or a little vague... but I guess that's because some of it is... Anywho, I'm going to apologise for the emotional roller coaster this fic is becoming. Enjoy!

He didn't act on Brendan's text, he didn't have to, because his lie fell through of its own volition the moment he stepped through the door Tuesday afternoon, spotting the photocopy of a U grade English mock _nailed_ to the wall by the stairs, along with the torn envelope and crumpled letter on the table beneath it, next to the phone.

"Fancy explainin' that?" Terry asked, Ste didn't get a chance to answer, ending up in his room shortly after with a split lip, a fresh bruise, and a bloody nose where the deep gash from before had opened up under the sheer force of Terry's lone blow to his mouth.

Declan tracked him down at the end of school the day after, intent on dragging him to football practice whether he wanted to go or not, so suffice to say, when he saw the split, slightly swollen lip, and the bruising that darkened cheek and mouth, Declan had to disregard Ste’s desire to be left alone in its entirety.

"You said if we stop talking he'd stop thumpin'," Declan pointed out when Ste tried to sulk off home, "so we're goin to footie practice cause we've got a game next week an' we need our captain to actually _find out_ he's captain," he added with a smile, he clearly hoped the good news would warm Ste to it, but Ste was all but impassive, too tired and worn out to care about something he’d wanted for ages,

"Fine..." he sighed, "But I'm not playin..." he tagged on quickly,

"Was gonna suggest you not," Declan shrugged, “You look rough…” he sighed,

“I feel it…” was Ste’s quiet response, “I’m so tired Dec… I just… I wish it’d stop… I _do_ … but I don’t want to cause trouble…” he turned his gaze to the ground, he was sure he wasn’t _just_ talking about Terry as he spoke, “An’ if it falls through, if nowt happens… then I’m stuck with ‘im ain’t I,”

“Do you want to tell Hutch-o or someone?” Declan asked, “we can tell him after practice if you want,” Ste shook his head, Coach Hutchinson had helped him a lot in the past, him roping Ste into being on the football team was one of the reasons Ste wasn’t an obnoxious little shit in class any more, channelling Ste’s acting out into something productive that he was surprised to find he excelled at. But despite their history, Ste couldn’t talk to him about this, he’d already brushed off some uncomfortable questioning when he first joined the team, he didn’t think he’d be able to fess up that there _was_ trouble at home.

“Not the Coach,” he said as they walked, as if he was actually considering telling someone about what happened, he’d sort of talked about it with Amy before but had bottled it after saying ‘I’m going to, I promise’ about forty times, Amy had stopped asking him about it after seeing how hard it was for him.

“Maybe we can tell my da,” Declan suggested and Ste had to shove his hands in his pockets to hide the way he’d started shaking as the panic and fear coursed through him, his chest felt like his ribcage was trying to suffocate him and he was struggling to hide his need for gasping breaths, trying to calm himself down enough to tell Declan they couldn’t.

“No,” he gasped quietly, Declan looking over at him and frowning, eyes widening when he saw the state Ste was suddenly in,

“Jaysus Ste are you alright?” Declan rounded on him and held his shoulder, trying to get Ste to meet his gaze but Ste was looking around almost frantic, “Ste, okay look at me mate, breathe with me yeah?” Ste looked at him, watching as Declan motioned the pattern of his breathing, in, out, in, out, he copied shakily and pulled his hands from his pockets to touch Declan’s forearm, linking his fingers over his wrist and just holding. “Forget it okay, you don’t need to tell anyone til you’re ready,” Declan promised and Ste felt his breathing get easier, “my da would probably just batter him anyway,” he joked, smile faltering when Ste began shaking his head and clung to his wrist tighter, feeling his lungs tighten painfully at the thought of _that_ side of Brendan, even if it _was_ aimed at Terry. “Shit I was jokin’ Ste it’s okay nobody is tellin’ anyone okay?” once again he started motioning breathing and Ste tried to copy, letting out a sob and hauling himself closer to Declan, hugging him tight and burying his face in the other lad’s shoulder. He felt Declan squeeze him, holding him tight and resting his cheek against Ste’s ear, hands soon rubbing soothing circles into Ste’s back, grounding him into feeling something like _normal_ again. They eased apart and Declan’s hands moved to hold Ste’s face, Ste gave him a weak smile and Declan offered a sympathetic one in kind, “I’m proud of you mate, panic attacks are scary,” he spoke like he had personal knowledge of the issue,

Ste had never experienced that kind of panic before, never felt like his lungs were collapsing in on themselves, it was _terrifying_ , and to think Declan had gone through that enough to know how to handle it if it happened to someone else, it made his smile fade.

“Are you guys gonna start mackin’ cause if y’are I’m gonna keep walkin’,” came a familiar Scottish voice,

“Fuck off Joel,” Declan huffed, withdrawing his hands and stuffing them into his pockets, Ste couldn’t help but notice that he looked embarrassed, shaking his head and turning to Joel, who’s smile faltered at the sight of him,

“didn’t mean t’offend,” Joel said defensively, hands up, “just glad to know I’m not the on’y one runnin’ late,” he shrugged, Declan cursing and marching off, “is he alright?” Joel asked, Ste shrugged, not sure where that little mood came from,  
“we’d best go…” he grumbled, adjusting his bag on his shoulder and wiping his eyes, realising they were a little wet even though he was sure he hadn’t _actually_ cried.

 

Ste headed straight for the field when Joel and Declan headed for the changing rooms, Coach Hutchinson spotted him sitting on the sidelines and headed over,

“Ste!” he greeted, sounding thrilled that Ste had shown up, “Good to see you back on your feet,” he beamed, sitting down next to him and clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks, not quite there yet though,” he admitted apologetically, curling in on himself,

“Getting there though,” Hutchinson smiled, “I don’t know if the lads could keep it hushed but I gave them a bit of news the other day,” he started, “about the permanent replacement captain,” Ste looked up at him then, trying to look interested, but he just felt _tired_. “Well I came to the decision a while ago, I’m sure you can see where this is going Ste, congratulations,” he grinned, fishing a strip of fabric from his tracksuit pocket and smoothing it out before handing it to Ste, it was a black and white band with ‘CAPTAIN’ embroidered on it. Ste forced a smile,

“Thanks,” he mumbled, “I feel bad though… I’m not really fit for it,” he sighed, running his fingers over the lettering,

“You don’t think you’ll be ready for the game next week?” he asked, Ste shook his head,

“No, but I deffo wanna be there,” he nodded, anything to prevent him going home for a little longer, and not even Terry could tell him not to go support a football team.

“I’m glad to hear _that_ at least,” Hutchinson squeezed his arm, “Now, you want to explain the lip?” he asked, a sympathetic look on his face, Ste looked away guiltily,

“Oh you know… neighbourhood kids… arseholes…” he mumbled, tired of lying but unable to really do anything else.

“Just neighbourhood kids?” Hutchinson asked, he always pushed for more but Ste never gave, insisting it was just kids, or it was just an accident, or he was clumsy, queer bashing, _anything_ but ‘it’s my step-dad’, and he supposed this time he could point the finger elsewhere, but he’d never do that to Declan, wouldn’t want to break his heart by shattering this image he had of his father. He sighed miserably and slid the armband on his wrist to fiddle with one-handed, not looking up at Hutchinson as he gave a little nod, “Okay,” and like that he left it, and that stung a bit even if Ste didn’t _want_ him to push and get a confession out of him.

The lads emerged from the locker room having a laugh and everyone was soon cheering their congratulations to Ste, and the smile on his face started feeling less and less forced, watching as his team, _his_ team, practiced for the upcoming friendlies.

He wasn’t sure when he’d spaced out thinking about the text from Brendan, but he had, staring off into space and wondering if maybe he should work on things with Declan properly or try to dissuade him from sticking around. He was scared of Brendan, that was for sure, but the best way to keep out of Brendan’s path was to keep away from _Declan_ , but Brendan had told him not to… and using Terry as an excuse obviously hadn’t worked, because he’d forgotten about that stupid fucking exam result, he was clueless though, he didn’t know who to listen to, who to befriend, who to push away, where to curl up and die because he was just so _sick_ of his life being this much of a disaster.

 

“You keep frownin’ you’re gonna get stuck like that,” Declan interrupted his thoughts and plonked down next to him, shoulder to shoulder, nudging him and giving him a smile when his eyes actually focussed on the world again,

“Oh well, not like anyone’d care,” Ste laughed bitterly,

“I’d care,” Declan mumbled, “I mean, I don’t wanna be stuck lookin’ at your miserable face, cheer up,” he tagged on easily,

“Shurrup,” Ste laughed, elbowing him,

“Mate I’ve had a spark yeah, don’t go home tonight,” Declan piped up, pulling his phone from the armband he had on,

“I’ve got to, Terry fucked me up last time I stopped out all night…” Ste whispered, surprised at how openly he said it, even if it _was_ just to Declan.

“No I mean… don’t go home at all,” Declan reiterated, “Come stay at mine,” Ste felt panic building in his chest at the thought of being under the same roof as Brendan again, and this time on a more permanent basis, “I’m gonna call me mam,” he thumbed at his phone and Ste sank back in relief, even if Eileen had _opinions_ about him, he’d prefer her stiff hospitality to Brendan’s. He watched on as Declan rang home, still fiddling with his captain armband as Declan spoke to his mum, “Heya mam, I was wonderin’, could my mate come over to stay for a few days? Things are a bit tense at home an’ I’m worried about him,” he explained and Ste cringed, it wasn’t an outright explanation of Ste’s home life but it was enough to make him uncomfortable with her knowing. “Yeah it’s Ste… doesn’t matter I guess, he can bunk with me, I don’t mind… mam please… mam… mam?” he pulled the phone from his ear and looked at it, “she fuckin’ hung up on me?” he frowned and Ste sighed,

“Worth a try mate,” he smiled apologetically, like it was his fault Eileen had said no, and to be honest, it probably was.  
“No mate just come over, when she sees the state yer in she’ll let you stay,”

“It’s fine, really, I’ll go home… keep me head down… I’ll be okay,” he assured, but Declan looked upset,

“We could try my da? I really don’t like the idea of you goin’ home when he’s bein’ like that over nothing…” Declan suggested but Ste shook his head,

“Don’t bother…” he sighed, sounding more miserable than he meant to,

“Did somethin’ happen?” Declan asked with a frown, “You used to be well excited about seein’ my da,” he teased, but Ste looked uncomfortable, “Ste? Mate what happened?” his concern made Ste want to panic but he tried to keep calm, digging his short nails into his palms,

“Nothin’ happened…” he lied, but Declan mistook his discomfort for disappointment,

“Oh… I’m sorry mate…” Declan gave him a nudge, “I figured at some point he’d stop the whole flirtin’ thing…” he mumbled, and Ste felt relieved that that was the conclusion he’d come to, “Did you seriously think…” he trailed off,

“I dunno what I thought…” Ste sighed, because he really didn’t, he wanted something from Brendan, thought they could’ve made something of it, even if it _was_ just fucking on the sly.

“Sorry,” Declan repeated,

“Not your fault… I’m the idiot here,” he huffed,

“Maybe you should try finding someone your own age or something?” Declan suggested, voice quiet and unsure, Ste had to laugh,

“Nah… teen lads aren’t exactly lookin’ for a guy with as much baggage as me,” he chuckled, he couldn’t imagine a teenager wanting to put up with all his emotional hang ups, he wasn’t even sure an adult would, he’d had a feeling about Brendan but he couldn’t have been more wrong there.

“You never know…” Declan hummed, Ste glancing over to see the pensive look on Declan’s face,

“Suppose…” he answered just as quiet,

“Anyway you shouldn’t be so down on yourself, you’re top!” Declan perked up then and his smile was infectious, Ste warming up and elbowing him playfully, Declan’s eyes softened and the way he was looking at Ste felt nice, like things weren’t all bad, that someone out there did care about him. Declan’s cheeks reddened and he looked down quickly, Ste getting embarrassed on principle even if he wasn’t sure why,

“Thanks…” he smiled down at his hands, pulling the arm band from his wrist and turning it over a few times, “Can’t believe this…” he mused aloud, Declan took the band from him after a second, looking it over,

“I’m glad it’s you,” Declan insisted, “You’re the best of us,” he added,

“Not really,”

“Would you be captain if you weren’t?” Ste thought so, in his mind the captain knew the game and knew his team’s strengths, that didn’t make him the best player, but he just shrugged, not willing to argue with Declan so soon after they’d had that weird minor hiccup in their friendship. “Are you sure you won’t go to my da’s? It can’t be _that_ awkward can it?”

“I’m sure, I’ll be fine at home…”  
“I don’t like you goin’ back there, you know that,” Declan huffed,

“I’ll be fine,” he insisted,

“You always say that an’ you always come back with more bruises…” Declan sighed, sounding bitter,

“Aright get off my back Dec,” Ste snapped, “I can take care of myself,” he added hastily,

“I’m startin’ to doubt that…” Declan grumbled under his breath but Ste heard anyway, snatching his armband back and shoving Declan across the bench, “Oi!”

“Fuck off Dec, arsehole…” he huffed,

“Ste I didn’t mean that,” Declan backpedalled,  
“Sounded like you did…” Ste turned so his back was partially to Declan,

“I’m just worried about you alright?” Declan’s hand was on Ste’s shoulder and Ste shrugged it off, “Mate please,”

“Leave off Dec, just… drop the Terry thing, drop the movin’ in with you thing, just… why can’t you just leave me alone?” Declan opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it,

“You’re just angry… it’s okay…” he sighed, defeated, “I gotta get back anyway…” Ste felt riddled with guilt as Declan pushed off of the bench and jogged back onto the field, he hadn’t meant to snap at him but what Declan had said had hurt, he was just glad he’d resisted his first urge to throw his fist and snap after that.

 

Declan avoided him after that, but Amy sure as hell didn’t, somehow managing to catch him at about 8pm when he was at the corner shop getting necessities like bread and milk because Terry was playing poker with the lads from work and his mum was passed out on the couch, so they wouldn’t be doing it, though he’d probably get shit for raiding his mum’s purse for the fiver he used.

“Ste what is _wrong_ with you?” she asked as he walked out of the shop, jumping out of his skin at the sudden noise of an irate teenage girl,

“Huh?” he grunted, “Christ Amy I almost crapped meself,” he grumbled, pressing his hand to the seat of his pants as if to make a point,

“Well? How could you talk to Declan like that?” she asked, Ste rolling his eyes, of _course_ he told her he’d snapped at him,

“Leave off Ames…” he sighed,

“No, you were an ass and you owe him an apology,” she insisted,

“If he wasn’t raggin’ on me about how I can’t look after myself I wouldn’t have had to snap at him,” he seethed, he didn’t think it was fair that _he_ was the one getting stick for being an asshole here,

“Ste he _cares_ about you, _I_ care about you, it’s really hard for us to just stand by whilst you’re getting hurt,” she said this quieter, sidling up to Ste and linking arms with him whether he wanted to or not, Ste bit his tongue, he didn’t need to shout at her too, she knew it was harder for him, there was no need to rub her face in it,

“Just leave it,” he tried again, letting her walk with him,

“I can’t, my two best friends aren’t talking to each other because they’re both dumb boys,” she let out, exasperated, Ste had to laugh at that,

“What’re we doin’ that’s so dumb?”

“Oh I don’t know, being completely oblivious? Not getting things off your chests?” she gave him a knowing look but Ste was oblivious, not sure what it is she knew that could go with those words, there was no way she knew Brendan had touched him.

“Not a clue what you’re on about,” he admitted, and Amy rolled her eyes,

“Is Terry out?” she asked, he nodded, “Know when he’s back?” he shook his head, “Can I come over?”

“Uh… I guess… mam’s in a shit state though…” he stated, lip curling in disgust as he thought about the state his mum had gotten herself into again, probably blamed _him_ for, usually did.

“Oh…” Amy hummed, “Well come on, let’s get home,” she smiled, picking up the pace and half-dragging Ste back to his house.

She helped him put stuff away before they got drinks and headed upstairs, setting up Ste’s room so they could both curl up on his shitty old armchair and watch a couple of films using Amy’s Netflix on the xbox. Ste liked this, sitting behind Amy with his arms around her, resting his head on her shoulder, it used to be something they did when they dated briefly, but it was still comfortable and reassuring now that it was a platonic act. He half dozed off there, forehead pressed against the side of her head as he snored quietly, getting nudged awake by Amy, who was laughing quietly,

“You big dope, wake up, you’ll miss the best bit,” Ste wasn’t even sure what they were watching, some action flick with too many old school action heroes in it for it to even make any sense, he should’ve liked it more, it was his type of film, he was just comfortable and tired and dreaming of an easier time in his life, where things hadn’t been so confusing, and it had just been him and Amy.

That thought made him colour with guilt and he gave her a squeeze, hurt that he’d even _think_ about a world where he’d never met Declan at all,

“Ste? You okay?” Amy asked, she was looking at him and had been for some time,

“Not really…” Ste mumbled, “Will you stop tonight?”

“I’ll have to go get my stuff in the morning,” she said, unsure,

“We can duck out early, avoid Terry and me mam,” he promised, and she agreed then, “was I really that bad to Declan?” he asked,

“You upset him,” Amy sighed, “like _really_ upset him,” she pulled a face then, like it was dire,

“I’m awful… why do you two put up with me?” he gave a miserable look then, beating himself up for being a terrible friend, figuring he was to blame for it all even if half of it _was_ because Brendan was trying to control him.

“Cause we love you, dummy,” Amy teased, earning a smile,

“Glad someone does,” he kissed her cheek then before settling his chin on her shoulder again and looking at the TV, a comfortable silence settling between them after that, the two cosying up and enjoying a few more movies before shutting everything off and heading to bed.

It was strange being in bed with Amy again, he felt awkward at first, like he should have offered to take the chair instead, but Amy told him to stop being an idiot and cuddled up to him under the covers. It took him a while to get to sleep and there had been a major scare when the bedroom door opened and Terry peered in, seeing Ste with a girl in his arms and looking almost impressed before hissing ‘don’t knock her up’ and leaving them alone. After that he relaxed, finally nodding off with Amy pulled close and the reassurance that he wasn’t going to get his ass kicked into next week whilst she was there.

 

Amy stopped the next night too and Ste was reminded of how easy things used to be, sure he still got hell from Terry; but it wasn’t as bad as it was these days, and it didn’t come from outside sources like Brendan. He sighed as he thought of Brendan, he’d dreamt of him last night, dreamt about how things could have been if Ste wasn’t such a horrendous _victim_ , lying against his chest and talking lazily about things he couldn’t quite remember. It just made reality hurt more, realising he still had this deluded fantasy about the man after being hurt by him, it also made him paranoid when his phone chirped during his last class and BB had sent him another text, a brief _‘don’t say no –B’_ that confused the hell out of him, at least until Amy and Declan waved him over in the car park,

“Heya mate,” Declan greeted,

“Dec I’m real sorry about snappin’ at you…” he mumbled guiltily, looking up with a grim expression, Declan just smiled at him,

“It’s fine, you can make it up to me by lettin’ me kick your arse at Forza tonight,” he looked like he was up to something there,

“I don’t have Forza…” Ste frowned, looking at Amy who just shrugged, trying not to grin at him,

“I do, come over,” he insisted, Ste was taken aback, but the text flashed in his mind and he felt conflicted, he’d love to spend time with Declan, to fix things, but with Brendan telling him to be there, he just wasn’t sure.

The decision was taken away from him when Brendan sauntered over from his car, looking between the three of them with a smile,

“Come on you three, let’s get you home,” he offered and his voice sent a conflicted shiver down Ste’s spine, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to run away or jump him, either way he was uncomfortable as hell during the car ride, reluctant to let Amy go when he hugged her outside of the car when they dropped her off.

 

Much to Ste’s relief, Declan shoved him straight towards the stairs as soon as they got to his house, shouting something to his dad that Ste didn’t really pay attention to, heading for Declan’s room and crashing on the couch the second he got the chance, yelping when Declan decided to leap on top of him and use him as a seat.

“Dec gerroff!” he laughed, shoving Declan onto the floor and grinning at him,

“Sit up then you fat ass,” Declan stuck his tongue out after and Ste sat up, expression aghast,

“I’m not fat you nob,” he huffed indignantly, accepting the controller Declan offered him a minute later,

“You so are,” Declan jabbed at Ste’s stomach as he said it,

“You’re the one who sat on _me_ ,” Ste protested, pouting a little,

“Aw I’m sorry, chin up, got some drivin’ to do,” Declan’s expression was mocking but his eyes were warm, and Ste was glad that they were slipping so easily into old habits,

“I _am_ sorry for snapping at you…” he repeated his earlier apology,

“I know, an I’m sorry for talkin’ shit about you, I know you look after yourself I just—“

“Worry, I know,” Ste rolled his eyes as he spoke, thumbing in his password to log into his own gamertag for their game, just so he’d get some achievements if he could.

“I’m allowed to though,” Declan pointed out, “worry about you I mean, you’re my best mate, you’re important to me,” he smiled warmly, shifting to sit shoulder to shoulder with Ste, who smiled back,

“Yeah, I appreciate it, really… have you played this already?” he needed to change the subject, people worrying about him made him uncomfortable as hell,

“Yeah but I won’t use my car,” he promised, starting up a tournament for the two of them to drive in against each other and AI.

They played for a good few hours, stopping briefly for sandwiches which they brought back up and nattered over, dumping their plates on the floor and racing again, eventually calling it quits and sprawling out on the couch, kicking at each other and having a laugh.

“Man I am rank, I’m gonna get a quick shower, you alright here?” Declan asked after taking a rather ungraceful whiff of himself, rolling off of the couch and standing up,

“I’m gettin’ there meself, might head off now,” Ste thumbed at the door, he’d not showered in a few days because of Amy, though he probably could have done what Declan was doing, he just got comfortably lazy around Amy, he’d missed her a lot, had missed Declan too, but at least he’d _talked_ to Declan before his absence,

“Or you could get in w’me,” Declan suggested offhandedly, shrugging off his school shirt and pulling the t-shirt he had underneath up over his head. Ste stared at him, frown set on his features,

“Huh?” he let out finally, “You’re jokin’ right?” Declan looked embarrassed for a moment before puffing his bare chest out a little,

“What if I’m not?” he asked, smile turning flirtatious, Ste’s eyes widened at that,

“Uh… well it’s a little personal innit?” he laughed nervously, Declan shrugged and took a few steps towards Ste,

“Maybe… but that might be the point… you know?” he smiled, “c’mon, what do you think?” he asked, Ste frowned and he stepped closer, “could be nice,” his expression was hopeful and Ste was frozen in place when Declan kissed him, chaste at first, before he pressed another and his hands found Ste’s hips. Ste kissed back automatically, eyes closing for a moment before he realised whose tongue just pushed shyly into his mouth and he pushed Declan away gently,

“Dec…” he realised from the hurt look on Declan’s face that he probably looked terrified, “Mate this is a bit sudden,” he admitted, cheeks darkening as all the hints from the past few _months_ hit him right in the face.

“I guess…” Declan shrugged, “But I really like you Ste…” he dipped his head, embarrassed, “I guess it’s one sided?” he cringed then,

“No! I mean… I dunno! You’re my best mate! I’ve never… you know… _thought_ of you like that…” he babbled, “I need… I need to go home…” he mumbled,

“Oh…” Declan looked completely wounded then,

“Don’t… I’m not sayin’ no…” his words didn’t make sense exactly but Declan knew what he meant and perked up, “Just… I need a bit of time… this… I don’t want this to ruin things… by rushin’ stuff…” he excused lamely, Declan lapped it up though.

“Okay, yeah okay I get it, sure, time, I can give you that…” he nodded to himself, smiling that dopey little smile of his at Ste, it usually made Ste smile but this time he just laughed nervously, “One thing though…” Declan looked like this was taking all the courage he had to do, so Ste nodded a little, “Can I just… can I kiss you again? You know… so you actually know it’s gonna happen this time,” he bit his lip after and Ste wasn’t sure what possessed him to grin and tuck his fingers into Declan’s belt and pull him close, not sure if he wanted this exactly, or if he was just basking in the attention. He tried not to think about it as their lips met again, just enjoying the feel of Declan pressed against him, smiling against his mouth; he hated himself for comparing it to kissing Brendan, the lack of facial hair and aggressive tongue and teeth was so stark, because Declan was gentle and adoring, hands pressed against Ste’s chest as he leant up to close the almost insignificant height difference. It was nice though and he found it hard to tear himself away, but Declan did that for them, “You sure you still wanna go?” he asked, and Ste felt guilt fill him up, but he hid it,

“I think I should… Mam’s on her own tonight…” he lied, watching as Declan pouted a little,

“Ah right… well… I’ll see you in school Monday, yeah?” he eased close and Ste resisted the urge to bolt,

“Yeah,” he smiled, that would be enough time to find a good excuse for this to be a bad idea, an excuse that wouldn’t completely devastate Declan. “I should go call home,” he nodded resolutely, Declan nodded a little back and Ste grabbed his bag and headed for the door, jogging downstairs and fishing his phone from his pocket before realising he was shit out of credit still, so he’d have to find Brendan to ask if he could use the phone.

 

It wasn’t a difficult search, Brendan was sat in the lounge area, looking over some important looking books, a red pen hanging out of his mouth, a black one in his hand as he scribbled something down,

“Hey,” Ste greeted nervously, this was the first time he’d been alone with Brendan since that morning and it was making his throat tighten.

“Where’s Declan?” Brendan asked, glancing at the door like he was expecting his son to jump out and interrupt their privacy,

“He’s gone for a shower…” Ste shrugged, “I’m gonna be goin’ in a bit,” he added,

“You want me to drive you?” Brendan offered, but Ste didn’t want to be alone in a car with him, was uncomfortable enough alone with him _now_ ,

“Nah… but if I could borrow the phone, I’m gonna call me mam an’ ask her to pick me up,” he gestured to the phone on the kitchen counter, “I got no credit,” he’d not topped his phone up after the text from Brendan, half scared that if he did it’d send that angry slew of texts to the man, cause he’d not figured out if he could delete them and he really wasn’t sure he wanted Brendan reading them, ever.

“If you want,” Brendan shrugged, Ste felt eyes on his every move as he passed the kitchen island and went to pick up the phone, thumbing in his home phone number and watching Brendan warily as he held the handset to his ear, waiting.

“ _Hullo?_ ” he grimaced at the sound of his mother’s voice, hearing the wet slurring in her throat and realising she’d been drinking,

“Hey mam…” Ste looked down at the floor, embarrassed by his mum even though Brendan couldn’t hear her,

“ _Ste!_ ” his mum sounded thrilled, but it didn’t count for much, “ _Ste where are you?”_

“I’m at my mate Declan’s, I need a lift home,”

“ _Oh Terry just got back, he says he’ll come get you_ ,” he’d hoped she wouldn’t say that, hoped she’d say she’d been drinking and he’d have to make his own way back, half wishing he’d taken up Brendan on the offer of a lift,

“Alright,” he conceded reluctantly, prattling off Brendan’s address and hanging up soon after,

“Everything okay?” Brendan asked, an odd look in his eyes as he met Ste’s gaze.

“Yeah… my step dad’s pickin’ me up soon…” he sighed miserably, fiddling with the handset before putting it back on its fancy little hub, freezing with his arm outstretched when Brendan stood and crossed the room towards him, rounding the counter and cutting off Ste’s potential escape route,

“Steven…” Brendan exhaled as a sigh, Ste frowned at him, withdrawing into himself and curling his arms around his stomach nervously, “About what happened…” he was about a foot away from Ste now, looking at Ste in a way that made the teen even more anxious. Ste lifted a hand, fiddling with the scab on his bottom lip whilst keeping his arms as tight to his body as he could manage, not wanting to give Brendan an easy target. “I was wrong to tell you to stay away from Declan… he’s been in bits…” Ste frowned at him, “worried sick about you, said you showed up in a shit state,” he gestured at Ste’s face, clearly having noticed the bruising under Ste’s eye and the cut on his nose and mouth,

“Weren’t nothin’, neighbourhood kids…” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact by looking down at his feet,

“Why don’t I believe you?” Ste looked up at him with a scowl,

“Nowt nefarious, _you’re_ the one who beats me, _remember_?” he pointed out, taking the opportunity to twist the knife and watching as Brendan flinched like _Ste_ was the one who’d lashed out.

“Steven please…” Brendan exhaled, finally meeting his gaze, “I didn’t… I never meant to hurt you Steven…”

“Not sure how you can punch someone without meanin’ to hurt them but alright,” Ste grumbled, but inside he was reeling, not sure what was happening here,

“I shouldn’t have hit you… I had no right… no reason… I just… I panicked… you _scare_ me Steven,” it was an apology (sort of), something Ste wasn’t sure how to deal with, so he settled for being offended instead,

“ _I_ scare _you?_ Are you serious?” he balked, “You _hurt_ me, and cause of you I hurt my best mate, I’ve let ‘im down, I’ve let _my friends_ down, I’ve let my _team_ down, I dropped _everythin’_ cause I was scared shitless you’d _kill_ me if I talked to Dec again,” he hadn’t realised just how deep his fear of Brendan went, that he was actually scared Brendan would do _more_ than just beat him, because in his mind Brendan was a bigger threat, Brendan _seemed like he cared_ , and to have someone he thought cared about him _hurt_ him, that was terrifying. “An’ then you tell me I have to talk to him again, an’ you say _‘don’t make me ask twice Steven’_ an’ I’m sat wonderin’ if you’ll batter me if I don’t, an’ I _want_ to be Declan’s friend, maybe more, but I’m scared because what if I only want that because I’m scared of _you_?” he was breathing in big desperate gulps of air, slipping into a panic and letting out dry sobs as he spoke, sucking in a sharp breath and scrunching his eyes closed when Brendan was suddenly in his personal space.

 

He was surprised by the gentle touch of Brendan’s fingers on his cheek, not opening his eyes until his chin was tilted up and Brendan’s hands cupped his face, thumbs brushing lightly over his cheekbones. He squinted at Brendan briefly before searching blue eyes for that malice he’d only really recognised _after_ he’d been hit, turning his head that fraction to succumb to the touch,

“Brendan?” he asked quietly, voice giving a pathetic wobble,

“I _never_ meant to hit you Steven,” he said, “I mean that, an’ I meant it when I said you scare me,” he admitted, Ste watched Brendan’s eyes, seeing them glance down, taking in Ste’s face like he was something precious, he was falling for it and he wanted to kick himself in the teeth, “you’re so _young_ , an’ at first that was fine, we were just havin’ a lark, an’ sure I thought, I thought maybe if you were older I’d have given it a crack,” he laughed as he finished, just a huff of a noise, a puff of warm breath over Ste’s skin, “then in the locker room… I couldn’t help myself, seein’ you jackin’ off, I knew it was cause of me, an’ I just… I _had_ to touch you, I wanted you so bad, I shouldn’t have touched you…”

“I wanted you to…” Ste admitted, he thought that much was obvious, given Brendan had caught him _jacking off_ , he felt guilty admitting it though, thinking about Declan upstairs, about kissing him, how deep down he’d wished it was Brendan kissing him,

“I don’t _care_ Steven, that’s not the point, I can’t help myself when I’m around you, all I can think of is touching you, _fucking_ you,” Ste’s eyes widened when Brendan pressed a light kiss to his open mouth, feeling his heart rate pick up in excitement, a complete contrast to the unexpected kiss from Declan, “and then after, when the dust has settled over whatever _this_ is, I remember you _go to school with my son_ , you’re his _best friend_ , and I… I _took advantage_ of you, and it makes me feel sick, but for some insane reason… I don’t want to stop,” he kissed Ste again then but Ste pulled back a fraction, “Steven please,” Brendan inched closer, nudging Ste’s nose with his own, his eyes were closed and he looked like it would hurt him to be rejected right then, “tell me you want me, tell me I’m not some kind of predator here,” he whispered, and Ste worried his bottom lip with his teeth, wincing as he pressed the scab there,

“No,” he let out, surprised at his answer, “I need you to promise me somethin’, swear to me you’re not gonna hit me again,” he watched Brendan’s eyes open, saw hesitance and felt confused, not sure why Brendan couldn’t promise him that.

“Steven I didn’t know I was gonna hit you the first time…” Brendan admitted, hands slipping down to Ste’s neck, thumbs still brushing tiny circles against his skin, “I don’t want to hurt you, I never want to hurt you…” he stopped making eye contact then and Ste lifted his hands from where they were balled at his sides, tracing the backs of his fingers across Brendan’s cheeks before holding his face the way Brendan had done.

“Okay…” he let out quietly, “okay,” he said it firmer that time and Brendan looked at him, vulnerability fading as he let Ste’s words sink in, Ste pushed closer and kissed him, punctuating his third ‘okay’, and Brendan’s fingers shifted on the back of his head to pull him in and kiss him, hard and desperate and needy. Ste felt like he was breathing Brendan in, hands slipping down to the older man’s shoulders, one moving further to hook the low neckline of Brendan’s vest; he didn’t realise how much he’d wanted this again, holding tight to Brendan and pushing his body close as they kissed, unsure if the grunts were his or Brendan’s, the sounds muffled and trapped between tongues and teeth and lips. One of Brendan’s hands left his neck to trace his spine down to the curve of his ass, hooking on the back of his thigh, Brendan lifted him then, using his body to brace Ste against his hand, in effect dumping Ste onto the counter and fitting nicely between his legs. Brendan’s hand moved back to Ste’s ass and Ste hooked his legs around him instinctively, dipping down to keep their mouths connected, taking everything Brendan was willing to give him then and there, torn between wanting to kiss him like this forever and wanting things to heat up even more. His dick voted for the latter, making itself well known against Brendan’s stomach, prompting Brendan to give his ass a good squeeze, he grinned into Brendan’s mouth and they parted, foreheads touching, Ste stroked his hands down Brendan’s neck and was panting as he smiled open mouthed at him, licking his wet lips and tasting blood. Just as his brow creased with confusion, Brendan’s hand moved from his head and his thumb tracked across the split on Ste’s lip, wiping the miniscule trace of blood away.

 

Brendan looked like he was about to say something when a bell chimed throughout the house and there was a knocking at the door, Ste letting out an annoyed groan as their impromptu make out session was put on hold, Brendan gave a sly smirk and pressed a last lingering kiss against his mouth. He realised when Brendan eased from between his legs and left to answer the door that Declan could have walked in at any point, looking around with wide eyes and seeing no sign of the Irish teen, eyes settling on Brendan as he vanished through the door. He let out a sigh, touching his hands to his flushed cheeks and feeling how hot they were, feeling stupidly giddy that that had just happened, pushing aside the guilt he felt knowing he’d kissed Declan too,

“Steven,” Brendan called out, a summons and a warning that had Ste sliding off the counter and adjusting his achingly hard cock in his pants, opting to hide behind the breakfast island, leaning on it and smiling when Brendan returned, amazed at how unfazed the older man looked. “Your step-father’s here,” that was a boner killer, Brendan gave a gesture to the door with his head and Ste looked in time to see Terry stalk in, face going from the forced polite smile that got him through the front door to one like thunder. Ste felt his blood run cold,

“Well then, nice of you to tell us you’re okay _son_ ,” Terry said as he looked around, he was walking towards Ste, who backed up instantly, finding himself on the floor a split second after, clutching his nose as blood streamed down his face, his head hitting the tiles and knocking his vision blurry. He felt a hand on his school shirt, pulling him off the ground but not enough for him to even think to get purchase and move, he just about saw Terry drawing his fist back when a darker blur swept in and he clattered to the ground again, rolling onto his side and cradling his head. The world was thick with noise and he couldn’t place any of it, cowering on the floor as shouting erupted and bile crawled up his throat, burning and hard to swallow. He realised sluggishly that the blur he’d seen was _Brendan_ , a recognition that had him uncurling and pushing himself to sitting, looking up and forcing his eyes to focus, blinking owlishly and gaping at Brendan’s back, swiping his sleeve across his nose to clear some of the blood.

 

Brendan was kneeling, he noticed that first, then the back and forth of an arm as he swung at the ground, but he wasn’t swinging at the ground, he was on top of Terry, _battering_ him, Ste pushed himself up to his knees and felt Brendan’s name tumble uselessly from his mouth a few times.

“Bren stop!” he cried out, skittering across the kitchen tiles and grabbing the arm that had a handful of Terry’s t-shirt to hold him in place, “Bren please stop!” he pleaded, eyes transfixed on Terry’s face, blood and bruising and swelling forming with every crack of Brendan’s fist, and Ste was scared Brendan was going to kill him.

“I heard shoutin’ what’s goin’… Da?!” Ste looked to see Declan in a dishevelled state, just about finished pulling his shirt on and still damp from his shower,

“Dec help,” Ste let out, fingers curling against the crook of Brendan’s elbow, Declan rushed forwards then, bodily tackling his dad off of Terry, shoving him against the counters and holding him as best he could whilst Brendan raged and spat and cursed up a storm. Terry was more resilient than he had seemed under Brendan, pushing himself up and locking a bloody, squinted stare on Ste, who didn’t flinch back quick enough to escape the hand on his wrist, squeezing painfully. Ste crumpled, a weak and terrified child with blood dripping down his face and a faint ringing in his left ear, incapable of doing anything beyond letting out broken little pleas and apologies, apologising for not calling home, for stopping out after school, for Brendan stopping his beating, only the word ‘punishment’ slipped out, like he’d deserved it. “Please, please I’m sorry,” he could taste his own blood as it dripped across his lips, metallic and salty from his tears, he didn’t mean to look over at Brendan and Declan, didn’t mean to see the anger on the older Brady’s face, barely registered the look of sheer horror on Declan’s, “please,” he let out wetly, sniffling and snorting when he inhaled blood.

“I swear to god if you don’t take your hand offa him I’ll feckin’ kill ye,” Brendan pushed Declan aside with a level of care and gentleness that contradicted the wild look in his eyes, and although Declan had rushed to get his dad off of Terry, he sat back and raised an eyebrow in challenge at him, as if to say ‘well? You heard him’, Terry’s grasp slackened and he slowly drew himself to his feet,

“Get up son,” he ordered coldly, Ste obeyed, “Go wait in the car,” Brendan and Declan were up like a shot, Declan’s eyes wide, looking to his dad desperately.

“Don’t move Steven,” Brendan gestured at Ste with an open palm, “He’s not goin’ with you,” he was breathing heavily through his nose, like he was barely containing that wild creature that had beat seven shades of shit out of Terry moments ago, and he was poised like he was ready to strike again at a moment’s notice. His words had calmed Declan, who rushed quickly to Ste’s side and helped him to his feet before guiding him away from Terry and fussing over him,

“Are you alright? Christ that’s a lot of blood,” he whispered, glancing over at where Terry and Brendan were having a silent standoff,

“M’fine…” Ste grumbled, he was starting to feel woozy and the ringing in his ear had increased in pitch,

“He’s gotta come home _some_ time,” Terry spat finally, Ste looking over with hazy eyes,

“No, I don’t think so,” Brendan shook his head as he spoke, “no, the only time he’s goin’ in that house is to get his things, an’ I’ll be there watchin’ your every fuckin’ move,” he spat, “now get the hell out of my house before I call the police,”

“ _You_ attacked _me_ ,” Terry gestured to his face,

“Maybe so, but there’s three people here who’ll say you tried to batter a kid, I think I’ll get off a lot lighter than you,” Brendan smirked darkly, and Ste wasn’t really sure what happened after that, sagging against Declan as the ringing stopped and he blacked out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd initially wanted this to be a longer chapter, had a few more things I wanted to put in, but it felt right to end it where I have. Enjoy!

He could hear voices when he woke up, not opening his eyes just yet, his head was throbbing and his nose felt worse than it had when he’d been punched; the voices were hazy and distant but they soon became clear and he could make out the words.

“I should have known, I should have _told_ someone,” it was a woman’s voice, it sounded vaguely familiar but he couldn’t place it,

“You can’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault,” that was definitely Brendan, he knew that voice anywhere, but the woman…

“But I had suspicions, when I first met him, I told Tony, Coach Hutchinson, he said he asked but…” she trailed off and the fog felt like it had lifted, her Northern Irish tone coming clear and familiar,

“If he denies it’s happenin’ there’s nothin’ you can do Lyns,” Brendan assured, “people like that, they get into a kid’s head, make them feel like they deserve it, so there’s nothin’ to tell,” he added,

“I could have stopped it though… if I’d listened to my gut instead of the others… They said he was a bad kid,” she sounded like she was near tears, “But I know him, he’s not, and I still listened to them…” Ste opened his eyes then, blinking until the worried face of Declan came into view hovering above him.

“Da! Lynsey! He’s awake!” he called them over desperately, soon clinging to Ste’s hand and holding it up, pressing his mouth to it idly, Ste wanted to pull his hand away but he just couldn’t be bothered, looking around with a slight squint and figuring out he was on the couch in Brendan’s lounge. Lynsey was soon in his field of vision with a little light, asking him questions and going through motions Ste remembered from the first time he’d actually been hospitalised by Terry, it had been _years_ since he’d had to seek proper medical attention though, because Terry had been more careful since; he realised he was relieved that he was being helped by someone who was ‘in house’, someone he knew, not some doctor who would poke and prod and ask invasive questions and make him lie.

“Ste can you remember what happened?” she asked softly,

“Terry…” he said, surprising himself, but it was pretty obvious they all knew,

“Do you remember specifics?” she asked,

“He hit me…” he mumbled, and he wasn’t sure but he thought his voice sounded weird, “punched me in the face…” he frowned then, realising that Terry had hit him with an audience, something he’d thought would never happen in a million years, he was just glad it had never happened in front of Amy, not with how he’d clung to her as some kind of minor defence against his step-dad.

“He broke your nose love… it doesn’t need setting, we’ve iced it a bit, which you’ll need to do every couple of hours to lessen the pain,” she explained, “but it’s going to be really painful for the next few weeks,” she explained,

“Oh…” he was starting to think Terry had it out for his nose with the amount of times he’d hit it recently, but he didn’t dwell on it, because images of Terry flashed in his head, battered by Brendan, and that anger he’d seen on Brendan’s face made him cower when the man finally approached to see if he was okay.

“Ste? Ste are you alright?” Declan asked, worried when Ste’s hand slipped from his and the teen curled in on himself, Brendan seemed to realise this was his fault and stepped back, Ste watching him warily, not missing the flicker of hurt there,

“What happened to Terry?” he asked tiredly, moving to sit up, pulling away when Declan tried to help him,

“You don’t have to worry about im,” Declan assured,

“He’s gonna kill me when I get home,” Ste groaned,

“You’re not goin’ back,” Declan pointed out, and Ste just felt worse, he _had_ to go home,

“I’ve got to… I need to just… go home… apologise… hope for the best…”

“You’ve got nothin’ to apologise for Steven,” Brendan interjected roughly,

“No, I don’t, but _you_ do,” Ste spat, earning an incredulous look from the older Brady, “You almost _killed_ him,” he exclaimed, Brendan looked offended there,

“I can’t believe you’re defendin’ that sick fuck!” he barked, Ste staring him down,  
“He’s my _step dad_ ,” Ste gritted out, “he’s _family,_ ” he honestly couldn’t believe he was defending Terry himself, he could feel something in his head resisting this stupid built in urge to hide his abuse even though he knew just about everyone here had seen it happen. Something in him though, had him defending Terry because he knew if he admitted Terry was a monster the way Brendan had, he’d have to tar Brendan with that brush too, Terry hit kids, _Brendan_ hit kids. He knew Brendan claimed it was a one off, that they’d ‘resolved’ things, but seeing what he’d done to Terry, even in Ste’s defence, it was terrifying.

“He beats you Ste,” Brendan gritted out,

“It’s not that bad…” Ste excused lamely, swinging his legs off the edge of the couch,

“Not that bad?” Brendan looked angry then and Ste shrank against Declan, who had moved to sit next to him,

“Maybe you should drop it Brendan…” Lynsey urged with a soft touch to Brendan’s arm, “I really have to go… I told Eoghan it was Cheryl calling me,” she sighed, not happy that she had to leave, “If you need anything at all, call me. Ste, Brendan has my number, any nausea or dizziness or anything out of the ordinary, tell him and he’ll call me okay?”

“You won’t tell anyone will you?” Ste cringed, watching the way Lynsey’s concern crumpled into reluctant defeat,

“Course not sweetheart, you just worry about getting better okay,” she smiled, touching his hair tenderly, he gave her a pained smile, relieved she wasn’t going to run to the police, he wasn’t ready for his life to be turned over like that. She gave Brendan a look though, one Ste knew meant ‘convince him’, it was the look Amy had given Declan when he’d found out about it, because Amy had done her best and failed, and wanted someone else to try and help him.

 

“Can I have some space?” he asked abruptly once Lynsey had said her goodbyes and left the three of them alone, Declan reluctantly stood and moved to the other couch, giving him a pathetic look, “I think I wanna be on my own…” he added,

“Well you know where your room is, shout if you need anythin’,” Brendan said dismissively, but Ste got the feeling that leaving him to it was the last thing Brendan wanted.

“Dec can I borrow your phone? I wanna call Ames…” he muttered to the other teen, smiling as best he could when Declan handed it over, fingers lingering on his own a fraction too long, Ste glanced to Brendan who hadn’t noticed, instead he’d started pacing the length of the main room, roughing his moustache with his fingers as he tried to calm his temper.

Ste pushed from the couch and gave Brendan a wide berth as he passed, keeping his head down and stopping in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs when his vision gave an uncomfortable lurch; he was okay though, taking a few deep breaths and steadying himself before heading upstairs and to the room that he’d stayed in before, all too aware of how close it was to Brendan’s. His school bag was already up here, propped on the floor by the door, and there was a pair of checked PJ pants lying on the bed, he figured Declan must’ve got a few things for him to wear to busy himself and keep out of Lynsey’s way. He sat down next to the pants and looked down at the phone in his hand, the background was him and Amy hugging each other for the camera, and part of Ste wanted to snoop around for more hints on Declan’s feelings, but instead he thumbed through to Amy’s number and hit call, holding the phone to his ear as he lay down with his legs dangling off the edge of the bed, listening to it ring. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to say when she did answer, though the longer the tone dragged on the more he wondered if she was going to answer at all.

“H-Hello?” There was laughter in her voice and Ste felt like maybe he was interrupting something, staying quiet for a moment and hearing murmuring before Amy said something about Declan then addressed him again, “Declan? You’ve not pocket dialled me again have you? Oh I’ll kill him,” she laughed to whoever she was with,

“Ames it’s Ste,” he answered finally, raking his brain for who she was with,

“Ste? You’re still at Declan’s?” she asked, Ste pulling the phone away from his ear to look at the time, it was just after ten,

“Oh shit Ames sorry I didn’t realise what time it was,” or how long he’d been out cold for after Terry showed up, “Do you wanna come over?” he asked in spite of himself, he knew she’d say no, she was with someone,   
“I’m at Josh’s right now Ste, didn’t I say?” she hadn’t, but he tried to hide his disappointment, he’d forgotten about Josh, the on-and-off boyfriend, he must’ve missed them getting back together when he’d been off school,

“Must’ve slipped my mind…” he went to rub his face and let out a pained groan when he touched his nose,

“Are you okay?” she asked,

“I’m fine... I’ll see you Monday, alright?” he asked,

“Of course you will,” she agreed, “Look Ste I’ve got to go okay? Say hi to Declan for me,” she added with an odd sing-song in her voice, like she knew something he didn’t,

“Aright, night Ames, sorry for botherin’ you,” she hung up soon after and Ste dumped the phone on the bed and just lay there for a while, half asleep when someone knocked on the door, he didn’t answer but they came in any way, he’d thought it was Brendan at first but Declan leant into his line of sight when he opened his eyes.

“You okay there? I got you some ice,” he held up a tea-towel parcel as some kind of peace offering and Ste reached out his hands, but aside from that he didn’t move or say anything, Declan just handed him the ice and he draped it over his face, ignoring the pain the weight of it roused. “You get through to Amy?” he asked,

“She’s with Josh,” he was muffled by the fabric wrapped ice pack,

“Ah… You still don’t like him do you?” Ste gave a noncommittal shrug,

“He’s alright, just feels like he’s messin’ her about,” he wasn’t sure who was messing whom in that relationship if he was honest, but he wanted Amy to be happy, so he didn’t say anything outside of whining at Declan about it, which he’d not done in months, because they’d been off-again since Christmas. “I don’t wanna talk about them though…”

“Could talk about another couple if you want…” the bed dipped beside him when Declan sat down and Ste knew he was going to mention the kiss,

“Not now Dec…” he mumbled, the chill of the ice was sinking into his face and it felt kind of amazing, soothing and numbing all at once.

“Yeah, sorry,” Declan chuckled, and Ste was uncomfortably reminded of his and Brendan’s little encounter before Terry had shown up, he felt guilty and conflicted, because Declan was nice and caring and would never hurt him, but he didn’t _feel_ that way about him, he felt that way about _Brendan_ though, even if he _was_ scared of him. “Want me to go?” Declan asked after a while, “You should get some sleep, da says we’re gettin’ your stuff tomorrow if you’re up for it,” Ste nodded, not sure if he’d be able to face going back there without being convinced to stay, but he’d have Declan and Brendan there, and hopefully Brendan would hold his temper in check, he couldn’t stomach another fight like that. Ste almost jumped when he felt Declan’s fingers push through his hair, a gentle, adoring touch that came out of nowhere, but he didn’t move, just lay there with his eyes obstructed by the icepack, holding his breath until Declan said a quiet goodnight and left.

 

He peeled the pack from his face and put it on the bedside table, looking down at the reddish brown crust of his school shirt and grimacing, this was his spare, the other one was bloodied up from before, but at least he’d taken his tie off this time, so he knew it was safe and clean in the pocket of his backpack. It took some effort to get his limbs moving properly but he managed to peel his shirt off and dump it on the floor, leaving his equally stained undershirt on, since it didn’t have the same stiff quality that his shirt had. He changed into the pyjama pants that had been left for him and sat back down, ice pack in hand, it was softer now, melting and wetting the towel around it, he couldn’t leave it in here all night, so he padded from the room and headed downstairs, surprised to find nobody down there, he unwrapped the pack, finding it full of blue slush and not entirely sure how to handle it, so he left it in the sink with the towel before sneaking back upstairs.

He hovered outside Brendan’s room, realising he really didn’t feel like being alone right then, his fingers hovered over the doorknob briefly before he eased the door open and called Brendan’s name softly, heart sinking when he saw the room was empty, bed made and curtains open to let moonlight inside,

“Bren?” he tried again, but the light was off in the en suite too and he realised Brendan had likely gone to work without saying anything to him. He sighed miserably and retreated, closing the door like he’d never been there in the first place, he bypassed his bedroom door and continued down the hall to Declan’s room, the lights were off and he could hear snoring, but he knocked anyway, opening the door a crack and peering inside,

“Dec?” he called out, voice nasal and giving away his feelings about Brendan’s absence,

“Mh… Ste?” Declan grumbled sleepily, just waking up,

“Can I stop with you tonight?” he asked awkwardly, he felt bad about Declan being his Second Choice, but he saw the shift of covers where Declan invited him in and made a beeline for the teen, hopping in next to him and huddling close enough that he was almost burying his face in Declan’s neck.

“You ‘kay?” Declan mumbled,

“Just… don’t wanna be on me own…” he answered quietly, using Declan’s warmth to reassure him and affirm his safety the way he’d done with Amy a million times before. Declan seemed happy enough with this, wrapping his arms around Ste and holding him close, falling asleep within minutes, leaving Ste to peer quietly over his shoulder whilst his mind reeled at how stupid a decision this probably was.

He was still awake when the door opened and footsteps approached in the early hours of the morning, a hand touched his shoulder and a quiet _‘Steven’_ broke the silence, he turned his head to show he was awake, eyes adjusted enough to the darkness for him to see Brendan pretty clearly, suited up from work and looking tired,

“A word,” Brendan whispered, nodding to the doorway before walking off, not waiting for Ste to even acknowledge the request let alone move.

“Ste?” Declan yawned when he tried to worm out of the other teen’s arms,

“I gotta pee,” he excused, “Go back to sleep,” Declan hummed his okay and did exactly that after letting him go and rolling over, thankfully oblivious to his dad’s earlier presence.

He padded out of the room and closed the door, hands behind him and lingering on the knob as he watched Brendan pace back and forth a few times before stopping in front of him, concern lining his features, “How’re you feelin’?” Brendan asked, voice a murmur to keep Declan from overhearing if he woke up again,

“face hurts… but I’m alright…” he shrugged, eyes widening when Brendan reached out and brushed fingers through his hair, not unlike the way Declan had before, though his fingers rounded to Ste’s chin and tilted it up a fraction, the older man leaning in like he wanted to kiss him, but Ste closed his eyes and turned his head away.

“I thought we were past this Steven,” he gritted out when Ste shied away,

“I thought so an’ all… but… you almost _killed_ him,” Ste cringed at the crack in his voice,

“I gladly would’ve, if you’d let me…” Brendan’s lips twisted into a snarl as he looked away,

“You can’t just _say_ that! That’s why I’m… why I can’t…” he couldn’t get the words out without getting louder, so he stopped, realising he was _scared_ of Brendan, scared he was capable of more than Terry ever could be,

“He hurt you Steven, I can’t let someone do that to you,” Brendan muttered, uncomfortable with the irony,

“But you…” Ste began, watching the flinch and feeling like a complete ass,

“I… I shouldn’t have… but you can fix a one off, you can’t change a monster set in his ways,” his expression darkened as he spoke and Ste continued to feel guilty about his repeated accusations.

“I’m just… it’s crazy…” he wanted to tell Brendan he believed him, because _god_ did he want to believe that Brendan wouldn’t hurt him, and the more he thought about it the more he thought Brendan would only want to defend him, but that violence was there, volatile and dangerous, lurking beneath the surface and it scared him, not that it would be aimed at _him_ , but that he’d have to witness it at all. “I can’t see you like that…” he whispered, feeling Brendan’s fingers on his cheeks and not pulling away this time, letting his head be tilted upwards, letting Brendan’s lips brush lightly against his own, an odd slant to the kiss in Brendan’s care not to bump their noses; he couldn’t stop himself from looking up into Brendan’s eyes when he drew back, waiting for the words he saw written all over the older man’s face.

“Okay…” Brendan breathed, “You won’t, it’s not gonna happen again, cause he’s never gonna lay a finger on you,” he promised, kissing Ste again, harder this time but with no less care, hands moving to Ste’s hips, fingers slipping just under the hem of his shirt to brush at skin, but the door handle soon rattled behind Ste and he had to stop. He jerked away and stepped back, Ste turning to the door behind him, seeing it open and Declan stood there yawning,

“What’s goin’ on?” he grumbled,

“I wanted to check on Steven,” Brendan excused lamely, “Wasn’t in his room when I got in, then low an’ behold he walked out of yours, bumped right into me,” he chuckled tiredly, rubbing his face,

“I still need a piss…” Ste blurted before ducking past Brendan and into the closest bathroom, not hearing Declan’s response but he could hear father and son talking down the hallway. He’d realised that his interaction with Brendan had had an undesired effect on his body, only undesired because _Declan_ had interrupted the moment and any potential for more.

 

He daren’t touch himself, dropping the lid of the toilet and sitting down, willing his dick to behave itself and waiting for the voices outside to fade before he was ready to emerge; he was, however, unsurprised to find Brendan leaning on the wall by the bathroom door,

“Have a problem Steven?” he asked, looking Ste over, lips pursed as he did so.

“Not anymore,” Ste huffed, but Brendan’s hand found his chest and he was pushed backwards into the bathroom regardless, soon dropping onto the closed lid of the toilet whilst Brendan locked the bathroom door and flicked the light back on. “Uhm Brendan what are you doin’?” he knew what Brendan was doing, arranging a little _moment_ between them, but Declan would be expecting him back and there was no way he could explain away creaming himself instead of pissing. Brendan just looked at him, a knowing smirk that said that despite his questioning protest, he knew Ste wasn’t about to turn him away, and he was right, but it didn’t stop Ste from making excuses, “Dec’ll wonder where I am,”

“Go back to your own bed then, he’ll believe anythin’ coming from you,” Brendan whispered as he sank to his knees in front of Ste. He hadn’t known what he was expecting from Brendan right then, but it wasn’t this, Brendan’s hands smoothing over his thighs before pulling his pyjama pants and boxers down to mid-thigh, exposing his quickly hardening cock.

“Oh god…” he gasped, Brendan wet his lips with his tongue and Ste was scared he was going to shoot his load just _thinking_ about what was about to happen to him, he grabbed the toilet seat and held onto it with a vicelike grip, terrified of doing anything else as he watched and felt Brendan mouth at the soft skin at the join of his thigh.

Brendan didn’t tease for long though, the hazy time limit that Ste had worried about seemed to have registered with Brendan too, who took Ste in hand and stroked the length of his cock a few times before meeting his wide-eyed gaze and pressing the flat of his tongue to the head of it, soon sliding his mouth down Ste’s prick and shifting his tongue against the underside of it. Ste wanted to drop his head back and go boneless at the feeling, but he was pinned by Brendan’s gaze, transfixed on the small lines that formed at the corners of his eyes when he smiled around Ste’s cock. He couldn’t think, not with the way Brendan’s mouth began to slick up and down his cock, stopping after a few times to hum, the vibrations had Ste’s fingers twitching against the lid of the seat as he let out desperate little pleas for Brendan to keep going.

Brendan clearly had no intention of stopping though, the hand on the base of Ste’s cock slipping down to cup his balls and toy with them in a way that caused ‘Oh god’ to slip from Ste’s mouth a little too loud. His other hand reached up and covered Ste’s mouth carefully, muffling the moans that tried to grow louder when Brendan’s mouth sank down and Ste felt his nose pressing into his pubic hair. Ste couldn’t spread his legs wide enough to satisfy the urge to offer himself to Brendan, he finally loosened his grip on the toilet seat though, nervously lacing his fingers through Brendan’s hair, pulling it when Brendan’s cheeks hollowed out again. He took in the wicked look on Brendan’s face, watched with wide eyes as Brendan’s lips reddened beneath that deceptively silky feeling moustache, he felt Brendan swallow and had to close his eyes as a moan shuddered through him, puffing hot against Brendan’s palm. His head fell back and he couldn’t stop himself from shooting down Brendan’s waiting throat as the man continued to blow him, letting out a pathetic whimper when he felt Brendan swallow everything he gave. He was all shaky breaths when Brendan’s mouth slipped from his cock, the man unhanding his balls and easing to his feet to lean over him, he opened his eyes when Brendan’s hand slid to uncover his mouth, smiling dopily when Brendan kissed him. Ste hooked his arms around Brendan’s neck and drew him down, licking into his mouth and tasting himself on Brendan’s tongue, humming at how good it felt. They parted and Ste couldn’t help but want to return the favour, this was the second time Brendan had gotten him off (and actually _been_ there), and he felt bad about not getting Brendan off in return the last time.

“Can I?” he whispered, gesturing lamely to the tight fabric of Brendan’s trousers, Brendan just smiled though, an uneasy look in his eyes as he stared past Ste,

“Not yet…” he uttered,

“You’re not gonna go an’ call _Eoghan_ are ya?” Ste grumped, remembering how last time they’d clashed like this, he’d brought the other Irishman home for a quickie. Brendan just laughed though,

“Not a chance, but I shouldn’t keep you, you need rest,” there was something else underlying Brendan’s refusal but Ste wasn’t sure what, didn’t know what to ask to find it out, so he hiked his pants back up and gave Brendan an awkward kiss on the mouth, smiling when he pulled away and Brendan licked his lips. “Go on, shoo,” Brendan smiled, smoothing his fingers over his moustache, other hand in his pocket as he waited for Ste to leave,

“Alright…” Ste sighed, trying to sound as miserable as possible, but it only made Brendan’s smile soften in amusement. He gave another huff and snuck out of the bathroom then, the coast was clear and he considered heading back to Declan’s room before thinking better of it, he’d lie if Declan asked, say he didn’t want to wake him up or something; Brendan was right, Declan _would_ understand, he always did.

 

His nose hurt like a bitch when he finally dragged his ass out of bed at about ten in the morning, he’d gotten some sleep but had rolled over and pain had erupted across his face where he’d flattened it to the pillows. He expressed as much when he went downstairs after changing into the jeans and t-shirt he’d found on the dresser, getting a sour look from Brendan who’d apparently found his discarded ice pack,

“You freeze this Steven, it’s pretty basic logic there,” he commented, holding up the pack now full of blue liquid rather than slush,

“Uh… sorry… never seen one before,” he got a weird look then, like it was something common in most households, but Ste had only ever really used bags of frozen peas for his injuries in the past, so he just shrugged.

“We’ve got another one, I’ll fetch it…” Brendan hummed and headed for the freezer,

“Declan up?” Ste asked absently, glancing at the door when Brendan said no, padding silently behind him and sliding his hands into the pockets of Brendan’s suit pants, drawing himself flush to his back and smiling when Brendan’s hands dropped to cover his.  
“Steven,” Brendan’s voice was low and there may have been a warning there, but Ste ignored it and slid his hands out when Brendan moved to turn around, ignoring the open freezer now behind him. Ste smirked when he saw the way Brendan couldn’t choose between meeting his gaze and staring at his mouth, so he edged his tongue out, catching it with his teeth and giving Brendan a suggestive look, a little surprised when Brendan ducked down and kissed him. The kiss did give Ste an uncomfortable reminder as to why Brendan was searching the freezer at 10am though, when he moved wrong and his nose bumped Brendan’s.

“Ow shit,” he cussed as he pulled back and covered his nose, Brendan’s hand found his chin and turned his face up, Ste’s hand falling down to his side,

“You okay?” he asked, face etched with concern as he tilted Ste’s face this way and that to inspect the swell of his nose,

“Fine…” Ste muttered grumpily, “Just need ice,”

“Go sit down,” Brendan ordered and Ste obeyed, perching on one of the stools at the island counter and watching Brendan fetch another gel pack, grabbing the old one off the side and fitting it where the new one had been. He wrapped it before handing it to Ste, who buried his face in it feeling like an idiot, but the ice soothed his pain and his embarrassment, “You still not a breakfast man Steven?” Brendan asked, and Ste wasn’t sure how but it sounded suggestive coming from Brendan,

“Can I have some toast?” he asked quietly, uncovering his face and looking at Brendan for his reaction,

“Course,” Brendan nodded, and Ste just sat and watched as Brendan slid bread into the toaster and started getting things like butter and jam out of the fridge, placing them and knives on the counter. He’d put in too much for just Ste so Ste figured he was having some himself or trying to lure Declan downstairs with the smell of toasted bread, or both, but he watched regardless, happy to stare at Brendan’s backside whilst he drummed his fingers impatiently on the counter the toaster was on.

Declan showed up as Brendan was burning his fingers on the latest slices that popped up, the teen sitting next to Ste and waiting for a plate of toast to be pushed his way,

“Did you leave last night?” Declan asked, though the look on his face said he knew the answer,

“I didn’t wanna wake you up,” Ste mumbled around a mouthful, the motion hurt his nose and he was surprised he’d not felt that pain as much when kissing Brendan, but he was sort of glad,

“Oh, thanks… did you sleep alright?” he asked after and Ste nodded,

“Yeah… when are we gettin’ my stuff? I can’t keep wearin’ these boxers an’ I don’t wanna borrow any,” he asked, he didn’t want to go back, but at the same time he didn’t want to be kitted out in Declan’s clothes if something was starting up between him and Brendan, not wanting to give the man any more excuses to halt the progress in whatever it was they had. Declan shrugged so Ste looked over to Brendan, catching the man sucking jam off of his finger and feeling his cheeks heat up when Brendan slowed the gesture and cocked an eyebrow at him, he managed to hide it though, picking up his briefly forgotten ice pack and covering half his face with it, still peering over at Brendan and hoping he just looked like he was waiting on an answer.

“Hm?” Brendan hummed after he withdrew his finger from his mouth,

“My stuff,” Ste mumbled, not willing to say much else for fear his tongue might loosen and he’d fuck up,

“We can go after breakfast, get it out the way, saves you frettin’ about it,” Brendan offered easily, and Ste appreciated it, because sure he was nervous _now_ , but if he had time to think about it he’d only work himself into a state.

 

He’d opted to squish himself into the back of the car this time, it wasn’t exactly uncomfortable if he was honest, and even if it had been, he only wanted to sit there so he could stay in the car as long as possible, but when they arrived at his house he was coaxed out by Declan.

“Terry’s car’s here…” Ste noted miserably, Declan’s fingers brushed his and he pulled away, part just not wanting to give Declan further ideas, but mostly because he was scared of what Terry would think if he saw, what he’d do if he somehow convinced Ste to stay.

They managed to get inside and to his bedroom before anyone showed up to confront them, but Brendan stood on guard outside the door whilst Ste and Declan hastily filled duffel bags provided by the older Brady. Ste stopped when he heard Brendan raising his voice, though he was surprised to hear his _mum_ ’s voice responding on the other side of the door, listening carefully and not really making out the words, so he pulled the door open and hid just out of his mum’s line of sight.

“He’s my _son_ ,” she was crying, typical, Ste wanted to shout at her for that, but Brendan beat him to it,

“He is, yet you _know_ what your precious _husband_ does to him, you let that happen!” he hissed, hands moving to the doorframe as an extra barricade, Pauline recoiled and let out a pathetic blub of a noise, “How can you even live with yourself?” he gritted out, wound tight like he wanted to force her away from them and out of Ste’s life.

“But he’s my son, I need him,” she tried again, “Ste you can’t leave, we’re _family_ ,” she looked past Brendan and turned her pleading gaze on Ste, who pushed under Brendan’s arm and scowled at her,

“You need me here ‘cause you need someone else to take his temper, well it ain’t gonna be me, not anymore,” he spat,

“Jesus woman, get yourself some help,” Brendan grimaced at her, he almost looked guilty, but shook it off and ushered Ste back to packing his things, “He’s not comin’ back here, not whilst that piece of shit is knockin’ about,” he sounded calmer now, and Ste hated him for it, he didn’t care that his mum was the backup victim when he wasn’t around, she did _nothing_ , she’d _watched_ Terry batter him and done _nothing_ , he had no sympathy for the mess she’d gotten herself into, and he wanted to say as much to Brendan. He bit his tongue though, seething silently as he rammed the last of his clothes into one of the bags, Declan was packing other things, packing up Ste’s DVDs, framed photos, pretty much anything Ste would have broken in anger if he’d been doing it.

“I don’t wanna be here,” he gritted out after a while, throwing his bag on the floor and starting to pace the length of the room,

“Ste calm down,” Declan tried, carefully packing a rolled poster up before he approached Ste and held his wrists loosely to stop the pacing,

“I don’t… I don’t wanna _be_ here Dec, I don’t ever wanna be here,” Declan’s face lit up at that, but he masked it with concern quickly after,  
“We’re almost done mate, I’ll get da to help,” he nodded resolutely and Ste sagged onto his battered old armchair for what he figured might be the last time ever.

He felt a world of emotions crush him then, it was stupid but that chair had been through all of this with him, he’d grown up crying in this chair, and that was a painfully lonely thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to cry again. He’d cried too much and he was just tired now, tired and thankful that he was getting away, even if he _was_ leaving his mum to take his place; he felt like maybe he should feel guiltier about that, but she was an adult, she could up and leave whenever she wanted, and people would believe her if she told them what Terry was like. She never would though, Terry was some kind of saint in her eyes, no matter what he did, even when he’d used to hit her more she’d clung onto him hopelessly, like he was the best thing in her life, and she’d stood by and justified what he’d done to her son. Brendan may have been able to dredge up some empathy for her, but Ste would find it easier to bring up bile, he’d never sympathise with her and he’d never forgive her, he was adamant of that.

He sat there staring at nothing for the longest time, bodies moving around him, packing up the last of the meagre remnants of his life, uttering words that never made it through the fog of Ste’s apathy. Brendan soon came into focus though, crouched down in front of him, a warm, reassuring hand finding Ste’s shoulder, squeezing lightly; Ste couldn’t help but let his cheek drop to touch it, staring miserably at Brendan and wishing they were alone, though he wasn’t sure how Brendan would feel about him flinging himself into his arms and begging to be held.

“Steven…” Brendan urged quietly, finger shifting subtly to brush against Ste’s cheek, a gesture that felt intimate and brought Ste out of the gloom he’d settled into, “Steven we have to go,” Ste blinked slowly and lifted his head, looking around to see the abysmal state his room was now in. The posters had been torn down and Ste was reminded of how Terry never _had_ finished decorating this room, plaster bare and rough in some spots, smooth in others, peeled off paper and graffiti interrupting the brown and green of plaster and stripped layers of paint. His bed was left the same, the weathered old bedspread he’d had for years was buried under loaded bags, he was distracted when Brendan’s fingers squeezed his shoulder again, looking at him and offering a small smile.

“Okay…” he muttered, Brendan stood and offered him a hand, taking his wrist when Ste accepted the gesture and pulling him to his feet.

Ste didn’t get the chance to help carry his things out, being ushered ahead of Brendan, though he froze up at the bottom of the stairs when he saw Terry in the living room doorway, bruised and bitter looking, scowling at Ste but saying nothing. Ste swallowed thickly and took a few shaky steps, trying to keep his head from ducking in fear, and to keep his pace even so he didn’t bolt for the door like he desperately wanted to, still terrified that this would all come crashing down around him like some sick joke, but his things were soon in the back of the car with a tired but happy Declan, and he was up front with Brendan, whose hand found Ste’s shoulder once more,

“Let’s go home aye boys?” _home_ , he couldn’t help but grin at that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been asked how many chapters DILF is gonna be, and in my initial planning I had it at 12 I think, but since then a few things have changed (though the end game stays the same) and I've split or condensed content at different times, like in my planning this particular chapter has moved between chapters 5 and 8 about three times before ending up as 7 again due to natural progression etc. Well, enjoy!

Ste got changed out of Declan’s things the moment he got his stuff to his room, dismissing Declan’s help before he went up and unpacking his things on his own, slowly and deliberately, half reluctant to set everything up in case this wasn’t a permanent solution, but he persisted and was almost done when Brendan knocked on the door.

“We’re orderin’ in, you fancy anythin’ in particular?” he asked, arms folded over his chest as he leant in the door frame, Ste continued stacking books up next to the dresser,

“I dunno… pizza or somethin’?” Ste suggested, it was the first thing he could think of, and thinking of food had kicked his stomach into gear and it gave an audible rumble, he’d not eaten since breakfast and had been too busy to go ask for lunch.

“Alright, c’mon we’ll go order, you can finish this later,” he looked Brendan over properly then, enjoying the way his folded arms forced his shirt sleeves tight around his biceps, Brendan was smirking at him and Ste wasn’t sure why, so he gave a shy smile and rounded the bed to approach him. He turned and sidled past him, dangerously close and reaching a hand to trail fingers along the exposed skin of his forearm, feeling soft skin and hair.

He let out a yelp when Brendan moved quickly to pin him against the nearest wall, eternally grateful for the laundry room he had to bypass to get from his room to the actual hallway; Ste had his back to the wall, Brendan’s forearms were pinning his shoulders whilst his hands traced through Ste’s hair, letting out a long breath whilst shaking his head at Ste, clearly disapproving of Ste’s teasing touch. Ste was grinning though, loving the way Brendan’s fingers felt tracing the short hair at the sides of his head, even if it did remind him he needed to shave the sides again; he ignored the thought, because he wanted Brendan to kiss him, licking his lips slowly as he tried to look inviting, Brendan inching ever closer.

“Da? Ste?” Declan’s voice came from downstairs, impatient in tone, but it had Brendan pulling away like a shot once more and Ste silently cursing his best friend’s horrendous timing,

“We should get downstairs,” Brendan said, tone terse as he turned and left Ste stood awkwardly in the laundry room. He let out a huffy sigh and followed after him a short while later, descending to find Declan at the counter with a laptop, tapping away and designing some heinous mutant of a one-man vegetarian pizza.

“God you must be minted for that,” Ste exhaled as he leant on the counter by Declan,

“Da’s payin’, but yeah I’m alright moneywise too,” he said proudly, though Ste wasn’t sure what was so prideful about getting pocket money from two sources instead of one (not that he even got that), he just smiled though, not shifting when Declan moved his left hand and ran his fingers over the back of Ste’s wrist, “how you feelin? You got a bit rattled this morning,” he worried, Ste shrugged a bit, glancing up at Brendan, who seemed transfixed on where Declan’s fingers rested,

“I’m just glad to not be there anymore…” he admitted, “I don’t have to go back right? I’m stoppin’ here with you, right?” he hated how needy he sounded, but it was a question that had eaten at him all day,

“Sort of…” Declan answered, which confused Ste and had him letting out a panicked sounding ‘huh?’ “I live with my mam, remember?” he added quickly, “Just gonna be you an’ da during the week,” he explained, “That’s okay right?” Declan asked, clearly concerned because he still thought Ste was hurt by Brendan’s alleged rejection, he wrapped his fingers around the back of Ste’s hand and gave a gentle squeeze,

“I guess…” Ste turned his gaze to Brendan as he said it, cringing like he wasn’t looking forward to this potential alone time with Brendan. Brendan raised an eyebrow but simply moved to pull the laptop away from Declan to order his own food, the movement making Declan release Ste’s hand in favour of panicking that Brendan was going to go through his files whilst he was ordering pizza.

“Fancy sharin’ Steven?” he asked, “get a large between us, leftovers for whenever you fancy them,” he suggested, Ste nodded,

“Sure, can do,” he wasn’t all there right then, lost in thought as he considered what he and Brendan could get up to without the fear of Declan interrupting or walking in on. He found it hard to hide the stupid smile on his face, brushing it off as just being happy he was safe and _at home_ when Declan asked about it.

 

The pizzas were ordered and arrived in good time, the three of them kicking back and having a laugh as they ate, Brendan even let the two of them crack open a couple of cans, Ste picking lager, Declan picking cider. He’d given them permission to have more throughout the night, celebrate Ste’s “freedom”, but to Ste’s quiet disappointment Brendan had work, though he wasn’t sure what exactly the pros would be of getting drunk with Declan _and_ his father, but his potential absence had Ste fetching another can before he’d finished eating.

“Calm down Steven, I don’t want you hurlin’ in my house,” Brendan laughed when Ste flopped back onto the couch next to Declan and wiggled the ring-pull til it came off, dropping it in his first can,

“Ah I’ll be _fine_ , ain’t chundered over drinkin’ yet,” he admitted easily, he’d never been sick through drinking itself, only through getting a thorough cracking from Terry for coming home drunk. He grew quiet as he thought about that, Declan noticing and startling him back into the present day by touching his arm, “Mh?” he grunted,

“You alright?”

“Fine Dec, leave off,” he didn’t mean to snap and his apology came in the form of grabbing the other teen’s hand when he jerked back, it was a hasty reaction and one he wasn’t sure he meant to do, but he kept a hold of Declan’s hand, settling it between them and taking a long swig from his drink. He avoided looking over at Brendan once he caught a glimpse of the frown settled into the man’s features, feeling guilty for whatever reason. He tucked the can between his knees and grabbed another slice of pizza to focus on something other than Brendan’s eyes on him, but the man was on his feet soon after,

“Well I’d best get sorted for work, you two behave yourselves, don’t drink _too_ much,” he warned and Declan smiled,

“We won’t da, don’t worry,” he grinned,

“Won’t behave or won’t get shitfaced?” Brendan asked,

“Shitfaced,” Declan promised, “though I can’t say how well we’ll behave,” he shrugged innocently, giving Ste’s hand a subtle squeeze and making him nervous about what would happen when Brendan left, and what he might be inclined to _let_ happen.

“Do your best aye lads,” his tone seemed odd and it made Ste even more nervous, because he knew Brendan had noticed Declan’s behaviour towards him, and Ste’s lack of putting him off, but he didn’t know what the man _thought_ of it exactly, and it worried him. Brendan left then and Declan released Ste’s hand and moved their plates and drinks to the coffee table before turning to Ste and looking ready to say something.

“I think I still need a bit of time Dec,” Ste muttered awkwardly and leant to grab his can again, taking a long swig from it to steel his nerves; he didn’t know why he was drawing this out, Declan didn’t deserve to be strung along, but at the same time Ste was worried that if he turned Declan down _wrong_ he’d lose one of his best friends.

“I know, I didn’t think… I just thought you needed… support… like Amy does…” he explained disjointedly, squinting as he tried to find the right words, Ste let out a relieved breath at that, though he didn’t quite believe that that was all Declan was trying to do. It wasn’t that he doubted Declan or didn’t trust him, he just knew first-hand the kind of hope you could get out of a small gesture, and his actions towards Declan were a lot more forward and obvious than when Brendan had first started flirting back, even if he wasn’t sure he meant them.

“Thanks,” he sighed, sagging back against the couch, resting his lager in both hands in his lap, head back and looking up against the ceiling,

“Just wanted to know what you wanted to do,” Declan settled back into a similar position next to Ste, but Ste could feel him looking at him. He thought on the question for a minute or so before turning to face Declan and grinning,

“I wanna get wasted,” he admitted, and Declan laughed,

“Well we can try, da won’t appreciate it though,” he hushed his voice as he spoke, like he was expecting Brendan to come and tell them off for their plans,

“I don’t care,” Ste beamed, scrunching up his nose a little and regretting it when it hurt, “owww,” he whined, “I wanna drink til I can’t feel this anymore,” he pointed at his nose then and did his best to look miserable,

“Well drink up then,” Declan grinned, tapping a finger against Ste’s can before sitting up and grabbing his own.

 

Watching Declan drink turned out to be hilarious, he couldn’t hold his liquor to save his life, so whilst Ste was a bit giddy and incredibly relaxed, Declan was a mess, slurring and gesturing dopily as he rambled on about something Ste hadn’t been keeping track of.  
“Mate you’re well wrecked,” Ste laughed, earning an incredulous look from the other teen,

“M’not… M’Irish, can’t be wrecked,” he protested, giving up and sagging against Ste’s shoulder, “Ste you’re my best mate,” he sighed, “You’re the best…”

“Thanks Dec,” he chuckled, resting his cheek on the top of Declan’s head, he’d slung his arm around him at some point for comfort, so they were pretty close.

“Don’t tell Amy… I mean she knows but don’t tell Amy…” he grumbled, and Ste figured this was where Declan turned into a sulky drunk,   
“Amy knows what?” Ste asked, though he regretted it when Declan answered,

“That I like you a lot… like a lot a lot… but you know that too…” _Amy_ knew, Declan had talked to Amy about being interested in him, which explained why Amy seemed so thrilled that he was spending the night, “she told me t’grow a moustache…” he whined, but Ste wasn’t really paying attention,

“You told _Amy_?” he asked,

“Well yeah… I needed to talk to someone, I couldn’t talk to my mam, you know what she’s like about queers…” he grumbled bitterly, “an’ I can’t whine about how the guy I like would rather shag my da _to my da_ can I?”

“Can’t really whine about it to the guy you like either,” Ste muttered, hoping Declan would take the hint and shut up,

“Sorry… don’t matter now though, my da’s never gonna love you… not like that… he’d rather be your dad,” Declan chuckled to himself, seeing a joke that Ste was obviously missing and trailing off with a yawn, it stung like hell to hear Declan say that, but Ste was sure he hadn’t meant it to be so… harsh…

“I think you need to go to bed mate,” he slipped his arm from Declan’s shoulders and eased away from him, Declan followed though, wanting to remain touching Ste in some way, “ _Dec_ ,” he said, voice a little harsher this time and Declan sluggishly sat up,

“I’m fine…” he slurred,

“You’re pissed, go to bed,” Ste sighed, standing up and turning to face Declan,

“I’m a little bit yeah…” Declan mumbled, looking grumpy when Ste pulled him to his feet, tucking an arm around him in order to help him stagger to the stairs, “maybe I am,” he laughed as he stumbled and almost took Ste to the ground. Ste pushed through though, hefting him upstairs and to Declan’s room, following him inside and letting him flop onto the bed, Declan rolled onto his back and gave Ste a look, “c’mere a sec,” he smiled, propping himself up on his elbows when Ste approached the head of the bed, “I do really like you… an’… I wanna do… I’d do anythin’ for you, you know?” he smiled dopily at Ste, who looked down at the floor guiltily, but he couldn’t help wondering why he was resisting so much, he liked Declan a lot, and he was a sensible choice, he was a great friend, and he’d probably be a great boyfriend too. He looked up to see Declan had lay back down and was struggling to keep awake, watching Ste with that smile on his face, Ste smiled back, leaning down and kissing him side-on, he wanted to see if he felt something, resting his hands on the bed when Declan’s came up to pull him in a little closer. He kept the angle though, not wanting to press his nose as they kissed, it was slow and curious, like they were just trying to learn each other’s mouths, it felt tentative on both their parts, even with Declan three sheets to the wind and Ste fuzzy headed. He eased back and Declan had this hopeful look on his face that made Ste feel conflicted,

“Night Dec…” he uttered, drawing back and trying not to look like he was running off,

“You can stay if you want, I’m not gonna try owt,” Declan promised, but Ste shook his head, he needed to think, preferably with a belly full of alcohol. “Mhkay,” Declan let out, rolling onto his side and nuzzling at his pillow with a smile, Ste wasn’t even out of the room before Declan fell asleep, he was grateful though, with Declan out of commission it meant he could sit and drink alone.

 

He’d started building a can pyramid the longer he drank, he felt stupid for it, drinking because he didn’t know how to deal with what was going on in his life; he was out of a horrible situation and into a confusing one that he wasn’t sure what to do about. On the one hand, Brendan was interested in him, was ready and eager to kiss and touch him as much as Ste wanted him to, but Declan’s words rang in his head and he was reminded of Eoghan, of the rumours of other men, how Brendan went through them and discarded them like nothing. He didn’t want to be one of those men, but he still wanted Brendan; he had no idea what he was trying to do with Declan, wondering if he was trying to hedge his bets or something, maybe fall back on Declan after he finally had his one night stand with the other boy’s dad.

“I’m such a piece of shit…” he admitted to the stack of cans,

“I think you’ve probably just drank too much Steven,” he looked up suddenly, surprised to see Brendan slipping a heavy leather coat off and draping it over a stool, he’d not heard him getting home, too lost in his own thoughts. He watched with wide eyes as Brendan approached and sat next to him, an arm on the back of the couch, body pressing just slightly against Ste, causing the teen to lean against him,

“No I’m okay…” he was drunk, that was for sure, but he was aware and able, he’d been sat _not_ drinking for long enough to start seeing straight again.

“You sure about that?”

“Not nearly as bad as Dec is,” Ste grinned, biting his lip before leaning to kiss Brendan, pouting when he pulled away, “Wot? Dec’s fine he’s gone t’bed,” he explained, hoping it was Brendan’s concern for his son that was stopping this from going anywhere,

“Nothin’ just… you an’ Dec… you looked pretty cosy earlier…” Brendan hummed lowly, easing back in his seat and consequently breaking the contact Ste had with his chest.

“He’s my best mate,” Ste grumbled, “Just like Amy is, right, an’ you’ve seen how me an’ her are,” he was curt as he spoke, annoyed that Brendan was suspicious and reluctant,

“Mhm…” Brendan confirmed, obviously recalling the fact that Ste and Amy still kissed and held hands and were generally physical in their friendship, “Okay… so it’s nothin’… friend stuff…”

“Yeah, don’t see why it’d matter,”

“He’s my son… I care about him, I don’t want to hurt him,” Brendan sighed, “It’d kill me if he just… left… after finally gettin’ him back in my life,” Ste tried to hide his guilt by easing himself closer to Brendan, scooting down the seat so he could rest his head on Brendan’s chest.

“Course, sorry…” he mumbled, still not making any move to come clean, since he still wasn’t sure what the deal was between him and Declan, he should stop it though, if things were going to be like _this_ with Brendan.

 

He let out a disappointed hum of a noise when Brendan’s arm moved and he was eased away from the warm chest he’d pressed himself to, “Don’t worry, I’m comin’ back,” Brendan chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of Ste’s head as he was standing up. Ste gave a quiet sigh and sat up properly, rubbing his face with one hand before taking the last swig from his can and adding it to the stack, surprised when Brendan handed him another before sitting next to him again. Brendan pulled him close and he tucked his head under Brendan’s chin, and for a long while they just sat there drinking together, it was nice but it puzzled Ste, who wondered where their usual passion was; he knew it was a bit early to say they had a ‘usual’ anything, but Brendan had even admitted he had trouble keeping his hands off of Ste, a fact which Ste loved. He started to worry that there was something Brendan wanted to say, so he sucked in a breath and decided to broach the likely subject himself,

“Well?” he felt Brendan’s head turn, cheek pressed to Ste’s hair, “Aren’t you gonna ask?”

“Ask what?” Brendan hummed, he sounded tired but content,

“ _Why’d you let him do that to you Steven? Why didn’t you tell anyone Steven? How long has it been happening Steven? Why did he start hitting you Steven?_ ” he mocked Brendan’s accent as he spoke, he didn’t mean to but Brendan took it well with a quiet huff of a laugh into his hair.

“No,” Brendan answered with a shrug, Ste frowned then,

“Really? You’re not curious?”

“You don’t have an answer,” Brendan lifted his head and Ste looked up at him, meeting his gaze and feeling for the first time like he wasn’t so much of a puzzle any more, especially not about this,

“You sound pretty sure…” Ste looked down at his can, flicking the tab so it made a quiet ‘tink’ noise before wiggling it off and tossing it onto the coffee table. Brendan didn’t answer, just hummed, and Ste realised that Brendan was right, he _didn’t_ have an answer, he wasn’t even sure how long it had been happening, because as far back as he could remember, Terry had been physical in his scolding. He let out a sigh and leant against Brendan’s shoulder again, smiling to himself when Brendan’s cheek pressed against his hair, full on grinning when he felt and heard the press of lips there too. “So what does this make you?” he asked, stopping his idle drumming on the can in favour of running his fingers over the back of Brendan’s right hand where it had come to rest on his thigh,

“Don’t know…” Brendan gave a minor shrug, “never liked the word ‘boyfriend’ if I’m honest,” Ste felt his cheeks burn at that,

“Well that wasn’t what I meant,” he blurted, burying his face in Brendan’s shoulder and regretting it when his nose throbbed painfully. He felt the arm Brendan had around him squeeze him close, another kiss planted in his hair, and Brendan’s fingers soon spread and lifted, brushing between Ste’s fingers and linking them loosely, intimately.

“Not what you expected Steven?” Ste had to lean forward and place his drink on the table, he didn’t want it, he just wanted to sit with Brendan for a while,

“Are you ever?” Ste looked up at him then, licking his lips as he dopily admired the handsome face inches from his own,

“I guess not…” Brendan admitted, smile turning suggestive as he looked Ste up and down, “c’mere,” Brendan lifted his chin briefly to invite him closer. Ste smirked and pushed himself up to close the gap and kiss him, not as careful about his nose but drunk enough for the pain to be bearable, just wanting to feel Brendan consuming him. Brendan didn’t disappoint, shifting to hold the back of Ste’s neck as the kiss heated up and they practically devoured each other; Ste couldn’t help but think about his kiss with Declan, how tentative and curious it had been, a learning experience for the two of them, but when Brendan kissed him it was _more_ somehow, like Brendan knew him inside and out, and the way he’d looked at him when he’d opted not to ask the usual questions backed that.

Brendan pulled away and gave him an odd look, “Startin’ to think you might be a bit too drunk Steven,” he chuckled, though he looked serious about it,

“No I’m… I was just thinkin’…” he admitted,

“About?” Brendan prompted, but Ste didn’t want to fess up about thinking about Declan just then, so he shrugged and gave a wicked smirk, he knew what he wanted now and thought he could push for it.

“Just… wonderin’ something,” he caught his tongue between his teeth and hoped Brendan would take the bait,

“Go on…” he urged as he leant close to Ste’s face, ghosting his lips across Ste’s cheekbone,

“Wondering right… how you’d react knowin’ I’ve _absolutely_ fingered myself thinkin’ about you ramming me,” he whispered hot into the ear Brendan offered him, Brendan pulled back to meet his gaze, eyes dark and a quiet _‘Jesus’_ escaping his lips. Ste wasn’t lying, he’d only done it the once, but he’d thought about it being Brendan the whole time, face buried in his pillows as he tried to keep quiet. “Thing is though… it was well frustrating… cause how many fingers would I need for _you_? You won’t even let me near it, so I dunno do I?” he asked, he was actually puzzling over this now, which meant he’d probably not sobered up as much as he originally thought. Brendan didn’t answer him, in fact he was staring at Ste in a way that drew Ste from his errant thoughts and made him start to feel like a hot mess; he moved then, pushing up onto his knees and straddling Brendan’s lap, Brendan’s hands moved to his hips and Ste worried he was going to get pushed away. He hid the fear though, leaning in and kissing Brendan hotly, “I settled on three, if you was wonderin’,” he breathed between them, uncomfortably hard as the memory of his fantasy came flooding back,

“Steven you’re drunk…” Brendan protested quietly, eyes closed as he pressed a light kiss to Ste’s lips despite himself,

“I want you when I’m sober, you know that,” Ste murmured, pressing their foreheads together as they continued to exchange tiny kisses,

“Declan… he’s upstairs… he’s your best mate… my son…” Brendan tried, resolve crumbling because Ste knew he wanted this as much as Ste did, maybe even more.

“He doesn’t need to know, I won’t say owt, plus he’s out cold, dead to the world,” Ste promised, running his fingers absently down Brendan’s chest, loving how his shirt was unbuttoned enough to show off thick hair,

“You’re too young… it’s illegal…” it was Brendan’s final defence and it was pretty weak, given how much he’d touched and kissed and blown Ste already, plus it wasn’t _actually_ illegal,

“I’m seventeen,” the white lie passed his lips and Brendan shoved him onto the couch and descended upon him, kissing him hotly and pulling the teen’s t-shirt up to expose skin to roaming hands.

 

Ste let out a low whine when Brendan pulled away from the kiss, pushing up onto his elbows when the Irishman stood up,

“No, Bren no c’mon I want this, please,” he pleaded, cheeks colouring as he started to doubt himself,

“Not here… get up,” Brendan urged and Ste’s face lit up as he accepted the offered hand and followed Brendan upstairs and into the master bedroom.

Ste’s heart was in his throat as the bedroom door clicked closed, Brendan pulling Ste’s t-shirt up over his head and tossing it aside before kissing him again and pressing tight against him; there was a thud as Ste’s back his the door and Brendan stilled their messy, needy kissing to a slow and easy drag of mouths and tongues. It was obvious to Ste that Brendan was listening for any signs of a teenager waking up down the hall, but things soon heated up again and Ste found himself pulling at Brendan’s deep red shirt, soon working the buttons loose and pushing the shirt off his shoulders, helping him out of it and tossing it on top of his discarded t-shirt. Brendan broke the kiss and stepped back, leaving Ste to feel like the prize as Brendan’s eyes raked over him,

“You like?” he asked, cocky, biting his lip, smirking behind Brendan’s hushing gesture when a finger pressed to his lips, he couldn’t help himself, tongue slipping out to give the near-callous free finger a lick, opening his mouth to allow the tip inside when Brendan applied pressure.

He was all bravado on the outside, but inside he was thrumming with excitement and nerves; he was all talk when it came to his sex life, and the most truthful he’d been about it was with Brendan earlier. He’d fingered himself, and that was the furthest he’d gone with a man before Brendan, and the man he’d gone with was himself, so it didn’t count at all. He didn’t let his inexperience show though, licking his lips when Brendan’s hand moved to hold his face, drawing him into a kiss, open mouthed and filthy as his other hand grabbed a handful of the teen’s arse, using this leverage to grind his obvious hard on against Ste’s. Ste slung one arm around Brendan, the other toying with the cross nestled in the hair on Brendan’s chest, fingers shaking as this all became so unbelievably real and sobriety hit him like a ton of bricks.

He still wanted this though, maybe even more so as he grew intoxicated with lust for man kissing him instead, he pushed against Brendan to get them away from the door, amazed that he managed to keep quiet as Brendan turned them and threw him bodily onto the bed. He lay there, legs spreading on instinct, watching with wide eyes as Brendan stood at the end of the bed, slowly unfastening his belt and dropping it onto the floor.

“Take your clothes off Steven…” Brendan growled and Ste didn’t need to be told twice, tackling the buttons of his jeans and lifting his ass off the bed to shove them down and kick them off, leaving him in just his socks and his boxers. Brendan let out a chuckle at the sight and Ste felt ridiculously self-conscious, these were his favourite pants, and his best ones, mostly because they were the newest ones he had; they’d been a joke present from Amy after the whole ‘King of the DILFs’ comment, white and patterned with curly moustaches.

“Wot?” he huffed, Brendan shook his head as if to say ‘nothing’ and opting to not only drop trou, but shoving his own boxers down and off too, exposing his thick, upright cock, Ste let out an exhale through pursed lips as he stared at it, transfixed by the casual slide of Brendan’s hand as he touched himself.

 

Brendan was all smug swagger when he stepped towards the bed, releasing his prick and climbing on top of Ste, crowding him down into the bedding and smiling down at him as he braced himself on one arm and touched a hand to the wet patch at the tent of Ste’s boxers, groping him for the most fleeting of moments before moving to push his thumb under the waistband and pulling them down enough to expose Ste’s cock to the air and his half-lidded gaze.

“You can’t imagine how much I’ve wanted this…” he whispered, closing the gap and kissing Ste, a feather light touch that had his moustache tickling Ste’s skin, but the tickle was almost unnoticed, overshadowed by the feeling of a sure hand wrapping around his cock and giving him a gentle squeeze.

“I can try,” Ste gasped, pushing up to give Brendan a return kiss, head falling back immediately afterwards when Brendan ran his fingertips along the underside of his prick, “shit,” he cussed, cussing again when Brendan’s mouth covered his and the older man shifted to line their cocks up, pressing them together with one hand, slicking his palm over the sensitive heads of their pricks, wetting them with adolescent precum and stroking them a few times.

“It’s been so hard,” he said between kisses, “wanting to fuck you,” he mouthed at Ste’s jaw and Ste had to stuff his fingers into his mouth to supress his needy little moans, “You been driving me crazy,” Ste soaked up his words eagerly, his ego getting as many strokes as his dick was,

“Yeah well…” he gasped, fingers wet as they brushed the pillow, “fuck me then,” he let out a low moan when Brendan twisted his wrist and drew his hand up the length of their cocks.

“Well, I can’t say no to that,” Brendan chuckled softly, hot breaths puffing against Ste’s throat; he released their pricks, slipping his cum wet fingers past the bunched fabric of Ste’s boxers and further back, making Ste gasp with damp, probing fingertips against his asshole.

He covered his mouth with a hand as Brendan’s finger applied pressure and his asshole accepted the intrusion with some nervous tensing,

“Brendan…” he whispered through his fingers, he didn’t know what he wanted to say, ‘be gentle’? ‘You’re my first’? ‘Destroy me’? Instead he said nothing, feeling Brendan’s fingertip slip out of him, the older man kissing the back of his hand lightly before climbing up the bed to the side table, leaving Ste to lie panting on the bedding, lowering his hand from his mouth to toy with his dick as he peered over at Brendan, watching his bare ass as he rooted around in a drawer. “This bed is well lush,” Ste observed at the brief lull in their activity, releasing his prick in favour of pulling off his boxers and rolling onto his stomach, crawling to drape himself across Brendan’s back, chin to his shoulder so he could peer into the drawer.

“Keep your voice down,” Brendan hissed over his shoulder, but the scathing tone slipped to an appreciative hum as Ste rolled his hips and rubbed a wet stripe of precum across Brendan’s skin, “And get off me you horny git,” he chuckled lowly, pushing Ste off of him with an elbow once he’d found what he was looking for, digging out the condoms and lube from beneath layers of folded vests. Ste rolled onto his back and eagerly accepted Brendan’s weight between his legs, kicking back and folding his arms behind his head and watching him expectantly, his confidence had bubbled up again and with Brendan’s fingers slicked in lube, he was more at ease with the cold wet digits massaging his asshole, gasping when Brendan pushed one finger in up to the second knuckle and then withdrew it before easing another in alongside it. The just about familiar pain subsided surprisingly fast once Brendan leant down and caught him in an open mouthed kiss, biting at his lip and grunting hotly into his mouth, he sounded so _feral_ when he kissed and it all went straight to Ste’s dick, trapped under Brendan’s belly, the soft hair there adding a new layer of pleasure to the friction.

He didn’t keep his hands behind his head for long, wrapping his arms around Brendan and holding him close, rolling his hips desperately trying to get Brendan’s fingers deeper inside him, Brendan obliged as their lips parted and he lightly bit Ste’s chin, fingers pushing deep into Ste so his thumb was pressed neat against the sensitive skin behind Ste’s balls, soon withdrawing them and fucking them back into him.

“Bren,” Ste huffed, cheeks flushed and eyes glazed as he matched the lust in Brendan’s gaze, he was sixteen and had about as much self-control as a frisky rabbit, so the litany of curses that escaped him when Brendan curled his fingers _just so_ were about as much warning as he could give the older man before striping their stomachs white, the spasm of his hips smearing his hot come between them. “Shit, shit I’m sorry,” he gasped, soon shoving his fingers into his mouth, cheeks hot with embarrassment,

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Brendan chuckled into Ste’s throat, moving to press a kiss to the corner of Ste’s mouth where it stretched around his own knuckles, “Strappin’ young lad like you? You’ll have it up again in no time,” he assured with a wink, slipping his fingers from Ste’s asshole and pressing a third into him, holding still whilst Ste’s legs came up and wrapped around him, letting the teen relax into the covers and get a lazy lusty look on his face before he moved them.

 

It wasn’t long before Ste proved Brendan right, with fingers fucking him deep and Brendan knelt up, toying with his own prick whilst Ste stared at him and tried not to moan too loudly through his hands, both of which were now clamped over his mouth as his dick stood upright, sensitive and slick with his own come.

“Please,” Ste gasped, toes curling when Brendan slid his fingers free and tore into a condom packet, rolling it on and giving himself a few quick strokes, this was it, this was Ste’s big moment, his First Time, at anal anyway, and it was with _Brendan fucking Brady_ , a thirty four year old man he’d been fantasising about non-stop for _months_ , even when he was scared of him, he was about to get nailed by his biggest fantasy. He closed his eyes at the dull press of Brendan’s cock against his wet hole, letting out shaky breaths through his fingers, just trying to focus on the feeling of something _so_ different to fingers easing in past his rim. He felt Brendan’s hand on his, easing them from over his mouth so soft lips could press to his, the tickle of hair against his upper lip making him smile into the kiss, wrapping his arms once more around Brendan and sucking in a sharp breath when Brendan pushed into him, a slow, tight, uncomfortable slide of a few inches. It hurt, the full stretch caused by Brendan’s prick, but Brendan’s mouth was a hot, welcome distraction on his, lulling him into relaxing enough for the pain to subside and that deep rooted pleasure he’d toyed with on his own to coax him into pushing his ass against Brendan, trying to take him deeper.

Brendan smiled into his mouth and obliged his hunger for more, slowly pushing, stopping and starting, until Ste felt pubic hair pressing against his ass, so full of cock he knew he wasn’t dreaming this,

“Fuck me,” he rasped, biting Brendan’s bottom lip before melting into the pillows and staring hungrily up at him, teeth bared in his cheeky smile.

“Gladly,” Brendan smirked, bracing his forearm on the bed to the side of Ste’s head, fingers reaching to lace into the longer hair whilst his other arm manoeuvred Ste’s leg up, pushing his flexibility and opening Ste up to the slow building pace of Brendan’s thrusts.

It felt _so_ much better than his fingers, dick trapped between them, Brendan fucking him slowly, building up a steady rhythm whilst the arm pushing his leg up rested in a way that it was easy for Brendan to start fisting Ste’s cock in time. He wanted to cry out, to beg and plead and hiss hot and breathless ‘yes’s, but the first noise he made got muffled by Brendan’s hand and a dangerous look in the older man’s eye, hips snapping faster in some sort of bizarre punishment that had Ste trying to figure out how to get him to do it again.

 

He’d done _something_ right, because Brendan’s control slipped and he began fucking Ste like he’d only dreamed of, leaving them a hot mess of entangled limbs, alternating between moaning into each other’s mouths and Ste whining against Brendan’s palm whilst Brendan bit his shoulder hard enough to bruise. He loved it though, the sting in his flesh and the way Brendan’s palm made breathing hard enough to burn his lungs before releasing him long enough to gulp down the shared air of their kiss. Brendan’s other hand was still wrapped around Ste’s cock and the teen was struggling to keep his shit together, digging his nails into Brendan’s back as he arched off of the bedding once more, body clamping down on Brendan’s cock, slowing the drag out and making the thrust back in kick his orgasm to a new high, Brendan made sure to seal his mouth with a kiss this time, swallowing the noises before they fully formed and had the chance to escape. Brendan’s hand slicked his come down Ste’s spent prick, still jacking his now sensitive cock as he fucked into him with a few more deliberate thrusts before his body tensed against Ste and he moaned low into his mouth.

“Fuck…” Ste gasped as their lips parted, stretching out beneath Brendan and grinning lazily up at him, tuckered out from the thorough dicking he’d just gotten, “That was mint,” he hummed, stretching up to kiss Brendan before the older man pulled out and rolled to his side.

“mhm…” was the response, Ste watching as Brendan knotted the used condom, climbed off the bed and strolled shamelessly naked towards the en suite door, tossing the condom into the bin in the corner without looking. Ste was awed by that, gawking openly and rolling to root around in the top drawer for the box of condoms Brendan had stashed there, tearing one from the strip and closing his eyes, tongue sticking out in concentration as he tried to lob it across the room. He’d gone through five condoms before figuring out the packets were catching air and tried throwing a clustered strip of them instead, having a silent celebratory flail when they went in, even if they did string out and drape over the side of it.

There was a chuckle from the doorway and Ste felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment,

“Once you’re done trashin’ my bedroom,” Brendan rumbled as he closed the door behind him, idly using a small wet square towel to wipe at his prick and stomach, he sauntered over then, climbing onto the bed without taking his eyes off of Ste, “clean yourself up,” he threw the towel at Ste and flopped onto the bed beside him, all his predatory grace gone in his post-coital lethargy.

 

Ste cleaned up quickly and scooted to the edge of the bed, the movement hurting his ass a little, he let out a quiet ‘oop’ when an arm crossed his chest and he was pulled back onto the bed and flush against Brendan’s front, the covers being thrown over him as Brendan buried his nose in the short hair on the back of his head and inhaled deeply.

“Hiya,” Ste giggled,

“H’lo,” Brendan muffled against the back of his neck, arms wrapping around Ste’s waist and holding him close,

“Thought you’d want me gone,” Ste mumbled, feeling self-conscious as he thought about how quickly Brendan had kicked Eoghan out, and probably went through the same thing with the string of anonymous men he brought home, the thought making him nervous.

“Not yet…” Brendan grumbled, falling quiet after that, at least until his breathing changed to show he’d fallen asleep, Ste was grinning like an idiot, he wasn’t sure if this meant something or if Brendan just liked a cuddle before he kicked people out of his bed, but he was pressed flush to the first man he’d ever slept with, warm and sated even if there was a dull ache in his ass now, it felt good. He rolled over and Brendan grumbled sleepily at him, rolling onto his back and wrapping an arm around Ste when the teen cuddled up to his side, head on his chest, listening quietly to his heartbeat until he too drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the delay, been a stressful two weeks being back at work along with a (thankfully brief) bout of depression, should be getting back to your regular sat/sun updates from now on. Thanks for your patience.

Ste was rudely awoken an hour or so later by a sharp pinch to his ass, a mouth quickly covering own and stifling the indignant cuss he tried to let out, he relaxed into the kiss, licking lazily into the hot mouth on his, the feel of a moustache against his skin reminding him just who he was in bed with. He grinned sleepily when they parted,

“Mornin’,” he mumbled, “What time is it?” he asked, Brendan looking past him,

“Almost five,” Ste frowned at that,

“Right, well I’m goin’ back to sleep then thanks,” Ste chuckled, closing his eyes and going to wriggle closer to Brendan, frowning when Brendan’s hand held his shoulder and shook him,

“Not here you’re not,” Brendan urged, he didn’t sound harsh or unkind, but Ste’s feeling of bliss faltered hard-core and he opened his eyes to give Brendan a confused look,

“Huh?” he let out, swallowing nervously, terrified he was just another one night stand,

“As much as I’d like to keep you here,” Brendan inched close again then, pulling Ste’s hips to press his apparent _interest_ against the teen’s morning wood, “the longer you stay, the more likely it is Deccy’ll catch us,” he grimaced and Ste let out a mournful sigh, he was right about that,

“Aright…” he sulked, rolling out of bed and hunting down his boxers, pulling them on quickly and piling his clothes into his arms.

He didn’t expect Brendan to follow him, but the man had donned his own boxers and rushed to step in front of Ste, squinting down the corridor before gesturing for Ste to follow him out; they stepped into the small laundry room that separated Ste’s room from the hallway, Brendan taking Ste’s wrist and turning him to press his back against the door, closing it,

“When can I see you like this again?” he asked, touching his forehead to Ste’s before pressing a light kiss to his lips,

“Well accordin’ to you lot, I live here now, don’t I?” Ste whispered, biting his lip as he smiled at Brendan,

“Yeah… yeah you do…” Brendan trailed a finger carefully down Ste’s chest, bypassing the bundle of clothes in Ste’s arms in favour of tracing the waistband of his boxers, tucking his finger under the elastic and running the back of his finger across Ste’s hip a few times, “good…” he murmured, the two sharing another oddly chaste kiss before Brendan stepped back and nodded for Ste to get into his room, Ste gave him a quick smile before stepping back towards him and giving him another kiss,

“Sure you don’t wanna come in quick?” he asked, even with the brief travel he was still sporting wood and Brendan hadn’t exactly softened up either.

“ _Steven_ ,” he smiled, “We’re pushing it already,” he seemed reluctant, but he eased around Ste and reached for the door, he seemed to change his mind though, opting to smack Ste’s ass sharply and pull the door open with the other hand. Ste dropped his clothes on the floor as he covered his mouth with one hand and grabbed the stinging cheek with the other, fuming when he turned to scowl at Brendan, “Goodnight Steven,” the older man smirked as he pulled the door closed.

He stood rubbing his backside where he’d been hit, pouting miserably and half expecting Brendan to pop back in, but he never did, so he scooped his clothes back up and carried them into his room, dumping them on the floor before climbing into bed. He stretched out lazily on his back, yawning as his muscles ached, it felt good though, and it kind of reminded him of how he used to feel the morning after they won a game, starting to get sore but blissed out. He smiled dopily and ran his hand over the empty space beside him, wishing he was still curled up next to Brendan but managing to doze off anyway.

 

His stomach woke him up, along with a stupid amount of pain in his face, but his stomach was the more pressing issue, grumbling angrily at him as he slowly sat up; he winced as he did, feeling the reminder of his night with Brendan, it caused him to smile to himself, oddly thrilled by the mild discomfort he felt when he moved. He pushed off of the bed and found himself a pair of cottony jogging bottoms, pulling them on carefully before edging out of his room, he checked Brendan’s room, the door was open and the room was pristine, like nobody had been there at all, let alone fucked there. He padded down the hallway and nudged Declan’s door open, seeing the teen on his belly, smiling to himself as he slept heavily; Ste kept on smirking to himself and headed downstairs, hearing the quick fall of footsteps on a treadmill but bypassing the home gym, he wanted pizza, _then_ he’d find Brendan, and hopefully Declan would still be zonked out when he did.

He was waiting impatiently for the microwave to heat up a couple of slices when arms wrapped around him and a searing body pressed flush to his back, he could feel sweat dampening his skin even through the thin vest Brendan wore, a useless barrier between their skin.

“Steven,” Brendan greeted, one hand resting on Ste’s bare abdomen whilst the other pushed down past the waistband of his jogging bottoms, groping him through his boxers, Ste leant back against him and closed his eyes, ignoring the beeping of the microwave in favour of rocking his hips into Brendan’s touch, hands resting on the counter.

“Mornin’…” he hummed happily, tilting his head back against Brendan’s shoulder, surprised but welcoming the kiss that Brendan pressed to his mouth, deepening it with a push of tongue. Brendan’s hand came up to press against his neck and cheek, keeping him in place whilst the kiss got messy and heated, all tongue and teeth as they breathed into one another, the throaty sounds that escaped the older man went straight to the teen’s prick. Ste had to pull away though, nose bumping Brendan’s and spiking pain, “Ow,” he sulked, hating that he was the reason they’d stopped kissing, hating it more when Brendan’s hand stilled.

“You okay?” he asked, pressing a kiss to the corner of Ste’s mouth carefully,

“Nose,” Ste huffed as an explanation, Brendan smiling and brushing his fingers along Ste’s jaw, no longer forcing the teen to turn to him,

“It’ll heal,” he assured, pressing a light kiss to Ste’s temple instead, hand beginning to shift on Ste’s covered dick again, squeezing and stroking and running the risk of invoking a mess.

“Brendan,” Ste gasped as Brendan’s thumb rubbed fabric against the slit of his prick, the slight roughness was torture but it felt _great_ , especially with Brendan pressing his own hard on against Ste’s back, Ste honestly didn’t know where to push. Brendan pushed past the fabric separating hand from cock, fisting his cock and jerking him off with more determination now, no longer a lazy, casual fondling and Ste began to fuck into Brendan’s fist. His hands slipped from the counter and he reached back to curl his fingers in Brendan’s vest at his sides, leaning back on him again and wishing he could turn and bury his face into the man’s neck, to inhale the scent of sweat and faded antiperspirant and _Brendan_.

He was glad he had Brendan to lean on as he came, knees practically giving up as he covered Brendan’s hand with his cum, ruining any chances of him being able to continue wearing his moustachioed boxers. He’d somehow managed to suppress his cry, letting out a shuddering, breathless moan as he sagged against the older man, smiling when Brendan mouthed at his neck and left little wet patches on his skin. Brendan’s hand left his cock and withdrew from his pants, the man stopping his open mouthed kisses to Ste’s neck in favour of looking at the mess Ste had made of his hand. Ste sucked in a breath and held it, remembering the way Brendan had hungrily lapped cum off of his fingers in the locker room, wondering if he was about to do it again, but his hopes were dashed by a clatter upstairs and some angry swearing. Brendan jerked away from him like a shot, rushing to the sink and washing his hands hastily, leaving Ste to make like he _hadn’t_ creamed his pants and forgotten about his pizza.

 

They acted as normal as they could for a good five minutes without sign of Declan, their panic had been for nothing and Ste’s cum felt a lot less fun now it was dampening his boxers as he sat eating his lukewarm pizza. He’d regretted heating it up now, because Brendan was throwing together one hell of a fry up, well, two different types, half the pans on the hob were full of vegetarian alternatives, but Ste liked the look of what Brendan was preparing for himself.

“You want some Steven?” he asked offhandedly,

“I’ve got this…” Ste sighed miserably as stringy cheese clung to his finger and he tried to chew the warm goo off,

“You’re welcome to more you know,” Brendan pointed out, and it sounded a little odd, “this is your home now and you’re welcome to whatever you want, whether it’s food, the gym, or hair product, I don’t care, use it,” he shrugged,

“Well…” Ste mumbled, he felt a bit self-conscious, like Brendan suspected he had been underfed at home, which wasn’t exactly _false_ , “Amy says I’ve got hollow legs, I guess I could probably go for some o’ that,” he forced a grin and made a bit of a show of blatantly eyeing Brendan up,

“The fry up too?” Brendan smirked, and Ste felt like the man was _letting_ his evasion go, rather than missing the fact that it was there in the first place. He nodded and slid off his seat, walking a little awkwardly as he went to dump the crusts in the bin and place the plate next to the ones Brendan had put out on the side.

“You really need to stop ruinin’ my boxers,” Ste sighed, pulling at the crotch of said boxers and grimacing,

“ _You_ ruined those,” Brendan hummed matter-of-factly,

“Wha… piss off…” Ste huffed, folding his arms across his bare chest as he leant a hip against the counter. He gave Brendan a narrowed look but Brendan had this half smile on his face that made Ste melt a little inside, he couldn’t help but grin back, he was about to move and kiss Brendan, but thought better of it, deciding to return to the counter and sit down, drumming his fingers on the surface as he watched Brendan plating up three breakfasts.

He knew he was staring, but he was just appreciating that muscular back under the thin vest Brendan had worn to work out in; it was hard for him to believe he’d slept with the man standing before him, that this drop dead gorgeous bloke had been his _first_ , he wanted to boast about it, but there wasn’t anyone he could safely tell, and he didn’t want to annoy Brendan by being too full on. He also didn’t want to admit to Brendan that he’d been a virgin up until the Irishman had laid hands on him, he wasn’t _ashamed_ , he just thought it would scare him off, he was already so weird about Ste’s age as it was.

“Declan!” Brendan’s shout brought Ste back into reality, he’d zoned out thinking about Brendan that it hadn’t really registered that Brendan had turned and placed a plate of food and some cutlery in front of him, eyes just following the older man as he headed to the door to shout up to Declan to draw him downstairs.

 

Ste was tucking into his second breakfast eagerly when Declan finally dragged himself downstairs, and he wasn’t a happy bunny, that much was clear,

“Ugh stop shoutin’…” Declan groaned, clutching his head as he dropped into the seat next to Ste, the noise he made when Brendan put food in front of him had Ste leaning away and dragging his plate a few inches with him,

“Er don’t boke on me breakfast Dec,”

“Talk quieter,” Declan hissed, “Da I can’t eat this…” Declan whined,

“I cooked it in separate shit like you said last time,” Brendan grunted as he sat down on the other side of Ste and began shovelling his own food into his mouth,

“I feel sick… I think I’m dyin’…” Declan groaned, pressing his face into the counter next to his plate, obviously relishing in the cool surface.

“How much did he drink?” Brendan asked Ste, not covering his mouth as he continued chewing food,

“I dunno… less than me…” Ste had sobered up pretty well before sleeping, so he wasn’t having the same issue as he best friend,

“Christ… he’s a light weight…” Brendan sighed, he didn’t sound angry, in fact there was a hint of amusement in his voice as he said it, “Deccy, you’re hungover,” Brendan said slowly, sounding apologetic that he had to be the one to give Declan the bad news. He’d leant closer to Ste to say it, and with Declan face down and eyes closed on the counter, he took a chance and ran his fingers across the back of Ste’s hand lightly, shifting back and returning his attention to his food a moment later.

“But I’m Irish…” Declan mumbled grumpily, and Ste had to laugh at that,

“Yeah I thought the Irish were well good at drinkin’,” he was louder than he meant to be, and Declan let out a miserable sob in response, but Brendan stopped eating,

“Yeah but Deccy’s mam’s a Northerner ain’t she,” Brendan gestured at Declan like he was dirty for being part Northern, but Ste was just confused.

“Northerner? I though she was Irish…” he frowned,

“ _Northern_ _Irish_ Steven, as in from the Northern part of Ireland, the reason why ‘The UK’ is a term, don’t they teach you this stuff in school?” he pointed at Ste with his fork, looking sceptical.

“Wot like they teach me shit at school, they all think I’m thick don’t they, you heard Lynsey, them pricks think I’m a lost cause,” he bit out, stuffing food in his mouth in the hopes of  signalling that was the end of that conversation.

 

It worked to an extent, the conversation died down but he could feel Brendan’s eyes on him, and he didn’t dare look for fear of it being some level of concern about how defeated he’d sounded about his intelligence. It wasn’t the first time it had come up and last time Ste had been saved by Declan’s warning look, but this time Declan was hungover and miserable, and ready to slouch off to bed again once he’d choked down his food, so Ste felt like something was going to come up.

When Declan did finally leave, Brendan said nothing, and Ste was hopeful that would remain the case, figuring he’d avoid it entirely by running off for a shower and a change of clothes, startling when he returned to his room in a towel and found Brendan sat on his bed, waiting for him. He took a moment to recover from the surprise before pulling the door closed and giving Brendan a bit of a display by dropping his towel, hoping this was _that_ kind of visit. He was disappointed when Brendan turned his gaze away, finding the clothes Ste had set out for himself and tossing the clean (if slightly weathered) boxers to him, but he missed the catch and let them fall to the floor,

“Put some clothes on Steven,” he insisted, still not looking at Ste. Ste let out a huff and crouched to pick up the boxers, pulling them on as he stood up, disappointed that Brendan had some other motivation for catching him fresh out of the shower.

“What d’you want?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest impatiently, waiting for Brendan to speak,

“Do you have a lot of trouble in school?”

“UGH!” Ste let out in annoyance, gesturing loosely before balling his hands into his hair, he didn’t want this conversation with anyone, let alone Brendan,

“Steven I’m just concerned here, school’s importa—“

“Shut up, just… shut up okay? It’s none of yer business alright?” he interrupted, “Besides what happened to ‘oh I went straight into work from school’? School ain’t important,”

“Steven I at least _finished_ school,” Brendan gave him a hard stare and Ste bristled, he imagined this was what it was like to be told off by a parent who _didn’t_ want to kick your head in, and he didn’t like it any more than he liked what Terry did when it came to Ste’s school life.

“Big whoop for you, yer not thick like me,” he grumbled, arms folded again,

“Steven…” Brendan stood slowly, approaching Ste and resting his hands on Ste’s arms, just above his elbows, he rubbed his thumbs on the soft flesh at the inside of Ste’s arms, “Steven look at me,”

“Right just leave off… I don’t wanna talk about it… you’re not my dad… you’re… you can’t play dad with me…” he mumbled, feeling unsure,

“I’m not tryin’ to, c’mere,” he moved a hand, touching Ste’s hairline and tracing down to his jaw, turning his face so Ste was looking at him. They shared a short, intimate kiss and Ste felt himself relaxing, lowering his defences and feeling infinitely more at ease, “I just want you to know we can talk about this,” he brushed his thumb against Ste’s cheek and Ste leant into the touch,

“Nothin’ to talk about,” Ste dismissed,

“Okay, okay nothin’ to talk about…” Brendan agreed quietly, “but when there is, you know where I am,” he thumbed at Ste’s lip briefly before backing away, Ste was sort of grateful for the distance, he wasn’t in the mood for anything more than their brief touching anymore.

“You’re goin’?” Ste asked, beginning to fidget,

“Well, I should go see if Deccy’s still alive,” Brendan chuckled, “but then there’s somethin’ in my way,” he was smirking then, giving Ste a thorough look over before stepping towards him again, this time reaching and trailing fingers down his stomach, over fading bruises,

“nuh-uh,” Ste denied with a hand on Brendan’s, “not these pants, I’ll run out,” he laughed,

“Then take them off,” was Brendan’s bright solution to that one, but Ste felt mixed, not to mention sore, his shower had soothed some aches and awoken others.

“I don’t… I don’t want to…” he admitted, feeling guilty for denying Brendan, but Brendan’s touch left his skin and his confused look was answered with one of acknowledgement as Brendan stepped back once more,

“You should get dressed, oh and by the way, Lynsey called, she’s willing to explain your absence if you need a bit of time off,” he seemed oddly aloof, like he hadn’t just made a pass at Ste, which was something Ste needed to learn to do himself, so as to not arouse suspicion.

“Oh… alright…” he nodded, ducking away from the door and going to his clothes, pausing when Brendan reached out and pushed a hand through his hair, it was tender and brief, Ste didn’t even have a chance to turn before the door clicked shut and he was on his own.

 

He remained alone for most of the day, getting dressed and sitting cross-legged on the bed, his school bag upturned in front of him, its contents were spread out in disarray. Atop the pile of vandalised text books and doodled in notebooks was the crumpled letter he was supposed to hand over to his parents _weeks_ ago, he’d meant to throw it away, he _should_ have, knowing his backpack wasn’t exactly safe from potential prying, not that it mattered, they’d been mailed a letter just like it and everything had gone to hell. He shook the thought from his head and looked down at the words on the paper, he knew what they said, he’d read it a hundred times, could probably even recite it at this point, not that he needed to, he’d had the rant first hand from his teacher.

He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he _should_ talk to Brendan, but he wasn’t sure what he’d be able to do, he was just _bad_ at English, he’d revised to hell and back and still ended up with an ungraded.

He heard the laundry room door open and screwed up the letter, tossing it forcefully across the room and watching it hit the chest of drawers and fall behind it, then there was a knock at the door and it cracked open to reveal Declan,

“Hey mate,” Declan greeted groggily, he still looked rough as shit at mid-afternoon, which Ste tried not to laugh at,

“Hiya, how you feelin’?” he asked, about ready to shove all his books off and onto the floor, like he was ashamed of it,

“Better I guess…” Declan shrugged, “Da told me you an him…” he trailed off and for a heartbeat Ste was terrified that Brendan had made some guilt-ridden announcement to the teen, “about your school stuff,” he elaborated with a vague gesture, “I think you should talk to someone properly you know?”

“Not you an’ all,” Ste sighed, “I’ll sort it,”

“We’re mates, you know I won’t piss you about, can’t I just look at your work?” Declan tried, but Ste gave him a withering look and the Irish teen grew sheepish, “Alright, sorry,” he scratched the back of his neck as he stood in the doorway, “How’s your nose doin’?” he asked after a while. Ste had begun flipping pages in a science book, pausing when Declan spoke to him,

“Still hurts… I don’t think I’m gonna go in tomorrow,” he admitted, he’d thought about it and he’d rather not face people just yet, plus he could stay at home with Brendan, which was a nice thought.

“Huh? Oh… makes sense…” Declan sounded a little disappointed there, “you want me to talk to Amy?” he asked,

“Nah… I’ll talk to her about it another day, just… don’t tell her owt… yeah?” he felt bad asking Declan to keep something as huge as this from Amy, but it would be better coming from _him_ rather than through Declan.

“You sure? She needs to know…” Declan mumbled,

“She’ll know when I come an’ tell her,” he’d said it harsher than he had meant to and Declan visibly shrank, though Ste was hoping it was hangover related,

“Should I at least tell her you’re at my da’s?” he sounded like he regretted asking, and Ste felt guilty for that, knowing it was because he’d snapped already.

“I don’t know… maybe? Sure… or… I’ll borrow your phone… can I call her?” he asked,

“She’s out with her fella at the moment,” Declan answered, “texted her earlier,” he added,

“Ah right… I’ll try tomorrow then, just… if she asks, tell her I’m not well…” it was a flimsy excuse he’d used a thousand times, he’d just have to use it once more, just until he could explain things himself. Declan nodded but he didn’t look happy, he’d been on the other end of that lie and Ste knew it hurt him, he felt guilty about it every damned time he said it, but this time he thought maybe Declan could understand.

 

In the end, Declan reluctantly agreed to the excuse, going into school the next morning after promising Ste he wouldn’t say a word outside of him being unwell, leaving Ste sat at home in pyjama bottoms and a long sleeved t-shirt, a cup of coffee in cloth covered hands as he watched some morning cartoons. Brendan seemed to have taken to avoiding him, exercising harder and longer before emerging and heading straight upstairs to shower and change, leaving Ste to wonder if he’d done something wrong; he didn’t want to ask though, fearful that he’d come across as clingy or something equally juvenile, so he waited for Brendan to make some kind of move, social or otherwise.

He eventually did, sitting an awkward yet small distance away from Ste, a mug of coffee in one hand as he drummed the fingers of the other against his thigh,

“I was thinkin’,” he said, “I’ve got some things I can do at the club… if you want the place to yourself,” he nodded as he spoke, looking dead ahead and taking a swig of his drink.

“You don’t have t’go…” Ste said quietly, “I’d like it if you stayed…” he added with a bit more confidence,

“Here’s me thinkin’ you were sick of me already,” Brendan laughed, finally looking over at Ste, who gave him a frown, “after that talk… you didn’t even come down for dinner,”

“Felt like bein’ on me own is all, today? Nah,” he gave a smirk that Brendan returned in kind before leaning over to him, kissing him. Ste smiled against his lips before trying to move to deepen it without spilling his coffee or Brendan’s, he managed it for the most part but a slosh of hot coffee just about missed his lap and they parted to place their drinks on the coffee table before laying their hands on one another once more. Brendan forcibly pulled Ste onto his lap, not missing a beat, his hands curling around Ste’s backside and squeezing, dragging him closer and Ste could feel Brendan getting hard, his own dick tenting his cotton pants as he ground down against the older man. He kissed Brendan harder, ignoring the slight twinge of pain as their noses bumped when he tilted his head and their tongues met, tasting the sickly sweet of Brendan’s sugary coffee on his tongue. These kisses were something else, something dirtier and more involved than Ste ever really expected a kiss to be, it felt how Ste thought porn was supposed to look, but failed to, and the fact that he was living it, experiencing it first-hand, spurred him on beyond all belief.

He needed to get his clothes off, murmured as much against Brendan’s mouth before parting to pull his t-shirt up over his head, he’d wanted to kiss Brendan again but teeth grazed his chest, biting lightly before licking the slight indentations. Brendan’s hands pushed down the back of Ste’s pyjama pants and groped at flesh, Ste grinned and touched his hands to Brendan’s hair, scratching against Brendan’s scalp in some weird attempt at showing his appreciation of Brendan’s mouth on his skin and hands on his ass.

“Bren please,” he whispered, head back as he curved his spine and pressed closer to Brendan’s touch, rolling his hips. The movement had Brendan’s hands dragging him in, grinding him harder and closer and all Ste could think was that he wanted Brendan inside him again as soon as possible,

“Tell me what you want Steven,” Brendan purred against his chest, trailing kisses up his sternum and looking up at Ste, who dipped down and kissed him,

“Want to feel you inside me again,” he whispered across Brendan’s lips, feeling them curl into a wicked smirk before they pressed hard to his. He realised quickly that Brendan had prepared for any eventuality before he’d sat down next to him, feeling Brendan’s hands leave his backside, one slipping between Ste’s knee and his thigh, fishing in his pocket before his hands were back behind Ste and a cap clicked open. Brendan had parted their kiss to meet his gaze, eyes dark with lust as cold wet fingers pried Ste’s cheeks apart and traced the crack, ghosting over his asshole and making him jump at the shock of cold. Ste moaned as a finger slid back to tease at his asshole, stroking against the muscle until it relaxed a little and he pushed the tip inside, “C’mon more, hurry,” Ste whispered as he shifted to hold Brendan closer, pushing his ass back into Brendan’s hands. Brendan let out a breathy chuckle and obliged, slowly starting to fuck Ste with one finger, it felt so good, even one finger felt like it was filling him, pushing deep and drawing slow out. He mouthed pleas against Brendan’s shoulder and Brendan was eager to please, soon pushing two lubed fingers into Ste, fucking him loose enough for a third before withdrawing and stretching Ste’s pants further down his thighs, the teen’s cock standing proud above the now taut waistband.

 

A quick slap to Ste’s backside had him up on his knees so Brendan could push his own trousers down and slip a condom onto his hard cock, his hand found Ste’s hip and he guided him down, drawing him closer. Ste bit his lip as he felt the head of Brendan’s cock press against his asshole, willing himself to relax so he could take Brendan to the hilt in one slow, delicious push; he had to roll his hips a little for the last inch and it drew out a godly sound from Brendan. He settled himself in Brendan’s lap, adjusting to feeling so full, the discomfort passed quicker this time but he didn’t move, stroking his fingers through Brendan’s hair and just studying his face, taking in the hunger in Brendan’s eyes, the parted lips that curled into a half smile, he kissed Brendan’s open mouth. He started to move then, lifting himself a little and pushing back down, slowly starting to fuck himself on Brendan’s cock, rubbing his own cock against Brendan’s stomach. Brendan had both hands on Ste’s arse, pulling him down as his hips drove up, matching Ste’s movements and rhythm perfectly, grunting hotly into the teen’s mouth as he filled him and fucked him.

Ste broke into a sweat pretty quickly, panting and moaning as loudly as he wanted now Declan was out of the house completely, he smiled against Brendan’s mouth at the thought and shifted as best he could to get better leverage and get Brendan into him deeper and faster.

“God Bren,” he gasped, biting at Brendan’s mouth, licking his way in and sealing their mouths together in a wet mess, Brendan didn’t seem keen on being so passive though, and when they parted for a breath he man handled Ste onto his back, but Ste put his hands to Brendan’s chest, “Wait,” he protested, feeling Brendan withdraw completely now. He tried to keep his eyes on Brendan’s face as he shoved his pants down to his ankles and twisted over onto his stomach, Brendan looked him over and smiled,

“Alright,” he hummed low, standing and pushing his own trousers down further, grabbing Ste’s hips and forcibly dragging the teen to the edge of the sofa, setting him so his hips were resting on the arm and his face was buried in the warm leather where they’d just been sat. Ste had wanted it like this, sort of, but hadn’t expected to be cast over the arm of the chair like he was being punished, Brendan soon dispelling that feeling by stroking at his hips and ass before pushing into him in one long deep thrust, Ste let out an appreciative moan, muffled by the cushions, and Brendan set to brutalising his near-virgin asshole. This, Ste had to admit, was a huge turn on for him, he had a bit of a ‘type’ and nothing in it said ‘gentle lover’, so to feel his cock rubbing rough against leather, slicking it with precum whilst his hips pressed uncomfortably into the arm of the chair, it was awesome.

He was unbearably vocal even when muffled and Brendan’s hand slid down his spine to push against his shoulders and push him harder into the cushions, which had him moaning even more every time Brendan’s cock rammed into him. He could hear Brendan’s grunting over the sound of his own moans and pumping heart and he sounded so gorgeous and masculine as he filled Ste so completely; he wanted to get his hand under himself to jerk off in time with Brendan’s hard fucks but he couldn’t without pinning his arm under his stomach, so instead he clawed at the leather seat and pushed his toes into the hardwood floor to try push back against the slam of Brendan’s hips.

A glance over his shoulder had him seeing Brendan looking down at where they were joined, he looked so intent and awed by the way his cock pushed into Ste’s tight asshole, Brendan caught his eye and pointedly dug his fingers into his hips hard enough that Ste knew it would bruise. The hand on Ste’s back moved to brace the older man above him as he leant over Ste in a way that had the angle of his cock driving sweet bliss into the teen’s cries. Ste couldn’t help the incoherent babbling that left him as he tried to rub his cock just right against the arm of the chair, unable to touch himself and not _quite_ there despite Brendan’s efforts and the way all he could smell was sex and well-kept leather.

“Brendan fuck I…” he trailed off with a moan and Brendan shifted his hand from Ste’s hip and curled around his cock instead, stroking him and keeping the brutal pace of his dicking. Brendan’s fist was tight around Ste’s cock, jacking him in shorter strokes, inadvertently telling Ste he was close to finishing as his hips staggered and his rhythm completely fucked up, the staggered slam of hips against his ass and the desperate push of cock inside him had Ste burying his face in the leather, smothering his cries of pleasure. Brendan’s cries were more breathless huffs of ‘God Steven’ before his hips stilled flush to Ste’s ass and he came, he pulled out and Ste lifted his head to shoot a pathetic look at the older man, taking Brendan’s offered hand despite himself and letting the man roll him onto his back, his wet, pre-cum slicked cock standing painfully hard, pushed higher by the way his hips rested on the arm of the chair.

“Bren…” he pouted, not managing to look disheartened for long, as Brendan traced his fingers down the underside of Ste’s cock, marvelling it before encircling it with his hand once more and pumping his cock like he was jerking himself off, turning his stare to Ste’s face. Ste felt his skin prickle with heat as Brendan leered at him, getting embarrassed for reasons beyond him and casting his arms about his face to hide from Brendan’s predatory stare.

“Steven look at me,” Brendan growled low, slowing his hand on Ste’s cock, teasing fingers driving Ste crazy, thumb dragging slow along the glans, tracing the shape as Ste finally peered between his forearms, cheeks aflame and hoping that was enough. It wasn’t, Brendan gave a slight upward nod of his head as if to coax him out, smiling at him, a sheen of sweat covered him and he looked as fucked as Ste felt. Ste gradually shifted his arms, stretching them above his head and looking shyly at Brendan, who smiled at him and tightened his grasp on the teen’s cock, pumping quicker again, pushing three fingers of his other hand into Ste’s fucked hole for good measure. He pushed deep and curled his fingers just so, giving Ste’s cock a squeeze as he touched something inside Ste that had his toes curling, his body tensing, and a cry ripping through him, he came a heartbeat later, creaming Brendan’s fist and his own stomach.

 

His cry devolved into a mantra of ‘oh fuck’s and he sagged on the couch, lying there with his chest heaving and his eyes closed, just basking in the overwhelming aftershocks of his orgasm. He cracked open an eye when fingers tapped his cheek, seeing Brendan hovering over him,

“Head up,” he urged and Ste lifted his head, surprised when Brendan sat down and guided him back down onto his lap. Ste scooted up the couch so he was more on Brendan’s lap and wasn’t dangling over the edge quite as much, lying there looking up at Brendan’s quiet concentration as the man wiped away the evidence of Ste’s orgasm, gently handling Ste’s soft prick with a slightly cold wet cloth then wiping down between his legs. It was nice and intimate and Ste wanted to say something, feeling dumb when he finally did,

“I could get used to this,” he smiled, Brendan let out a huff of a laugh,

“Think we should keep fucking on the couch to a minimum, don’t you Steven?” Brendan cocked an eyebrow and ran the cool cloth up Ste’s stomach.

“Was a bit uncomfy,” Ste admitted with a grin, “Felt mint though,”

“You like it rough?” Brendan asked though there was a hint of unsureness in his voice, like he maybe regretted being so full on with Ste,

“Think so yeah, ask me in a bit when I’m feelin’ it,” he chuckled, he knew he’d be sore after that, he’d been sore after Brendan was sort of careful with him, he didn’t mind though, he liked the reminder.

He abruptly kicked his legs up into the air so he could pull his pyjama pants back on from where they were dangling from his left ankle, wriggling into them before resting his feet on the arm of the chair, knees bent and body curled towards Brendan, looking up at him and just watching him quietly.

He hoped that now they’d fucked again, Brendan wouldn’t be so apprehensive around him, that maybe they could fit into something less ‘one off’ feeling, and maybe he could act like Brendan was his boyfriend and maybe convince himself he really was. He gave a stupid smile at the thought of casually flirting with Brendan, of watching movies and hanging out and just acting like this wasn’t some huge secret they wouldn’t dare share.

“What’re you smilin’ at?” Brendan asked, smiling down at him in a way that got Ste’s heart pushing into his throat,

“Nothin’,” he shrugged, “It’s stupid…” he added, he didn’t want to open up about it, he wasn’t sure he would if Brendan prompted further, but a little part of him felt daring enough to give it a shot.

“ _Steven_ ,” Brendan tutted, disapproving of Ste’s self-deprecation,

“Well it _is_ ,” Ste huffed, “I thought… I dunno… with Dec bein’ at his mams… we could act… you know… _normal_ …” he explained lamely, “but then I thought… I don’t even know what that’d mean for us, you know… if there’s an ‘ _us’_ … I feel like there is…” he was rambling and he wished he’d not opened his mouth, because Brendan had narrowed his eyes and was staring at the coffee table, making the teen nervous.

“I’ve never really done normal…” Brendan hummed after, casually stroking his fingers through Ste’s hair, “wouldn’t be so bad…” he mused, Ste warmed at that, relaxing and turning to look at the TV that was still on, amused that they’d just fucked with kid’s cartoons playing in the background.


	9. Chapter 9

Normal _wasn’t_ so bad, Brendan had been right, and Ste lived for the casual touches, the way Brendan would touch his hips as he shifted past him in a hallway, the way he would instigate any question with a press of his body against Ste’s, punctuated with kisses, some messy, some not. He liked sleeping with Brendan too, not just the sex, but being able to lie in bed with him, curled up against him after they’d fucked, enjoying the heat of the other man. He wanted to wake up next to Brendan every day, it was a weird thing to realise, but he’d give anything for that, and was happy when he woke up before Brendan on Wednesday morning, cuddling closer and running his fingers in circles through the soft hair on the older man’s chest, smiling to himself as he drew idle patterns.

He lay like that for a long while, not sure what time it was or how much time had passed between him waking up and Brendan yawning himself awake next to him,

“Hey,” he smiled when Brendan turned his head to face him,

“Mh…” was all he got in response, so he pushed himself up and leant down to kiss him, not one to care about the slightly off taste they both had first thing, “Morning,” Brendan amended when their lips parted, ruining the moment when he glanced past Ste at the clock and spoke again, “you plannin’ on going to school today?” he asked, Ste lay back down and did his best to look downtrodden,

“I still don’t feel up to it…” he lied, Brendan knew he was talking bullshit, but he didn’t question it,

“I’ll give Lynsey a ring, let her know…” he hummed, lifting his hand from the covers behind Ste and tracing his fingers through the teen’s hair affectionately. Ste sighed happily and nuzzled his cheek against Brendan’s chest, settling down for another nap, disappointed when Brendan nudged him awake, “I’ll do that _now_ ,” he reiterated,

“Stay in bed,” Ste grumbled, holding tighter to the older man,

“Would that I could Steven,” Brendan smiled, using his arm to pull Ste close for another kiss before letting him slide back down and easing his arm from beneath the teen, “You’re welcome to stop here though,”

“You gonna come back after?” Ste asked as Brendan pushed the covers off of them both,

“Not likely, I need to run then hop into the shower, could swing by and get you up before the shower though,” he offered as he sat up on the edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder at Ste, Ste smiled sleepily at him, already dozing off as he lay on his side, naked and on display.

“You going to be long?” Ste asked with a yawn,

“Not too long,” Brendan stood and Ste watched him pull on some boxers and then his jogging bottoms, a little sad that he was being denied spending more time pressed against Brendan’s naked body.

“Mhkay, best not be yeah,” Ste hummed, closing his eyes and feeling the bed dip slightly, he turned his head up, knowing Brendan was coming back for a kiss, and not a chaste one this time, Brendan’s mouth opened against his, parting once, another kiss, then Ste pressed up to him, reaching out and touching his morning stubble rough jaw, matching the shift of lips and tongue, loving the hunger they shared for one another and smiling into the kiss.

“Back soon,” Brendan whispered before pressing a lighter kiss to Ste’s lips and pushing himself back off of the bed, leaving Ste to pull the covers up and cocoon himself so he could have another nap whilst waiting for Brendan’s return.

 

A sweaty sports vest to the face woke Ste up and he flailed his arms trying to get the wet fabric off of him, chucking it off the bed and squinting angrily, trying not to yawn because he was having a mard on at Brendan over his wake-up method.

“You’re such a nob,” Ste grumbled, wiping sweat off his face and sitting up, keeping the duvet wrapped around him as even a little bit of air chilled him more than he wanted it to; he watched Brendan shed his boxers, peeling them off like they were a second skin, not throwing them at Ste this time.

“You comin’ or what?” Brendan asked flippantly as he unfastened his watch and placed it on the nightstand, Ste gave a smirk before answering,

“Depends on what we do in the shower,” Brendan raised an eyebrow at that, shaking his head at the teenager and leaving the room. Ste quickly threw off the covers and stumbled his way across the bed, darting after Brendan and pushing into the bathroom as it swung to close, “Not shuttin’ me out are ya?” he asked with a smile, Brendan said nothing though, pulling two towels from a cupboard and placing them over the edge of the tub. Ste pulled the glass door of the shower open and leant in to turn the spray of water on, jerking his arm back out when the cold water caught him; he shook the water from his arm and turned back to Brendan, giving him a filthy little smile as he waited for the water behind him to heat up. When Brendan stepped towards him Ste took a careful step up into the shower, the water had warmed but the tiles he ended up against were freezing, chilling his spine as Brendan crowded him against them and caught him in a kiss. He lifted his hands to Brendan’s hair, feeling it grow wet under the spray as they kissed, he had grown accustomed to Brendan’s fervour when they kissed now, giving back in kind and pushing back against Brendan to get off the cold wall and under the spray of the shower. Brendan stepped back and held him close, his hands roaming down Ste’s back to his ass; Ste licked his lips as they parted, blinking under the spray of the shower as he tried to look into Brendan’s eyes,

“You’ve got a right thing for my arse,” Ste chuckled as Brendan ran his fingertips down the crack of Ste’s backside.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Brendan chuckled, giving Ste a once over before smirking to himself and giving Ste’s ass another squeeze before moving his hands to Ste’s shoulders and turning him, Ste just went with it and planted his hands on the wall, expecting Brendan’s fingers to delve into his asshole to prepare him for a thorough fucking. He was surprised when Brendan’s hands settled on his hips and he felt kisses pressing down his spine,

“Bren?” he asked, looking over his shoulder and trying to see what he was doing, he couldn’t keep looking though because Brendan’s thumbs pushed his cheeks apart and Ste felt him pressing his face into the space he’d made. “Bren!” he gasped, he didn’t know what the hell Brendan was trying to do until he felt something brush his asshole, quickly realising it was Brendan’s _tongue_ , and it felt _good_ , he tried not to sag against the wall as Brendan’s tongue traced his hole before pushing into him. He could feel Brendan’s moustache and stubble burning against the soft skin of his cheeks with every shift of tongue and mouth, and it wasn’t long before Brendan was fucking him with his tongue and Ste was moaning outright. He folded his arm against the wall and rested his forehead on it, letting out desperate little noises as Brendan reamed him, with what little thought he could muster he was _sure_ this should have registered as gross to him, but when he felt Brendan’s lips seal over his hole he gave up trying to think and pushed his ass out for more. He slid a hand down the wall before wrapping it around his wet cock, jerking off as Brendan licked and sucked at him, stubble burning his skin, heightening the pleasure he felt, and he didn’t take long to spatter cum across the tiles, crying Brendan’s name into his arm.

Brendan gave his hole one last tongue fuck before withdrawing and biting one fleshy cheek, then marking the other the same, pushing up off of his knees and pressing his hard cock into the groove of Ste’s ass, pushing his hips to rub against the teenager and get a bit of friction going.

 

Ste had offered up his tongue-fucked asshole for the job, but Brendan manipulated his hips to rut against him instead, cum briefly splashed on Ste’s back before it was washed away by the spray, it felt nice though and Brendan turned him to embrace him, kissing him under the water. The teen made the mistake of trying to breathe at the wrong moment and ended up sputtering and resting his forehead on Brendan’s shoulder as he coughed up water. Brendan laughed and took that opportunity to lather shampoo into Ste’s hair, the two washing each other down once Ste could breathe again.

It was funny to Ste, how they could go from grunts and moans to this strange almost _domestic_ intimacy, he was glad it went like that, the sex was awesome, but to have Brendan just touch him without the need for sex after? It was a relief and a nice way to relax, he didn’t feel pressured with him, and whenever he thought he was going to, he’d tell Brendan he didn’t feel like it and Brendan would back off in a heartbeat.

“What?” Brendan asked with a huff, Ste realised he was staring as Brendan dried himself,

“Nothin’,” he shrugged, he knew he had a dopey look on his face, trying to wipe it away with the towel he’d been holding, but failing.

“Starin’ at me like you want something,” Brendan hummed, taking a step towards Ste as he tied his towel around his waist, reaching for Ste’s and covering his hands with it as he wiped moisture from Ste’s chest, “Do ya Steven?” Ste just let out a confused hum there, “Want something?” Ste was tempted to say yes, pushing against Brendan’s touch slightly, but his stomach gave an irritated grumble and his cheeks coloured in embarrassment,

“Could go for breakfast I suppose?” he suggested with a laugh, Brendan laughing quietly with him,

“Man after my own heart there,” he gave Ste’s chest a tap and handed his towel back before leaving the bathroom, Ste gave himself a quick rub down before wrapping the towel around his waist and heading for Brendan’s empty room, where his jogging bottoms were currently strewn across the floor.

He pulled them on quickly and dumped his towel in the basket, figuring Brendan was already downstairs, knowing he was right when the smell of toasting bread met his still slightly bruised nose, he headed down and was about to sit at the kitchen island but Brendan turned around and placed a cup of coffee on it,

“Couch,” Brendan instructed, Ste giving him a quick once over, liking the open shirt and slacks combo, “still not finished that film,”

“Only cause you stopped it to blow me,” Ste quipped easily, picking up his cuppa and blowing on it before taking a sip, content it was just how he liked it,

“Well…” Brendan shrugged innocently, “Bit of a shite film really,”

“Er no it wasn’t, I love that film,” the film they were referring to was Boondock Saints, Ste used to have a poster for it but it had been ripped during an altercation with Terry,

“The accents are terrible and the plot is ridiculous,” Brendan grunted as he plucked bagels from the toaster and dropped them onto a plate,

“Get out,” Ste ordered,

“Excuse me?” Brendan scoffed,

“Get out, you’re an embarrassment and you need to leave,” he reiterated,

“This is _my_ house, Steven,” Brendan pointed out as he smeared jam onto two of the halves,

“Yeah well, this is one of my favourite films, you can’t not like it,” Ste huffed, rounding the counter to steal Brendan’s coated bagels and retreat to the couch. Brendan didn’t retaliate, instead covering the other two halved bagels and putting them on the stack of two plates, taking them and his cup of coffee over to where Ste had settled down in front of the TV and sitting next to him.

 

Brendan dumped an empty plate in Ste’s lap and Ste dropped his bagels on it, licking jam off of his fingers whilst balancing his coffee cup between his knees, the heat seeping through his pants was a little too hot but it was preferable to sticky hands just then. His fingers were still sticky but Ste didn’t much care so long as he wasn’t smearing jam on everything, picking up his mug and taking another swig, leaving Brendan to turn the TV and the recording of the film back where they’d left off. When the film was playing Brendan’s arm slipped around Ste’s shoulders and Ste smiled to himself, drawing his feet up onto the couch and leaning against the older man, sinking into his warmth and enjoying his breakfast of bagel and coffee.

Brendan laid down a commentary for everything they saw, griping about the Russians and the vent confusion, but Ste was excited, he loved the rope scene and it was coming up soon, the brothers were about to start bickering in the vent and Ste was practically vibrating. Only the doorbell rang and Brendan startled, jerking his arm from around Ste and pausing the film, jumping up from his seat and leaving Ste sat on his own.

“Bren?” Ste sat up and put his coffee on the table, worried about the way Brendan’s mood had suddenly soured,

“Who the fuck…” Brendan bit out, ignoring Ste’s question and stalking across the house, fastening the buttons of his shirt as he went. Ste stood to follow, giving himself a quick look over, content he looked relatively okay, even if he was just in his jogging bottoms, though he was quick to grow embarrassed when he got to the doorway to find Lynsey there, a sheepish look on her face.

“I did call but nobody answered,” she explained, “I thought I’d check on Ste, he’s been off quite a while, I worried maybe there was something wrong, I know you said he was just feeling off but…” Lynsey worried her hands a bit, turning her attention from Brendan to Ste and then back to Brendan, “And someone wanted to see you,” she smiled, “I wasn’t sure about him coming because of Ste,” she whispered as Brendan stepped aside and let her into the house, her brother stepping out,

“Long time no see Brendan,” Eoghan smiled, it was forced, much like the one that Brendan immediately plastered on his face. Brendan’s eyes were daggers but Lynsey didn’t notice, too preoccupied with taking Ste into the kitchen and fussing over him,

“The swelling has really gone down, how’s it feeling?” she asked,

“Alright, doesn’t hurt as much anymore,” it only really hurt when he pressed it, which was what Lynsey carefully did, making him yelp, “Except when you do _that_ ,” he snapped,

“Sorry,” Lynsey apologised, “You’ve not been in school,” she pointed out, but Ste was trying to look past her, where he could just about see Eoghan and Brendan talking quietly in the foyer, it looked heated and Ste was worried. “Ste?” Lynsey prompted again and Ste reluctantly turned his attention to her,

“Yeah I’ve… Dec told me that _he_ showed up after school Monday…” he admitted, Declan had called the house phone immediately after it had happened, him and Amy telling him that Terry had shown up looking for him, though Amy was more concerned about Ste not being in school, she didn’t know what was going on and Declan wouldn’t tell her, but Ste had promised to explain all when he was back, and for her not to worry about him.

“Your step-da?” Lynsey asked, “Declan should have told a teacher,” she sounded worried, “has he shown up since?”

“Not that they’ve told me,” Ste shrugged, he’d honestly pushed it out of his mind, not really wanting to think about Terry trying to coerce him into coming back with him. He fell quiet as Lynsey talked to him about needing to return to school and who he’d need to see when he went back, zoning out a little as she spoke. He checked out of the conversation completely when Eoghan and Brendan entered the room, laughing like old friends, and his gut began to twist and an uncomfortable weight settled in it.

 

Lynsey diverted her attention to Brendan and smiled at him and her brother, giving Ste an affectionate pat on the knee before getting Brendan’s attention and asking for a word, the two heading to the lounge and leaving Eoghan and Ste to awkwardly avoid each other.

“You know, since you’re stayin’ here you may as well play host,” Eoghan pointed out as it proved fruitless for them to try and listen in on the other two,

“Huh?” Ste pulled a face at him,

“Offer me a drink, you know, be hospitable,” Eoghan gestured to the kettle as if it was obvious,

“I’m alright thanks,” Ste didn’t mean to scowl as he said it, folding his arms across his chest and deciding to try and ignore the older man, watching the back of Brendan’s head, knowing they were talking about him.

“Charming aren’t you?” Eoghan stepped into his view and Ste leant to the side to look past him, which earned him a disbelieving scoff from the man, “you’re joking,” Ste looked up then, frowning at Eoghan, “ _please_ tell me you don’t have a thing for Mr Moustache,” he cringed and Ste gawked at him before recovering,

“Well… I… It’s not… I’m too young for ‘im, nowt’s gonna happen,” he lied, looking away and feeling his cheeks burning with embarrassment, hoping Eoghan believed him.

“Nothin’ _should_ happen, even when you’re _not_ jail bait, trust me, he’s not worth it,” Ste tried not to look affronted by that, shrugging awkwardly,

“Whatever,” he grumbled, intending to well and truly ignore Eoghan’s advice,

“I mean it, you’ll only get hurt there, the man’s got no feelings,” Eoghan offered, taking up the stool opposite Ste and levelling him with a narrowed look. Ste didn’t like how Eoghan was looking at him, turning his head and avoiding any chance of eye contact as he felt heat prickle his neck and chest, he knew he was blushing like an idiot at this point. Eoghan tried to say something else to him but Ste interjected,

“Just stop, right? I don’t care, nowts happened, nowts gonna happen, just like nowts gonna happen between you an’ him,” he didn’t mean to blurt that out, but let his expression turn smug when Eoghan looked genuinely shocked,

“Alright,” he lifted his hands in some form of surrender, dropping the subject and opting to waiting impatiently for Lynsey and Brendan to finish talking, disappointed when they finally did and it looked like Lynsey was planning on leaving.

“What we’re leaving already?” Eoghan asked,

“We’ll grab a pint some time,” Brendan promised with a forced smile and Eoghan accepted it, Ste let out an irritated snort and drummed his fingers on the table, looking sulky as hell.

“I’ll hold you to that Brady,” he smiled, glancing at Ste when Brendan looked at him, “You know Ste, it is Ste isn’t it?” Ste looked at him, frowned and then nodded, “You should probably put some clothes on, you’re gonna make poor Brendan here look like a kiddie fiddler,” he chuckled,

“Eoghan!” Lynsey gasped, “Ste, Bren, ignore him, I’m _so_ sorry,” she apologised quickly, but Brendan’s look of horror had already been hidden away, and Ste just felt all kinds of uncomfortable.

“He’s a bit hard to ignore…” Ste grumbled, earning a raised eyebrow from Eoghan, the only one who seemed to hear him,

“S’fine…” Brendan repeated a few times, which had Ste in knots because he _knew_ that tone and he didn’t like it. “See you later yeah, I’ll get him to school tomorrow, don’t worry,” he assured, not quite looking at the two of them as he led them out of the house, leaving Ste sat trying to figure out how to test the waters.

When Brendan walked back in alone, Ste pushed off of his stool and headed for Brendan, taking Brendan’s hand and leaning up for a quick kiss, it was one-sided, which hurt Ste’s feelings almost as much as the way Brendan’s fingers twitched against his but didn’t move to grasp.

“Bren?” he tried,

“Film,” Brendan nodded and slid from his grasp with a distant air about him, Ste wanted to run out the door and punch Eoghan for that stupid comment, but that wouldn’t help anything, so he figured he’d just keep trying, hopping onto the couch next to Brendan and easing up against him. Brendan didn’t push him away, but he didn’t wrap an arm around him like he usually did either, and as the rope scene unfurled before them and Brendan seemed to enjoy it more than he said he would, Ste knew things were going to be different.

 

He could feel Brendan dodging around him for the rest of the day, but it wasn’t as instantaneous as he’d expected it to be, he wouldn’t _quite_ kiss back, his pushing Ste away wasn’t abrupt but careful, and since he’d made the decision that Ste was going to school tomorrow, he’d used that as an excuse for them not to sleep together.

“Bren it’s just _sleepin’_ ,” Ste whined, sitting on the edge of Brendan’s bed as he got ready for work,

“I don’t want to wake you, you’ve got school in the mornin’,” Brendan repeated,

“You _won’t_ , an’ I’ve gone to school _without_ sleep, I can deal with wakin’ up and cuddling up to you,” he tried again, but he knew Brendan wasn’t going to budge on this, and was just going to get more and more distant with him.

“Steven.” Brendan snapped as he turned to face Ste, Ste sat up straight, spine rigid and eyes wide, a breath trapped in his lungs as he waited and hoped for that look to slip from Brendan’s face, and as soon as Brendan really looked at him it went. Brendan closed his eyes and took a breath, “sleep in your own room,” he pinched the bridge of his nose as he said it, “ _please_ ,” Ste felt guilty then, sighing and slumping where he sat,

“Okay… sorry…” he apologised, he wondered if Brendan really believed in the excuses he was telling Ste, if he thought he was being considerate rather than backtracking into what got Ste a good thump from him the first time. He hoped to god Brendan wasn’t slipping into _that_ again, it had been scary, and knowing how Brendan felt about it, how he didn’t want to be like that, he was hoping more for Brendan’s sake than his own. “I’m gonna go sort my stuff out for tomorrow,” he sighed, standing up and trying not to flinch when Brendan reached out and touched his cheek,

“Thank you,” Brendan said with a smile, letting his fingers linger on Ste’s cheek before giving it a more platonic pat and stepping away from the teen.

“Think I can call Deccy?” he asked, checking the time, it wasn’t _too_ late yet,

“Sure, you know you don’t need to ask, just don’t start callin’ anyone overseas,” Brendan joked,

“I won’t, thanks Bren,” Ste smiled, it wasn’t as broad a smile as he’d hoped and Brendan gave him a brief look of discomfort before Ste grabbed the second handset from Brendan’s bedside table and left the room, rushing to his own room and closing himself in, figuring Brendan wasn’t going to come see him any time soon.

He dialled Declan’s number and put the phone on speaker, dumping it on the bed whilst he started throwing his school things next to it, miserably unpacking the crisp new school shirt Brendan had picked up for him the other day.

“H’lo?” Declan yawned,

“Did I wake you mate? It’s Ste,” Ste called out,

“Aw shit I got spit on my homework…” Declan complained, which meant he _had_ been asleep, though it was probably at his desk, “You alright?”

“Yeah, getting my shit together for school tomorrow… I don’t wanna go but your dad’s puttin’ his foot down,”

“Probably sick of you makin’ moon eyes at him,” Declan joked,

“Nah, Lynsey came over and said I seemed fit for school,” Ste sighed, as he shoved his books into his bag,

“Aw boo, poor Ste, goin’ back to school,” Declan mocked playfully,

“Shurrup, dickhead,” Ste grinned, he’d spoken to Declan over the past few days but usually Declan was fussing and concerned, so to have him acting like his asshole best friend again was refreshing. “I’ve gotta tell Amy what happened…” he said, he definitely wasn’t looking forward to that,

“I’ll text her, we’ll show up a little early an’ we can talk then, yeah?”

“You’re gonna be there too?” he asked, surprised,

“Well it’s tough, I wanna support you mate… unless you don’t want me there, which is fine, I mean I get it—“

“Dec shut up, please be there,” he zipped his backpack up and dumped it on the floor, picking up the phone and sitting on the edge of the bed,  
“I will, don’t worry,” Declan assured, and Ste felt a lot easier about going back to school, and maybe giving Brendan some space would get him to see sense and ignore that fuckwit Eoghan.

 

He stayed on the phone with Declan for about an hour before the Irish teen was more yawn than conversation, Ste letting him go and returning the phone to Brendan’s room, a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be spending the night in the other man’s arms, but he returned to his own room anyway and climbed into bed, hoping that Brendan would wake him up anyway.

Brendan did wake him up, but it was so he could get up and get ready for school, which Ste was resolutely pissy about the whole time, up until he got out of Brendan’s car and saw Amy and Declan stood waiting for him. Amy was the first to spot him, perking up and rushing over to hug him, pulling back and giving him a shocked look,

“Ste! Where have you been? What happened to your face?” she asked, he was still a little bruised and his nose had looked a little red since the swelling had gone down,

“Can we go somewhere?” He asked, gesturing around them because even though there weren’t many people around, he didn’t want to be out in front of the school talking about this, so they headed for Ste’s favourite spot out across the field, which surprised Ste, because it looked like they’d skip a class if he asked them to. Once the three of them had sat down, Declan on one side of Ste, Amy on the other cuddled up close to him to express her concern, Ste let out a miserable sigh, “It was Terry…”

“That’s why Declan…” she trailed off when Ste nodded, “Ste what happened?” she looked near tears just looking at him,

“He showed up at Brendan’s on Friday night…” he admitted and Amy looked mortified, remembering their phone call, “Brendan stopped him, beat seven shades of shit out of him…” he felt haunted by that sight, seeing Terry afterwards, and he knew Amy had seen him looking only slightly better.

“I’m glad Brendan was there Ste,” she leant her head on his shoulder as she spoke, “but… where are you staying? Terry’s been looking for you…”

“I’m at Bren’s,” she frowned at that but didn’t say anything, “Not sure how long for, he’s alright though… nothin’ but nice to us,” he tried to assure her,

“I know it’s just… isn’t it weird?” she asked, obviously referring to Ste’s obvious crush on the older man,

“Better it be weird than abusive,” Declan piped up with a scowl, Ste gave him a light elbow, worried about the dark look on the other boy’s face, “well it is… besides… it’s not weird anymore, is it?”

“I dunno, it’s gettin’ a bit funny…” Ste chuckled nervously, wishing things _were_ okay like they’d been 24 hours ago, but he couldn’t really talk about _that_ in depth, especially not to Declan.

“Has he said somethin’?” Declan asked,

“Nah it’s just… I dunno… gets awkward sometimes…” Ste shrugged, “Nothin’ too bad, well better than livin’ with me mam,” he assured, and it was, even with Eoghan’s input on the situation being more detrimental than anything.

“Good, but if he says owt, tell me okay?” Declan plead and Ste nodded that he would, resting his head on top of Amy’s, content to sit there forever given half a chance.

“I will, quit worryin’ Dec…” he dismissed, “How long have we got til class?” he asked absently,

“However long you want,” Declan mumbled, deciding to cautiously push his hand under Ste’s arm, looping their arms loosely and sitting a bit closer.

 

In the end he didn’t make them skip too much of their first class, the three of them turning in to class ten minutes late, but a look at Ste’s guilty, bruised face had their teacher letting them off without much of a comment. Amy stuck to Ste like glue whenever she could, whilst Declan strayed a little, which surprised Ste given Declan’s earlier proclamations,

“You know Dec kissed me the other day, don’t you?” he asked as they were walking hand in hand at the tail end of their lunch break, Declan had gone to have a kick-about,

“No!” she gasped in disbelief, “Really? Oh my god Ste!” her voice went from shock to sheer glee at the prospect. She seemed _thrilled_ which Ste had to set right immediately,

“Don’t get too excited, I don’t think I like him like that,” he flushed as he said it,

“What? No you absolutely do, I’ve seen how you two are together, you’d be so cute,” she pouted,

“What are you on about?” he frowned, “Me an’ Dec? I dunno…”

“Oh but Ste…” she sighed, “he _really_ likes you,”

“I know! But… I don’t know if I _really_ like him…” plus there was the whole _Brendan_ thing, he was almost tempted to tell her about it, but she read him like a book.

“God you’re not still hung up on _Brendan_ are you? He’s Declan’s _dad_ ,” she explained,

“Yeah which is why it’d be a bit weird if I settled for his _son_ ,” Amy gasped at that,

“ _Settled_? Declan is _great_ and he _adores_ you, but if you think being with him would be _settling_ , God Ste,” she huffed,

“Amy… Dec’s amazing… he is… I just… I don’t _know_ …” he sighed, “Maybe? I don’t know, stop pressuring me about it, I told him I need time,” he huffed, he regretted mentioning it now, honestly surprised he’d even _considered_ telling her about him sleeping with Brendan, being almost like a proper couple with him even if it _was_ only for a few days.

“Well you need to make up your mind and not string him along Ste,” she worried, and Ste nodded,

“I’m tryin’ not to Amy, I just… everythin’s up in the air right now, I don’t know what I’m feeling when I’m feeling it, it’s _awful_ …” he sighed, because he was being messed about by Brendan just as much as he was messing Declan about, maybe even more so, but he didn’t have anyone to tell or anyone to help him out with it.

“Oh _Ste_ ,” Amy sighed, shifting closer and hugging his arm, “I’m sorry, I know it’s hard… but at least you’re out from under Terry,” she smiled, and Ste smiled back, that was good at least. The bell rang moments later and the two of them parted ways to go to their different classes, where Ste was loaded with more catch-up homework from classes he didn’t have with Declan, which was almost a relief, because it kept him busy most of the evening.

He didn’t talk to Brendan much, but Brendan didn’t seem to pick up on it or object to it, even if he did occasionally pass where Ste sat and reached to run a hand through his hair, stopping and hovering for a moment before changing his mind about touching the teenager at all. To say this annoyed Ste was an understatement, he was quietly livid with the way Brendan went from being reluctant to avoiding touching him completely, he’d even tried sleeping in Brendan’s bed that night, but woke up alone at 5am needing to pee, relieving himself before going to find Brendan, who was asleep on the couch downstairs.

 

He lost his rag over breakfast, dropping his spoon into his bowl of cereal with a clatter and snapping at Brendan,

“This is fucking _dumb_ ,” he spat, Brendan frowning at him, “ _Eoghan_ says one dumb thing and you go from being affectionate and wanting to fuck me constantly to _this_ ,” he gestured at how Brendan was sat at the other end of the island counter, he may as well have been eating in the lounge.

“Jesus Christ Steven don’t start this…” Brendan sighed,

“No I’m gonna start this cause I thought we had somethin’ _good_ , right,” he sniffed as he finished, he didn’t want to cry, Brendan rubbed his face tiredly before answering,

“Not now, just stop,” he sighed,

“Bren _please_ , things were good, we’ve _got_ somethin’,” he got up from his chair and approached Brendan, watching the man shrink against the counter, trying to avoid Ste’s touch,

“Steven,” he warned,

“I _want_ you, I want to sleep with you, I want to kiss you, I want to touch you, I want you to just admit you want me, and just _give in_ to this, cause I _know_ you don’t want us to stop,”

“There’s no _us_ Steven, you’re a child, I’m an adult,”

“Stop it! That’s shit, I’m not a kid an’ you _know_ that, we both consented to this, nobody’s doing _anything_ wrong,” he spat, “Hell we could tell _Declan_ , he wouldn’t think it was wrong at all!”

“Shut up, just shut up, I swear to god if you say _anything_ about this to him Steven,” Brendan’s fist curled around Ste’s tie but he didn’t sound threatening, he sounded _terrified_ ,

“You know what Brendan? You’re a coward, you are _such_ a _fucking_ coward,” he hissed through his teeth, right in Brendan’s face, he’d even felt his lip touch the tip of Brendan’s nose, he pulled back when Brendan’s expression hardened,

“Start walking Steven,” he gritted out,

“Huh?” Ste recoiled at his words, confused, suddenly scared that Brendan was kicking him out,

“Get out, go to school… I’m not gonna listen to this horse shit, and I’m certainly not gonna sit in a car with it,” he seethed, giving Ste a hard stare, “so start walkin’ or you’ll be late,”

Ste stepped back, torn between feeling hurt and feeling indignant, settling on the latter and grabbing his backpack,

“Fine, I’ll _walk_ , prick,” he snapped over his shoulder as he stormed out of the door, slamming it behind him and ignoring Brendan’s shouted reprimand. He kept his face forward even as he heard the front door open again, but it sounded like Brendan had thought better of having this argument in the street and retreated back into the house, “coward,” Ste spat as he turned down the street and began the long stomping trek to school.

He was angry, and he knew being angry made him do stupid things, but knowing he was doing something stupid didn’t stop him from doing it, because the moment he saw Declan he laced their fingers together.

“Ste are you alright?” Declan asked, rounding on him and giving him that soppy look of concern he was so fond of,

“I’m okay,” he forced a smile and stepped closer to Declan, moving to rest his forehead on the other teens shoulder, stopping briefly to brush their cheeks together in a light nuzzle. He heard Declan’s soft gasp and felt the other boy wrap an arm around him, holding him close.

“What’s this?” came Amy’s voice after they’d stood there for a while holding each other, Declan made to pull away but Ste was adamant on this closeness, releasing Declan’s hand and wrapping his arms around him, he felt Declan shrug a little and he wanted to tell him this was platonic, that he just wanted his best friend to hold him, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how much of an asshole Brendan was being, and how he probably _would_ be better off with Declan. “Ste?” Amy tried, touching his shoulder and trying to get to see his face, he gave her a sidelong glance and a pitiful look, “Are you okay?” she asked,

“M’fine,” he lied again, smiling a little when Amy looped her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind, “Thanks,” he sighed, the three eventually prying themselves apart, they didn’t have any classes together today except for PE, and that was just Declan and Ste together, not that he’d be getting involved, he’d left his kit bag on the floor by island counter at Brendan’s house.

 

He’d felt Declan’s attitude towards him shift every time they saw each other during the day, but neither of them mentioned it, especially not when they were sat together in the back of Brendan’s car on the way home, but Brendan wasn’t saying anything either, and it was horribly awkward, more so when Amy said her goodbyes and got dropped off.

“Right,” Brendan finally said as he pulled to the curb outside his house, not pulling into the driveway like he usually did, “out you get,”

“We’re on our own?” Declan asked,

“Yeah, got some things I need to do at the club,” Brendan said distantly, only addressing Declan, “I’ll not be back til after close, try not to burn the place down… in fact, here,” he fished in his pocket for his clip of notes and handed Declan a few twenties, “get somethin’ in,” he then folded the front seat down. Ste was feeling bitter though, so he stood up on his seat and hopped over the side of the convertible, not looking back as he stalked towards the front door and waited impatiently for Declan to come and let him in, since he didn’t have a key.

He watched a small exchange between Brendan and Declan and scowled when Brendan looked over at him for the first time, turning his head aside shortly after, he didn’t need Declan knowing Brendan was the reason for his pissy mood. Declan was soon next to him opening the front door,

“Ste are you sure you’re okay?” Declan asked as he stepped aside to let Ste inside,

“I’m just… frustrated…” Ste said slowly, kicking off his shoes and heading through to the lounge, sitting down and drawing his knees to his chest. Declan followed and sat next to him,

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked, mimicking Ste’s pose and looking sadly over to him, Ste just gave a shrug,

“I just need to cool off a bit…” he mumbled, shuffling a little closer to Declan and leaning on his shoulder, Declan pressed his cheek to the top of Ste’s head briefly and uttered a quiet ‘okay’, seemingly content to sit there with Ste for however long he needed.

It took a few hours but Ste eventually peeled himself from Declan’s side and stood to stretch out, the two of them migrating to the kitchen island for homework, figuring they could get it done and out of the way to have the weekend free to themselves. They worked in near silence and Ste was just glad he’d not had a chance to go to English, meaning he didn’t have to try and hide an entire class worth of homework from Declan with him sitting right there. They eventually ordered in some Chinese food to eat whilst they worked, finishing up and heading to Declan’s room to play video games, which they did until the early hours of the morning. Ste had only played for so long because his stomach was aflutter with nerves and bitterness, even with time he’d spent most of it thinking about how much of an ass he felt for falling for Brendan’s lies, thinking things could be good and easy between them, when they could only really be like that when _Brendan_ wanted them to be. All that time thinking brought out in him was sheer stupidity, because Declan was _right there_ , Declan _wanted him_ , Declan wouldn’t brush him aside because of what other people thought, and that’s why he found himself lurching forward when Declan bent to put their controllers on the table, turning Declan towards him and kissing him _hard_.

 

Declan was shocked at first, reeling and staring wide eyed at Ste, but Ste just scooted close and kissed him again, pushing him back against the sofa and moving to sit astride his lap; it took a moment for Declan to start kissing back, hands coming up to Ste’s hair and pushing through it, holding him close and sliding their mouths together. It was gentle and adoring but Ste didn’t want that, biting at Declan’s bottom lip, sucking it lightly before crashing their mouths together again, Declan took the hint and one hand roamed down Ste’s spine to the curve of his ass.

“Dec,” Ste gasped as their lips parted, the two of them panting as they looked each other in the eye,

“Ste I…”

“Please, I want to… with you…” he couldn’t quite say it, suddenly playing the quiet virgin despite everything,

“Me too,” Declan nodded, and his body said as much as his words, Ste could feel their dicks pressing together, hard and searing hot in their school trousers. “I’ve never…” Declan admitted with a blush,

“Me either…” Ste lied, “but… I know what to do,” he smiled and Declan blushed further,

“ _I_ know what to do, I’m not dumb Ste,” he huffed,

“Shhh,” Ste pressed his lips to Declan’s as he shushed him, smiling and genuinely enjoying the innocent affection that passed between them as they touched each other. He leant back just to pull his school shirt up and off, watching Declan’s look of sheer admiration as the other teen took him in in a different light; Ste tucked his fingers under the hem of Declan’s shirt and pulled that up, Declan helping throw the offending article of clothing off and onto the floor. He’d never really _looked_ at Declan like this, not even the first time they’d kissed, but Declan had a similar build to his dad, even if his musculature was more subtle than the older man’s, less defined due to being earned through sport rather than focussed gym work. He ran his fingers along Declan’s shoulders before trailing them down his chest, smooth and devoid of dark hair, just soft skin rippled with teenage muscle, he laughed when he brushed his thumbs over Declan’s nipples and the other lad startled with a gasp.

“Don’t laugh!” Declan huffed, moving his hands to the exposed skin of Ste’s hips, hesitant to touch him,

“Sorry, thought you’d’ve at least _tried_ playin’ with these,” he stuck his tongue out a little, catching it between his teeth and smiling, ducking down to kiss Declan again, giving his nipples another stroke and liking the way Declan sighed into his mouth, enjoying it more this time. Declan grew daring as they kissed, hands pushing to Ste’s back before travelling low and pushing past his trousers to grab his ass, skin on skin, Ste hummed happily against his mouth and moved to start unfastening his belt and fly to push his trousers down.

“Ste,” Declan broke their kiss and nudged his nose against Ste’s cheek, “bed… can we… I want to do this on the bed…” he cringed as he said it, and Ste realised that Declan was a little embarrassed that he wanted a more ‘traditional’ setting for his first time, even if this couch _was_ in his bedroom. Ste nodded, Declan’s hands slid from his trousers as Ste pushed to stand up, dropping the faded black trousers to pool around his ankles, stepping out of them and beginning to _wiggle_ his way out of his boxers, eager and excited, dick hard and beginning to grow wet at the tip with precum.

 

Aside from his socks, Ste was naked in front of Declan now, tilting his head to the side and smirking as he took himself in hand and gave himself a few strokes, amused and flattered by Declan’s disbelieving awe at him. Declan took a second to regain himself but stood up and started hurrying out of his own clothes, stopping at his boxers when he began to feel self-conscious about it; Ste approached him then, taking Declan’s hands and guiding him so his back was to the end of the bed. He released Declan’s hands and pressed his hand to the tented front of the other teen’s boxers instead, Declan stepping back slowly, nervous but clearly not wanting to back up to the bed fast enough to break this contact. He sat on the edge of the bed and Ste moved to help him out of his boxers,

“Go on, bit further Dec,” he urged and Declan pulled himself onto the bed, scooting back and watching Ste for a cue, but Ste didn’t stop him until he was up against his pillows, naked and on display for him. He took a moment to quickly pull his socks off before climbing onto the bed and crawling towards Declan, he wasn’t trying to be sexy or anything, just moving until he was straddling the other teen, their cocks flush against each other, Declan looking down at them uncertain.

“Ste I don’t want…” he paused and Ste worried he’d pushed Declan, “I’m not ready to bottom…” he admitted, and Ste sighed in relief,

“ _I am_ ,” he purred before kissing Declan again, rolling his hips to rub their dicks together, Declan’s hand coming to wrap around them and add friction, “lube? Condom?” Ste panted against his mouth,

“Oh,” Declan let out, releasing their pricks reluctantly and tapping Ste’s thigh so he’d shift to the side. Ste did so and watched Declan lean to the side table and grab a bottle and pack of condoms from the top drawer,

“Were you plannin’ this or something?” Ste asked, which didn’t make sense given how _he’d_ been the one to initiate it,

“Uh… not _planning_ exactly…” Declan shrugged, “just thought maybe… be easier at my da’s than at mam’s…” he mumbled as he settled back down and tried to guide Ste back into his lap, Ste didn’t comment, just huffed a laugh and shook his head, taking the bottle of lube from Declan’s hand and uncapping it, tempted to offer Declan the honour but there was something about fingering that Ste decided he didn’t want to do with Declan, so he squeezed some of the runny gel onto his fingers and tucked his hand behind himself, keeping eye contact as he did so.

He let out a soft gasp as he circled cold fingers around his asshole, Declan’s hands settled on his thighs and he slowly pushed a fingertip into himself, closing his eyes as he began to stretch and fuck himself in preparation for Declan’s dick. The thought of Declan fucking him was hotter than he thought it would be and he couldn’t help but wrap a hand around his dick as he pushed a second finger into himself, moaning out and wishing this would end quicker so Declan could fuck him. He was practically edging himself when the third finger pushed in and fucking himself grew easier, he couldn’t wait any longer, slipping his fingers from inside himself and releasing his cock in favour of tearing open Declan’s condom packet and rolling the rubber onto his upright cock, wetting it with a bit of extra lube he had on his hand.

 

He didn’t want Declan to fuck him like this though, shifting off of his lap and settling himself on all fours, “Dec,” he pleaded as he glanced over his shoulder at the other teen, but Declan didn’t need to be told twice. Declan was up on his knees and guiding himself into Ste’s waiting hole before Ste could settle his face in his forearms, it was an easier stretch than with Brendan, Declan had a little less girth and length than his father but he was no less filling when he pushed slowly til he was pressed against Ste’s ass.

“This okay?” he asked, voice concerned,

“Fuck me,” Ste mumbled, pushing back against Declan, who withdrew and pushed into Ste, hands on his hips, he picked up the pace soon after, quicker and blatantly less experienced than Brendan, who fucked him assuredly every time and had no hesitance. Declan also didn’t have the same kind of stamina as his father, but his thrusts had an uncontrolled force behind them as he littered Ste with praise, more than he was accustomed to.

He was decent enough to bend slightly so he could wrap his hand around Ste’s cock to jerk him off, though it seemed a bit awkward to him and didn’t feel as good to Ste as it could have, but it was enough to have Ste moaning outright into his arm, begging Declan to fuck him harder. There was a slight stagger of Declan’s thrusts and Ste worried the other teen had finished before him, but after a few seconds hesitation Declan withdrew and pushed into him hard and fast, fucking him with less concern in his voice as he told Ste how good he felt.

“God Ste,” Declan gasped as his thrusts grew shallow and rapid, “Fuck,” he stilled behind Ste but kept working his hand, withdrawing his cock from the other teen once he’d come, he released Ste for the briefest of moments, shoving Ste so he rolled onto his side, then back, Declan kneeling between his spread legs and wrapping a hand around his dick, jerking Ste off and watching his hand. Ste watched too, the room filling with the wet sound of Declan’s lube slick hand wanking him and his own breathy moans as he got closer, arching his back and closing his eyes when he came. “Jesus…” Declan gasped, Ste opened his eyes and looked up at him, watching as Declan wiped his hand on the sheets with a grimace, which was a bit disappointing, but he’d been fucked and he’d creamed himself, so he didn’t care, flopping onto his back and waiting for Declan to kick him out or something.

Declan didn’t though, just moved to lie next to him, trailing his fingers over Ste’s chest and stomach, avoiding the come spattered there as he did so,

“You can spend the night if you want,” Declan mumbled as his breathing levelled out,

“I don’t think I should…” Ste cringed and felt a sudden rush of guilt hit him at what he’d just done, “Shit,” he cursed as he sat up, curling his body away from Declan in shame, “That was… that was great…” he meant it, “but I shouldn’t stop, sorry,” he apologised, “I should go…” he moved off of the bed then and to his surprise Declan didn’t try to stop him.

 

He could feel Declan’s eyes on him as he got dressed, “Ste,” he called out softly, and Ste turned but couldn’t quite look at him, “Even if this… even though this _clearly_ isn’t goin’ anywhere… this still means a lot to me… that it was you… that you were my first…” Declan admitted, and Ste looked at his face, saw the slight smile and the way his cheeks had darkened, and he didn’t understand.

“Not going anywhere?” he didn’t mean to ask, he shouldn’t have, and he regretted it,

“Ste you slipped up a bit…” Declan sighed, and he looked completely defeated, which broke Ste’s heart, “I mean… I know you’re into him… I didn’t realise how much…”

“God Dec… I’m _so_ sorry… I didn’t mean to…” he realised what he’d done, flashed back to the way Declan’s thrusts had stuttered and his grip had shifted on Ste’s hips, and the way that barely a breath beforehand the name ‘Brendan’ had tumbled from his lips like a taboo.

“It’s okay, I’m okay…” Declan shrugged, Ste wasn’t sure if he should believe him, but Declan shone a warm, genuine smile his way, “I sort of knew… you know? I should’ve said no, but it was _you_ ,” he laughed lightly, “I can’t say no to you, you’re my best friend, and you needed me…” he looked thoughtful and Ste just didn’t understand at all, Declan should have been furious at him, but he was just… _Declan_. He let out a weary sigh, even if Declan wasn’t upset about their sleeping together not leading to more, Ste still felt horrendously guilty, both towards Declan _and_ Brendan, who he hoped to god never found out about this. He tried not to look too ashamed of himself as he shuffled awkwardly to the door, opening it and taking a step out into the hall when Declan spoke up,

“Yanno… if you promise not to call out my dad’s name, I wouldn’t mind doin’ this again, you know… as friends,” he offered as Ste stood in the doorway. Ste smiled at him then,

“Maybe,” he shrugged, he didn’t think it would happen again, but the suggestion made him feel a little easier about what had just happened.

He closed the door and returned to his own room, shedding his clothes again, wiping come off of himself with his school shirt, considering heading out to the bathroom to clean himself up a bit better, but he froze up, hearing the sounds of outside filter through the house, signifying that the front door had been opened and Brendan was arriving home. He wasn’t sure why he left his room when he heard Brendan ascend the stairs, he felt guilty as sin and was terrified he’d spill his guts the moment he saw Brendan, but when he stepped out into the hallway he didn’t say a word. He stood there staring at Brendan, mouth forced into a thin line, trying not to shift from foot to foot because when he did he could _feel_ where Declan had been inside him, where he was still stretched and wet with residual lube, and it made him feel worthless.

“I’m sorry about the past few days,” Brendan admitted quietly, “Especially this mornin’, I shouldn’t have been like that with you… it’s just Eoghan… gets under your skin like a parasite, pushes all the wrong buttons…” he explained, just as quiet, but Ste still didn’t open his mouth, worried about what might come out. His eyes widened a fraction as Brendan approached, nervous of what Brendan was about to do, surprised when the older man took his hand, “C’mon, let me make it up to you…” giving Ste a warm smile that promised _so_ much, Ste barely registered the quiet ‘alright’ that passed his lips before Brendan led him to the master bedroom and closed the door behind them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say I am hugely grateful for everyone who is reading this and supporting me in my writing. I know I've not been the most consistent in when I update and I know my pacing is probably sporadic as hell, but you've all been really good to me even when you've not quite agreed with my direction. I hope you're still enjoying the fic and I hope you'll stick with me to the end of this because it's going to be pretty monumental to for me when I hit 'complete' on this fic. Anyway, less of this sop, enjoy!

He’d expected aggression, but Brendan was tender and sweet, easing him against the closed door, kissing his neck and trailing up his jaw to his lips, uttering quiet words about how he’d missed the taste of Ste’s skin. Ste coloured with guilt, but Brendan’s proximity, the smell of Brendan’s aftershave and the smell of booze soaked up from the atmosphere of the club, it was overwhelming and Ste found himself deepening the kiss, pushing himself against Brendan enough to have their bodies touching as much as possible.

“Bren,” he sighed happily as they parted, letting Brendan’s hands take his so the older man could guide him back towards the bed, turning them around and letting Ste sit down, it was almost too alike, the way Brendan shifted to slide Ste’s boxers down and off, smirking and looking him over, but there was hunger, not the sheer awe Declan had held for him. God he liked this more though, sporting a cheeky grin as he leant back on his elbows and watched Brendan slowly and carefully remove his clothes. There was no haste here despite their brief break, Ste had expected a rush, a flurry of clothes falling to the ground, Brendan on him like an animal, but instead Brendan slid his jacket off and smoothed it out, folding it and draping it over the lone chair in the corner which served only as a clothes horse. He unbuttoned his shirt next and Ste just watched as skin was exposed, drank Brendan in like he’d never get this chance again, imagined that if he wasn’t so painfully desperate to have Brendan fill him again, he’d have that same soft look of awe that he’d seen on the man’s son.

It was weird thinking about Declan as he lay down watching Brendan strip, but he couldn’t stop himself from comparing, like he couldn’t stop himself from comparing when Declan was fucking him. His cheeks heated then and he realised how soon it was, how he was still stretched and a little wet down there; in his panic he managed to draw out a plan, scooting back on the bed and planting his feet on the covers, knees raised and spread as he tucked a hand between his legs and stroked fingers over his asshole.

“Steven,” Brendan growled, low and hushed, Ste looked to him with wide eyes, saw the slow shake of his head and flushed with guilt as he withdrew his hand and leant back on both elbows again, cursing internally.

Ste shivered at the slight crack of a sound Brendan’s belt gave as it pulled from the loops of his trousers, once again mesmerised by this painfully slow strip tease, but he realised that Brendan wanted him to squirm, wanted to see him restless and desperate for him, and he was; Declan could have fucked him a dozen times and Ste would still be desperate for Brendan to dick him.

“God Bren hurry,” he whispered, letting out the most pathetically happy noise when Brendan finally kicked his boxers aside and stepped to the edge of the bed. He grabbed Ste’s ankles and pulled him so his ass was at the end of the bed, kneeling down and getting comfortable, pushing Ste’s thighs until the teen obediently held his knees.

 

Ste wasn’t sure about this, holding his knees and waiting, feeling Brendan blow cold air across his asshole, every fibre of common sense and decency he had was screaming at him to tell Brendan not to, to get up and leave, or at the very least dissuade the man from burying his face where his son’s dick had been. But he couldn’t do it, especially not when he felt skin on skin and the hair of Brendan’s moustache, nuzzling into him before a hot tongue swiped over his asshole, he let out a moan and Brendan stopped,

“Declan’s home,” he hissed and Ste reached above him to pull a pillow down, keeping his legs up through sheer force of will despite how boneless he felt, covering his face with the pillow because he just didn’t have the energy to hold it in, he felt Brendan chuckle, hot air puffing over his wet hole, which Brendan soon pressed the tip of his tongue to, slipping it into Ste easily. Ste hugged the pillow to his face as Brendan’s tongue began fucking him in quick pushes, he could hear Brendan’s pleased sounds, feel them vibrating against his skin, and it was all too much too soon, still fresh from being fucked earlier. His thighs hurt where he was keeping them tense, so he stretched out cautiously, but Brendan’s tongue pushed deeper than it had been and he curled bodily in pleasure, muffling his moan with the pillow. He was so close his dick almost _ached_ for release, but he couldn’t touch himself for fear of not keeping quiet, just focussing on Brendan tongue-fucking his asshole, sucking in a smothered breath when Brendan’s fingers pressed alongside his tongue, stretching his hole a little wider and pushing his tongue deeper. Embarrassingly, that was the last push he needed to let out a muffled cry beneath Brendan’s pillow, feeling his cum spatter his stomach for the second time that night; it felt great, but at the same time he felt so humiliated at how quickly he’d come, always a slave to his lack of self-control. He pushed the pillow tighter against his face and let out a pathetic little noise, Brendan had pulled away from his asshole and Ste took that as his cue to curl his legs to the side of him on the bed; he felt the bed dip and a hand braced on his thigh, Brendan leant over him and Ste was surprised when a hot tongue pressed flat to his stomach, but he still couldn’t bring himself to stop feeling so embarrassed.

 

The dip of tongue on flesh ceased and the pillow was lifted a fraction off of Ste’s face, the teen peering out to see Brendan looking in at him, “Anyone home?” Brendan asked with a smile, Ste turned his head to the side, embarrassed, “Shoot too soon there Steven,” Ste nodded, “Think you’ve got another in you?” he could feel Brendan’s weight above him and he wanted to say yes but he wasn’t sure, so he shook his head, “No? Just the once? I’m shocked,” Brendan huffed a laugh and pushed the pillow away completely, “Or did you get off when you were having your fun earlier?” he asked and Ste looked at him with wide eyes, he didn’t know did he? “What Steven, you think I don’t know what lube tastes like?” he was smiling at Ste, which relaxed him a little, either he knew and he didn’t care, or he thought something completely different, “tell me,” he whispered, shifting closer and kissing Ste, “when you were playin’ with yourself, presumably thinking of me, how did you start?” he held his hand up to show Ste two fingers, index and middle, “which one?” Ste swallowed thickly, he couldn’t bring himself to speak, so he lifted a hand and ran his fingertip down Brendan’s middle finger, earning a chuckle as Brendan curled his index finger and turned his hand around to swear at Ste. Ste scrunched his nose up, pulling a face to say he didn’t find it funny, Brendan pressed his finger to Ste’s lips, pushing past and giving Ste the chance to suck it and wet it with his tongue before he withdrew and tucked his hand between Ste’s legs and traced his middle finger down to his spit-wet asshole, pushing his finger in until his other fingers were pressed against Ste’s skin. “Like this?” he asked, withdrawing and pushing back in, slowly fucking Ste’s hole with his middle finger,

“More,” Ste gasped, and Brendan seemed to be obliging, but his finger left Ste completely and he crawled up the bed, “Bren?” he panted, tucking the pillow under his head now, watching Brendan fetch lube and a condom, grinning when he returned and made a show of coating his fingers with lube, tossing the bottle aside and pushing _three_ fingers into Ste’s wet asshole, Ste had to fold the pillow around his face to muffle the guttural moan that left him. Brendan fingered him until he proved Ste wrong about his inability to get it up again, withdrawing the slick digits and slipping the condom on, soon pushing into Ste and waiting for the teen to adjust to the intrusion.

“God I’ve missed this,” he gasped as Ste felt his asshole give an involuntary clench around the first few inches of Brendan’s cock,

“Deeper, please,” Ste panted, “fuck me,” he let out after, wrapping his legs around Brendan as he leant down over him and braced his forearms on the bed, dipping in to kiss him as he pushed in further, fitting their bodies tight together. Ste felt so full and content, smiling into the kiss as Brendan fucked him in slow, deep thrusts, rocking into him like they had all the time in the world to enjoy each other. It was so different but it felt so damned good, his dick trapped between them was at the height of friction but he tried to hold on longer this time, he wanted Brendan to come before he did again, wishing he could feel Brendan fill him with cum, and not some stupid condom, but he knew that wasn’t an idea that he thought would ever happen.

He released his makeshift muffler and wrapped his arms around Brendan’s shoulders, panting and letting out near silent moans as Brendan grunted hot and dirty in his ear with every thrust, even when he was setting this gentle, intimate pace between them. He forced his fingers through Brendan’s hair on the back of his head, holding him as close as he could as he rutted hopelessly against Brendan’s stomach, pushing back into each thrust the man made. He turned his head to Brendan, butting his nose lightly against Brendan’s cheek and smiling breathlessly when Brendan turned to him and kissed him like he wanted, moving so Ste was looking up whilst they kissed. Ste let out a soft grunt into Brendan’s mouth with every slow push of hips, he wanted more from Brendan but at the same time he wanted this to be more about Brendan than himself, his guilt putting his self-control to the test as he got closer and closer to coming.

 

“Bren please,” he begged against Brendan’s mouth when they parted, feeling the hitch in Brendan’s breath, the man’s hands coming to hold his head, Brendan looked at him as he thrust in and held still for longer than before, withdrawing and repeating, his expression seemed different, like how he looked when he really smiled at Ste, only he wasn’t smiling, his jaw was slack as he breathed heavier from his exertion, he exhaled ‘Steven’ and crushed their mouths together as he bottomed out and his hips stilled for longer, moaning low into Ste’s mouth. Ste had sussed the motion and slipped his hand between them, jerking off quickly and bringing himself past that final barrier he’d managed to force for himself, coating their stomachs in his cum. He felt himself tightening around Brendan as they came almost at the same time, smiling into Brendan’s mouth when the older man let out a low, rumbling chuckle of a moan against him; their movements slowed and they lay there pressed together for a moment, mouths moving slow and languid, tasting each other, moaning dirty and breathlessly into each other’s mouths.

Brendan was the first to move though, withdrawing his cock from Ste and giving him one last lingering kiss before he left Ste alone on the bed and went to clean himself up; Ste was blissed out and thoroughly fucked, but the time alone left him stuck feeling riddled with guilt. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes, brow furrowed as he lay there, trying to figure out how to be less of an abhorrent failure of a human being, finding himself distracted by the way the bed dipped and a hot tongue soon repeated itself against his stomach, tracing over his drying mess. He cracked open his eyes and looked down, watching the way Brendan lavished his stomach with long slow licks and open mouthed kisses. Ste reached and touched his cheek lightly, smiling when Brendan looked up at him, letting out a quiet laugh when Brendan shifted up the bed to settle down beside him,

“What?” Brendan asked with a smile, he’d brought a wet cloth with him and was now using that to wipe Ste clean as they talked quietly,

“You’ve got somethin’ on your moustache,” he snickered, grinning like an idiot as he brushed his thumb over the little smear of cum clinging to the dark hairs. His expression turned to disbelief when Brendan intercepted his hand and licked the bodily fluid from his thumb, Ste let out a breathless little sigh, he could never get over how Brendan just lapped up his cum like it was a delicacy.

Brendan tossed the cloth aside once Ste was clean, wrangling the two of them under the covers before pulling Ste flush against him and kissing him lazily, Ste snuggled up closer and pushed Brendan onto his back, curling up against his side. He started to have doubts though, thinking maybe he should go back to his own room, voicing his thought quietly and earning a shrug,

“I’ll wake you, stop the night,” he promised, wrapping his arm tight around the teen as if to say he didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter.

“Alright,” Ste smiled, getting comfortable with his head on Brendan’s chest, it hadn’t been very long but he’d missed this a lot, dozing off in Brendan’s arms as they lay in bed together.

 

Ste awoke to an abrupt knocking on the door, startled into reluctant consciousness by Brendan shoving him quite bodily off the bed, though he was half asleep so he responded with silence and confusion,

“Get down,” Brendan hissed through his teeth and Brendan obeyed miserably, curling into a ball on the floor between the edge of the bed and the wall, staying quiet as Brendan called out and the door opened.

“Hey da?” Declan’s voice woke Ste up properly and he began to panic quietly, praying the teen would leave quickly,

“Mh… what is it Deccy?” Brendan asked, yawning and making like he hadn’t just kicked Ste out of bed,

“Have you seen Ste? He’s not in his room an’ he’s not downstairs… I’m worried he might’ve left…” he sounded so heartbroken and Ste wanted to reassure him, but he bit his tongue and stayed down,

“No… Why would he leave?” Brendan sounded suspicious, which made Ste even more nervous, he didn’t think Declan would tell him they slept together, but if he did Ste knew he wouldn’t come out of that argument unscathed.

“I dunno… he didn’t seem happy yesterday,”

“I’m sure he’s fine… maybe he’s stepped out or somethin’,” Brendan suggested,

“Why?”

“Do I look like I’d know?” Brendan snapped, irritable,

“Jeez, sorry,” Declan huffed, “If he’s not back soon will you help me look?”

“Steven’s a big boy Declan, I’m sure he’s fine,” Brendan dismissed and a click signified the door had closed and a hand found his hair and gave him a ruffle, “he’s gone,” he grunted, sounding like it hadn’t just been one hell of a close shave.

“I’d best go then,” Ste piped up, standing and hunting his boxers down to pull them on, about to head for the door to sneak out but Brendan’s hand held tight to his arm, pulling him. He tripped up a little and ended up in Brendan’s arms, though he didn’t complain, giving him a coy smile before pushing up for a kiss. Brendan gave a quick peck back before easing Ste to arm’s length and led him toward the dresser, “Bren?” Ste asked, Brendan released his wrist and dug through his clothes for a plain looking t-shirt and some jogging bottoms,

“Get dressed,” he insisted, shoving the clothes into Ste’s awaiting arms,

“Huh? Bren my room’s right there,” Ste frowned,

“You’re not goin’ out there, he might see you,” Brendan rubbed at his face, “Use the window,”

“Bren I’m not _spider-man_ ,” Ste balked, “I ain’t climbin’ out the _window_ ,”

“Y’are,” Brendan warned, “ _Please_ Steven…”

“Why would I be outside?” Ste sighed, he wasn’t good at coming up with good excuses on the fly, years of shitty excuses to hide his abuse were evidence of that. He watched as Brendan looked around, soon looking at his jacket on the chair and sighing in disbelief, he picked the jacket up and rifled through the pockets.

“I can’t believe I’m about to do this…” he pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand as he walked over, holding out what looked like a hand rolled cigarette with the end twisted shut,

“Is… that’s weed…” Ste said slowly,

“I run a club… these things… _show up_ from time to time…” he gritted out, jerking his hand up when Ste went to take it, “Do _not_ smoke it,” he warned,

“I won’t, I’m not into that shit,” Ste balked, offended Brendan would even _think_ he’d actually want the joint. He wondered if he could get away with selling it, a small compensation for having to _climb out the fucking window_ , he took the offered joint and slid it behind his ear whilst he pulled on Brendan’s jogging bottoms, moving the joint to his pocket when he pulled on the long sleeved t-shirt and stepped into a pair of Brendan’s trainers, wondering if Declan would recognise his dad’s clothes, though Ste had similar clothes himself, just not as new. “This is so dumb,” he grumbled as Brendan opened the window for him, he couldn’t help but compare this to jumping out of a plane, just the way it seemed almost routine, though Ste was sure he was one of the few, possibly the _only_ person Brendan had slept with that was stupid enough to listen when told to escape through the window.

 

He stepped out onto a slightly sloped roof, it was only a few feet across and seemed safe enough, not that Ste had any idea where to go from there, “Uh, Bren?” he said shakily, intending to lean back in, “How do I get down?” he gave Brendan a pathetic look and Brendan rolled his eyes.

“Steven have you seen my house? It practically has footholds,” Brendan griped, gesturing to the wall next to Ste, he looked over and Brendan was right, the design of the walls was almost slat-like in its stonework, so it _should_ in theory be like climbing down a ladder, not that Ste was a big fan of _that_ either. “Take this and go,” he urged, handing Ste a lighter, presumably for credibility rather than using it, “I’d rather my neighbours didn’t get suspicious, and see a teenager scaling my house,” he added before gently easing Ste so he wasn’t leaning in the window any more, closing off Ste’s potential to bottle it, and a quick look to the side showed his bedroom window was closed too so he _had_ to climb. He shook his limbs out, nervous and trying to calm himself down as he stepped towards the edge of the lip, looking down at the drop, it was only one storey but Ste quickly realised there was a massive flaw in Brendan’s plan, because the roof he was on was the overhang above the front door, he turned and swore at Brendan’s bedroom window, both hands, before looking back at the small front garden he had to get down to.

He ended up panicking a little, and while in retrospect he probably could have gone to the corner next to his bedroom window and climbed down the other side, he ended up whimpering his way down a smooth support beam, terrified he’d go too quickly and hurt himself. He survived the slide and staggered back, jogging from the minute lawn and sitting on the wall outside, pulling the joint from his pocket and fiddling with it with shaky hands. He was half tempted to try smoking it, but he’d have just felt guilty as all hell when Brendan found out, besides, the front door opened and Declan called out to him excitedly,

“Ste!” the teen sounded thrilled, Ste looked over his shoulder at him and smiled, shoving the lighter and joint in his pocket when Declan sat next to him and pulled him into a hug, “I thought you’d left,” he sighed as he let Ste go,

“Why would I leave?” Ste frowned,

“Cause of last night…” he mumbled, “I thought I’d scared you off with the whole… knowin’ it wasn’t _a thing_ ,” he air quoted as he spoke,

“Nah I mean… we’re still mates, we’re good, I thought…” he trailed off,

“I know… an’ I meant what I said, I’m okay with it being a friend thing… and I know I sort of… I feel like I pressured you a bit last week, maybe freaked you out… but I’d rather be your friend than make you uncomfortable like that…” Declan sighed, and he looked dejected for a moment before perking up with a laugh, “I’m not gonna help you shack up with my da though, that’d be weird,” Ste laughed nervously at that comment, trying not to let his guilt shine through. He settled for giving Declan a smile though, the other teen always managed to awe him, he could go from soppy to stubborn to having everything figured out in a heartbeat, Ste just couldn’t _do_ that.

“How do you do it Dec?” he got a questioning hum for that, “You got… well you got _shot down_ by me, an’ then there was last night… and you just… take it so well, like you’re over it, like you didn’t get used by your best mate,” he felt awful saying it out loud, it settled an awful truth that he just wasn’t a good person, despite Declan telling him otherwise.

“I dunno, I’ve got exams comin’ up, not got time to dwell on all that stuff,” he shrugged, “Besides, I got to have my first time with someone who means the world to me,” Declan bumped their shoulders together with a smile, “That’s gotta count for somethin’ right?” Ste didn’t answer, he didn’t really know what to say to that, but he didn’t get much of a chance because Declan had switched topics, “So what’re you doin’ out here anyway?” he asked,

“Uh… needed a smoke I guess…” he didn’t pull the joint out, not sure he wanted Declan to think he was like _that_ ,

“Oh… well I know I said I wasn’t gonna help, but he _hates_ smokers, like to a fault, threatened to punch a guy for lightin’ up next to him one time when we were out,” it took Ste a moment to realise Declan was talking about his dad, “Plus, it’s bad for you,” he added lamely after,

“You coulda just told me it was bad for me,” Ste laughed,

“Yeah but I figured thinkin’ with your dick might work better,” he joked and the two had a laugh about it, falling quiet when Brendan sauntered out of the house,

“Found him then?” Brendan asked, perching on the wall on Ste’s other side,

“Yeah,”

“Told you there was nothin’ to worry about, Steven’s not leavin’ us any time soon, are ye?” he smiled and Ste smiled back, shrugging awkwardly when he heard Declan’s quiet ‘ugh’,

“Not unless you lot get sick of me, anyway, I’m goin’ inside, I’m freezin’…” he grumbled, pushing off of the wall and leaving them sat outside whilst he returned to the warmth of the house.

 

It surprised Ste how easy things felt after that, there was no awkwardness between him and Declan, _or_ between him and Brendan, and despite the fact that Brendan wasn’t affectionate at all towards him due to his son being there, Ste did get the occasional _look_ from him when Declan wasn’t looking. But Monday rolled on and Ste’s excitement for a week of risk free fun and affection with Brendan was getting the better of him, he felt cocky as all hell, which led to him back chatting when he was told off for talking in his last class of the day.

“Ah leave off it’s not like it’s important,” he huffed irritably, about to turn back to his conversation when the teacher addressed him again,

“Well considering the one person in this class who needs this information most is _you_ Ste, you might want to shut up and start paying attention,” she bit back, “Stay behind after class,” she insisted, which made Ste’s stomach drop, Brendan would be out waiting for him, he didn’t _want_ to be stuck getting a stupid lecture from his English teacher.

Despite himself, he obeyed the order, waiting sulkily as the other students left the classroom, watching with a scowl as Ms Marshall turned a chair around and sat opposite him, giving him a pitying look,

“Wot?” he snapped,

“Ste please,” she sighed, “You’re going to fail your English GCSE if you don’t knuckle down,” Ste just gritted his teeth and stared her down. He wasn’t interested in her belittling him over this again, “This is one of your most important grades, it’s required for every job you will apply for,” she tried,

“Alright… can I go?” he asked impatiently, his phone had vibrated in his pocket and he wouldn’t have been able to answer if he _could_ pull it out and check his messages,

“You haven’t even started your coursework, you were supposed to start it _last school year_ , I’m getting tired of badgering you and I’m sure you’re fed up of hearing about it, I sent a letter to your parents, I’ve sent _numerous_ letters to them over the past year and a half, but nothing’s changed,” except Ste’s had _numerous_ beatings that could have been avoided, he wanted to tell her, shout at her and blame her for all those times a stupid letter had caused him to miss school because he was ‘sick’. Instead he just seethed silently, listening to her as she pressed him for a response, not getting anything from the stubborn teenager, “I’m going to have to get your parents to meet with me,” this caught Ste’s attention and he paled,

“Don’t,” he let out quietly,

“Well it doesn’t look like the letters are getting there, I’m going to have to call them,” she warned,

“No you don’t, I’ll just… I’ll not mess about in your lessons, just don’t call my parents,” he cringed,

“Or you could do some of your assignments,” she suggested,

“I don’t even know what they are…” he mumbled, watching sulkily as she stood and went to her desk, pulling a few cardboard folders from her desk and pulling stapled papers from each, neatening the pile she’d collected before returning.

“Here,” she held them out to him, “Do at least one of these by Monday and hand it back to me,” she said, but Ste gave her a pathetic look, surprised when it worked, “At least get a _plan_ to me Ste, or a rough draft, _anything_ , and I’ll hold off,” she promised,

“I’ll try,” Ste mumbled as he took the papers, just agreeing so he could leave, trying to calm himself down,

“Thank you, you can go now,” she smiled warmly but Ste was on his feet and stuffing the papers into his backpack as he walked out the door, not saying anything when he got into Brendan’s car, waiting for Brendan to get back in the vehicle and drive them home.

 

He’d managed to calm himself on the drive home, but Brendan ruined it when Ste was making them something to drink,

“So… any reason you were late out?” he asked absently, leaning on the counter a way away from Ste, who had frozen up, chest heaving as the panic he’d felt earlier at failing once more and having his parents dragged into school to deal with it, which would end with him leaving _with_ them and being stuck under Terry’s thumb for an indeterminate amount of time. “Steven?” he let out an abrupt cry when Brendan spoke to him, like his name had triggered something in him that had him violently sweeping their mugs and the kettle off the side, the ceramics smashed and the kettle gushed boiling water across the tile. Ste’s arm burned where skin had touched hot metal and Brendan’s arms were around him, dragging him away from the steaming water that was spreading towards the teen’s sock-clad feet. “Steven! Hey, hey it’s okay, it’s okay,” they were out of the kitchenette, Ste could feel Brendan’s hand cradling the back of his neck, the man’s breath on his skin as he shushed him and told him repeatedly it was okay, _he_ was okay, but Ste didn’t feel okay, sobbing into the shoulder of Brendan’s leather jacket, hugging his arm protectively. “Steven what’s going on?” Brendan asked, and his fingers on Ste’s neck felt so soothing, “Steven talk to me,” Brendan tried, but Ste’s anger flared up and he shoved Brendan away,

“No! Get off me!” he snapped when Brendan tried to grab him again,

“Steven _Christ_ , what happened? Was it Terry? Tell me that piece of shit didn’t show up,”

“It’s not _him_ ,” Ste sobbed, “it’s _me_ ,” he crumpled at that, looking at the mess he’d made, the water had stopped spreading but the mugs were shattered and it just made him feel even worse, “I’m so _stupid_ ,” he wanted to hit himself, felt like he deserved to be hit for being such a pathetic excuse of a human being, “I’m gonna fail school, I’m never gonna get a job, I’m gonna end up homeless and probably on drugs or something cause I’m _dumb_ ,” the words came out in a flurry and he barely took a breath as he let it all out, letting Brendan hold him this time,

“You’re not stupid Steven…” Brendan’s hands cupped his cheeks and forced him to make watery eye contact with the older man, “trust me, I’ve spent enough time with you to know that,” he gave Ste a reassuring smile, “sit down, calm down, we’ll talk about this,” he stroked tears from Ste’s cheeks and Ste gave him a confused look, wondering why they needed to delay, “I need to tidy this up,”

“I should do that…” Ste sighed miserably, looking at the mess,

“Don’t worry about it, go on,” Brendan’s hands were on Ste’s neck now and he ran his fingers along the back of Ste’s neck before letting them slip away, Ste did as he was told and curled up on the couch, tears falling silently down his cheeks as he waited for Brendan to come back over.

He was in bits again when Brendan finally sat down next to him, an arm pulling him close so he could lean on Brendan and sob against his chest, Brendan’s hand was on the back of his head, stroking through his hair as he shushed him and waited for him to calm down enough to talk about the problem.

“I’m gonna fail English…” he mumbled finally, feeling Brendan kiss the top of his head as a sort of ‘reward’ for opening up,

“Is there anythin’ you can do? Do they do extra credit or something?” Brendan asked, sounding unsure,

“Nah I’ve not done my coursework cause I couldn’t get my head around any of it…” he admitted, hearing Brendan breathe a quiet ‘jesus’, “She’s said I’ve got time to hand it in… but… I can’t do it…” his voice cracked at the end and he buried his face in Brendan’s jacket,

“It’s not my strongest subject, but I’ll help you if you want? You got a timeline for this?” Brendan tried and Ste could hear him cringing, like this was more than he’d signed on for,

“She wants one pretty much done by Monday…” he sulked, looking up at Brendan who gave him a raised eyebrow before closing the gap between them and kissing him lightly,

“Christ, best get started then,” he was about to move but Ste held him a little tighter and kissed him again,

“Give us half an hour first, yeah?” he asked, giving Brendan a hopeful look,

“Half an hour, _then_ we start,” Brendan insisted, meeting Ste in another chaste kiss, just keeping his arms around the teen and letting him settle down.

 

They scraped through Ms Marshall’s deadline with an essay outline on Of Mice and Men, which she was happy enough with, but it was eating away at Ste’s ‘Brendan time’ by giving him a different, incredibly _boring_ ‘Brendan time’, where he’d end up sat for four hours every night at the dining table, Brendan sat opposite him doing his books or reading a page of essay Ste had finished, massacring his essay with a red biro and a dictionary for words neither of them were sure about.

“Jesus Steven your spelling is something special…” Brendan commented, he’d said this a lot over the past few weeks, it meant Ste’s spelling was crap, which he was well aware of, “You’ve written Frankenstein wrong in maybe… six different ways so far on this page alone…”

“Well surely one of ‘em’s right,” Ste mumbled,

“Nope, not a single one,” Brendan chuckled, “oh wait no… no… that’s not right either…”

“Shurrup alright, so I can’t spell, big whoop, when are you gonna stop makin’ fun of me and suck my dick?” Ste huffed,

“ _Steven_ ,” Brendan warned softly,

“Sorry…” Ste sighed, he was miserable and horny as hell, Brendan wasn’t _withholding_ sex exactly, they just weren’t having it as often because of all this dumb coursework he had to get done and how little time he really had to do it all. He turned his attention back to his essay and continued writing, the words all muddled on the page, it was starting to give him a headache and he was tired of it, plus he couldn’t stop thinking about Brendan, not even writing about a miserable reanimated corpse was dissuading the boner he sported under the table. He let out another miserable sigh and opened his mouth to complain once more, looking up and around when he noticed Brendan was gone, a quick glance around the room confirmed that Brendan hadn’t wandered off, and he was smiling to himself when hands pushed his thighs apart and worked the zipper of his school trousers open. He carefully pushed his chair back, Brendan following after him and pulling his dick from his pants, quickly taking it into his mouth, wetting it once before paying special attention to the head of his cock. The feel of Brendan’s mouth around the head of his cock, tonguing the slit and bristling hair against the sensitive skin of his shaft, it wiped the slate of his mind clean, all thoughts of coursework and school failure washing away with each swipe of tongue.

“God Bren…” he gasped, lacing his fingers through Brendan’s hair, pulling it to urge Brendan’s hot wet mouth further down his cock, keening happily when Brendan sank down to the root, puffing hot air through his nose into Ste’s pubic hair; his toes curled off the tile floor and he bit his lip as he tried to keep his hips still. Brendan seemed to sense him tensing up and his hands slid up Ste’s thighs and to his hips, hands urging Ste to fuck his mouth, which the teen started to do the moment his feet touched flat on the ground again.

The blow job was short and sweet courtesy of how long Ste had been silently fantasising instead of focussing on his essay, so he was shooting cum down Brendan’s throat in no time, pulling the man up into one hell of a dirty kiss when some of his jizz was still on Brendan’s tongue. He’d never kissed Brendan _quite_ so soon after shooting his wad in his mouth, but it felt weirdly nice and he was thoroughly enjoying himself, happy to continue as they ignored the ringing of the phone. Brendan didn’t seem too happy about being astride Ste’s lap though, pulling the teen from the chair and turning them around, pulling Ste back onto his lap, their mouths not parting for a single moment as they moved.

He was swallowing some of his own cum down when the Brendan’s answering machine gave a shrill beep and a voice travelled through the room, he looked over to the machine curiously whilst Brendan began to suck a mark low on his neck, where he knew Ste’s shirt collar would cover it.

“ _Brendan… it’s your father…”_ there was a pause and Ste waited for some kind of acknowledgement from Brendan, but he just continued to roam his hands over Ste’s body like he was going to dump him on the table and fuck him at any moment, “ _I know you’re there son, pick up the phone, I don’t want to have this conversation with your answering machine,_ ” the voice continued to no avail, “ _Brenda_ ,” it was short and curt and Ste could have _sworn_ he’d dropped the ‘n’, and it seemed to get _something_ out of Brendan, who stiffened briefly before digging his fingers into Ste’s hips and grinding the teen down against his hard prick, staring intently at where they were practically joined.

“Maybe you should answer it…” Ste said quietly, even though he knew Brendan’s dad wouldn’t hear,

“Shut up Steven,” Brendan snapped irritably, not lifting his gaze, blatantly ignoring the phone call even as his father continued.

“ _Son…_ ” there was an irritable exhale, “ _I’ve got cancer… lungs, smokin’s finally caught up with me, caught up a while ago, but I couldn’t worry your sister…”_ Ste was mortified that Brendan seemed so intent on keeping this going with _that_ in the air, pushing Brendan’s hands from his hips and standing up, leaving Brendan to stare quietly at his balled up hands, stiff and brooding, “ _you and her are coming back to Ireland… **soon** … I want to say goodbye to my children before I die,_” he didn’t even say goodbye then, just hung up and ended the message, Ste wasn’t sure what to do, giving Brendan a sympathetic look and reaching to touch his face,

“Bren I’m so sorry,” he breathed, Brendan’s hand slapped his away and the man pushed up onto his feet and crowded Ste against the table,

“Don’t. Fuckin’. Touch. Me.” He gritted out an inch from Ste’s face, Ste felt spit hit his skin before Brendan brushed past him and headed for the phone, holding something down until it chirped and proclaimed the message was deleted, he then retreated upstairs, leaving Ste stood alone trying to put two and two together.

What sank in had Ste at a loss for what to do, so he just stood there, perched on the edge of the table trying to deal with this knowledge, an assumption he was pretty confident he was right about.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much easier to write, I got it finished on Thursday, which is good because I've taken on a buttload of overtime. Still waited to post it though. I'm enjoying writing this a lot more now, I think I had a bit of block but I'm glad I persisted and I hope you guys enjoy. Thanks again for all the wonderful support you've been giving me :)

Ste hesitated in the doorway of Brendan’s bedroom, expression nervous as he watched Brendan sat on the bed facing the wall, fingers drumming out a panicked Morse code against his thigh whilst his knee bounced a mile a minute. Seeing Brendan like that _hurt_ , he was so rattled by one little phone call and Ste really felt for him, he knew that feeling too well; just knowing Terry was home could ruin Ste’s day, even if nothing came of it, he’d be on edge and twitchy, which always made him a smart mouth, which always got him hit. He let out a quiet sigh and stepped into the room, Brendan didn’t even turn his head, not even when Ste began to speak,

“I think I was like… five or somethin’, I still had them barrier things on the sides of me bed…” he laughed nervously, “I woke up cause I heard me mam cry out, so I climbed out of bed an’ went downstairs…” Ste trailed off, trying to see if Brendan was listening. He hadn’t turned his head to acknowledge Ste but his fingers had gone from tapping his thighs to curling tightly in the fabric of his trousers, digging into the meat of his thigh. “He’d smacked her so hard she was bleedin’,” he swallowed as his voice gave a pathetic little wobble, “so I cried, cause I knew that she was hurt… and Terry told me to shut up, but I couldn’t, cause I was a kid an’ I was cryin’, so he gave me a smack, a normal one, on the bum, like parents used to do without it bein’ called child abuse, but that made me cry harder,” he wasn’t even looking at Brendan now, lost in a memory that had him hugging himself protectively, wishing he could think about anything else, “What he did… It was the first time I’d had to go to the hospital, mum said I’d fallen down the stairs… that that’s how I broke my arm… where the bruise on my face had come from too,” he said distantly, looking up and feeling like he’d just remembered who he was talking to, Brendan had moved, head turned to the side, watching him through the corner of his eye.

“I was eight the first time it happened…” Brendan confided, and Ste made to move closer but Brendan turned away and Ste noticed the shiver of a flinch and stopped, waiting, “Lyin’ in that bed… in the dark… There are two sounds I can remember…” he started, “my mum comin’ up the stairs… and then _him_ … him comin’ up the stairs…” Ste frowned then, this didn’t sound right at all, “Funny thing is… when he came up I used to feel safe… then… overnight…” Ste almost missed his whispered “not so safe anymore…” he could feel his blood running cold, he hadn’t expected _this_. Brendan looked so horridly vulnerable, hunched over and unable to _quite_ look at Ste, “sometimes I’d pretend to be asleep… Didn’t make a difference… just meant he didn’t have t’ talk to me…” Ste didn’t know what to do, it was clear Brendan wouldn’t want him close right then, that he was too consumed by the memory to take physical contact as anything but a trigger. “I’d just close my eyes you know… do my eight times tables…” Ste couldn’t stand uselessly in the doorway any longer, tracing the edge of the room with a hand as he found the far corner and slumped down against it, hugging his knees to his chest and watching Brendan, he just wanted to be in Brendan’s line of sight, as some kind of comfort if it worked. The whole while Brendan muttered his eight times table and it was like hearing a ghost whispering in a long hallway, distant and cold enough to send a shiver down Ste’s spine, the breath he sucked in when he stopped seemed to ground him and he opened his eyes, not quite looking at Ste, “I was top dog at my eight times table…” his expression became almost childlike, a broken little smile, he looked like he could cry, “Got a gold star…” he glanced over at Ste with an unsure smile before his expression sobered and darkened again, “got me a gold star…” he uttered quieter this time, falling silent and clasping his hands together, letting it all sink in for the teenager.

Ste was honestly at a loss for words, he didn’t think Brendan would open up to him _at all_ about his abuse, he certainly wasn’t expecting to find out it was worse than anything he could have conjured up. But it sort of made sense to him, Brendan’s father was a child molester, sexually abused _his own son_ , _Brendan_ , and Ste had no doubts in his mind that his old man knocked him about a bit too, like it was Brendan’s fault that he got these disgusting urges.

 

The realisation he had then was dizzying and he hated himself for not thinking it sooner, “Bren…” Ste let out, he hadn’t been sure how to respond to Brendan’s admission until now, because he didn’t want to sound like he felt sorry for Brendan, he wanted Brendan to know he understood, even if what they went through wasn’t the same.

“Steven…” Brendan sounded hollow, like all the life had been sapped from him by that memory, and that crushed Ste,

“You… you’re nothin’ like him… aright?” Brendan looked at him, shocked, “me an’ you… it’s… it’s nothin’ like what he did… you’re not like him at all…” he assured, thinking back to how scared Brendan had been when what he’d done to Ste had sunk in, sure, Brendan had hit him, but Ste felt almost positive at this point that Brendan would do his best to ensure that he never did that to him again, and he _had_ to assure Brendan that everything between them was consensual, that Brendan wasn’t molesting him or abusing him the way Brendan’s dad had done to him.

“ _Steven,”_ Brenan let out as a whisper, he seemed so shocked that Ste would say that to him, like he’d never expected to hear it,

“You’re not, you’re nothin’ like him, he’s sick, an’ he’s a bully,” he had _definitely_ heard right in that phone call, Brendan’s father had called him Brenda, trying to humiliate and probably manipulate him, “you’re better than him… he knows what he did… and… and I’m glad he’s dyin’,” he let out, voice shaky but his expression was dark and he hoped to hell the old man suffered before he finally kicked the bucket. “Don’t go to Ireland…” he let out after, he wasn’t sure if it was selfish or if he was trying to be protective, but the thought of Brendan going to Ireland for _that man_ , he couldn’t deal with that, “Please don’t go…” he rubbed at his face, trying to hide the fact that tears were threatening to fall, but Brendan had seen.

“Don’t cry Steven… I’m not goin’,” he looked up and Brendan was giving him a sad smile, “I’m not,” he repeated, “I’m stayin’ here…” he exhaled slowly and shook his head, “with you…” he added nervously, not quite looking at Ste but half-reaching to him, inviting him to come close. Ste was on his feet like a shot, sitting heavily next to Brendan and forcing his way under the man’s arm, clinging to him and being pulled into a tight, desperate hug a moment later.

 

That hug was the start of a defining fall down a slippery slope for Ste, he’d not realised it at the time, but as the weeks went by, things shifted and changed between them, and as he did his best to openly prove to Brendan that he was a good man and that their relationship wasn’t forced, he slowly started to realise that what they had _was_ a relationship. It hit him square in the chest when he and Brendan were leaning over the dining table to meet in a kiss, he sat back down with a stupid little smile on his face, it was a weird thing to consider, but for all intents and purposes, he and Brendan were _in a relationship_ , or at the very least _dating_. They shared a bed most nights, cuddled up on the couch to watch movies or TV shows, shared takeout, talked about work and school, touched each other even when they didn’t need to, the only thing they weren’t was open about it. They couldn’t be really, Ste didn’t think Declan would be _too_ mad about it, but Brendan didn’t want anyone to know they were seeing each other, terrified of the judgement of others, potentially because it could get back to _Seamus_ , Brendan’s dad, or that’s what Ste figured it was, Brendan never expressly stated _why_ they were hiding it from _Declan,_ possibly the only person who _would_ understand.

“As much as I’d love to celebrate you finishin’ the last of these,” Brendan gestured to the papers on the table, “I _do_ have work to get ready for,” he admitted apologetically, Ste’s dopey smile wasn’t deterred though, the teen just offered a shrug and began putting his things away, he was done with his assignments and hadn’t been given any homework from his other classes for once.

He was slotting the shiny new plastic wallets Brendan had bought him to keep his assignments separate into his bag when Brendan held him from behind, hands resting on his hips as he pressed a quick kiss to Ste’s neck.

“Aright,” Ste chuckled,

“You don’t seem too sad about me goin’,” Brendan grumbled against his skin, clearly put out by Ste’s lack of reaction to his departure,

“What did y’want me to say? Don’t go to work? I need to get fucked?” Ste asked, continuing to put his things away,

“You bein’ funny with me Steven?” Brendan asked suspiciously,

“What like sarky or _funny_?” Ste asked, there was nothing _wrong_ between them, he didn’t think he was acting cold or anything, and to prove a point he turned around and pushed against Brendan, “Wake me up when you get home yeah? Show you how _not_ funny I’m bein’,” he gave a wicked little smirk as he said it, one he knew got Brendan’s bright eyes darkening with lust.

“One of these days I’ve got to bring you to the club…” he growled against Ste’s mouth as he closed the gap between them and they kissed, open mouthed and noisy, they always sounded so feral,

“Hmmm?” Ste let out when they slowed, looking lazily up at Brendan, his smile had gone dopey again and he knew it,

“Got a nice glass desk in the office I reckon’d support your weight a treat,” he curved his hands around Ste’s backside and the teen let out a soft gasp.

“ _Brendan_ ,” he smiled, he was half tempted to suggest they try it out, but he knew Brendan wouldn’t do it, for one he couldn’t have a sixteen year old at the club, even before the night rolled in properly, and two, it was too risky, too public, and _someone_ would notice the manager taking a teenager into the office for however long and the pair of them leaving dishevelled. “I wish…” he sighed,

“Maybe when you’re older…” Brendan trailed off, clearly he’d noticed how it sounded like a father-son interaction, rather than what it actually was. It had happened a few times and made things a bit awkward, but Ste usually pushed past it and coaxed Brendan back into their normal routine, which he did now, leaning up and kissing him softly.

“I’ll hold ya to that,” he smirked, “you sure you can’t stop a bit longer?” he asked, looking hopeful as he bit his lip suggestively, Brendan gave an irate growl and kissed him,

“Would that I could Steven, but we’ve got new staff on,” he looked disgusted at the prospect of new staff at the bar, it was kind of funny,

“Ah fine…” he sighed, “Oh can you take this one with you?” he asked, easing from Brendan’s arms and pulling his final assignment out, holding it out to Brendan,

“Red pen?” Brendan asked, looking at the title of the essay,

“Red pen,” Ste agreed, Brendan hadn’t looked over this one yet, he was going to ask about it tomorrow but he figured Brendan might get a chance during a lull at work, he usually did, which he appreciated more than Brendan knew.

“Sure… sure I can do that…” he folded the papers and tucked them under his arm, “Gotta go get ready, see you later, don’t wait up, you’ve got school,” he cupped Ste’s cheek and drew him into a quick kiss, Ste grinned when he left, besotted with the sheer domesticity of that little kiss.

 

Ste awoke in the early hours of the morning to the bed dipping, rolling onto his back and smiling when he saw Brendan lying beside him, propped up on an elbow and looking at him quizzically,

“Heya,” he sighed sleepily, expecting Brendan to lean down and kiss him like he always did,

“Steven,” he greeted, voice low and rough and far too sexy for Ste to process, “I think you might have dyslexia,” he nodded surely, and Ste frowned at him for an awkward few seconds before cracking a _really_ shitty joke,

“If I do, I caught it offa you,” he prodded,

“What? No, Steven I—“ he looked so confused, Ste felt a bit bad,

“I know what dyslexia is Bren… but you gotta admit, sounds like it could be a sex thing,” he explained with a huff, “I appreciate you tryin’ to find a reason I’m thick but…”

“You’re not thick Steven,” Brendan growled, not keen on the self-deprecation.

“I know, I just can’t spell, or read, or… oh…” he stopped then, looking at the ceiling and frowning, jaw slack as he mulled that over, Brendan’s chuckle brought him back though, “Wot?” he snapped,

“Your face,” Brendan smiled,

“What about it?” he scowled,

“Beautiful, of course,” Brendan was being sarcastic, but his voice was fond and he leant and kissed Ste lightly, the two slipping easily into gentle kissing; Ste turned fully to Brendan and eased against him, smoothing his hands over the dark hair on Brendan’s chest and smiling as they parted. “So,”

“So… dyslexia? You think?”

“They seriously should’ve picked it up when you were in school,” Brendan grumbled, sounding irate,

“They wrote me off…” Ste shrugged, “bad kid, bad grades, lost cause,” he prattled off the list of things he’d been called at parent-teacher conferences his parents had very rarely managed to attend, usually he was sent alone, where they’d just berate him for not letting his parents know about the event. With each word Brendan’s expression grew darker,

“They’re fucking idiots… they were when I was in school too…” he grumbled,

“And look at you now,” Ste said wistfully,

“Yeah, fuckin’ a child who is far too much like I was…” Brendan huffed,  
“And runnin’ a club, successful business that is, fuck em,” Ste grinned when Brendan nodded even if it was sort of dismissive,

“Rather fuck you,” Brendan smirked, Ste felt a little bad about not really being in the mood anymore, but he cuddled close to Brendan,  
“Can we just talk a bit instead?” he asked, he was a bit worried about this dyslexia thing, it would explain a whole lot, but it was still a scary thing to consider,

“Christ Steven, I fuck men because they don’t talk in bed,” Brendan sighed melodramatically,

“Well go fuck _men_ then,” he huffed, punching Brendan lightly, “Just remember who you like fuckin’ better,”

“Mh… I’m good here…” Brendan hummed, wrapping his arms around Ste, “Go on, talk,” he urged,

“Promise you won’t fall asleep on me,” Ste poked at him as he said it,

“No promises, talk,” he grunted, nosing against Ste’s cheek before rolling onto his back and pulling Ste against his side. Ste curled against him habitually, resting his cheek on Brendan’s chest and sighing,

“What does it mean? What happens now?” he asked, voice shaking a little,

“You get it confirmed I guess… the school should… there’s this girl at work, saw me goin’ over that last essay of yours…” he explained, “she suggested it, she says the school should provide someone to help you read or somethin’,” he frowned as he said it, “they sit your exams with you too,”

“Ain’t that cheatin’?” Ste frowned,

“Nah, no Ste, dyslexia is a disability, it’s just an aid,” Ste reeled a little,

“A disability?” he didn’t want to be disabled, he was different enough already,

“It’s a manageable one, you just… get help… it’s nothin’ really, loads of kids have it, loads of adults manage with it,” he shrugged and Ste felt a little better,

“You sure?”

“I’m sure, I’ll get you whatever you need, promise,” Brendan nudged Ste’s chin with a finger and Ste looked up, smiling when Brendan kissed him. “Get to sleep, we can figure out steps to take tomorrow,” he assured, running his thumb against Ste’s bottom lip before kissing him once more. Ste rested his head on Brendan’s chest again after and sighed through his nose, happy and content, even though he was nervous about what would happen next.

 

Ste was reluctant to get up in the morning, Brendan had opted not to get up early to exercise which meant that when Ste’s alarm went off on his phone, Ste was still curled around a warm body,

“Muh let me wag off,” he yawned,

“Get up Steven…” Brendan ordered sleepily, he sounded like with some pushing he’d probably agree to let Ste stay home, but Ste decided not to let him cave, letting out a pathetic moan of dismay as he disentangled himself from Brendan’s embrace and the duvet, slouching out of bed and leaving to figure out where he’d left his uniform. He got dressed in his room, Brendan was boiling the kettle when he arrived downstairs, they had replaced the old one since it had started smoking profusely whenever it was used after Ste had thrown it, Ste liked this one better anyway, it was quiet, so he could still hold a conversation when the damned thing was boiling.

“Hiya,” he greeted, hugging Brendan from behind, smiling when Brendan twisted and wrapped an arm around him, drawing him to his side,

“Mornin’ Steven,” he hummed, “Your essay’s on the table,” he gestured with a nod, “Tea or coffee?”

“Uh… Tea?” Ste answered, slipping from under Brendan’s arm to go look at his essay, “thanks for this, I’ll copy it up in maths or something,” he didn’t actually mean to say that out loud, pausing and turning to stare quietly at Brendan, waiting for him to comment, but Brendan just raised an eyebrow and shook his head, smiling to himself as he made their drinks.

They helped themselves to cereal and sat quietly together at the island counter this time, Brendan had procured a newspaper at some point and was reading it whilst he ate, Ste had his essay in front of him, not bothering to read it through because it would take too long.

“You headin’ out on foot or do you want a lift?” Brendan asked when Ste was washing his bowl and putting his last few things into his backpack,

“If it’s not any trouble,” Ste looked over hopefully, he couldn’t be bothered,

“No trouble, gonna nip to the shop too, get a few things we need,” he said absently, folding his newspaper up and leaving it on the side, quickly slurping away the last of his drink as he stood.

“Don’t forget the condoms,” Ste joked, even though they _were_ kind of running low,

“God I won’t,” Brendan chuckled, slipping an arm around Ste and giving him one long lingering kiss before they left the house together.

 

Over the weeks, Ste had earned the title of being an absolute _shite_ in the car and had them leaving for school earlier and earlier, the teen reaching across to Brendan, resting his hand on Brendan’s thigh, his fingers tracing the outline of Brendan’s dick as he kept his eyes forward, smirking as he felt Brendan getting hard.

“Steven…” Brendan warned, but it was a little game they played and Brendan’s warnings fell through as their route to Ste’s school became longer than it ought to and they took a detour to a pretty bleak, abandoned looking part of town, parking in a narrow alley, too narrow for them to get out of the car easily, but that wasn’t what they were there for. Ste unfastened his seatbelt and leant over, unzipping Brendan’s trousers and easing his hard cock from his pants, he absently licked his lips as he looked at it, he’d never given head before, not even to Brendan, but he _really_ wanted to, and Brendan seemed to sense this, stroking the back of Ste’s head before pushing it gently down towards his cock. “Go on…” he urged quietly, Ste was all nerves as he leant down, swallowing shakily and wetting his lips again,

“Bren I don’t… I’ve not…” he admitted as he glanced up at the older man,

“Surely, I’ve given you enough head for you to have _some_ idea of what you’re doing Steven,” Brendan chuckled, but he’d stopped applying pressure to Ste’s neck, stroking it gently now, soothing and comforting him,

“I’m a terrible student,” Ste quipped in return, he was absently stroking the length of Brendan’s cock as he hesitated going down on him,

“I disagree,” Brendan hummed, giving the back of Ste’s neck a light squeeze in appreciation for what he was doing. Ste smiled then, courage bolstered by the pleasure in Brendan’s voice and a desire to do this for him, he dipped down, feeling Brendan’s fingers scratch through his hair as he let out a breath he knew Brendan could feel. He licked his lips once more before tracing his tongue over the slit of Brendan’s cock, it was salty and hot to the touch, but not _bad_ , he’d had a second-hand mouthful of his own cum on more than one occasion, he couldn’t really complain about Brendan’s taste. His hand continued to gently stroke the base as he wrapped his lips around the head and flexed his tongue against it, feeling Brendan push a little before loosening up, obviously not wanting to force Ste into anything since this was his first time sucking cock. He was hesitant in his licks and sucks and when he got the courage to take more into his mouth he swallowed nervously and was surprised at the moan of praise Brendan gave him. “That’s it… deeper… good boy…” Brendan whispered roughly and there was something about that ‘good boy’ that had Ste obeying, he was nervous as hell as he tried to take Brendan deeper into his mouth, feeling himself start to gag a little and withdrawing, releasing Brendan’s prick from his mouth and puffing breaths on it as he tried to relax, swallowing a couple of times to try and sort himself out. Brendan was oddly patient, letting Ste slowly sink his way half way down his cock, gag reflex prohibiting him from going further, so what he couldn’t get in his mouth he stroked with his hand. He shifted to rest his free hand on Brendan’s right thigh, bobbing his head a little, glad Brendan had moved his seat back, he loved the feel of Brendan’s cock in his mouth and his hand in his hair, guiding him down and tugging his hair on the withdraw.

He wasn’t as skilled or sure as Brendan was, he knew that much, but Brendan seemed to be enjoying it regardless, praising him when he did something particularly good, struggling to not fuck into Ste’s mouth. He gave Ste ample warning when he was going to come, but Ste pulled off, looked up at him, and gave a lusty smirk,

“I want you to come in my mouth,” he let out huskily before taking Brendan into his mouth again, working him quicker with his hand, tongue, and lips. Despite wanting it, the feel of Brendan coming in his mouth was a shock, hitting the back of his throat and flooding his mouth, he managed not to choke and swallowed reflexively, he swallowed it all down with tears in the corners of his eyes, sitting up and breathing heavily, tongue stained salty.

“Christ…” Brendan gasped,

“Not bad?” Ste asked, wiping his mouth on his hand, then rubbing his eyes on his sleeve,

“ _Good_ ,” Brendan corrected with a smile, “c’mere,” he chanced a brief kiss before tucking himself away and turning the engine back on, “let’s get you to school,” he said, looking uncomfortable with the reminder of Ste’s age.

 

Ste was buzzing at school, thrilled that Brendan had said he’d done good and also excited that he’d finally finished his stupid essays, he’d absolutely copied the corrections out in maths as soon as the teacher stopped talking to everyone.

“What’s gotten into you?” Declan asked over lunch,

“I’ve finished my essays, I handed the last one in at break,” Ste beamed, it wasn’t the main reason he was happy, but it was all he was willing to tell Declan, “have you heard back from Ames?”

“Yeah she says she’s not feelin’ well,” Declan shrugged, but Ste had to frown at that,

“Not feelin’ well? Amy practically had Swine Flu last year and that only just stopped her showin’ to school,” Ste frowned, it wasn’t like Amy to have time off over just not feeling very well.

“I dunno it’s all she said… I’m a bit worried about her, she’s not been herself lately,”

“I know… but I dunno what to do, she doesn’t want to hang out and _him_ over there doesn’t know what’s up with her either,” Ste scowled,

“He’s acting fuckin’ sketchy an’all,” Declan huffed, looking across the way to where Josh was hanging out with his mates, they weren’t about to talk to him though, they’d tried that already and been shut down by a very anxious and irritated teenager.

“I’m sure she’ll tell us if somet’s up,” Ste shrugged after a while, Amy shared her problems, unlike Ste, because she was the kind of person who did that and felt it helped, which was why she tended to try and get Ste to do the same. He was definitely worried about her though, but as he’d said, she’d tell him at some point, she always did, so he was hopeful that would be the case this time,

“Alright… So your essays… my da’s been helpin’ you?” Declan asked with narrowed eyes,

“Yeah…” Ste said slowly, not sure why Declan was looking at him like that,

“How come you let _him_ help you an’ not me?” Ste didn’t think Declan had meant to sound the way he had, but it came across sort of bitter and Ste got defensive quickly.

“I dunno he was just _there_ alright,” he snapped,

“Ste, I didn’t mean owt, it’s just… I’ve been askin’ if you needed help with your English for _ages_ …” Declan sighed,

“I… might’ve had a bit of a meltdown…” Ste admitted, he hadn’t told Declan about his tantrum before, even though it had been a while ago now,

“What? God Ste what happened?” Declan went full concerned friend mode, shifting closer and pressing their shoulders together,

“I just… I got my last warnin’, she said she were gonna call in mam an’ Terry… I couldn’t… I couldn’t let her do that right…” he sighed, “she said she’d give me a last chance, get an assignment done or planned or _somethin’_ in a week, then she’d give me the chance to do all of em…” he explained, he felt dumb for reacting so badly, especially given how _easy_ it all turned out to be with Brendan helping him. Sure he’d stumbled over his words when he was reading paragraphs aloud to clue Brendan in on what he was talking about, and his spelling had been unbearable, but he understood the text, he had interesting views and opinions on the essay titles, and he’d even had to cut down some of his essays a _lot_ because he’d gone too in depth. “I got upset about it… threw things… broke the kettle…” he admitted sheepishly, watching as Declan’s eyebrows shot up,

“You didn’t get hurt did you?”

“Bit of a burn on my arm but it weren’t bad, just hurt for a while…” he shrugged, rubbing his arm where he’d burned himself on the kettle, there wasn’t a mark or anything, but it _had_ been painful at the time.

“I’m glad you let my da help you,” Declan sighed after a while, “he’s pretty top,” Ste chuckled at that, his mind had taken a dirtier route but he wasn’t about to tell that to Declan,

“He’s aright, thinks I might be dyslexic though,” he frowned then, he’d been a bit nervous about telling Declan, who looked genuinely surprised, “We’re gonna talk about it later, he’s findin’ out what to do about it, cause the school ain’t done shit… an if I _am_ …” he shrugged,

“Well everyone’d feel really shitty about writin’ you off, I _told_ you you’re smart,” Declan seemed thrilled for some reason, but Ste didn’t question it, the bell rang and they had a class to get to together, where their topic of conversation changed completely, even though Ste noticed that Declan seemed to cast him odd looks every now and then.

 

They were meant to part ways after school, Declan’s mum had shown up to pick him up, which had been a little awkward as she’d spotted Brendan and started talking to him rather irately, not happy he’d shown up on a day that ‘wasn’t his’.

“Calm down Eileen, I’m here for Steven, he’s stopping at mine,”

“Why the hell is a teenage boy stopping at _yours_?” Eileen asked, giving Ste a scrutinising look,

“Trouble at home, not that it’s anyone’s business but his own,” Brendan snapped, he’d been calm and collected up until then, unfazed by Eileen’s obvious distaste for his ‘lifestyle choices’ which were clearly the point of contention,

“Can we go?” Ste asked, he was uncomfortable around Eileen anyway, he didn’t like being around her like _this_ , and he certainly wasn’t happy Brendan had told her he had home problems.

“Well aren’t you the knight in shining armour,” she bit out before looking at Ste again, Ste shrank under her gaze and her expression softened, “I’m sorry you’re having trouble Ste,” she said sympathetically, giving him a smile that seemed genuine, “I’m sure your parents love you and miss you Ste, maybe you could fix things?” she suggested,

“Not likely,” Ste sighed, he’d seen Brendan flare in anger but the man said nothing, because Eileen’s expression turned from sympathy to shock as she looked at the crumpled teen and jumped to her own conclusion.

“That’s just pathetic,” she huffed, “I’d… I’d _never_ turn one of my boys away if they were… If they were like you,” she couldn’t quite say ‘gay’ which was what she was clearly going for as she cupped his cheeks and made him look up, “you’re welcome to stay with us when you get sick off putting up with _him_ ,” she had a smile on her face as she gestured to Brendan, who almost looked amused. Ste was genuinely surprised, nodding a little,

“Okay, thank you,” he offered a shy smile as she released his cheeks, turning to Declan and gesturing to her sleek looking Porsche,

“Bye Ste!” Declan grinned, Eileen gave a wave too, “Bye Da,”

“Declan, Eileen,” Brendan nodded his goodbye and climbed into his car, waiting for Ste to get in. Ste made himself comfortable, cheeks turning pink as he thought about what had happened in the car this morning, grinning to himself, “What’re you smilin’ at?” Brendan asked,

“Your dick, my mouth,” Ste smirked,

“Mmm, fond memories,” Brendan chuckled, looking behind him as he reversed out of his spot. Ste managed to wrangle his thoughts as they drove, looking over at Brendan,

“She really doesn’t like you does she?” Ste asked curiously,

“Eileen? We get on better than we did when we were married,” he shrugged, “She was just a bit upset, thought I was sniping Deccy from under her nose,” he added like he understood why she’d been a bit confrontational.

“Ah right…” Ste hummed,

“You know, that back there? That was pretty huge for her, she’s a good catholic girl, accepting queers like us isn’t in her upbringing,” he noted, and Ste had to admit it was a total flip from the first time they’d met and he’d overheard her warning to Declan,

“She told Declan to ‘be careful around boys like me’,” he admitted, “when I first went over, last time I’ve been there actually…”

“She scare you off with that? She’s a bit… difficult to like at first… amazing woman though, I’d’ve done anything for her, her and the boys were the only _good_ reason I ever wished I wasn’t… how I am,” he hummed thoughtfully, “Things could’ve been different there either way…” he sighed, and a silence drew out between them that said that conversation was well and truly dead.

 

When they arrived home they parted ways, Ste heading for the dining room table whilst Brendan jogged upstairs throwing out some comment about taking a leak, which Ste ignored in favour of pulling his homework from his bag and sitting down with it. He’d made a new start by finishing his English assignments and wanted to work harder in his other classes too, he’d so far managed an average grade through putting in minimal effort, but he now knew he could do better across the board, so he wanted to prove it.

He was puzzling over his maths book with a blunt pencil when Brendan finally came downstairs, the older man sitting down next to him and watching him for a long while,

“I thought you were done with those yesterday,” Ste looked up from his homework and shrugged,

“My assignments yeah, but I still get homework don’t I?” he explained, Brendan drummed his fingers on the table by Ste’s open maths book, tutting quietly,

“Sack it off,” Brendan huffed, Ste gave a frown then, “I’ve got tonight off, forget your homework,” he gave Ste a suggestive smile and Ste lit up before sobering his expression.

“So?” he asked innocently,

“So… I feel like I’ve been… _neglectin’_ ye… and we never did get to celebrate that finished essay of yours,” he purred, Ste couldn’t stop his lips twisting into a smirk,

“Oh yeah?” Brendan’s hand had slipped from the table and was on Ste’s thigh now, rubbing it gently.

“Yeah, so I’m gonna take you upstairs, fuck you til you can’t take it anymore, then we’ll have a little break, get food, chill out, then, well I guess it won’t _technically_ be round two, but…” he trailed off and Ste filled in the gaps as he eagerly began shoving his homework into his bag, “Steven leave it,”

“Nah I don’t want to forget my shit in the mornin’,” Ste huffed, it didn’t take long anyway and he was soon reversing up the stairs, shedding clothes like they were on fire whilst trying to keep his mouth on Brendan’s as much as possible, eternally thankful for the button up shirts they both wore.

 

Brendan was fucking Ste for the third time that afternoon when Ste couldn’t take it anymore, he _had_ to let it out, and it was almost too perfect a scene, Brendan was knelt on the bed, Ste straddling his lap, seated on his cock, they were so painfully close to each other and their orgasms, and their mouths had barely parted the whole time. He broke the kiss finally, panting and pressing their foreheads together,

“Bren,” he gasped, “Brendan,” he urged again, Brendan’s eyes finally opened and met his gaze, hands marvelling Ste’s hips again and again, Ste felt so full and so completely overwhelmed, “I…” the words caught in his throat but he _needed_ to say it, had wanted to last night when Brendan had climbed into bed with him, but couldn’t find the right moment. “I love you,” he let out finally, “Brendan I _love_ you,” he said again, feeling tears prick at his eyes as his words sank in and he just felt so deeply vulnerable and exposed here. Brendan just gasped, hands tracing up Ste’s sides, moving to cup his face, to draw him in and slot their mouths together slowly whilst his hips rolled deliciously slow, altering the pace of their fucking to something completely different. It felt like so much more than just sex, the way their bodies shifted together as they kissed, and every other breath had Ste uttering it again and again like he couldn’t get enough of it, like the only way he’d stop, and even then only temporarily, was when Brendan said it back.

“Steven…” Brendan gasped, “ _God Steven_ ,” Ste stroked his hands down Brendan’s cheeks, holding him close, kissing him lightly, waiting with baited breath for those words to slip out, because he could tell by the look on Brendan’s face that they were going to.

“ _Jaysus_.” The two of them snapped their heads to the side, looking to the open bedroom door, Ste felt a chill run through him at the sight of Declan standing there taking in the scene before him, of his best friend and his dad _fucking_. “Jaysus…” Declan repeated, shaking his head in disbelief and turning to leave,

“Deccy!” Brendan shouted after him, pulling out of Ste and shoving the teenager off onto the bed, the suddenness of it actually _hurt_ Ste, who took a moment to lie on his back and whimper, confused and watching as Brendan pulled some clothes on hurriedly, “Declan!” he shouted again, dashing from the room, Ste could hear him running down the stairs.

He lay there for longer than he meant to, shell shocked and sore, trying to process that _Declan knew_ , he shook it off as best he could, scrambling off the bed and pulling the first clothes he could find on, some of Brendan’s, before nervously leaving the room. He was scared of facing Declan, lingering at the top of the stairs, taking them slowly when he finally descended, carefully stepping over his school uniform and Brendan’s suit. He sucked in a shaky breath when he headed for the door, peering cautiously into main room, where Declan was sat at the dining table, Brendan sat opposite him.

“Declan _please_ , look at me,”

“I can’t believe this…” Declan muttered to himself, and Ste felt nothin but guilt, wanting to reach out and apologise,

“I swear, I swear to god it was one time, a mistake,” Ste’s stomach dropped and he looked to Brendan in confusion, “It was nothing, he’s just a kid, I… I should’ve said no… I know that… I… it meant _nothing_ , I swear, Declan please,”

“What?” Ste let out, he didn’t mean to open his mouth, he meant to turn and run, Brendan didn’t even look at him, just closed his eyes and cringed, as if to silently curse Ste for having the gall to be offended and upset. Declan was looking at him though, and Ste didn’t even think to try to apologise, looking between Brendan and his son in confusion, “What?” he asked quieter, visibly sagging and trying to blink away tears, which only managed to force them to fall sooner. He watched through watery eyes as Declan looked expectantly at his dad, but Brendan just gave a half shake of his head, not willing to move,

“Declan please,” he whispered, ignoring Ste entirely, it cut deep and Ste bolted, hearing Declan snap ‘Da what the hell?!’ as he rushed upstairs.

 

He slammed his door behind him, looking around frantically, he didn’t know what he wanted to do, but it didn’t take long for him to grab the nearest breakable, a glass that had been left on his bookshelf god only knew how long, and hurtled it at the far wall, turning back to the shelf and shoving everything else off it, pictures and books alike. He wanted to tip the whole thing over but he lost his wind of anger and started crying, standing there sobbing and rubbing at his face until he decided everything was beyond repair and headed for the wardrobe, pulling out one of the bags he’d brought his things over in and shoving his clothes into it. He didn’t care about the rest of his stuff, he just needed his clothes and his school bag, which was downstairs; he was still ramming clothes into the bag when a knock at the door froze him solid,

“Bren?” he asked quietly, watching the door crack open,

“It’s me,” Declan announced, he looked miserable and nervous as he looked around the room, “Are you okay?” he asked. Ste didn’t understand why Declan wasn’t mad at him,

“Go away,” he sniffled,

“Ste what’re you doin’?” Declan asked as he got closer, rounding Ste and peering at the bag on the bed, “Ste?”

“I’m leavin’, I don’t wanna be here anymore…” he spat, his shoving had filled the bag to the brim with less than half his clothes and it was pissing him off, “For fuck’s sake!” he shouted, tipping the bag up and starting over, starting to fold a t-shirt and cocking it up a little bit, which was enough for him to screw it up in frustration and throw it at the wall.

“Jesus Ste calm down!” Declan yelped, moving to hold Ste, who shoved him off angrily, Declan stumbled but managed to stay on his feet, watching Ste in shock; Ste crumpled in guilt,

“Dec I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry_ ,” he broke down again and was surprised when Declan pulled him in for a tight hug, “I’m sorry…” he muttered into his shoulder,

“If you’re sorry then don’t go,” Declan pleaded, Ste pulled away and looked miserably at the door,

“I can’t stay here… not after that…” he sighed, he really thought things were good between him and Brendan, he thought he felt the same, “Why would he _do_ that?” he asked, “things were so… I thought we… I thought he…” he couldn’t finish, “ _I love him_ …”

“I know… I know… he’s a fuckin’ idiot…” Declan sighed, holding Ste tighter when Ste clung to him and buried his face in his shoulder, “I don’t think he meant that stuff…” he said after a while, stroking circles into his back to soothe him.

“Doesn’t matter… I can’t… I can’t be around him after that…”

“Then come to my mam’s, you heard her,” Declan tried desperately,

“Dec I can’t be around you… I _lied_ to you,” he admitted, he felt awful, “I lied to you an’ I used you, I’m the _worst_ …” he choked out, wiping his face and easing from Declan’s arms,

“It doesn’t matter Ste, you’re my best mate… an… I know he’s my da but… if you… if you meant that… if you love him… I get it… I can forgive that…” he sighed, “I’m still pissed off at him though…” he insisted with a scowl, “idiot…”

“I’m goin’ Dec…” Ste said, finalising it in his own mind and turning to pack his clothes neater this time, trying to keep calm and collected just because he didn’t want to be crying when he finally went downstairs.

“Ste please…” Declan tried again, “Where are you gonna go?” he had Ste at that, there was no way he could stay with Amy, especially unannounced, and there wasn’t really anywhere else he would want to be,

“Home…” he breathed like he couldn’t believe it himself.

Ste hefted his bag over his shoulder and stomped downstairs, he didn’t linger in the main room when he stopped to grab his school bag, Brendan was still sat at the dining room table, staring darkly at the surface. Declan sidled past Ste when he reached the doorway and balled his hands into fists,

“ _Da!_ ” he snapped, Brendan looking over slowly, “Ste’s _leavin’_ , he’s goin’ back to Terry’s, _do something_!” Declan’s pleading hadn’t gotten Ste to change his mind, but if Brendan apologised, explained himself and why he’d said that shit, maybe Ste would stay and talk this out. Ste was _desperate_ for Brendan to stop him,

“He’s old enough to make his own decisions…” Brendan sighed, sounding hollow and disinterested, looking away from the two teenagers.

“Jesus Da, what the hell?!” Declan balked, Ste grew stubborn then, if Brendan was going to persist in being like this, then he was wrong about him, “Da he _loves_ you, you can’t just… you can’t just _let him go back there_ cause you got caught short!” Declan was yelling now, fuming at his father, “I don’t _care_ if you’re together okay? _I don’t care_ , don’t let him go back!” Ste turned and left then, he couldn’t listen to this, he couldn’t bear to think he was the cause of Declan falling out with his dad. “Man the fuck up Da, tell him you were talkin’ shit, tell him what you said isn’t true, _please_ ,” Ste stopped at the front door, listening, but Brendan said nothing, so he left.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Ste was done crying by the time he reached the familiar old council house, it had started to go dark and there was no car outside, he wasn’t even sure if anyone was home as he stood there, staring bitterly at the door and wishing it hadn’t come to this, he half wondered if it would be so bad sleeping rough. He knew where some good spots were to hide, he’d run away from home enough times to know where to go to not get mugged whilst he was sleeping, but the front of the house was soon lit up by the headlights of a car pulling into the drive. He turned, shocked and wide eyed, feeling like a stunned deer and rooted to the spot, terrified that Terry might ‘accidentally’ overshoot and hit him, but the car stopped short of him and Terry rushed out of the car.

“Ste...” he let out in disbelief, looking the teenager over, “What’s going on?” he asked, and Ste reeled off a familiar spiel,

“I’m sorry for leavin’… I was stupid… and what he did…” Terry had fully healed by now, but Ste had to apologise, had to shrink into that pathetic little rodent Terry made him, the quicker he submitted to his old life, the easier things would be, “I’m sorry,” he cringed, flinching when Terry approached him and stiffening when the man pulled him into a hug.

“It’s okay Ste, you’re home now, it’s fine…” Terry assured and every fibre of Ste’s being was on edge, this wasn’t like Terry at all, he was distracted though, because the front door of the house unlocked and his mum was there,

“Ste!” she cried out, rushing to hold him, crushing Ste in possibly the most uncomfortable hug of his life, he wasn’t sure if he’d _ever_ been hugged by Terry, it certainly hadn’t happened recently. The hug ended shortly after and Terry patted Ste on the back,

“Guess I’d best get back in the car then,” he announced,

“Huh?” Ste frowned, adjusting his bags nervously,

“I’m gonna head to the chippie, get us some grub, you get unpacked and settled mate,” Terry’s kindness was unnerving but Ste accepted it with a hesitant nod, “Invite your _mate_ round, the pretty one, Amy? I’ll get her something,”

“I can’t,” Ste said abruptly, earning a frown, “I’ve got no credit, an’ she’s not been well lately,” he added nervously,

“Ah right, shame, nice girl that one,” he shrugged before getting into the car. Ste exhaled slowly, trying to settle his nerves as he let his mum guide him into the house and up to his room, it was different now, _finished_ , they’d take his absence as a good time to decorate the room. He wasn’t sure what to think of that, but the room had an oddly modern, simplistic air to it, which was upsetting given where he’d just come from had a similar (if more expensive) décor.

“I’m glad you’re back Ste,” his mum said, eyes wet and her expression soppy, Ste thought maybe she’d actually missed him, which made him feel bad, because he hadn’t missed her at all,

“Me too,” he lied, forcing a smile at her, “Can I have a bit mum? I’ll be down in a few,” he promised and she nodded, lingering briefly to smile at him like he was a fond memory before she left. He sat down on the edge of the black and white bedspread, so different from the weathered sheets he’d had before, he was half sure they’d planned on renting his room out or something, because this certainly wasn’t for _his_ benefit. It felt surreal being back here, and a part of him was already erasing the time he’d spent with Brendan like it had never happened at all, that strange feeling he also tended to get when he went back to school after a half term or end of term break, only it left an awful ache in his core that he didn’t know how to ignore.

 

Ste had been sat there for so long that it was Terry who opened the door and leant in after a knock, “C’mon mate,” he urged, “oh and here,” he threw something to Ste, the teen fumbling for it before it flitted to the ground, he bent to pick it up, turning the top-up card over and looking at it in surprise, “you said you were out,” he shrugged before leaving Ste to it. He was blown away, Terry had bought him £15 worth of credit for his phone, once again an uncharacteristically nice gesture, Ste usually had to _beg_ the man for money to top up his phone, and even then he’d end up with a list of chores he never seemed to do to Terry’s standard before he’d get anything, so his ‘reward’ would be less than was promised. He tucked the credit-card looking thing into his pocket, feeling saddened when he realised it was _Brendan’s_ pocket, but shaking it off and heading downstairs to eat with his parents.

They ate out of the bags for ‘authenticities sake’, Ste curled up in an armchair, his old battered one had been moved downstairs, whilst Terry and his mum sat on the sofa together; Ste was even using a wooden two-pronged fork, it was oddly nice to sit and eat dinner with his parents, if a little awkward.

“So Ste,” Terry piped up, Ste looking over at him with wide eyes, acknowledging him, “How’ve things been?” he sounded genuinely interested and Ste couldn’t help but give in to the need to boast,

“Good yeah, I’ve… I’ve finally done them essays,” he announced,

“Yeah?” Terry hummed,

“Yeah, I handed the last one in today, well proud,” he beamed, “I… realised some stuff while I were away… that I’m not the best I can be, an’ when I were doin’ them essays, an’ they were gettin’ easier, I realised I could be,” he was grinning down at his tray of chips and kebab meat, “So I’m workin’ harder in all my classes now,”

“That’s great Ste! Isn’t it Terry?” his mum smiled, there was something watery about the expression but there usually was with his mum, he’d always blamed the drinking.

“Absolutely, bout time you knuckled down,” Terry nodded, watching Ste for a long while before returning his attention to the TV, “You know last night’s score?” he asked,

“Nah, not kept up,” Ste shrugged, he’d not really watched football at Brendan’s, it wasn’t that Brendan didn’t like football, because he did his fair share of cursing at the ref during the weekend games, but during the week it was their time, and Wednesdays always meant Ste had been at football himself, and he couldn’t be bothered to watch people better than him when he was exhausted and had homework to do.

“Brilliant, me either, got it recorded though, got one of them Sky plus boxes when you were gone, dirt cheap, conned a deal out of the tight fisted cunts,” he smirked as he spoke, waving a blocky remote at Ste before turning the TV on and putting yesterday’s match on. Ste grinned to himself, he _never_ watched football with Terry and his mum, he was always too scared to come downstairs in case he fucked up. He was starting to wonder why he’d been so terrified about coming home, the welcome was warmer than he’d expected, and he sort of thought that maybe time away had made them care a bit more.

 

He figured when he got upstairs an hour and a half later that he should probably let Declan know he was okay, so he went through the laborious rigmarole of topping up his phone, sending a quick text of _‘home fine, things r gud :) –S x’_ but it didn’t send straight away, his phone sending him an automated text to say he had no credit.

“Fuck off, I do,” he huffed, figuring he’d just wait for a bit, he got another text a few minutes later thanking him for topping up his phone, then the bar across the top flashed with a notification with a 2 on it, they were both notifying him his text had sent, so he dismissed the notifications and got ready for bed. He was nodding off when his phone buzzed and lit up, he picked it up off the side table and slid it unlocked, checking the message Declan had sent him. _‘better b, da’s b-in less of a tit, no sry yet, will keep u updated –D x’_ he rolled his eyes as he read it, about to text back when Declan beat him to it, _‘nvm just stormed off, wtf is his problem????? –D x’_ Ste sighed then, wondering if Declan had told him he was texting Ste or something. He felt unbelievably bad that Declan was angry at his dad because of _him_ , it wasn’t fair that Ste’s naivety was ruining their relationship, Declan had been so happy to be getting to know his _real_ dad, and Ste had ruined it.

 _‘Dec just leave it pls, I’m ovr it_.’ He realised quickly that he’d not signed off properly and regretted it, because he _always_ did the same thing and not doing that would flag something as wrong, as if to prove Ste right, Declan texted back in record time, _‘Fine but ur not –D x’_ and Ste tossed his phone aside and pointedly tried to get some sleep, he’d have to deal with Declan at school tomorrow, _god_ he hoped Amy was off sick, he didn’t want to explain this to her just yet, because there was nothing he could say that would justify him returning to his parents unless he opened up about Brendan.

 

He fretted about it in the car to school the next morning, genuinely surprised that Terry had offered him a lift but too distracted to question it, climbing out when he got to school and thanking his step-dad for the lift. He saw Amy first, she looked awful, pale and puffy eyed, like she _really_ shouldn’t be in school, but the look she shot him when she noticed him told Ste that _he_ was the reason she’d turned in today. He hung his head as he approached her, expecting some comment on the fact that he’d just been dropped off by _Terry_ , he stopped just short, waiting for the questions,

“I can’t believe you…”she sighed, “His _dad_?” that wasn’t the comment he was expecting, his eyes widening in horror as it sank in.

“Oh god…” he didn’t know how she knew and that terrified him, “Ames…”

“Don’t _Ames_ me, you slept with your _best friend’s dad_ ,” she hissed through her teeth, “the least you could have done is _not_ slept with him too,” Ste felt sick, but mostly at himself, her words were a sharp reminder that he wasn’t as good a friend as any of his friends were to him,

“I’m sorry…” he let out quietly, “I didn’t mean for it… I thought… I thought Dec’d be better for me I just… I’m sorry,” he almost broke down then,

“Better for you? You were with Brendan _before_ you slept with Declan?” she gasped,

“You… you said…”

“I _know_ what I said Ste, I was expecting ‘I didn’t think anything would happen!’ not… not _this_!” she balked, she looked like she was going to be sick but Ste wasn’t sure if that was the revelation or just because of how she’d been ill lately.

“Amy calm down please, it were nothin’,” Ste tried, taking Amy’s hands to try and calm her,

“Not according to Declan it wasn’t,” she pulled her hands away,

“Dec said it was fine, he said…” Ste was distraught thinking that Declan had lied about their time together, that he’d hurt his friend so much more than he’d thought by sleeping with him,

“Not Declan, Ste,” Amy sighed, “ _Brendan,_ ” Ste felt his expression harden at what she was getting at,

“It weren’t nothin’,” he spat, he didn’t want this to be about his little misguided confession,

“Ste…” her anger was gone, she knew Ste too well to know this was anything but him being stubborn,

“Please stop…” he sighed, “it’s done, it’s over, I’m…”

“Living with _Terry_ again…” Amy sighed, okay to change the subject but not to the extent Ste had hoped,

“I don’t have much choice…” he admitted,

“Declan said you could’ve stayed with him at his mum’s,”

“Declan _was_ stoppin’ at his mum’s, I dunno why he was even at the house…” that still puzzled him, and he was surprised when Amy gave him a hug,

“I’d talk to my dad but…” she trailed off, “he’s not exactly agreeable lately…” she admitted, embarrassed and looking hurt,

“Is somethin’ wrong Ames?” She looked up at him then and he thought she was about to say something, but she looked past him and offered a wave,

“Declan! Over here!” she called out, looking relieved that she’d been prevented from saying whatever it was she was about to say. Ste whipped around, stomach dropping when he saw Declan stood by the sleek black Merc his father owned, and on the other side,  Brendan, stood looking over at them with an unreadable expression, he locked eyes with Ste before looking down at the ground. Seeing Brendan drop his gaze like that surprised Ste, but he didn’t dwell on it, looking shamefully over at Declan before stuffing his hands into his pockets and turning bodily away from Amy when Declan approached and hugged her.

“Alright mate?” Declan greeted, reaching to clap him on the shoulder but Ste jerked away, “Ste?”

“I can’t believe you _told_ her,” he hissed over his shoulder, curling in on himself when his friends moved to occupy his line of sight,

“Who else was I supposed to talk to Ste? I just found my best mate sha—“ he paused before dropping his voice to a whisper, “ _shagging my dad_ ,”  
“yeah well it ain’t gonna happen again so now you’ve got nowt interestin’ to talk about _behind me back_ ,” he huffed,

“Ste it wasn’t like that,” Declan sighed, “I was upset… I needed someone to talk to, I couldn’t talk to _you_ about it, could I?” another sigh, Ste felt unbelievably guilty but he also felt he was right to be hurt by Declan telling Amy.

“You could’ve tried…” Ste mumbled, unwittingly hitting a nerve,

“Yeah sure, ‘Oh hey Ste, you mind if I talk to you about how you _really_ fuckin’ upset me by _lying_ to me an’ sneakin’ behind my back like I can’t be trusted with somethin’ as huge as _who you’re in love with_? Sorry I didn’t say anythin’ earlier, I was too busy worryin’ about _you_ runnin’ back to an abusive home because I caught my dad balls deep in you,’ good chat Ste, thanks for your support in this emotionally tryin’ time that _you’re_ the cause of,” he snapped, somehow managing to keep his voice hushed due to the topic.

 

Ste had seen red, but instead of thumping Declan like every inch of him wanted to, he turned on his heel and stormed off, Amy scolding Declan behind him before calling Ste’s name out and hurrying to follow.

“Ste!” she all but shrieked when Ste threw his entire weight into punching the first person who had the gall to be stood even remotely in his way, knocking the other lad onto his ass and barely letting it register that he’d just floored _Joel_ , potentially the only person in the school who _wouldn’t_ hold it against him.

He had already stormed into his first class of the day when Amy caught up, and she looked even more like shit now, dropping into the seat next to him and breathing like she was going to hurl,

“Ames are you alright?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” she dismissed, “Ste what _was_ that?” she asked, gesturing to the door, stunned when Joel walked in with a bruise already forming on his face, Ste looked over and coloured with guilt as Joel approached,

“Ste,” the Scottish lad greeted, Ste was expecting to be told to stand up so he could take a beating, so he stood automatically,

“I am _so_ sorry,” he let out in a hurry, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah fine… nobody important saw so… yeah it’s okay,” he nodded stiffly, confusing Ste, “I won’t say owt, you were upset, don’t sweat… anyway… this isn’t my class… I should go,” it was an odd interaction and Ste felt unbearably guilty about it, he didn’t get a chance to say anything to Joel, sinking back into his seat as the Scottish lad disappeared,

“This ain’t your class either Ames,” Ste pointed out,

“Yeah well it’s Mr Biggins, he won’t notice,” she shrugged, “I need to talk to you,” she insisted, “What Declan just said…” she brought up and Ste buried his face in his hands with a mournful groan,

“He said it was fine, he said we was fine,” he sobbed, no tears fell but he felt like they could at any moment, “he said he was angry at Brendan not _me_ ,” he was trying to keep his voice down but at this point he didn’t care, as long as he didn’t mention what had actually transpired nobody would be able to figure it out.

“He’s not angry at you Ste…” Amy sighed, and Ste looked out past his fingers at her, disbelieving, “Okay he’s a little angry, but he said he’ll deal with it, he’s more upset that his d… that _Brendan_ didn’t stop you from leaving,” she corrected herself, obviously uncomfortable reminding herself that Brendan and Declan’s dad were one in the same.

“Well why would he?” Ste scoffed, “I don’t mean owt to him, he said as much to Declan,” he’d said those exact words, ‘it meant nothing, I swear’ Ste had heard them, and just thinking them had his soul feeling like it was going to crumble and leave him feeling like a pile of dirt.

“Declan said he didn’t mean any of that stuff…” Amy assured, “and I think I believe him…” she sighed, like she didn’t want to accept the fact that the father of one of her best friends actually cared about her other best friend in a non-platonic way.

“Whatever…” Ste dismissed, “he don’t care enough to stop me goin’ home, so he doesn’t care much at all…” he huffed, resting his chin in his hands, determined not to fall for his friends and their reassurances, after all, they’d been wrong about Ste not earning his abuse, why would they be right about this?

Their conversation dwindled and Ste glanced over to see Amy looking worse than before, pale and covering her mouth, she looked queasy, “Ames are you alright?” he asked, but she was up like a shot and darting from the room, Ste following quickly after her and ignoring the teacher when he shouted for them to come back. “Ames wait!” he called out as he ran after her, slowing to a stop when she slipped into the nearest girl’s bathroom, he hesitated a moment before his worry won out and he followed her in, getting told off by some girls before telling them to piss off. They left and he found Amy in the furthest stall filling the room with the sound of her vomiting,

“Go away Ste,” she managed to gasp when she calmed down, but her ability to talk was once more impeded by throwing up. Ste was even more worried now,

“I’m gonna go get the nurse,” he said hurriedly before rushing out of the bathroom in search of Lynsey, he found her and dragged her from her office to the girl’s bathroom where Amy was no longer being sick, but instead cleaning herself up at the counter. Ste was ushered out of the bathroom and told to go back to his class, he _really_ hadn’t wanted to leave Amy, but he did as he was told and fretted for the rest of the lesson.

 

He received a text during his lesson that Amy had gone home ill, leaving him feeling alone and uncomfortable, even more so when Declan eventually caught up with him at the end of the day, he’d done a great job of hiding but Declan eventually found him heading for the car park at the school entrance,

“Ste! Have you heard from Amy?” he called out as he approached, “I was told she went home sick, how did she seem?”

“Like she was chunderin’ everywhere,” Ste shrugged, still sore about how Declan had talked to him that morning, worried that Declan was going to pretend it had never happened.

“Course… look mate… about this mornin’…” he trailed off as he spoke, trying to get Ste to stop walking away from him with a hand,

“Doesn’t matter,” Ste sighed, it _did_ matter, it mattered a lot, Ste was still hurt, feeling like Declan had lied to him about them being okay.

“It _does_ matter Ste, you’re my best mate,”

“You hate me,” Ste interjected certainly,

“I don’t… I’m just… this… I don’t know why I’m so upset… I sort of suspected it…” he sighed miserably, Ste balked then,

“You… you did?” he asked, he thought they’d been careful, but then if they’d really been careful, Declan wouldn’t have caught them at it,

“Yeah, after we… you know…” he said awkwardly, “I started noticin’ stuff… the way you an’ my da were…” he shrugged, “I don’t think anyone would suspect owt if they didn’t know how you felt… Jesus…” Declan let out a heavy sigh, “you really love him huh…”

“Nah… was caught up in the moment weren’t I, he took my virginity, course I’m gonna feel attached…” he lied, sort of, missing the look on Declan’s first,

“Oh…” he looked over at his friend to see the shock dwindling and cursed himself, Declan thought they’d…

“I never said…” he started to panic,

“I know… I just… I figured… just a bit… weird hearing it out loud…” Declan admitted, “This is so weird…” Ste was just relieved Declan didn’t think he had lied to him, because he’d never outright said it was his first time with a man,

“Well it’s not gonna be is it? Nowt’s happenin’,” he dismissed easily, “I’m gonna stop off at Amy’s on the way home I reckon…” They’d started walking again and it dawned on Ste that it was Friday afternoon, which meant that Declan was _supposed_ to be staying with his dad, then again, he still didn’t know why Declan had been there yesterday, he was too scared to ask though.

He looked around the car park nervously, he didn’t want to risk being offered a lift from Declan in order to get him and Brendan talking, but he was surprised to see Eileen chatting happily to a guy he’d seen photos of when he’d gone to Declan’s that one time, presumably her husband.

“Dec, I thought you spent weekends with your dad…” he said slowly as he turned to his friend,

“Not this time…” Declan scowled and Ste felt guilty, he’d pushed father and son apart, he hated himself for it.

“W-Why not?” he asked, he didn’t want to hear it confirmed, but he knew it was coming, ‘I don’t want to see him anymore’,

“He’s gone to Ireland…” Declan said and heaved a sigh; Ste’s eyes widened, Brendan had _left_? Was he coming back? Would Ste ever get to see him again? He hated himself for diverting so quickly to _wanting_ to see Brendan, but he couldn’t help it, as much as he was loathe to admit it right then, he _loved_ Brendan.

“He’s… for good?” he asked finally, hoping it sounded like casual interest rather than the sheer panic he was going through,

“Nah, he said he was goin’ for a week I think? He’s goin’ with my auntie Chez, his sister, cause my granddad is dyin’,” he said it so casually, and despite Ste’s insides feeling like they were turning to ice at the thought of Brendan going to see his dad, especially after what he’d told Ste and how he’d promised to stay put, he couldn’t express it though, so he settled for trying to be a good friend for once.

“I’m sorry about your Granddad,” he apologised, hoping it sounded sympathetic,

“I never met him,” Declan dismissed, “I met Auntie Chez though, she’s loopy, told me about da bein’ here,” he gave a fond smile then,

“Oh… okay…” Ste was worried about Brendan, and once again he found himself feeling dumb for it, Brendan had hurt him, _again_ , and here he was thinking about him and caring about what was going on with him. He was glad Declan hadn’t met his grandfather though, especially knowing what he did about the man and his treatment of Brendan both as a child and a teenager, he didn’t know what he’d do if he found out that Declan had run the risk of being treated like that too.

“You alright Ste? Everything okay at home?” he asked, gesturing to his mum to wait a sec,

“Things are fine at home… good even… Terry got me credit,” he pulled his phone out and waved it lazily, “and we had takeout,” and Terry actually got him some, which never happened.

“Really?” Declan looked like he didn’t believe him, as if Ste was making up elaborate lies to put his mind at ease, he still ended up narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Ste though, sighing his defeat on the subject, “you’ll tell me if something happens this time, promise me, promise me that you trust me _that_ much,” it was a trust dig again and it hurt, he knew Declan was hurt too and he tried to understand and not take it to heart, but it didn’t sting any less.

“I promise,” and he meant it this time, he didn’t want to lose Declan, he thought he deserved Declan leaving him, but he was relieved he hadn’t, even if things were tense at the moment, “I will, I swear it,” he promised. Nervously, he moved closer to Declan, lifting his arms in a gesture to say ‘can we hug?’ letting out a relieved breath when Declan pulled him into a hug, it was briefer than Ste had wanted it to be, but Declan had to go anyway, his mum was waiting.

“You want a lift?” Declan offered, it would have been easier to accept _that_ offer than if it was Brendan driving, but Ste declined anyway,

“Nah, I’m gonna stop by Amy’s,” he shrugged, Declan nodded and they said their goodbyes quickly, Ste walking briskly from the school, Brendan playing heavy on his mind as he went. He didn’t mean to, but he realised he’d lied to Declan again, he didn’t want to see _anyone_ , and as worried as he was about Amy, he was still sure she’d tell him if there was something wrong, so he sent her a text telling her to call him if she needed anything, and wishing her well before heading home.

 

Over the next week or so Ste was stuck in an emotional limbo, things were still weird with Declan, he was constantly hit with waves of worry and concern for Brendan, who Declan had not heard from since the Friday the man had left for Ireland, and Amy’s return to school seemed almost awkward, she was closed off and distant with them unless it was about _anything_ but how she was feeling. And despite Ste protesting that he didn’t care, Declan gave him an update on Brendan’s lack of contact every evening before he went to sleep and then brought it up in the morning when they met up before class. It was always disheartening, but Ste was dreading it this time, struggling to recover from the events of last night.

He’d been lying awake, toying with his phone, idling on a text he’d typed out ‘ _Are you ok?’_ , it was for Brendan, he wasn’t sure about sending it, deleting it and rewriting it over and over until he gave up on being a complete wuss and hit send. He was surprised when a text tone chirped nearby, frowning at the door to his bedroom and watching it, sucking in a nervous breath and hiding his phone when the handle began to twist, scared to say anything. He watched the door inch open, face lighting up when he saw who it was,

“Brendan,” he gasped, watching the man close the door quietly and approach him whilst checking his phone,

“I’m fine, Steven,” he purred,

“You’re back,” Ste beamed, sitting up and reaching out to touch Brendan’s face as he leant down to meet him, a hand pressing into the sheets wrapped around Ste’s lower half.  
“Yeah…” Brendan breathed against Ste’s lips before kissing him, pushing him down onto the bed and climbing swiftly on top of him,

“What happened Bren? Why’d you…” he wanted to ask why he’d left, why he’d talked to Declan the way he had, but he couldn’t get the words out, throat tight as he felt emotionally overwhelmed by Brendan being _back_ and here _with him_ ,

“I don’t want to talk about it Steven…” Brendan hummed against his skin, kissing down his throat and easing the tightness like he had a magic touch.

“Okay…” he sighed, wrapping his arms around Brendan when he moved up to kiss his lips again, “I missed you,” he smiled.

“Missed you too,” Brendan purred, rubbing their noses together before shifting off of the bed, leaving Ste confused, “so much…” Brendan breathed as he pulled Ste’s covers down, revealing the teen was buck naked, “beautiful…” he whispered, gesturing over Ste like a treasure before he stripped quickly out of his t-shirt and jeans, tossing them aside and slipping his boxers down, revealing his half hard cock. Ste’s mouth watered just looking at it and he sat up, gesturing for Brendan to come closer and engulfing him to the root in one swift motion, surprised at how deep he managed to get Brendan’s cock. Brendan’s hand stroked through his hair and he encouraged Ste to move, dragging tongue and lips along Brendan’s hardening cock, wetting and slipping down til the head was just in his mouth, tonguing at the sensitive underside of the glans as he stroked one hand up Brendan’s wet length, the other cupping his balls. He was confident and sure as Brendan’s cock pushed further into his mouth again, but Brendan didn’t let him blow him for long, pulling away with a reluctant groan and ordering Ste onto his hands and knees on the bed.

The bed dipped behind Ste and he felt Brendan’s hands on his ass, thumbs pulling his cheeks apart, he bit his lip at the sound and feel of Brendan spitting on his nervously clenching hole, looking over his shoulder at the intense way Brendan was watching him, hand releasing a globe of flesh to push two fingers and a gob of spit into Ste’s asshole. He expected it to hurt, but it didn’t, it felt good, _beyond_ good, so he just let himself get lost in the quick buggering Brendan’s fingers were giving him, slicking him and stretching him just enough to make Ste’s pucker kiss the tip of Brendan’s prick when he withdrew his fingers and pressed his slick cock to the opening.

“Bren you need…” he began to suggest a condom but Brendan pushed into him and a moan ripped from the teen like he’d finally got something he desperately needed to survive, it should hurt, it _should_ , but again it didn’t, and he didn’t have the mental capacity to dwell on it as Brendan began to fuck him hard and fast and relentless.

“God I’ve missed you,” Brendan panted against the back of his neck, hunched over Ste as he rammed him, “needed this for so long…” he bit Ste’s neck and Ste let out a low, desperate moan, his cock hard and leaking precum onto his bedding, “near killed me not havin’ you,” Brendan growled, licking where he’d bitten Ste, pressing one hand flat on the bed whilst the other came down to jack Ste’s cock in time with his brutal thrusts.

Their time apart meant neither of them could hold out, and the feeling of Brendan stilling above him and creaming his asshole had Ste shooting across Brendan’s hand and his bedding, giving him a nice wet spot to flop into when his orgasm tuckered his muscles out. Brendan pulled out of him and lay beside him, propped up on an elbow and watching him with a smile, Ste couldn’t help but smile up at him as he rolled onto his back, not giving a shit about the wet patch because _he was with Brendan_.

“Bren… I love you…” he smiled, reaching to touch Brendan’s cheek, tracing his thumb over the man’s moustache, he grinned when Brendan’s hand covered his, but his fingers held too tight and Brendan’s expression sobered.

“I’m not comin’ back,” he said flatly,

“Huh? Ow, Bren you’re… you’re hurtin’ me…” Ste grimaced, confused and trying to bring his hand from Brendan’s grasp,

“What makes you think I’d come back? You think I’d do it for _you_?” Brendan asked, his expression was cruel and he moved to pin Ste with his body, terrifying the teenager,

“I don’t… I don’t understand Brendan…” he let out quietly, cringing when Brendan’s fingers pushed roughly through his hair,

“You mean _nothin’_ to me, you’re a fuck, a bit of high risk fun,” he hissed and Ste could feel tears prickling at his eyes. He gasped when Brendan’s hands slipped from his hair to wrap around his throat, thumbs cutting off his air, his vision blacked quickly and he’d woken up alone in bed, soaked in sweat and boxers and pyjama pants sticky with his own cum.

 

He’d fled his bed and curled up in the corner to cry, mortified by his dream, fully confident that it was just a dream after inspecting his phone and his person, but still thoroughly shaken by it, so he was silently hoping to god that the first words from Declan would be that his dad hadn’t gotten in touch.

Declan and Amy looked shifty as hell when Ste finally arrived at school, he was half tempted to avoid the two but they’d spotted him and beckoned him over,

“Hey guys,” he greeted, sighing heavily and shoving his hands into his pockets after he’d gone through the typical hugs,

“Ste…” Amy greeted like she had bad news, Declan looked just as sheepish,

“My aunt stopped by at the house this mornin’, Auntie Chez,” he elaborated and Ste’s stomach dropped, if Declan’s aunt was back, it was likely his dad was too, but they looked apprehensive, so maybe they were worried he’d be upset that Brendan _wasn’t_ back.

“Okay,” Ste frowned at them, hoping he didn’t look as tired and worn out as he felt,

“Da’s back too, or he will be by about lunch time, Auntie Chez managed to get on an earlier flight over…” Declan explained, watching Ste for his reaction,

“Alright…” Ste said blankly, but inside he was nervous, he’d thought he’d be _happy_ to hear Brendan was back, or at least feel neutral about it, but he was terrified, like somehow Brendan had come back, traumatised him, and then fled, but he _knew_ it was a dream, he had enough reason to be mad at Brendan without adding imaginary sexual assault to the list.

“You okay?” Declan asked,

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” he asked,

“My da…” Declan started, but Ste interrupted him,

“I’m over it, don’t care, life goes on mate,” he forced a smile and brushed past Declan, fully intent on leaving this conversation in the dirt before last night dredged up like bile in his throat.

“Ste!” Declan barked and followed after him, “No need to run off, classes don’t start for like ten minutes,” Declan laughed, he seemed relieved to Ste, and Amy looked brighter just knowing Ste was okay, even if he _was_ putting it on. It sort of hurt that they couldn’t tell his mood was forced, but he didn’t blame them for it, he wasn’t battered and bruised, which was usually what gave him away in the past.

He felt jittery and jumpy all day, barely paying attention in his classes as he tried to compartmentalise and keep nightmares and reality separate, he didn’t know why it mattered anyway, he wasn’t planning on running back to Brendan any time soon.

“Ste?” he jumped at the sound of his name, looking up to see the whole class had turned to look at him, he was being addressed by his teacher, but the door to the classroom was open and the head of disciplinary action, Mr Davies, was stood looking at him expectantly,

“Wot?” he grunted,

“Steven could you come with me please?” Mr Davies asked impatiently, and Ste realised he’d probably been waiting for Ste to start paying attention for a while now. His nerves flared and he stood up, “bring your things,” Davies piped up, and Ste nodded, shoving his things into his bag and turning beet red as he shuffled from the classroom, everyone watching him in silence. He could hear them all start whispering to one another as soon as he had physically left the room, he didn’t know why he was being summoned by the _head of discipline_ , he hadn’t done anything wrong, unless that punch he’d thrown Joel’s way had finally caught up to him.

He followed the balding man nervously, clutching his bag straps like a lifeline, head ducked in case anyone looked through the glass panel of their classroom door and saw him in trouble; he kept thinking about Joel, the teen had said things were fine, had he changed his mind and told someone? Had a teacher asked about the bruise and worked the truth out of him? Why had it taken a week and a half? He decided he wouldn’t mention it, he’d feign innocence until he was proven guilty, things were still okay at home, he didn’t want that to change at all, but if his parents got called about this then he’d be up shit creek without a paddle.

 

He was led to the school reception and then through to the little parental meeting rooms set up for when parents were called in, they were cosy warm looking rooms with comfy chairs, but being in that room either meant you were new to the school or you were on the verge of expulsion. Ste definitely wasn’t new to the school, so he was a bag of nerves as he sat and waited whilst Mr Davies left to fetch someone else, he wasn’t told who it would be though he suspected it was Joel. He was surprised when Mr Davies returned with his English teacher in tow, Ms Marshall was definitely not who he’d expected,

“Ste,” she greeted,

“What’s goin’ on? I handed in the last of me essays last week, you got them,” he said hurriedly, but the teachers sat down opposite him and laid out some papers, _his essays_ ,

“I know Ste, it’s just… I have some concerns,” His stomach dropped then, he thought he’d done really well,

“They’re shit aren’t they? I really tried, I _did_ , I did my best, I spent _hours_ on em,” he frowned when Mr Davies scoffed, not sure why the man had reacted like that,

“Ste, these are _B_ grade essays,” Ms Marshall explained and Ste perked up,

“Really?” his elation was met with judgemental stares and he was confused,

“Which means _you’ve_ screwed up,” Mr Davies pointed out,

“What do you mean?” he asked, he really wasn’t sure why he’d been brought here if his essays were _good_ , Ms Marshall gave Mr Davies a look to stop him from explaining, which meant it was down to her.

“Ste, we’re concerned about the quality of your essays in comparison to previous work you’ve handed in,” she explained, and Ste nodded, he understood that, his work was always abysmal before now, “Ste where did you get these essays?” she asked, Ste frowned then,

“Uh… I wrote them…” he said slowly, it was obvious,

“Son, plagiarism is a _big_ deal, you’ve jumped from an Ungraded to a B in a matter of _weeks_ , isn’t that a bit suspicious sounding to you?” Mr Davies asked,

“Plagiarism? What? I didn’t _nick_ em, I wrote em, I spent _hours_ workin’ on those _every night_ for ages!” he balked,

“Steven,” Mr Davies chastised but Ste was having none of it,

“Don’t call me that,” he spat, “It’s _Ste_ ,” he huffed, “I didn’t _nick_ my essays, I worked _hard_!” he felt tears prickling at his eyes, hurt that they’d accuse him of stealing something he’d worked so hard on, “I worked _so hard_ ,” he sniffed, he was getting angrier the more they gave him that accusing look,

“ _Ste_ , I think we’re going to need some proof,” Mr Davies supplied, “If your parents saw you working on it,”

“They didn’t…” he huffed,

“You spent ‘hours every night’ working on them but your parents didn’t know?” Mr Davies gave him a disbelieving look,

“I weren’t at home,” Ste admitted,

“Well this _is_ getting to be a big mystery isn’t it,” Mr Davies sighed, obviously settled on his opinion that Ste had stolen his work,

“Can I call someone?” he asked, “To back me up… my mate’s dad…” he got a frown then, “I was stoppin’ at there’s… cause he said he’d help me,”

“So you had help,” Ms Marshall pointed out,

“He only checked me spellin’ an’ shit like that…” Ste protested weakly, he didn’t want to call Brendan, he didn’t want to _see_ Brendan, he was struggling to not be scared of the man and he wanted to be able to hate him for what he’d said to Declan,

“Language son,” Mr Davies scolded,

“Sorry…” he huffed, “Can I or what?”

“Tell him he’ll need to come in,” Mr Davies conceded, “the sooner the better…”

“Can I have a minute?” he asked, he didn’t want to call him in front of them but he wasn’t sure he was allowed to just walk out. Mr Davies gave him a narrowed look but Ms Marshall stood up,

“Come on, give him some privacy to make a phone call,” she said quietly and Mr Davies reluctantly nodded and stood, adjusting his blazer before heading for the door,

“Tell reception when you’re done, they’ll call me,” he sneered, giving Ste a scathing look as he pulled the door closed behind him.

 

Ste felt awful, pulling his phone from his pocket with shaking hands, looking down at it and feeling his throat tighten nervously, skin tingling on his neck as he remembered what hadn’t actually happened to him, but had been invited by a dreamt text to the man. He sucked in a shaky breath and thumbed through his phone, he’d never deleted Brendan’s numbers but he should have, thumbing over the contact for BB and hitting his home number, holding the phone to his ear and waiting. He felt like he was waiting an age, the phone ringing out and making him wonder if Brendan hadn’t gotten home yet or if he knew it was him calling and was ignoring him, he sucked in a sharp breath when the phone clicked,

 _“You’ve reached the home of Brendan Brady, I can’t come to the phone right now, leave your name an’ number after the tone,”_ the beep that followed made Ste’s heart drop and he realised he’d started crying just hearinga _recording_ ofBrendan’s voice, so his voice was high pitched and uneven,

“Brendan, it’s me, Ste, I’m in trouble, call me back as soon as you get this… _please_ ,” he didn’t even get to say goodbye before the phone clicked again,

“Steven?”

 


	13. Chapter 13

Ste hung up as soon as he heard Brendan speak, a panic reflex that had him jumping when his phone immediately began to ring, Brendan calling him back, from his mobile this time; he took a few deep breaths before answering with a meek ‘h’lo?’

“Steven are you okay? Where are you? What happened? Was it Terry? Did he touch you? I’ll fuckin’ kill him,” Brendan rushed out, worry and anger tightening his tone,

“No it’s not… it…” he stopped to sniff loudly and wipe at his eyes, “I’m in school right… they think I copied my essays, I… I need you…” he broke off when his voice cracked, “I need you to tell ‘em I wrote that stuff me’self,”

“I’m just grabbin’ a few things, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Brendan said and then hung up before Ste could tell him he didn’t have to come straight away. He looked down at his phone, feeling like a bundle of nerves at the thought of seeing Brendan again, but his heart was aflutter, Brendan had sounded so _concerned_ about him, he couldn’t stop the little smile curling his lips and gave in when it became a full blown grin. He stood up then, trying to force the grin away as he left the room and headed for the reception, he was unsuccessful, beaming at the portly lady as he drummed on the counter and waited for her to finish on the phone.

“Can I help you?” she clucked when she was done,

“Yeah I’m Ste, Mr Davies and Ms Marshall just left me in there to make a call, said to tell em when I were done,”

“ _Was_ ,” the woman clucked before shutting Ste out completely and picking up her phone again, gesturing to the door Ste had emerged from when he gave her a frown. He rolled his eyes and returned to the little room, wondering who would arrive sooner, his teachers or Brendan, he half hoped for a moment alone with the man but his trepidation returned as time passed.

Fortunately for his inner panic, his teachers were the first to arrive, “He’s gonna be here in a bit,” he said as they entered the room, they nodded and Ms Marshall sat with him whilst Mr Davies left the room to wait for Brendan.

“So Ste…” Ms Marshall started, giving Ste a curious look, Ste cocked his head to the side in acknowledgement, he’d been fidgeting with his backpack whilst they waited for Brendan, it had been over fifteen minutes, nearer twenty, and Brendan hadn’t shown yet so he was worrying he didn’t have anyone to back him up. “Mr Brady, your friend Declan’s father right?” she asked,

“Yeah…”

“How exactly did he _help_ you?” she asked, Ste frowned at her, because that sounded weird the way she had said it.

“What do you mean?” he asked nervously, wondering if she suspected something untoward, like his _relationship_ with Brendan, former relationship, whatever. She opened her mouth to speak but the door clicked open and Mr Davies stepped in, holding the door open so that Brendan could enter, he looked tired, but the first thing he did was look Ste over, clearly inspecting him for damage, he rested a hand on Ste’s shoulder as he sat down, giving an affectionate squeeze before jerking his hand away, realising what he’d done and regretting it. It made Ste sigh a little miserably and shift in his seat, he wasn’t intending to move away from Brendan but he ended up slanted with his back in the corner of the chair and his legs stretched out across Brendan’s foot space, Brendan didn’t seem to mind, keeping his ankles locked and his knees apart, a small variation on his normal sitting position.

“So Mr Brady,” Mr Davies started,

“Brendan, please,” Brendan interjected, “Mr Brady’s my father,” he added with a forced smile and Ste let out a weird noise as he sighed, not comfortable with the reference to the dying man.

“ _Brendan_ ,” he tried again, “We have reason to believe that Stev… Ste here has plagiarised his essays, the jump in—“

“Plagiarism? Are you jokin’ me?” Brendan scoffed, he looked like he was barely containing his anger,

“I’ve seen Ste’s work before,” Ms Marshall input, “The level he was working at,”

“You have? _Really?_ Well riddle me this then, how come my _19 year old employee_ walked into my office, glanced at these,” he pulled Ste’s original essays from the bag he’d brought with him, the red pen he’d added to it made it look a mess, “and said how _good_ it was of me to help a dyslexic kid with their school work, and your lot have been readin’ his work for _years_ and not one of you fuckin’ idiots pegged onto the fact that he has a problem?!” his voice rose as he continued and Ste shrank into his seat at the display of anger,

“Mr Brady _please_ calm down,” Mr Davies urged,

“No, I won’t calm down, this is _disgustin’_! I thought he was exaggeratin’ when he told me you lot had written him off as some kind of eejit, what the hell would you do that for?” his hands were tight fists and he was sat forward staring Mr Davies down,

“Ste has always been… _troubled_ …” he said slowly,

“Right, so he acts up in class an’ you think he must be thick? A lost cause? Christ did you even _talk_ to his parents? See what they’re like?” he’d stood and Mr Davies stood with him, not expecting to be physically intimidated by Brendan, Ste’s nerves had shot through the roof, terrified that the abuse he’d gone through would be thrown into the open when things were _finally_ starting to feel _normal_ at home.

“Bren stop,” he pleaded, knowing that Brendan would see the tears in his eyes and hoping that would reign the man in, Brendan visibly shrank and forced himself back into the chair, stiff and wound tight like an animal warning that he could attack at any moment if pushed,

“He’s dyslexic,” he gritted out, staring darkly at the two teachers, daring them to challenge him,

“We’ll arrange for an assessment,” Mr Davies said slowly, sneering like he wasn’t happy that Ste wasn’t a delinquent,

“I already have,” he flashed a scrap of paper at them, in blue pen there was a time, date, and address, “I chased it up on the way here, s’why it took me a bit longer to get here,” Ste watched as Mr Davies grew even more irate,

“Mr Brady you can’t take this young man’s needs into your own hands,”

“I can and will if nobody else is doin’ it, he’s goin’ Monday if I have to take him myself,” there was no room for argument in his tone,

“It’s during school hours,” Mr Davies protested,

“This is more important, don’t you think?” Brendan gritted out, Ste was worried he was going to punch the man,

“I understand you might feel that but if you leave it in our hands…”

“Nothin’ will get done, I’ve been to school, I know what you people are like, you don’t give a shit about the kids here, just linin’ your own pockets by erasing as many underachievers as you can, pretend like they don’t exist cause only the blatantly smart kids get your attention, you fuckin’ self-absorbed cunts,” he spat, “I’m not leavin’ any of this to you, Steven is _so_ much smarter than you give him credit for, you lot ought to be fuckin’ ashamed of yourselves,” he stood then and Mr Davies stood and straightened his blazer out, like he hadn’t just been written off as a complete moron by Brendan, offering a hand to Brendan as if he expected Brendan to give him that courtesy, “Come on Steven, we’re goin’ home… I… I’ll drive you home…”

“School ain’t finished,” Ste pointed out but Brendan clearly didn’t care,

“There’s no point you bein’ here if you’re not gettin’ the support you need,” he stated dryly, dismissing Mr Davies’ hand and giving Ms Marshall a scathing look, like he expected better from her.

 

Ste followed him out, watching as Ms Marshall collected up the proofread essays sheepishly, he felt a bit bad that Brendan had gotten so angry with them but at the same time it made his heart feel like it was soaring, Brendan got _angry_ _for him_ , which meant in Ste’s mind that he _did_ care. He ended up sat in Brendan’s car trying not to grin to himself, all fear of Brendan that his nightmare had caused was washing away like nothing, because Brendan had been there for him where others wouldn’t have been. He rubbed at his throat at the thought of the dream, the discomfort he felt was gone quickly but Brendan had looked over and caught it,

“Steven… What… what happened… what I did to you…” Ste was about to interrupt, to tell Brendan that he didn’t do _anything_ to him, that their time together was consensual, “when I hit you…” that stopped him, “You… that… you didn’t deserve that… you didn’t deserve anything your step-dad gave you either, you can’t blame yourself… I have no excuse for why I hit you, my reasons are flimsy and not enough to _ever_ warrant what I did… It was wrong and I’m ashamed of myself, I was scared of bein’ like my father and in order to stop myself being like that I just took a quicker route to it…” Ste wanted to cry, he didn’t understand why Brendan was bringing this up.

“Bren why are you…” he tried to speak but the words stuck in his throat, Brendan understood though, pulling his phone from his pocket as he drove, barely looking at it as he flicked through to what he wanted, like he’d done it a hundred times and knew where it was off by heart. He held his phone out to Ste and he felt his stomach drop, taking the phone and looking down at the text on the screen, half the screen was different iterations of _‘hurry up I’m outside’_ from Brendan, but the last thing on the screen was a grey bubble from _Ste_.

_‘u cant jst xpect me 2 drop everythin n jump cos u sed so ryt. Tht’s bullshit, I’m not doin ANYTHIN 4 u until u tell me WHY u hit me. Y hit ME? Wot did I do 2 diserve this? 1 st my stepdad n now u 2, gimme a fuckin brake’_

He felt _awful_ reading that back, he’d never meant to send it and he didn’t _remember_ sending it, he’d only looked for ‘are you okay?’ when he’d checked his phone that morning, could he have sent _that_ instead?

“When… when did you get this?” he asked nervously,

“Last week…” Brendan answered quickly,

“…before you went to Ireland?” he asked, seeing Brendan nod and feeling awful, “I never meant to send this right… it must’ve sent when I got more credit,” he explained though he wasn’t sure how much that would help, “You didn’t… you didn’t go to Ireland because of m… of this… did you?” he asked,

“I went to Ireland because my dad is dyin’ an’ my sister wanted me to see him,” Brendan said dryly, it felt rehearsed and Ste wasn’t sure he believed him, but he didn’t get to question it, they’d pulled up outside Ste’s house.

“Do uh… do you wanna come in?” Ste asked nervously, Terry’s car was gone and his mum was supposed to be out at her parents’ house today, he didn’t know what he’d hope to achieve by inviting Brendan into his home. Brendan looked at the council house with a mixed expression and Ste could see the disgust there, saddened by Brendan’s judgement of the house he grew up in, even if he wasn’t that fond of the place himself, that look made him feel like he was scum in Brendan’s eyes,

“No… not knowin’ what’s happened in there…” he said lowly, and Ste sort of understood, Brendan didn’t want to linger in the place Ste had been hurt most.

“Okay… thanks for everythin’, with my teachers… and the lift…” he said as he got out of the car, leaning in, placing Brendan’s phone on the car seat and looking at him, he had turned his gaze forward and kept it there,

“You’re welcome Steven…” Brendan sighed,

“See you around?”

“Probably… you go to school with my son…” Brendan pointed out, waiting in silence for Ste to close the door so he could leave.

 

Ste stepped back and watched Brendan go, shoulders slumped in his disappointment, he realised he’d expected _something_ from Brendan, maybe even just a little kiss or something, not _much_ , just acknowledgement that he felt something for him, that they could repair things. He heaved a sigh and sulked as he let himself into the house, stopping to make a quick sandwich, taking it upstairs and to his room, school wouldn’t be over for a couple of hours, but Declan and Amy would probably get worried about him, so he pulled his phone out and thumbed a quick _‘got sent home by Davies am ok –S x’_ to the pair of them.

He wasn’t sure what to do once his sandwich was gone, he didn’t have homework, he didn’t have his xbox, he didn’t have _anything_ to do, not even a book to read, he’d left it all at Brendan’s, only taking his clothes so he had something to wear. He deeply regretted leaving so much of his stuff, idly wondering if Brendan had ever considered getting angry and trashing his things, it was something Ste felt like he himself would do, knowing how his anger had a habit of flaring up quite violently, he doubted Brendan would do that though, Declan would have told him, because Brendan had left for Ireland after dropping his son off at school. Ste ended up fiddling with his phone, mind getting away from him, honing in on his concern for Brendan, seeing him had brought up all kinds of feelings in Ste and he was almost annoyed at himself at how little of that was _anger_. He ended up lying on his bed, looking at his text conversation with Brendan on his phone, it was mostly one sided since Ste never had credit, which was a shame, because he and Brendan could have had a nice _normal_ texting relationship, asking each other how they were, distracting Brendan at work or Ste at school, it would’ve been _really_ nice.

He knew things weren’t resolved between them, but it didn’t stop him from thumbing in a text to the other man, _‘I wer worried abt u b-in in irland, -S xx’_ but he deleted the kisses before hitting send, hoping Brendan wouldn’t react badly to the text. He didn’t get a response straight away so he wrote it off as a failed interaction, lying back and tucking his hands behind his head, figuring if nothing happened he could just sleep or something.

He was awoken from his nap by his phone ringing, it startled him but the first thing he thought was that Brendan was calling him, which got his chest warming and his skin prickling with excitement, leaving him disappointed when he saw a picture of himself and Declan on the screen, Declan’s name emblazoned across their chests where it was showing who was calling.

“Dec?” he yawned as he answered,

“Ste open the door mate,” Declan said irritably before hanging up, leaving Ste to groggily haul himself off of the bed and downstairs after shoving his phone into his back pocket, it was past four and his mum still wasn’t home, but he wasn’t exactly worried about his friends getting kicked out, not with how his parents had been with him since he got home.

“Hiya,” he greeted as he opened the door, rubbing his eyes and giving a tired smile when Amy and Declan eased into the house,

“ _They_ home?” Declan asked bitterly,

“Nah… just me,” he got twin frowns at that,

“They don’t know you were sent home? Didn’t Mr Davies call someone?” Amy asked, Ste realised she had a point, Mr Davies would have called his parents to get them to pick him up if he’d sent Ste home.

“Uh… One sec,” he glanced out the front door nervously before closing it, “Can we go upstairs?” he gestured and Declan didn’t question it, taking the steps two at a time whilst Amy and Ste lagged behind. Amy kept flashing him concerned looks over her shoulder as he followed her up, stopping outside the bedroom, where Declan had gone and made himself comfortable, and taking Ste’s arm,

“You seem… really happy,” she said quietly, “Is something going on?” she asked,

“I’ll tell you in a sec, go on,” he urged and she walked into his bedroom, Declan was sat on the bed, looking around with a frown,

“Room’s been done up a bit,” Declan pointed out, he didn’t seem happy with the change,

“Yeah it were like that when I got home,” he shrugged, sitting next to Declan, rolling his eyes when Amy sat on his other side, his two friends blocking him in. He pushed himself further onto the bed so his back was against the wall, feet dangling off the edge, and the others followed suit, Amy sitting like Ste, Declan turning to face Ste and crossing his legs.

 

They waited patiently for him to say something but Ste suddenly felt really self-conscious being stared at by them, “it weren’t nothin’ in the end, they thought I was plagiarising my essays, I wasn’t, end of,” he shrugged, he was going to tell them Brendan had backed him up, but he wasn’t sure it would go over well,

“So… they just believed you?” Declan frowned,

“What? I didn’t nick my essays, why wouldn’t they believe me?” he snapped,

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean that… but you know what Mr Davies is like, wanker,” he huffed the insult under his breath, obviously talking about Mr Davies.

“Yeah… well no…” he admitted, cheeks colouring, “I called your dad…” he felt his cheeks burning with embarrassment, hoping to hell Declan didn’t think he was trying something funny,

“You called my da? What happened? How was he with you?”

“Was he… did he apologise?” Amy interjected, eager to hear things had improved, but Ste didn’t have much to offer.

“He told em I’d written it all meself, he’s booked me in to see a specialist about my dyslexia…” he hadn’t really talked to Amy about it but her lack of surprise said that Declan probably had,

“Well that’s really good, was that it?” Amy asked, Ste couldn’t tell them about what Brendan had said in the car, neither of them knew that Brendan had hit him, and even if they had, he wouldn’t have felt right telling them about it.

“Yeah…” he said slowly, getting a quizzical look from Declan but Amy seemed to believe him, the three of them soon falling into a comfortable line of conversation, interrupted when Ste realised he probably had a way to entertain them, “Hey we’ve got Sky now, wanna go put a movie on or somethin’? Terry said he’s got the full package,” he elaborated, the others seemed pretty eager so they made their way downstairs, Ste lagging behind to change out of his school uniform. His phone chirped when he was pulling on a pair of jogging bottoms, one of the pairs he’d kept of Brendan’s, pulling his phone from the pocket of his school trousers and looking at it.

 _‘Thanks – BB_ ’ then shortly after _‘Was worried about you too, being back in that prick’s house, he treat you right? –BB’_ he smiled at that and sent a message back that Terry had listened to Brendan’s warning and was treating him like an actual son for once. He silenced his phone and tucked it into his trouser pocket, pulling on an old football shirt and heading downstairs to see his friends, they were camped out on the couch with a space at the end for Ste, who was just glad nobody had come home yet.

Declan had already figured out the difference between Sky and Virgin Media and was browsing the movie lists happily, whilst Amy sat with her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms around them, resting her cheek on her arm. Ste slotted in beside her, leaning closer to the arm of the chair as his phone vibrated,

 _‘You shouldn’t have left –B’_ Ste frowned and quickly texted back,

 _‘U shud of stopped me then –S’_ he glanced at Amy and Declan and neither of them had noticed him texting, Amy piped up every so often to point out a film she liked and Declan expressed his dismay at her choices. Ste didn’t offer an opinion, instead getting up and heading to a pouf that was shoved in the corner, opening the cushioned footstool up and pulling out a couple of blankets, it wasn’t cold but it would be more comfortable. He returned and threw the blankets at his friends before getting comfortable and bundling up in the corner of the seat again, hoping they wouldn’t notice his continued texting as his phone gave a little buzz in his pocket.

_‘You’re right, I regret letting you go, but I didn’t want Declan to hate me –B’_

_‘Dec dont h8 u 4 tht –S’_ he sent back quickly,

 _‘Have you seen him? How is he taking it? He’s okay with you? –B’_ it kind of hurt to read that Brendan was worried about how Declan was treating Ste, mostly because it meant he really _hadn’t_ tried to talk to Declan since he’d left him at the school that Friday.

 _‘Hes wiv me n amy rn. B-in rly suportive n stuff hes a gud m8. Mad abt u letting me go tho –S’_ he glanced at his friends, seeing them engrossed in whatever was on, figuring he should probably check to see what it was, it looked like they’d found Cabin in the Woods, he’d seen that in the cinema with Amy and enjoyed it.

 _‘That the only reason he’s mad? Not that we were close? –B’_ He almost laughed at that loose description of what they were but he held it in,

 _‘close? No hes mad tht I sed ilu n u told im I aint shit 2 u –S’_ he had twisted his mouth to the side as he typed, trying not to look bitter in case anyone looked over,

 _‘ilu?’_ was the only response he got and without thinking Ste thumbed _‘I love you’_ and hit send, thinking nothing of it until he got a _‘;)’_ back,

 _‘oi fuck off ihu :C’_ he sent with a smirk,

 _‘Charming as always Steven,’_ came quickly, Ste hated the little shiver that caught him just from seeing Brendan had _typed_ his full name, let alone say it,

_‘Im well charmin me how elsd I pull u?’_

_‘Pulled me aye? That’s what you think happened?’_

_‘o steven I cant stop thinkin bout u let me jack u off at skool coz ur irresistible’_ he sent, mocking Brendan, _‘tht sound abt right???’_

_‘Spot on, not much has changed’_

_‘o ye? Wot u want? ;)’_

_‘You, of course’_

“What’re you smirking about?” Amy asked, and Ste realised then that his friends were staring at him,

“Nothin’ just… found out how to get facebook on my phone… funny meme…” he lied, though he knew he shouldn’t have,

“He’s textin’ my da isn’t he?” Declan sighed, rolling his eyes when Ste tried to object and pulling his phone out to quickly write something out. Ste frowned at him, watching and waiting for something to happen, as the film was paused; his phone buzzed a moment later and it took a second to load the picture Brendan had sent, a screenshot of his text conversation with Declan, where the latest text was _‘oi pack it in we’re tryin 2 watch a film’_ , a text came through just after,

 _‘Are you talking about me or is thinking about how I want you naked and begging making you squirm? ;)’_ and Ste’s cheeks were aflame with his embarrassment as he read it, tilting his phone away from potentially prying eyes,

“Oh god what did he do?” Declan groaned,

“Nothin’! He just… sent a copy of your message is all…” Ste admitted, “Are you… okay with me textin’ him?” Ste asked after a moment, worried that this would somehow make Declan really uncomfortable.

“I’m not gonna question what makes you happy,” Declan shrugged, and Ste frowned, “Don’t act like you din’t know you were grinnin’ like a fucking dope,’ he scoffed, earning a laugh from Amy, Ste had to laugh too, though Declan’s expression sobered and he levelled Ste with a serious look, “He apologised right?”

“Not exactly…” Ste shrugged, “He said he regrets not stopping me,” he mumbled, he wanted a proper apology but he wasn’t going to turn down Brendan’s affections, he figured he could just demand one face to face.

“Close enough for now,” Declan scowled, “now stop dickin’ about an’ watch the film,” he huffed, and Ste agreed to do just that, only he kept getting texts from Brendan, trying to ignore them as best he could, but not before sending a quick _‘omg more please’_ and shoving his phone in his pocket.

 

He didn’t _mean_ to usher Amy and Declan out of the house as quickly as he had, but the film ended and he was worried Terry or his mum would be home soon, and as good as things were getting, he’d worked himself up to feeling unsure if he was even _allowed_ to have friends over, so he didn’t want to risk it. He also didn’t want Declan trying to give anyone a piece of his mind, since if there were repercussions _Ste_ would be the one getting the brunt of them, so he said his goodbyes and locked the door, startling when the phone rang in the hallway.

“Hiya,” he answered as he picked it up,

“Ste, it’s Terry, I’m stayin’ out with the lads, won’t be home til late, your mam’s stoppin’ with your nan tonight,”

“Oh, okay, have fun,” Ste said awkwardly,

“Behave yourself and have a sarny or somethin’ for your tea, don’t want you burning the house down,” he jabbed, but Ste honestly thought he was the most competent cook who lived here, deciding to ignore the prod in favour of getting Terry off the phone so he could go to his room.

“Shall do,” he mumbled, “That all?”

“Yep,” Terry hung up without so much as a goodbye but Ste didn’t care, pulling his phone from his pocket at long last and running upstairs with it, shutting himself in his room before he looked at the screen.

 _‘Been told to lay off, tell me when you’re alone and we’ll see’_ was the last text he got, so he thumbed in _‘theyre gone x’_ and waited, hopping onto his bed and getting comfortable, grinning like an idiot when his phone vibrated in his palm. _‘That so?’_ he was disappointed but he guessed he’d need to prompt it out of Brendan, play their little game where he ‘tricked’ Ste into making the first move,

 _‘Yeh all on me tod lyin on me bed waitin 4 u 2 tell me how u want 2 av ur wicked way w/ me ;)’_ he sent it with a smirk, knowing that his being on his bed would at least get _something_ out of Brendan.

 _‘All alone in bed are we Steven? Great minds think alike’_ Ste bit his lip at the thought of Brendan lying back waiting for him to text, wondering if he’d gotten bored and started without him, or if he was still wearing the grey suit, black shirt combo he’d been in when he’d shown up at the school.

 _‘Bren please’_ he texted impatiently, he was getting excited just thinking about what Brendan could possibly have in store for him, absently running his hand along his chest, making sure to drag his fingernails over his fabric hidden nipples.

 _‘Please what Steven?’_ it sounded innocent enough but it was torture for Ste,

 _‘Tell me wot u wanna do 2 me, please x’_ he was fidgeting as he waited for Brendan to respond, pulling at the crotch of his pants as he realised he was getting hard from the anticipation alone.

 _‘Patience Steven, we’re just getting to know each other again,’_ Ste would’ve punched him if they were together when he’d said that,

 _‘please Bren tell me’_ he typed, he was touching his chest again, pushing his t-shirt up to trace his fingers over his bare skin,

_‘Getting desperate are we?’_

_‘Horny more like >:C PLEASE’ _he _was_ a little desperate, he’d started stroking his hand down his stomach, pushing his fingers just past his waistband, but he didn’t want to touch himself without Brendan telling him what to fantasise about,

_‘That’s what I like to hear, horny, desperate, ready to do whatever I ask’_

_‘SO ready’_ he got a little nervous before quickly adding _‘wish u were here thisd b well hot’_

 _‘You saying I can’t make you hot with texts Steven? That I can’t drive you crazy with the thought of me kissing my way down your neck? Bringing back that little bruise I know you’re so fond of touching on your collar bone’_ Ste scrunched his nose up after reading that, realising he was touching the place Brendan loved marking, _‘do you miss it Steven? My marks on your skin?’_

_‘Yeah I miss the tash 2’_

_‘Like the burn do you?’_ Ste was torn, he wanted to get this into full on sext territory, but it was such an awkward thing, and he didn’t _really_ know how to respond to anything, he wanted to tell Brendan how much he missed fucking his mouth, the way his moustache felt when it ghosted across his cock as Brendan sank lower and withdrew leaving him wet with spit,

 _‘Specially when u blow me ;)’_ he sent, hoping to speed things up because his prick was upright and the front of his (“formerly” Brendan’s) grey jogging bottoms were turning dark with his precum,

 _‘Steady on Steven, we’re just getting started’_ Ste wanted to force his hand, show him how desperate he was to touch himself, so with some trepidation, he rested his phone on his stomach and set about easing his jogging bottoms and boxers down past his achingly hard cock, trying to work on the perfect presentation of himself. It was strange to be getting his dick out like this and making it look aesthetically pleasing, but it was the first time he’d ever considered doing this and he didn’t want it to be too weird, so he eased his hand around his dick, picking his phone up with the other and hitting the button on the side to bring up the camera and snapped a couple of photos. His deciding which photo looked the best was interrupted with a concerned _‘Steven?’_ but he soon settled on one with the flash, because he liked the way the beaded precum at the tip looked, sending it to Brendan and setting his phone aside.

 

He stroked his cock idly as he waited nervously for Brendan’s response, slicking that little pearl of cum down his shaft and toying with his foreskin, letting his eyes close as he imagined it was Brendan’s hand on him. His phone vibrated on his side table and he gave himself a quick squeeze before releasing his prick and picking up his phone, sliding it unlocked and gaping at the return picture Brendan had sent him. He’d thought his photo had looked as good as a dick pic could get but he was wrong; he could tell Brendan was mostly dressed, his shirt was open _at least_ enough that his stomach was exposed, his dark grey suit pants were pushed open and his boxers were visible, bunched just below his hard prick and heavy balls. Instead of wrapping a tight fist around his cock like Ste had, his fingers were lightly touching it, like they were in the middle of running up the vein on the underside, his thumb pressed just below the head. A message popped up beneath the picture and Ste almost ignored it, confused when he checked it,

 _‘Memorise it and put your phone on silent, you’ve got 30 seconds’_ he frowned but did as he was told, the phone was already on silent so he just took in everything in the photo, the way Brendan’s stomach was tensed, the dark trail of hair that led to the base of his cock, the way his prick curved ever so slightly to the side. His fond admiration was wiped away when the screen went black aside from a default silhouette icon and “BB Calling…” flashed on the screen, he panicked a little and almost hung up, but answered it and didn’t say a word. Brendan didn’t speak either, the two just breathing a little quicker and heavier than normal, at least until Brendan uttered a rough

“ _Steven_ ,” and Ste let out an accidental whimper of

“Oh _God_ ,”

“I prefer ‘Brendan’,” Brendan chuckled, “Tell me Steven, that hand of yours…”

“still on my dick,” Ste interrupted, quickly taking himself in hand, hoping Brendan was going to growl sexual promises at him so he could beat off to it,

“Try lower,” he rumbled, Ste let out a pathetic little noise and had to move, he’d not even thought to get his lube out, he wasn’t even sure he _had_ lube here anymore, a quick root through the drawers of his bedside table came up with nothing,

“I can’t…” he sighed, “no lube,” he was pouting as he said it, shimmying his trousers further down and lying on his back again.

“Use spit, lots of it, go slow, tell me if it’s too much,” Brendan supplied and Ste was warped back to his dream, swallowing nervously but realising that the sex in his dream was _fine_ , it was after that it had gone wrong. He’d fallen quiet for too long in Brendan’s opinion, the man prompting him to the here and now with a worried “Steven? Steven don’t worry about it, it’s not important, just touch your cock for me,” he amended but Ste wasn’t having it.

“No, no I’m… just a sec…” he whispered, stuffing two fingers into his mouth and slicking them up with his saliva, smirking around his fingers at the hissed ‘ _Jesus’_ that Brendan let out at the sounds he was making, he withdrew his fingers and sat up a little so he could spit on them without gobbing on himself. “Bet that sounds well rank,” he chuckled as he lay down and pressed his feet flat to the bed, knees bent and in the air,

“Sounds better than you think,” Brendan hummed, and instead of giving Ste the pleasure of hearing him sucking his fingers, Ste heard the sound of a cap clicking and liquid meeting fingers, “Go on, talk me through it Steven,” he urged, Ste felt embarrassed as he rubbed his own spit in circles around his asshole, his skin prickling with heat,

“I’m just… you know…” he was shy all of a sudden and he felt so dumb,

“ _Steven_ ,” Brendan growled,

“You know… just… ah…” this was ridiculous, he’d ridden Brendan’s dick, sucked him off in a car, been _rimmed in the shower_ , he could have phone sex, phone sex was nothing to that stuff. “God just… pushing my finger tip in sometimes… feels good…” he applied a bit more pressure and pushed in further, “Just one finger in me…” he let out a soft moan as his finger sank deep into his tight hole, “Fucking me…” he managed to remember to talk after a few thrusts of his finger, but Brendan seemed content with his soft moans, praising him quietly and whispering ‘more, Jesus Christ…’ to encourage a second finger into him. Ste went to obey after he felt his hole relaxing, but he wanted to fist his cock too, only his phone was in his other hand; he awkwardly tried to trap the device between shoulder and head but couldn’t do it comfortably, “Shit Bren this is difficult, how’ve you got your phone?”

“Bedside…” Brendan answered easily, “hands free kit,” he added as an explanation, Ste pouting miserably that he didn’t have one, “Try puttin’ it on the pillow,” he offered, it was ruining the moment here but if Ste couldn’t get comfortable and jerk off at the same time this was never going to work. He tried what Brendan said and let out a low hum of a chuckle as he used his now free hand to fondle his balls then stroke along his upright dick, “Attaboy,” Brendan purred at him, “Now…” his low rumble coincided with Ste’s second finger pushing into his tight hole, it wasn’t as easy as it was with lube or alongside Brendan’s tongue, but it felt good still, stretching as he pushed them deeper.

“God… wish it was you…”

“Me too Steven… how does it feel?” he asked,

“Good… not as slick but… good…” he trailed off with a moan and Brendan accompanied him with a deeper tone, and Ste wondered if Brendan was jerking off, “You’re goin’ slow right?” he asked,

“Slow, barely touchin’ myself here Steven, you’re killing me…” Brendan panted, and Ste smirked to himself, starting to fuck his fingers a little quicker, letting out soft keening moans on every push, speeding up so Brendan would. He thought he could hear the wet sound of Brendan jerking off, but Brendan’s grunts and moans drowned out the possible sound of his hand on his cock, they devolved pretty quickly after that, Ste stroking his dick and fingering himself at the same pace Brendan had set, moaning and begging Brendan to fuck him harder, faster, Brendan uttering curses between feral sounds of pleasure that would sound so much better hot against the back of Ste’s neck.

 

It was amazing, not as good as fucking, but there was something about closing his eyes and listening to Brendan hiss dirty little undertones in his ear that turned him on _so_ much and had him playing with the precum at the tip of his cock. He moved sticky fingers to his chest and pinched and rubbed his nipples pretending it was Brendan’s mouth on him and his cock fucking shallow thrusts into him, shallow because Ste’s fingers could never match the depth that Brendan’s cock could push into him. He gave a little chuckle at the mental image he got about longer fingers but Brendan didn’t question it, which he was thankful for,

“God Steven I’m so close…” Brendan’s voice was rough with lust and he was getting breathless as he jacked off, there were periods of ‘silence’ where all Ste could hear was the slick-slick of Brendan’s hand on his cock as he let out long slow breaths to hold out longer.

“Fuck me Bren please,” Ste whimpered, eyes scrunched closed as he took himself in hand again and rolled his hips, fucking his hand as he drove his fingers in deep and tried to find that sweet spot that sent him into what felt like orgasmic shock. He half wanted to get on his knees and push his ass into the air, but he didn’t want to miss a single sound Brendan made as he told Ste how tight he was, like they were actually together and Brendan was fucking him. “God… fuck…” he hissed through his teeth, turning his head to the other side and letting out a moan as his asshole clenched around his fingers, “Brendan…” he panted, turning back so his ear was on his phone again, a few panted ‘ah’s were all the warning he could give before he pushed his hips up off the bed and came, body tensing and muscles flexing, the tightness around his fingers almost hurt but he curled them and let out a cry of Brendan’s name. His fingers slipped free of his asshole and he released his prick, streaking cum across his stomach and chest, quickly clamping his sticky hand over his mouth as it dawned on him that he’d been quite loud. He was gasping breathlessly behind his hand when Brendan came, Ste’s name felt like a curse as it left Brendan’s lips and as he listened to Brendan breathe he pried his fingers from covering his mouth, leaving a sticky print on his skin. He let casual curiosity get the better of him and trailed his fingers through the cum on his stomach, licking and sucking it off, smirking around a finger when he heard Brendan’s soft moan of approval,

“Steven…” Brendan hummed as they both slipped into the lazy post-orgasmic haze, “What’re you doin’ tomorrow?” Ste had to take a moment to get his brain functioning again, letting out soft, breathless moans and slipping his fingers from his mouth, reaching down to lazily stroke his softening, sensitive prick,

“Uh… School… I have school…” he sighed,

“Nah… don’t bother… I’ll pick you up…”

“From school?” Ste asked dumbly,

“No… outside your neighbourhood, I need to see you… after that? Jesus… _need_ you,” Brendan hummed, blissed out and sleepy sounding.

“Now?” Ste didn’t _mean_ to be stupid right then, but he was pretty sure his brain was spattered across his exposed skin, not his jizz,

“Fuck no, tomorrow you eejit,” Brendan laughed, “Shit I’ve got to get to the club… fuck… I’ll see you tomorrow Steven, 8am sharp, Church Street,” he ordered before hanging up.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of a note to say that unfortunately due to me bringing home my new puppy Grif I won't have as much time to write. I will do my best to write whenever he's snoozing etc, but I cannot guarantee that I will have another chapter ready each Saturday/Sunday. I hope you can understand this and thank you for following me and this story for this long.
> 
> I am also doing a Stendan Secret Santa thing so hopefully just after Christmas I'll have that to post on here as well, just to tide you over between DILF chapters. Thank you again and have a fantastic Holiday season, -Noph

Ste had jumped up and made himself presentable before slinking off for a shower once Brendan had hung up, stomach aflutter with nerves and excitement at getting to see Brendan again and to rekindle what he’d singlehandedly ruined when Declan had found them together. Ste couldn’t help but jerk off under the spray as his mind woke itself up from its stupor and went wild with thoughts of what Brendan would do to him tomorrow, creaming the tile wall in record speed and washing it away soon after. He was mellow and loose limbed as he changed into his clean boxers and pyjama pants, deciding to shove his clothes in the wash straight away even though he’d wiped any errant semen off of the fabric when he’d noticed it. Terry was downstairs making himself a bacon sandwich when Ste stepped into the kitchen with his arms full of clothes,

“Terry,” he greeted stiffly as he tried to act normal and shoved his things in the washing machine, internally panicking as to how long Terry had been home, “How long you been back?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound suspicious,

“Ah hey mate,” Terry cast over his shoulder, “Not long, I shouted up but you were in the shower,” he supplied, that was a relief, “you want one?” Ste was about to decline but his stomach gave an aggressive gurgle, he hadn’t actually eaten since he’d come home from school before lunch time and it was now a little after nine, “Take that as a yes, get some more bread for us, you can have the first lot otherwise mine’d go cold,” he offered. Ste felt eyes on him as he went to retrieve the bread from the cupboard, glancing over at Terry to see him watching through the corner of his eye, he wasn’t sure if Terry was just looking over or watching him with some level of scrutiny, but he couldn’t bring himself to dwell on it.

“Thanks Terry,” Ste said sheepishly, placing the bagged loaf on the side and waiting awkwardly for Terry to pile up bacon on the pieces already laid out, he thoroughly stuffed the sandwich and grunted something about it being done, so Ste piled on the ketchup and closed his sandwiches, grabbing two plates and piling his food on one, leaving Terry to finish cooking for himself.

Ste scarfed his food down as quickly as he could manage, he was nervous and felt like Terry could somehow _see_ into his mind and knew he’d been masturbating over the thought of another man fucking him.

“You don’t have to rush off on my account Ste,” Terry objected when Ste went to head off upstairs,

“I’m a bit tired,” he excused as he poked through the living room door, “I’ve got school tomorrow,” he lied, he was planning on playing hooky with Brendan, but Terry didn’t need to know that,

“How _was_ school today anyway?” Terry asked, and Ste felt his nerves flare up, recalling how Terry had a habit of asking him these things before lashing out at him.

“Uh… was alright… I uh… I got a B on one of my essays,” he admitted nervously, he worried if he should tell the truth, but Terry took a bite of his sandwich and nodded eagerly,

“That’s really good,” he said behind a hand,

“Yeah so… I’m gonna head off…” he gestured upstairs and Terry gave him a dismissive gesture and a muffled ‘night’, letting Ste escape the awkwardness their interaction had been steeped in.

 

He couldn’t sleep, too excited about the morning ahead of him, he ended up getting up and finding some clothes to put in his backpack, he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave the house in plain clothes, Terry would know he was wagging off of school, which he was a dab hand at, at this point. After that he just lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of Brendan, drumming his fingers on the duvet covering him and wishing time would fly by so he could get up and meet Brendan; he started to wonder if Brendan was awake, remembering he was at work and rolling onto his side, grabbing his phone and grinning to himself as he thumbed _‘cant sleep’_ into their text conversation, hoping Brendan would respond. He wasn’t disappointed, his phone buzzed and a new message popped up under his,

 _‘You might want to fix that, you’ll need your energy tomorrow’_ he smirked at that,

 _‘y? wot we gonna do?’_ he sent curiously, hoping Brendan would get the hint and find a moment for himself,

 _‘you pack that in, I’m at work’_ it was a warning  but Ste figured it was playful,

_‘at work w. tht desk u told me bout?’_

_‘Behave yourself Steven.’_ Ste pouted then, obviously being shut down for anything flirtatious,

 _‘aw ok, get 2 liv it soon NEway cant w8 ;)’_ he sent, _‘hows work?’_

 _‘Boring, students everywhere. Kill me’_ Ste had a giggle at that,

 _‘if this skool thing wks out Im gonna b 1 o them soon’_ he teased, wondering what Brendan would think of him maybe considering college,

 _‘I’m going to bar you then’_ that made him frown, that wasn’t very fair at all,

_‘Wot y???’_

_‘I have a reputation to uphold, fucking the clientele, particularly the clientele I explicitly despise, would not do that any favours, though if you DO persist in sneaking in you’ll be brought to the office for a word_ ’ Ste felt his cheeks warm at the thought of what sort of punishment he’d get for sneaking into the bar, it was a ways off because he was still only sixteen, but it didn’t stop his mind wondering and his dick stirring beneath the sheets.

_‘Fort u sed no 2 sexting’_

_‘I did. Goodnight Steven ;)’_ Ste frowned then, sending back a slew of question marks but getting nothing in response, so he repeated the message a few times to be both annoying and to try to get an answer, but Brendan had some serious resolve, ignoring his texts and letting him stew, so he sent Brendan one last text before rolling over and trying to sleep,

 _‘Wanker._ ’

 

He felt like he’d been asleep for mere seconds when his phone piped up with his alarm at 7, he let out a miserable groan and hit snooze before rolling over, he didn’t _want_ to go to school, but his brain caught up with him being awake and reminded him that he wasn’t _going_ to school. He sat bolt upright then, throwing the covers off and climbing out of bed, rushing to the bathroom to clean up before returning and pulling his uniform on quickly. He checked his bag to make sure he had everything he needed, checking it again after just because he was getting fidgety, before heading downstairs and popping some bread in the toaster.

“Morning Terry,” he greeted his step-dad, who was sat at the dining table eating cereal and looking at the races in the paper, he didn’t look happy, grunting a response, “We got any Nutella?” he asked after a moment, looking in the cupboards as he hunted it down.

“Probably…” Terry answered, poring over his paper and circling a few things, Ste settled for _not_ talking to Terry in that case, he didn’t want to upset him and end up in an argument or something, turning his attention back to the cupboards, soon finding some home brand chocolate spread and fetching a knife. He ended up getting distracted by sneaking dollops of spread from the jar and licking it off the knife, glancing over his shoulder every so often to see Terry still engrossed in his paper, not that it mattered, Ste was the only one who _ate_ the spread.

He was gorging himself on another knife full when he remembered what he’d actually gotten the spread out _for_ , letting out a slew of curses as he popped his toast and the one side of each slice was burnt; this toaster was _such_ a piece of shit, always had been, how could he even forget? He realised that it was because he’d not had toast since he’d been at Brendan’s, where there was a fully functional toaster, one that _didn’t_ alternate between cremating bread and giving it a warm cuddle. Terry ignored his swearing for the most part, though he _did_ laugh at Ste’s minor suffering, though Ste supposed anyone would do that, he smeared the spread thickly on the burnt side of each slice in a feeble attempt to mask the foul taste, and held one with his mouth whilst he pulled his backpack on, grabbing the other slice and grumbling a ‘see ya’ to Terry as he fled the house. He was going to be early meeting Brendan, but he didn’t really mind, he was too excited to be able to sit still around Terry again, especially with the cause of his excitement so close at hand, so he made his way to Church Street and sat on the wall outside the old church, kicking his feet and eating his toast as he waited.

 

At 8 on the dot, Brendan’s sleek black car pulled up next to him and Brendan leant over to open the door,

“Get in,” he gestured with a nod before sitting back and waiting for Ste to hop into the car, lingering there for a moment, “Well if I didn’t look like a paedophile before, the uniform isn’t helping,” he drawled sarcastically as Ste leant across the gap between them, “I’m not kissing you like that,”

“I’ve got a change of clothes in me bag, I couldn’t let Terry know I was waggin’ it, could I?” Ste huffed,

“Suppose not,” Brendan grunted, he was eyeing Ste up something vicious,

“Besides, you _love_ me uniform,” Ste smirked, sitting back and spreading his legs a little, running his hands up and down his thighs in what he felt was a suggestive manner,

“Like you better out of it… Christ I feel like I’ve just picked up a hooker, we should get out of here before God judges me,” he drew the sign of the cross and kissed his silver necklace, letting it drop against his chest after,

“God’ll judge you everywhere, not just in front of church,” Ste pointed out seriously, earning a blank stare from Brendan, “not that he’ll judge this?” he added uncertainly, not really sure what he’d said wrong, if he’d even said something wrong. They pulled away from the church and drove in a comfortable silence, but Ste’s leg was going a mile a minute, knee bouncing as he stared out the window, frowning when he realised they were getting _closer_ to the city, rather than further from it. “Bren? Where are we going?” he thought they’d be going to Brendan’s home, spending the day in bed together and getting reacquainted with each other physically,

“Been a bit of a change of plans, I’m needed at the club,” Brendan sighed,

“Oh…” that was disappointing, “Why?”

“Some eejit tried to bottle one of my boys at close last night, ended up winging a bottle of ale at my displays behind the bar, shattered the whole fucking thing,” he muttered, that was even worse, Brendan would be genuinely busy, it wouldn’t be a case of Ste trying to seduce Brendan into forgetting about the accounts for a little while like he’d done at the house.

“That’s wank,” Ste sighed,

“I know, I was hopin’ for an easy day, but we’ve got people in and out all day… I’m sure we’ll find a minute though,” he promised, reaching over to give Ste’s leg a gentle squeeze, “besides, there’s someone I want you to meet, though I’m questioning my sanity on _wanting_ you to meet her…” he added, Ste frowned then, not sure who Brendan would want him to meet that could possibly show up at his place of work.

 

Brendan pulled his car into the lot behind the club, the walls were high and there were a few security cameras, which explained why Brendan was happy leaving his car out here during the night, given how expensive the vehicle was, there was only one other car there, but Ste didn’t pay it much mind. He climbed out, following Brendan up a flight of wrought iron stairs and onto a balcony, Brendan pulled the heavy looking door open with ease and held it, waiting for Ste to enter, so he did, eyes wide as he looked around the room.

He’d never been to a club before, at least not a night club, there were youth clubs around that he’d been to when he was younger, where he and Amy would play on a PS1 and eat sweets for hours until they had to go home. This place was completely different, the walls were light in colour with art hanging on them, and the fixtures and beams were black, though there were bright green accents on most of them, all lit up with spotlights hanging from metal brackets in the ceiling. The place was _huge_ too, and a look over the nearby bannister said the downstairs was even bigger, a bar stretched across the length of the upstairs room, and behind it there _should_ have been mirrored wall and partially glass shelving, but most of it had been shattered, leaving a partially intact wooden display with jagged edges and tape marking it as a no-go zone, at least the shattered glass had been swept from the floor. There were little seating areas with comfortable couches and low coffee tables, it looked like it was a quieter area, but Ste couldn’t be sure, having not seen it in action at all, though some day he’d really like to.

“I’m disappointed you didn’t get to see the place at its best,” Brendan sighed, touching a hand lightly to Ste’s lower back before moving it and sidling past him instead, “go downstairs and grab yourself a J2O or something, nothing alcoholic,” he warned, “I’ve got to see a girl about a fox,” he was looking ahead and Ste followed his gaze to a pretty little woman in a fitted dress, she looked too well dressed for this time of day but she was sat on a stool at the far end of the bar flipping through a magazine.

He did as he was told, trotting down the wide set of spiral stairs and into the lower part of the bar, it was stylish and lacked the couches that upstairs had, but the bar had a line of stools and there were high tables with stools scattered about leaving a lot of room for dancing. He made his way to the bar and nipped behind it, hunting down the fridge with the bottles in and finding the J2O Brendan had mentioned, turning and trying to figure out where he could get the cap off, he knew from TV that bars could have built in bottle openers, but he couldn’t suss it.

He was so preoccupied he didn’t notice someone approach the bar, “It’s there mate,” a finger invaded his view and pointed at a notch near the pumps, he slid the bottle head in and with a hiss of compressed air the cap came off,

“Ta,” he said with a smile, standing upright and smiling at the man who’d spoken to him, the man looked to be a fraction shorter than Brendan, but he was broader in just about every way, Ste would’ve called him ‘thug-like’ if he didn’t think having teeth was a particularly important trait.

“You’re welcome, now, two things, one, how did you get in, and two, why shouldn’t I be calling the police right now?” the smile he offered Ste was cruel and had Ste swallowing nervously, looking past him in the hopes that Brendan would come and help him.

“Uh… the… I…” he felt the panic setting in and he couldn’t find the words,

“Take your time,” the man gestured as he spoke, leaning on the bar, fist pressed into his palm, knuckles slowly cracking as he applied pressure, Ste was mortified.

“Foxy! Quit terrorising the poor lad, I let him in,” Ste almost collapsed in a heap on the floor in his relief, waiting for this Foxy to turn around before sinking into a crouch and trying to calm his rapidly beating heart,

“Brendan, what’re you doing bringing school kids into my club?” Foxy asked, he seemed to be mid double take when Ste stood up again, probably having noticed the teen had vanished.  
“Your club? Remind me Mr Fox, _who_ owns this club?” Brendan asked, he seemed so different, stepping close to Foxy and turning his head to the side, offering him an ear, going so far as to point it out with a finger,

“You,” Foxy reluctantly admitted,

“Then I can bring who I want here, and it’s just the one,” he said dismissively, beckoning Ste from behind the bar,

“What is he, twelve?” Foxy asked as Ste edged closer to Brendan, Ste was surprised when Brendan rested a hand on his shoulder, not really expecting the physical contact,

“Seventeen,” Ste didn’t correct him, he knew Brendan knew his age,

“Wait… this isn’t your kid is it? He looks nothin’ like you, and I thought your ex missus was Irish too,” Foxy laughed, clearly insinuating something,

“No, this isn’t Declan… Foxy, this is Steven, Steven, Foxy,” he introduced, “Foxy is a manager here, I pay him to manage the staff primarily, what I don’t pay him for is interrogating the people I bring here outside of opening hours,” he levelled Foxy with a narrowed look then,

“Course not, sorry boss,” though he gave Ste a suspicious look, “You can call me Warren,” he offered a hand that Ste nervously took,

“Ste,” he answered, shaking Warren’s hand quickly before withdrawing and taking an apprehensive swig of his drink, figuring he was okay to drink it now.

“Right, upstairs you, office says ‘Owner’ on it, not manager,” Ste felt like if they were at Brendan’s house that would be accompanied by a bum slap, but alas that was not the case, Warren frowned at them. He made Ste nervous, so he played obedient again, heading for the stairs and glancing back at Brendan, “Go get changed, I’ll come help you in a few,” Brendan dismissed, earning a raised eyebrow from Warren, “school work,” he explained, but Ste knew it was likely to be exactly what it sounded like.

 

He tried not to grin as he jogged up the stairs and headed for the office, about to push the door open and go in when the woman who had been at the bar earlier stepped out of god only knew where and stopped him,

“You, stop,” she urged,

“I’m here with Brendan, I’m not nickin’ owt,” he protested quickly,

“Jumpy aren’t we?” she asked, “I saw you two walk in together, I know,” she dismissed, “I’m Mitzeee, three e’s, you’ve probably heard of me,” she said with a winning smile, Ste couldn’t help but smile back, he _had_ actually heard of her,

“You’re a model,” he pointed out,

“Ah so Brendan _has_ talked about me, of course he has,” she smiled,

“I’m Ste,” he introduced after a beat, he’d actually seen her in Amy’s magazines, she was one of the people Amy had shown him in her panicked moment of ‘are you sure you’re gay?’ when he’d come out to her,

“Oh?” Mitzeee looked at him for a moment before her eyebrows raised and she looked like she’d found absolute _gold_ , “Oh! You must be _Steven_ ,” she dropped her voice when she said his name and Ste’s ears felt hot as he got embarrassed, “You’re younger than Brendan made you sound…” she looked over the uniform as she said it.

“He… he talked about me?” he asked, genuinely shocked, he thought Brendan had been tight lipped about their _thing_ , he’d absolutely forbade Ste from talking about it,

“Well, sort of… We’re best friends you see, like this,” she crossed her fingers as a sign they were close, “we tell each other everything, except, apparently, the actual age of our secret lovers,” although she was talking openly about Ste and Brendan, she was sure to keep her tone down and her gaze flicking to the staircase in case Warren and Brendan came up. “Well… okay no he didn’t tell me exactly, I didn’t know your name until you two had your little tiff,” she dismissed, “AND I had to get him drunk for him to let that one slip,” she added, moving closer to Ste and lifting her hands to his face, “let me look at you,” she said as an explanation, turning him this way and that for inspection.

He felt uncomfortable with her scrutiny, but her touch was gentle and she was giving him a right soppy look as she studied him, though he had to jerk away when she lifted the front of his shirt for a peek,

“Hey!” he let out,

“Sorry,” she grinned mischievously at him, she wasn’t sorry at all. “You’re cute, little bit scrawny for my tastes, he said you were a footballer,”

“I am, I’m team captain…” he mumbled awkwardly, because he’d not been a very _good_ team captain, he was only just getting back into the sport and had missed their few matches, feeling to blame for their lack of success in the school championships,

“Aw,” she gave his cheek a little stroke before straightening up his tie, “So, how old _are_ you then?” she asked,

“S-seventeen,” he didn’t mean to stammer,

“Sixteen then,” Mitzeee corrected easily, giving him a knowing look when he went to deny it, so he just shrugged, “Well, legal but frowned upon, sounds like Brendan through and through,” she laughed,

“I need to get changed…” Ste gestured to the office then,

“Well you’ll be getting changed with company,” she said before pushing close to Ste’s ear and whispering, “Don’t forget to lock the door,” Ste felt himself blushing again and pressed his hands to his searing cheeks, turning to see Brendan had arrived upstairs and was stood watching them, hands in pockets and expression straight, but there was a hint of ‘oh for god’s sake’ in his eyes that made Ste blush harder. “Just getting to know your little friend,” Mitzeee beamed and waved him over, he rolled his eyes before sauntering over,

“This, by the way,” he gestured to Ste and Mitzeee, “terrible idea, don’t know what possessed me,” he said, voice clipped and terse as he spoke, “Now Steven, I don’t know what Ann here has said to you, but it’s all lies,” he chastised,

“Nah I’ve seen her in them magazines, she’s really a model,” Ste tried to be flippant, earning a laugh from Mitzeee,

“Oh he’s precious Bren, try to keep him this time,” Mitzeee laughed, or was it Ann? Ste wasn’t sure which to call her now, but he supposed it would be Mitzeee until he knew her better,

“I plan to, providing you can keep this shut,” Brendan bit quietly, gesturing her mouth closed, but he was smiling, playful, and it actually felt nice to see him being casually friendly with someone. Lynsey always seemed like a sister to him and the only other people Ste had seen him interact with on more than a just-met basis were Eileen and _Eoghan_ , Eoghan was a dick and Eileen hadn’t been happy with him, despite Brendan saying she wasn’t like that all the time. “Thought you were getting changed anyway,” Brendan hummed to Ste, who shrugged and gestured lamely to Mitzeee, Brendan glanced at her and a look passed between them that Ste couldn’t figure out, “Well get in there then,” he turned Ste and gave his ass a smack, making him jump and scuttle quickly into the office, turning to see Brendan kiss Mitzeee quickly on the cheek and whisper something to her, a hand resting on her hip, she smiled at him as he pulled back and his fingers slid from her side,

“Me and Warren will deal with the workers, take your time,” she offered with a wink and Ste quickly ducked further into the office when Brendan turned to head his way.

 

Brendan closed the office door after entering, but didn’t lock it, heading for the desk and sitting down behind it, Ste huffed a little at this, because Brendan seemed intent on _not_ fucking him then and there. He headed for the door anyway, levelling Brendan with a challenging stare as he turned the latch and locked it, Brendan raised an eyebrow at him before cocking his head in interest, waiting, like he was calling Ste’s bluff. Only Ste _wasn’t_ bluffing, he gave a wicked little smirk as he shrugged his bag off and tossed it on the leather couch pressed against the wall, loosening his tie and tossing that aside too before beginning to unfasten the buttons of his school shirt.

“Oh we’re playin’ at this are we?” Brendan asked, Ste didn’t answer, pouting his lips a little as his fingers trailed down his front, pushing buttons through and revealing slivers of skin, Brendan let out a low grunt of an exhale, an appreciative sound that had Ste’s hands continue lower, untucking his shirt as he began to walk around Brendan’s desk. Brendan turned his chair and watched with a smirk, thoroughly enjoying the view, Ste’s excitement was getting the better of him and he realised he was sort of dancing as he stripped. “No dancing,” Brendan ordered, glancing across the room, “and get me your tie,” he added, Ste frowned but did as he was told once he’d swayed his way out of his shirt and casually thrown it at him.

He returned with the tie in hand, giving it to Brendan and waiting, “Carry on,” Brendan urged, and Ste gave him a smile before unbuttoning his school trousers, sliding the zip down whilst keeping his gaze on Brendan, he pushed his trousers past his hips and let them pool around his ankles. He managed not to look awkward as he stepped on his own heel to push his shoes off, stepping out of them and his trousers and kicking them under the glass desk. Clad now in only his boxers and socks, he stepped forward and straddled Brendan’s lap, feeling Brendan’s legs spread beneath him to support him, all the while Brendan squeezed his crumpled tie like a stress ball, idly toying with it as he let his gaze rake over Ste’s exposed body. He kept the tie in hand as he slid his hands over Ste’s hips and round to his ass, tucking them into his boxers and squeezing, grinding Ste down against his prick to point out that he was hard.

“Fuck me,” Ste demanded as he leant in to kiss Brendan, touching his hands to his cheeks and drawing him up to meet him, it was slow and almost exploratory, a simple joining and enjoyment of one another, even though Brendan’s hands were groping him, long fingers trailing his crack and brushing teasingly over his asshole every so often. A finger gave a little push past the muscle and Ste let out a low moan that was apparently a little too loud for Brendan’s liking, as he parted their kiss and withdrew a hand from Ste’s pants, brushing Ste’s lip with the pad of his thumb, waiting for his lips to part a fraction before moving his hand to push a wad of material into Ste’s mouth. Ste went to spit it out but Brendan’s hand clamped over his mouth and he shook his head, Ste gave him a questioning look,

“You’re too loud, you’re always too loud,” he purred and Ste let out a huff around his wadded up tie, it was just fabric but it was somehow managing to make his jaw ache. Brendan slowly moved his hand from Ste’s mouth, raising his eyebrows as if to ask Ste if he was going to need to cover his mouth again, but Ste didn’t say a word, smiling around his mouthful. “Good boy,” Brendan brushed his thumb against Ste’s lips, reaching blindly for the black opaque drawer in the glass desk, opening it and fishing through it for something, all the while gently fucking Ste’s asshole with a dry finger in order to drive him crazy as he sat trying not to grind his dick down against Brendan.

 

Ste saw the lube and let out a muffled groan of arousal, straining within his boxers, it was awful, Brendan needed to get him out of his pants soon or he was gonna end up creaming them. He wanted to beg Brendan, to grind down on him whilst he took his finger deep, but he couldn’t say a word, mouth stuffed with cheap fabric.

“Off,” Brendan instructed and Ste did as he was told, moving to press his palms to the desk and present himself, Brendan wheeling his seat so he was directly behind Ste, eyeing him up and liking what he saw. “I don’t know if I should bend you over that and fuck you or have you ride me keeping those mischievous hands of yours on the desk,” Brendan sighed, like he was being made to decide between two equally boring paint colours for a wall, rather than how to fuck the teenager on display for him. Ste let out an impatient hum around his makeshift gag and bounced his feet on the ground, glancing over his shoulder watching Brendan’s eyes follow the motion of his ass, “You’re right… there’s time for both,” Ste almost creamed himself then and there, knees giving a little beneath him before he righted himself and stuck his backside out closer to Brendan, lowering himself onto his elbows on the table, showing Brendan which he’d like to do first. “Gorgeous…” Brendan let out on a breath, and Ste wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear it given how quiet it had been, but Brendan’s hands found his hips and he stood, pushing the soft fabric down to expose Ste’s ass, the elastic dragging Ste’s cock down uncomfortably, so he let out an irritated growl around his gag, didn’t know why he was humouring Brendan by keeping it in. Brendan chuckled softly, hot breath ghosting over Ste’s shoulders as Brendan looped his arms around him to ease the waistband of Ste’s boxers down past his cock, pushing them until Ste’s thighs were no longer keeping them in place, so they slid down to his ankles.

Brendan ghosted his hands over the jut of Ste’s hips and round to his ass, thumbing the cheeks apart briefly and Ste wondered if Brendan was going to eat him out, though Ste wasn’t exactly disappointed when Brendan’s hand left his ass and cold lube hit his crack and slipped down leaving a cold wet trail on his skin until Brendan’s fingers intercepted it and made a beeline for Ste’s asshole with it.

It didn’t take much for Ste to need to rest his forehead on his arms as Brendan fingered him, loving the feel of Brendan’s fingers inside him and his warm palm on his back where it had settled, he pushed back against Brendan’s hand, moaning around his gag and trying to take him deeper. Brendan slipped two fingers from him and inserted a third, twisting on the withdraw and drawing soft muffled keening noises from him, he was going to come quicker than ever if Brendan didn’t pack it in, but he couldn’t beg him to fuck him, so he pulled away, hearing Brendan’s confusion as his fingers slipped free of Ste’s slick asshole.

“Oh I see, want me to hurry up?” Brendan purred as he leant across Ste’s back, Ste could feel the cloth of Brendan’s suit pants against one of his ass cheeks, half tempted to wriggle and smear a bit of lube on the fabric, but he knew Brendan wouldn’t be pleased with that, so he stayed still and let out a pathetic little whimper, hoping Brendan would understand. “Want me to fuck you?” he nodded against his forearm and Brendan chuckled warm against his neck before standing upright, Ste could barely hear over his thumping heart and rapid breathing, but he noticed the hiss of a zipper and groaned when the head of Brendan’s cock rubbed against his asshole.

 

Ste pushed back and felt Brendan’s cock inch into him, it felt _so_ much better than fingers, stretching him more than slick digits could even when it was barely inside, he let out a low, guttural moan, the gag didn’t do much to silence him. Brendan’s hands found his hips, stopping him from pushing back further, and he leant down to talk quietly to him,

“Steven,” Ste opened his eyes, he hadn’t realised they were closed, and looked sidelong up at Brendan, Ste already felt dumb and blissed out and they hadn’t even gotten to the best part. Accepting this as acknowledgement, Brendan continued, “I wasn’t… I wasn’t expecting you to…” he tried, he looked awkward and Ste began to feel a sluggish curl of panic in his gut, “I’m not wearing a condom,” he said, that was it? That was what Brendan was worrying him over? Sure Brendan was usually quite the stickler for protection, but Ste had never been with anyone else and he trusted that Brendan would be bringing this up a _lot_ differently if he thought he had something. “That okay with you?” he asked and Ste closed his eyes, smiling with cheeks puffed out from the tie in his mouth, he didn’t nod, he just pushed back against Brendan’s grip, the angle he was at making his hands slip from Ste’s hips and allow him to take him deeper. Brendan’s groan went straight to Ste’s prick and he soon felt full to the brim with cock, crumpling paper under his fingers as he moaned around his gag. He wanted to spit it out and cry out but he knew there were people outside and even if Mitzeee knew what they were up to, he didn’t fancy Warren or other strangers knowing he was getting fucked, but at the same time, knowing that someone could hear them was turning him on. He looked at Brendan over his shoulder, seeing how mesmerised he looked seeing where they were joined, he glanced up and caught Ste’s eye, giving him a smirk before shifting his hips back and then pushing deep into him again, the feel of an open zipper against his backside only heightened how it felt to have Brendan inside him and he scrunched his eyes closed, concentrating on breathing around his gag and pushing himself back onto Brendan’s cock.

Brendan began to fuck him steadily then, digging his fingers into Ste’s hips hard enough to bruise as he ploughed his tight hole, telling him how tight he felt, how much he’d missed this, Ste hung off every word and pushed back to meet every thrust, loving the feel of Brendan inside him. Knowing Brendan didn’t have a condom separating them just got Ste hotter in anticipation for the glorious creaming he’d get soon and his tie was doing a terrible job at keeping him quiet. Feeling Brendan inside him after their short time apart felt like he was whole, it was stupid but he’d missed Brendan _so much_ , and the way he ended up hunched over Ste, kissing his spine, neck and then cheek all the while pumping into him had Ste forgetting they’d even been apart.

He felt Brendan’s hand wrap around his cock and moaned around the gag, opening his eyes and watching his breath fog the glass of the table as his cheek pressed against the cool surface, dazed and in absolute heaven.

 

Brendan’s thrusting was growing erratic and he’d pried himself from Ste’s back, bracing a hand on his shoulder, the other still curled around his cock, pumping him and stopping him from slipping forward on the sweat slick surface of the desk whenever Brendan’s hips slammed against him. He was so close, but Brendan was closer, nestling his hips flush against Ste’s ass as he came, it was different to using a condom, and to his disappointment he couldn’t feel himself getting filled, but he felt overwhelmed and emotional, and it was somehow even more intense than when he’d told Brendan how he felt. He cried into his gag and shot over Brendan’s fingers, feeling Brendan lean over his back to kiss his neck lightly,

“Here’s the good bit,” Brendan murmured breathlessly, keeping a hand on Ste’s prick as he used the hand on Ste’s hip to hold him still, pulling out of him. _Then_ Ste felt it, a hot wetness leaking from him and dripping down his balls and thighs, he let out a muffled moan and his hips bucked, more come slicking Brendan’s fingers and the floor below him. He whimpered and his legs felt shaky as hell, he almost crouched down but Brendan released his prick and used his come slick hand to push come back inside Ste’s asshole, adding Ste’s own to the hot mix, Ste turned slightly to look back at him, seeing he’d sat down and drawn his chair in close, fingering Ste with one hand whilst he stroked come up and down his cock. “You can spit that out if you want,” Brendan remarked and Ste did just that, lumping the soggy tie on the desk; his mouth felt cottony and gross and he wasn’t sure where his drink had gotten to so he couldn’t rectify it, so he just stayed still, licking his lips and willing some saliva back into his mouth. “Surprised you kept it in at all,” he chuckled,

“Yer well…” Ste shrugged uselessly,

“I need a breather before round two,” Brendan sighed, withdrawing his fingers from Ste’s asshole and picking up the shirt Ste had thrown at him earlier, wiping his fingers and his cock off on it, tucking himself away,

“Mmmh… God Bren it’s coming out…” Ste gasped, his cheeks felt hot again as he thought about how lewd he must look,

“Looks fucking amazing…” Brendan grunted, transfixed on Ste’s wet pucker,

“I wish I could see,” he whimpered, watching Brendan roll his eyes before fishing in his pocket for something, pulling his phone out and holding it up. Ste was about to ask what he was doing when he noticed Brendan was looking at the screen, then the back lit up and all he could see was spots, “Ow…” he let out,

“Here,” Brendan leant forward, turning his head and brushing mouth and moustache against the side of Ste’s ass, holding his phone out to Ste, who took it once his limbs became his own again. Brendan’s moustache was tickling him but he managed to focus on the picture on the phone, blinking stupidly, dumbstruck by how disgustingly _hot_ he looked, cheeks flushed, eyes half lidded, looking back past his shoulder as he displayed his asshole for Brendan, come leaking down from the surprisingly tight looking hole, dripping in rivulets down his balls and inner thighs, he could see his still hard cock hanging down too, shiny with lube and come from Brendan’s hand. “Why Steven I didn’t know you were a narcissist,” Brendan hummed against the flesh of his ass, hand slipping between Ste’s parted thighs to stroke along the underside of his cock, hard like he hadn’t shot his load mere moments ago.

“Uh…” he turned pink in his embarrassment and made to stand, the shift had a fresh glob of come escaping him and he whimpered, “You got a tissue or sommat?” he asked desperately, it felt amazing but he was embarrassed and there was an issue pressing at the back of his mind that he needed to get out in the open.

“Use this,” Brendan held Ste’s shirt out to him and Ste scowled,

“Oi I have to wear that tomorrow you prick,” he scathed but Brendan shrugged,

“I’ll lend you one,” he said dismissively, taking Ste’s hips in hand and pulling him closer so he could carefully clean him up with his own school shirt.

 

He was embarrassed still about finding himself sexually attractive, but now he was clean at least, if still a little sticky in places, so he set about pulling his boxers on and getting changed, earning a quizzical look from Brendan as he smoothed out his longsleeved black t-shirt,

“Wot?” he grunted, checking the zipper up the one shoulder was fastened, even if it was mostly cosmetic,

“You know… I’m sure I had a shirt like that once…” he mused, stroking his moustache,

“You also used to have joggers like these,” Ste pointed out, untying the string at the front and pulling at the waistband to show they would be a bit big without the knot. Brendan chuckled at that, shaking his head before beckoning Ste to come sit on his lap, “What do _you_ want?” Ste asked as he sat down,

“You,” Brendan huffed, looking up at him, soon kissing him, but Ste stopped it, “no?” Brendan frowned,

“I… we need to talk Bren…” Ste sighed, as much as he wanted to pretend nothing had happened, Brendan had still hurt him, and they _needed_ to talk about that. They needed to talk about Declan knowing too, despite joking about Declan’s irate text yesterday, Ste didn’t think Brendan was wholly okay with his son knowing they were together again.

“You’re not breaking up with me after _that_ are you?” Brendan chuckled,

“Huh? What? No!” Ste protested, panicking,

“Woah calm down there Steven, it was a joke,” Brendan kissed him then and Ste relaxed against him, keeping it chaste and glad Brendan seemed okay with that. “What’s the problem?” he asked as they parted, expression serious, lifting a hand to push Ste’s hair back off his forehead,

“When Declan saw us… what you said to him…” he felt horrible just thinking about it, “I think… aren’t you even _sorry_?” he asked, meeting Brendan’s gaze and hoping he’d say something, frowning when Brendan gave a little smile.

“I’ve said sorry _so many times_ in my head… had this conversation with myself every day since you walked out, what I’d say if I wasn’t… if I wasn’t such a coward…” he looked almost fond, tracing his thumb over Ste’s thick eyelashes, causing him to wink awkwardly at the touch, “I guess I forgot I hadn’t said it out loud… I went into a panic and I ruined everything… and I know I was less than gentle with you when he caught us together…” Brendan sighed, “And I’m truly sorry for that, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t even know why you’re here with me now,” he admitted, “You could do so much better than me…”

“But I _love_ you,” Ste admitted it in barely a breath, hoping his expression showed how he felt, that he didn’t want to do better, Brendan was who he wanted to be with.

“I know,” Brendan smiled, “I just don’t know if I can…” he gestured between them,

“You don’t _have_ to say it just cause I did,” Ste pointed out, “I don’t mind,” he smiled, he knew Brendan cared about him, hell he was almost certain Brendan was going to say it back before Declan caught them, so he didn’t mind if Brendan didn’t voice it.

“Thank you…” Brendan nodded, he’d run his hands down Ste’s body, settling them on his hips, stroking bare skin just under the hem of his t-shirt with idle thumbs, they were interrupted by an aggressive knock on the door, Ste jumping up from Brendan’s lap and Brendan making sure he was presentable before getting up to unlock it and open it.

“Oh good, you’ve finally got your cock out of jail bait,” Warren gave out, glancing at Ste, who looked downright ashamed, “Need your signature on some paperwork before they’ll get started, plus you might want to actually talk it over with them,” he thumbed behind him,

“I’ll not be too long Steven, make yourself at home,” Brendan dismissed with a slightly irritated look, leaving Ste to sit awkwardly in his chair. Warren didn’t follow immediately after, and Ste decided to defend himself.

“Look right… he weren’t… he didn’t have his…” he tried lamely, cheeks burning with embarrassment,

“Kid, I don’t care if he fucks you, I don’t care if _you_ fuck _him_ , I don’t own the club, if he gets a paedophilia rap, it ain’t gonna reflect negatively on me, I can still get a job,” he dismissed, still lingering in the doorway,

“You’re not gonna tell anyone are you?” Ste asked, “I’m old enough… it’s just… you know…”

“Frowned upon? I won’t be telling anyone, I don’t have a reason to, Brendan is a solid bloke, pretty fair,” he shrugged, “Besides, Mitz said she’d castrate me if I ruined this for her,” Ste frowned then, “No I don’t have a clue what she meant by that either, but I’m not going to risk it,” it was a weird conversation and Ste felt uncomfortable as all hell knowing that Warren knew they’d been together, most likely he was aware that it had happened _very_ recently.

 

Warren left him alone after that and he ended up hanging out with Mitzeee for most of the day, the two of them sitting back on one of the couches and drinking (still only J2Os on Ste’s part) whilst they watched Brendan and Warren get roped into helping the workers to move things along. Mitzeee was nice, Ste really liked chatting to her, learning little things about Brendan that he hadn’t known before, like how he’d been her manager for a short time and still tended to go to shoots with her to ensure she wasn’t taken advantage of.

“He’s well nice,” Ste sighed,

“He’s lovely,” Mitzeee agreed, “not that he’d admit to it,”

“I know, god…” they gave each other an exasperated look which Brendan caught, snapping something at a worker and heading over,

“What’re you two tittering about?” he asked suspiciously,

“You,” Ste said honestly,

“Well pack it in,” he ordered, “Foxy’s got this down pat and I need to pick Declan up from school,”

“But it’s Thursday…” Ste frowned,

“Yeah I know, his mam said I could have him tonight til Monday, since I was away for a while,” he looked guilty as he said it and Ste felt bad for questioning it,

“Aright I’ll get me things,” he hopped up and headed for the office, Brendan following after him. When he turned around, Brendan looked alarmed, “Alright?” he asked,

“Are you comin’ with me to get Deccy?” he asked, fidgeting as Ste checked he had everything,

“Yeah sure, why not?”

“Just… does he know you’re with me?” He asked, worried,

“I didn’t tell him I were waggin’ it,” Ste realised he probably should have sent them a text or _something_ , oops.

“No I mean…” Brendan trailed off,

“Oh! Well he knew you was textin’ me, guessed it was flirting,” he shrugged, “We need to tell him anyway,” Brendan seemed to deflate at that, “I promised I’d be honest with him Bren, we can talk to him together, it’ll be fine,” he promised, feeling weird that he was trying to reassure an adult when he was the teenager here. “He’s my best mate, _your son_ , we need to tell him about this, cause we owe him that for goin’ behind his back in the first place,” he explained, nodding resolutely.

“Not yet yeah? I’ll drop you off at home…” Brendan sounded distant as he said it,

“We’ve gotta tell him soon Bren,”

“Yeah but… not tonight… it’s my first night seeing him again…” Ste sighed heavily at that, Brendan was giving him a quietly pleading look and he was losing his resolve,

“Fine… but soon, alright?” he huffed, slinging his bag over his shoulder and brushing past Brendan to leave.   
“Steven!” Brendan called after him, walking briskly to catch up with him as he left the club, “You’re not being short with me now are you?” he asked,

“No, no sorry,” Ste sighed, he was a little pissed off but he didn’t want to be, he _really_ wanted to be up front with Declan about seeing his dad again, just to assure him everything was okay and that Brendan had apologised to him for what had happened, so he could start actually _liking_ his dad again.

“Good, I’d hate for this to end badly already,” Brendan sounded nervous as he laughed, bumping Ste lightly with his shoulder, a gesture that was apparently hereditary in the Brady family given Declan’s love of doing that.

“Not gettin’ rid of me that easily Bren,” Ste smiled, hopping into the car and waiting for Brendan to sit down and buckle in before leaning over and pressing a light kiss to his cheek,

“What’s that for?” Brendan asked, smiling almost coyly,

“I dunno… just cause I forgive you I guess,” he shrugged, he wasn’t sure why he’d done it, he just knew he’d wanted to.

“I’m glad,” Brendan smiled, soft and adoring, it warmed Ste from the inside and he felt himself blushing,

“Shurrup…”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I got this chapter done quicker than I thought I would (as I finished the V-day one yesterday and expected to be a couple of days in finishing this chapter). I'm really sorry about the massive hiatus, my computer breaking and not writing for so long put me in a massive writer's block. I could only really manage small ficlets in between (you can find them on my Tumblr [my tumblr is Nopholom, just add FictionFolder to the URL or click it in my sidebar] along with other stuff I've written) just to try and get my flow back. I'm really glad I managed to get this chapter done, I know it's been ages and I'm sorry if any of you thought I'd given up on this fic. There should only be 3 chapters and an epilogue left before it's complete, but this fic started off as a 13 chapter fic, so fuck if I know whether I'll stick to that plan. It's mostly gotten longer again this time because I didn't want to introduce drama so soon after putting you all through that wait. ANYWAY! Enjoy this chapter!

He was still grinning when Brendan dropped him off, being daring enough to do so at his front door this time, but not before Ste had called the house to make sure nobody was home, and if Declan didn’t need to be picked up soon, Ste would have invited him inside, said as much too.

“If only, though the last thing I need in my life is to be caught with you by your step-da,” Brendan sighed, disappointing Ste by losing the flirtatious air they’d shared the whole ride home, but he understood the issue, it hadn’t really occurred to him that Terry might come home, and he didn’t need that hassle, neither of them did, Terry would _kill_ them both. “Don’t look so sad there Steven, I’ll call you tonight,” he promised, “so put your phone on silent aye?” he suggested with a wink, Ste grinned then, taking a big chance and leaning across the car to kiss Brendan, surprised he let it happen at all let alone kissed back with gusto. Brendan’s hand found his hair and pulled him to deepen the kiss, messy and rough with a clash of teeth and tongue, he felt like he was being consumed and it went straight to his dick, a moan escaping his lips when they parted.

“You are a tease,” Ste whined as he sat back, spreading his legs to get Brendan to notice the tenting fabric at his crotch,

“Is that really new information to you Steven?” Brendan asked, he had a point, Brendan may have been forward in his sexual advances, but when there was a risk, he’d push to a certain point and then withdraw, leaving Ste frustrated and wanting more.

“Peh,” he let out, shrugging and grabbing his bag from the foot well of the car, turning to get out of the car and letting out a surprised noise when Brendan gave his backside a quick sharp smack, he stood upright and gave Brendan a lecherous smirk, holding his hand to his ear and mouthing ‘call me’ before he headed away from the car and towards his house, flying high now that things were back on track with him and Brendan, sexually at least.

He let himself in, stopping to glance over his shoulder and smiling bashfully when he saw Brendan was still there, looking out at him with a thoughtful expression, he seemed to startle when he noticed Ste looking back at him, turning his gaze forward and shifting the car into gear, tearing away shortly after.

 

Ste let out a sigh and closed the door behind him, hefting his backpack into the kitchen to load his soiled uniform into the washing machine with a couple of towels, turning it on and hoping for the best. At least with his uniform in the wash, his parents wouldn’t see the mess Brendan had made of it, though he needed a shower if he was going to hide the mess Brendan had made of _him_ , he grinned at the thought, making a mental note to try and convince Brendan to send him that photo, but without looking like a creep. He headed upstairs and dumped his backpack in his room, retreating to the bathroom and locking himself in, turning the shower on to let the water heat up as he stripped off.

His initial clean up after Brendan had fucked him wasn’t exactly up to standard, but he didn’t mind since it meant he got to spend longer in the shower, stepping under the spray and letting it cascade down his body for a few minutes, tilting his head up at the showerhead. He washed himself thoroughly, soon reaching behind himself to push soapy suds along the line of his crack, losing himself in thought as he idly traced his asshole with wet fingers, pushing them in with the intent to soap up and clean, but his mind had wandered to Brendan inside of him and his dick began to stir, hardening and growing sensitive to the water raining down on him.

He let out a soft moan, one hand pushing fingers into his tight asshole, the other wrapping around his prick as he shifted his stance, spreading his feet for maximum balance as he closed his eyes and touched his forehead to the cold tile.

He thought about Brendan’s hands on him, gripping tight on his hips as he fucked him, and it occurred to him that he’d _lived_ that; that had really happened. He stroked his cock slowly and deliberately, slowing down his fantasy fuck, thinking back on how he’d been sat astride Brendan not too long ago, the slow roll of Brendan’s hips after Ste had finally caved and said it, no longer able to hold it in any more, the way they’d kissed and held each other after had been intense. That was his fantasy now, that slow, indulgent fuck that said Brendan meant the world to him, and Ste meant the world to Brendan too, but in his fantasy Brendan said ‘I love you’ back, open mouthed against his throat, a low rumble that had Ste driving his fingers as far into himself as he could manage without slipping, crying Brendan’s name out as he shot his load across the tiles. He fell silent, embarrassed and nervous that someone might’ve been home and heard him, he didn’t know what he’d do if that was the case, so he waited. He held his breath and slipped his fingers from his hole, turning in the tub and pulling the curtain aside, looking at the door like he could see through it; after a few minutes he was confident that nobody had heard him, it didn’t sound like anyone had come home whilst he’d been in the shower.

He sighed heavily and gave himself an extra once over with shower gel, clearing his cum off the wall before turning the spray off and stepping out of the shower, wrapping an old slightly rough towel around his waist and drying his hands with another one so he could gather up his clothes.

 

He felt at ease now that moment of panic was over, relaxed and mellow as he left the bathroom and headed for his room, tossing his clothes onto the floor and sitting on the bed in his towel, letting his eyes close for a moment and just sitting for a while. He was disturbed from his daze when his phone began to ring, jumping up to fetch it from his bag, hoping it was Brendan so he could tell him how he’d finger fucked himself he was that desperate to get on him again. It wasn’t Brendan, but Ste wasn’t disappointed, grinning when he saw it was Declan and answering quickly,

“Hiya!” he greeted, bubbly and eager to speak to Declan even if he couldn’t talk about what he wanted to,

“Heya mate, you weren’t at school today, you okay?” Declan asked, ever the concerned best friend,

“Yeah, didn’t fancy it really, stopped home…” he excused, telling a half truth,

“Oh…” Declan let out, “I thought you’d wagged off to spend time with my da,” Declan laughed, it wasn’t accusatory, it was genuine, and Ste felt guilty,

“Uh… Dec I don’t wanna lie to you, but your da said he weren’t ready to talk about it, don’t tell him I said owt,” he blurted, now feeling guilty for breaking Brendan’s confidence.

“I knew it!” Declan hissed and Ste panicked that he was angry, “that fucker’s been on the moon since he pulled up, ‘repairs at the bar’ my arse,”

“Oh god are you mad? I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you but he said not to bring it up,” Ste apologised profusely,

“What? No! Ste chill mate, Da’s been fibbin’ not you,” Declan laughed,

“Well the bar _did_ need repairs… we were there… I met Mitzeee,” Ste mused, he wondered if he’d get the chance to see her again,

“Oh… so he’s just omittin’ the Ste bit then, alright, lease that’s not exactly _lyin’_ ,” Declan hummed, “Hey I’ve got an idea, why don’t you come over tomorrow? Spend the weekend,” Declan suggested and Ste went into panic, Brendan wouldn’t want him there, there was too much risk of Declan ‘finding out’,

“I dunno, you’ve not seen your dad in ages I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that or owt,” Ste shrugged uselessly, fiddling with his towel and realising he should really get dressed.

“Nah mate I’ll see him loads, I just figure you know, if you’s are datin’ or whatever you’re gonna wanna be somewhere you can be comfortable together, plus I can ambush da and get him to talk to me about it,” Declan offered and Ste was grateful that Declan wanted them to be together, even if it was probably really weird for him.

“You’re the best,” he sighed, he probably should have asked if Declan was sure, but he’d started thinking about spending the weekend with Brendan and was lost in all kinds of ridiculous fantasies, from cuddling together on the couch, to riding his cock and trying to keep from crying out and waking Declan.

“I know I am, I just want you to be happy…” Declan sighed, “I wish it wasn’t all so complicated,” he added, and Ste agreed,

“Me an’all, but I guess in a couple of years it won’t be…” he shrugged as he said it,

“Things are that serious huh?” Declan asked, sounding amused, “You two gonna get hitched when you turn 18 then or what?”

“Wot? Huh? What’re you on about?” Ste sputtered, he was getting nervous, he didn’t know why, he didn’t know if he and Brendan would be together more than a week, let alone long enough for them to consider anything as huge as marriage, why the hell was he even dwelling on it? He covered his face with a hand and let out a disgruntled noise,

“I’m only feckin’ with you Ste, don’t panic!” Declan laughed, “Anyway I gotta go soon, me an’ da are watchin’ a film before dinner, so come over tomorrow after school, we’ll hang out, get takeout, an’ then you an’ da can go… do whatever… _quietly_ , and I’ll try not to think about it,” he gave an uncomfortable chuckle at that and Ste felt like his face was on fire, embarrassed that he was being told to fuck his best mate’s dad _by his best mate_.

“God Dec shut up,” he blushed,

“See you tomorrow right?”

“Yeah I’ll be in tomorrow, promise,” Ste smiled, “See ya,” he added, waiting for Declan to hang up before he did the same, placing his phone on the bedside table before moving to get dressed.

 

He settled on a pair of cotton lounging pants and an old band t-shirt, going commando just because he felt like it, and because he wanted to give Brendan something to think about, deciding to send a less than subtle photo of his pants pushed low enough down to expose the thicker curls of his pubic hair and a sliver of the base of his cock.

 _‘Christ Steven not now, 300 is coming on_ ’ Ste pouted at that,

 _‘Wot u’d rather see Jerrard Butler in his kecks thn me w out mine?’_ he responded, though he knew what the response would be,

 _‘Not a chance, but it’s bonding time for me and Deccy, so pull your pants up and go play xbox or something_ ’ He’d expected the first part but his mind had given the latter half of the text a curt tone and he was bitter about it.

 _‘Well I wud but my xbox is at urs.’_ He sent and tossed the phone onto the bed, ignoring it when it lit up again, signalling that Brendan had messaged him again, he shouldn’t have been petty, he was sure Brendan didn’t mean anything by it, he just wanted to spend time with his kid, Ste couldn’t fault him for that.

He headed downstairs, leaving his phone behind and making himself a cuppa before heading for the living room; he sat down and grabbed the remote, turning the TV on and channel surfing, losing his bitterness when he found the channel 300 was on. It was stupid but he got a feeling of normalcy over the thought that Brendan and Declan were watching this too, he went to text Brendan but realised his phone was upstairs, so he just made himself comfortable and watched the film, alone until Terry and his mum got home and got sucked into watching it too.

It was weird to be sat and civil with his parents, weirder still when the film ended and Terry ordered Indian food, though about half way through the meal Terry stopped and looked around,

“What the _fuck_ is that sound?” he asked irritably, muting the TV, they could all hear it, an obnoxious rhythmic buzzing coming from the ceiling. It took Ste a few seconds of confusion to realise it was his phone,

“I left me phone upstairs,” he stood and idled for a moment, not sure if he should put his plate down and go get the phone, or take it with him,

“It’s been going on for the past half hour,” Terry snapped, “Go on fuck off upstairs,” he dismissed, it was a scolding but it was mild, so Ste obeyed and darted upstairs with his food, careful not to drop any because he knew he’d end up in  the shitter then.

His phone was still going crazy when he got to his room, vibrating its way across the floor, where it had obviously fallen from the bed in its attempt to oscillate its way to freedom, he placed his plate on his bedside table and scooped his phone up from the floor, it was Brendan calling.

“Hiya,” he greeted, chipper as ever even with a hint of confusion to his voice,

“Jesus Steven are you alright? Has something happened?” Brendan sounded panicked,

“Huh? Yer, I’m fine,” he said slowly, confused,

“Thank Christ, I thought he’d feckin’ killed you or something, answer your damned phone when I call you,” Brendan snapped,

“Oi don’t have a go at me, I left me phone upstairs,” he huffed, not happy about being told off like this, “It’s not the end of the world,”

“It could’ve been,” Brendan protested, “I thought he’d found out about you skippin’ school and figured out why, I worried,” he sounded calmer now, relieved,

“Naw,” Ste let out, amused, “Nah I went downstairs and started watchin’ that film,” Ste shrugged, “I’m okay though, got some korma,” he added as he sat on the edge of the bed, “Hows Deccy?”

“Good, worried too, starin’ out the window at me,”

“You’re outside?” Ste frowned, moving his plate to his lap and forking some food into his mouth,

“I was about to get in the car when you picked up,” he admitted, Ste humming another ‘aw’ at him, it was the most he could do with a mouth full of korma. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Mhm, Terry’s been nowt but mint since I got home,” he shovelled more food into his mouth, chomping away as he listened to Brendan heading inside and reassuring Declan,

“He’s fine, the eejit left his phone in his room,” he huffed and Ste balked,

“Oi, I can hear you,”

“I know,” Brendan chuckled, “Headin’ off upstairs Deccy, don’t stop up too late,” Ste grinned to himself then, placing his half-full plate on the bed as he moved his bedside table in front of the door as a makeshift barricade. “What’re you up to then?” Brendan asked suspiciously,

“Blockin’ the door,” Ste smirked as he said it, a suggestive air to his voice,

“Well isn’t that something?” Brendan purred,

“Could be, gotta finish my korma first though,” he gave a bit of a giggle then, and Brendan was content to sit and chat with him for a few hours before things grew heated.

 

Ste was a pile of nerves at school the next day, he’d neglected to mention Declan’s plan to Brendan or even ask if he knew about it at all, and he didn’t want to ask _Declan_ because it was his plan in the first place, whether he’d told Brendan or not, he wouldn’t want to ‘spook’ Ste from wanting to come over. It didn’t help his nerves that some people had come and taken him out of his last class in order to make him do tests that he wouldn’t find out the results of til Monday, so he was feeling quite frazzled when Declan found him and dragged him to the car park.

“Dec I’m not sure I should come over…” he admitted when he finally saw Brendan, stomach aflutter with unwanted nerves,

“Nah shut up mate it’ll be ace,” Declan promised, dragging him forcefully towards Brendan’s car, Ste tried not to panic, nervous his body would get ahead of his brain and he’d do something stupid in front of a carpark full of people.

“Let the poor lad go Deccy,” Brendan called out, smiling at the pair of them,

“Not a chance, he’s comin’ with us,” Brendan looked just as shocked as Ste thought he would, which made him feel guilty as all hell,

“I can just go home if it’s a problem,” he shrugged,

“You heard the lad Steven, get in the car,” Brendan smirked, recovering from his initial shock and giving Ste a predatory look, turning to get into the car, leaving Ste to make up his own mind. Declan hopped into the back and looked at Ste expectantly, and Ste couldn’t really resist _both_ of them wanting him there; he let out an exaggerated sigh and climbed into the car, buckling himself in and looking over at Brendan, then into the back at Declan. “So how was school boys?” Brendan asked, cringing as he said it,

“Bit weird you askin’ your boyfriend that,” Declan pointed out,

“Yeah thanks Declan, I didn’t notice that,” Brendan grumbled irritably. Ste wanted to dissolve the tension, opting to say the first thing that came to mind,

“The dyslexia people came and tested me today,” he piped up, he was upset about it, he realised as he said it, he didn’t want to be thick, but he didn’t want to have something wrong with him either.

“That’s great Steven, how was it?” Brendan asked, looking around as he reversed from his spot and followed the one-way traffic out of the school car park.

“Well hard, I didn’t like it at all…” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out the window,

“Hey… you alright?” Brendan asked, moving to reach out but hesitating, so Declan took it upon himself to lean forward and squeeze Ste’s shoulders in reassurance,

“What if I _am_ just thick?” he asked,  
“You’re not,” Brendan assured, “trust me,”

“Then I’m disabled, how is that better?” he asked bitterly,

“It’s better because you can deal with dyslexia, being thick’ll stop you going places in life,” Brendan explained, though he didn’t sound very sure in his words. Ste narrowed his eyes at Brendan before turning his attention back out the window,

“Plus people give you more consideration, like with jobs and school and stuff,” Declan offered, sounding more sure of himself than Brendan had, which put Ste at ease, “So just chill out, enjoy the weekend with your two favourite Irishmen, an’ take whatever they tell you in your stride, and we’ll deal with it together,” Declan smiled, sitting back and saying something quietly to himself, Ste didn’t catch it but Brendan looked visibly surprised. He went to ask but Declan started regaling them both with the events of his school day in more detail than was necessary, Brendan even criticised his verbal diarrhoea when they arrived at his house.

 

Walking through those doors had Ste feeling like he’d never been away, everything looked the same, but he figured part of that was to do with Brendan’s absence, and with it not being that long at all, even though at the time it felt like an age.

“Want a cuppa?” Declan asked as he pushed ahead of everyone and made a beeline for the kitchen,

“Sure,” Ste smiled, looking over to Brendan, expecting an answer, surprised when Brendan swept in and snaked an arm around his waist, pulling him close and sealing their mouths together. Ste sputtered and pushed him away, cheeks aflame, “Brendan! Dec’s right _there_!” he balked,

“Nothin’ he hasn’t seen before,” Brendan dismissed easily, ducking in for another kiss before pausing when Ste’s reluctance didn’t waver,

“He’s seen a lot of things he don’t need to see again,” Ste huffed. “Dec I’m right sorry,” he apologised, still blushing,

“It’s alright mate,” Declan shrugged, flipping the switch on the freshly filled kettle,

“It don’t bother you?” Ste asked, wanting explicit confirmation to come from Declan’s mouth so he wouldn’t feel bad.

“Honestly? I think PDA is… icky…” he gave a shudder as he said it, “but don’t let that stop you, I mean, just don’t start shaggin’ on the couch,” his words brought back a memory that had Ste’s cheeks burning and he turned away from Declan quickly, crashing his mouth against Brendan’s to hide his embarrassment, fearing Declan would peg onto the fact that they’d absolutely done that before. “I mean at least wait until we’re done with the conversation, Jaysus…” Declan grumbled and the kettle started to rumble as it boiled, Brendan pulled away from the kiss, their foreheads touching as he smiled at Ste,

“You remembering a particular romp of ours?” Brendan whispered with a wicked smirk,  
“Shut up,” Ste hissed, he couldn’t understand how Brendan could be so cool about Declan finding out they’d fucked where people _sat_ , especially not after how poorly he’d reacted to being caught with Ste in the first place.

“Never,” Brendan pressed their mouths together, but continued to murmur, “because I love it when you squirm, and thinkin’ about how I bent you over that couch right there,” his hands moved to hold Ste’s hips, thumbs brushing skin just under the hem of his school shirt, “and ploughed your asshole, bruised those pretty little hips of yours,” he dug his fingers into Ste’s hips and drew him closer, so they were touching groin to groin, showing him that while Ste had very little control over whether his dick stood upright then and there, Brendan could keep himself calm and collected.

“ _Brendan_ ,” Ste hissed again and squirmed out of Brendan’s grasp, Brendan didn’t resist his desire to move away, letting him slink off and hide his boner by sitting at the breakfast bar. Brendan followed but kept his hands mostly to himself, sitting beside Ste and giving his thigh a quick, vaguely apologetic squeeze under the edge of the counter top. Declan divvied out the cups of tea and headed for the lounge instead, which Ste cursed him for, since he was still sporting wood, so he grabbed Brendan’s wrist on the counter top, giving him a pleading look.

“You two coming?” Declan called over, turning the TV on and kicking back, Ste noticed him looking over but Ste’s attention was soon drawn away by a finger hooked under his chin, leading him into a kiss, earning an ‘ech’ from Declan as Brendan gave them an excuse to not go over, kissing him gently and cupping his face. Ste wasn’t sure if he was just forcing a sickly sweet moment or if the warmth and sweetness was genuine and organic, either way he melted into it, turning in his seat and moving his hands to Brendan’s neck, brushing his thumbs against a hint of stubble on his jaw.

“That didn’t help,” he murmured against Brendan’s lips, smiling stupidly at him,

“Stopped us goin’ over didn’t it?” Brendan smirked.

 

Ste still needed to think about something else though, dick half hard under the table, wracking his brain for anything he could grasp at as he sat upright and tried to lace his and Brendan’s fingers together on the counter. He thought for a moment that Brendan was going to pull away, but his fingers tightened a fraction and Brendan smiled at him,

“Bren?” Ste asked curiously, something occurring to him,

“Mm?” Brendan hummed, picking up his cup and taking a swig,

“What _did_ Declan say in the car?” he asked quietly, glancing over to see Declan was leaning on his hand with a pillow between his cheek and hand, probably to block the peripheral of his dad flirting with his best mate.

“In the car?” Brendan looked confused, “He said a lot of things, you’re gonna have to be specific Steven…”

“You know, when we were talkin’ about my dyslexia test thing?” he prompted, fidgeting nervously at the mention of the tests,

“Oh…” Brendan seemed uncertain, giving Ste’s hand a squeeze before leaning closer, “maybe you should ask him,” he suggested, disappointing Ste there,

“Maybe I will,” he shrugged, glancing over to his mate and sighing, “Maybe we shouldn’t be like this around him…” he mumbled,

“He said it’s fine, the boy knows his own mind,” Brendan dismissed easily,

“Yer and his mind was tellin’ him he wanted to date me a few weeks ago, this seems right cruel,” Ste hissed back, he hadn’t meant to put it like that or even really say it all, but Brendan didn’t seem particularly shocked, and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever _mentioned_ Declan’s crush, so he didn’t know what to think, unless it was pretty obvious from Declan’s behaviour, it hadn’t been to Ste until he’d made a pass at him.

“He said it’s fine, but if you want to be that way, that’s fine too,” Brendan gave a shrug and snaked his hand from Ste’s grasp, cradling his cup instead, and Ste instantly wanted to take his hand and change his mind. He almost did it too, drumming his fingers on the table a few times before shaking his head and standing up, no longer impeded by an unwanted state of arousal, heading over to the lounge and sitting next to Declan with his cuppa in hand.

“You get bored of playin’ footsie?” Declan asked with a smirk,

“I don’t like bein’ like that with him around you…” Ste shrugged,

“I said I don’t mind,” Declan repeated, “Don’t make that my new catchphrase,” he chuckled,

“Don’t mean I’m gonna shove it down your throat though, that in’t fair,” Ste explained, and at this point it didn’t really matter if Declan was okay with it, it made _Ste_ uncomfortable with his own actions, so he didn’t want to do it.

“Alright then, whatever makes you happy mate… even if that’s getting cosy with my da,” Declan was too okay with this, but Ste was grateful for that really, if Declan was less okay with it, Brendan would have been branded a paedophile, and Ste would have lost both of them and he didn’t know if Amy would have stuck with him through it either unless he’d taken the cowards way out and cried abuse.

He gave a massive sigh at the thought and sank in his seat, he half wanted to lean on Declan’s shoulder but he couldn’t bring himself to try, and Brendan soon crossed over to sit on his other side so he reluctantly gave in to temptation and leant on _him_ instead, earning some concerned looks but he brushed them off saying he was happy _, really_.

 

They all headed upstairs an hour later, Declan had suggested playing video games, and Brendan didn’t have anything to do, so he followed, sitting with an arm around Ste’s shoulders as Ste and Declan played split screen. Ste was comfortable and genuinely happy here, snuggled up to Brendan’s side like it was nothing, shit talking Declan’s FPS skills and being accused of screen-looking when he was on a kill streak, it was crazy how normal it felt. He was grinning like an idiot the whole time, loving the way Brendan would give his shoulder a squeeze when he did well, whispering quietly into his ear and making playful jabs at Declan’s sore loser attitude, insisting it was from his mother’s side, but Ste had his doubts.

“You two are gross,” Declan chuckled, pausing the game for them both,

“Ey we’re not doin’ owt,” Ste defended with a stupid grin, because Brendan held him close and muttered something filthy in his ear, a promise of what they _could_ be doing, if Declan weren’t there.

“Eugh,” Declan let out, shoving at Ste’s shoulder before offering his controller out to his dad, “You wanna go?”

“Not really my game,” Brendan waved it off, instead moving his hand from Ste’s shoulder to the side of his head, pushing him closer to kiss the side of his head,

“What’s your game then?” Ste asked, “Pong?”

“Space Invaders?” Declan supplied,

“Jesus how old do you two think I am?” Brendan lamented, “I lived and breathed Super Mario Bros,” he said wistfully,

“You know they still make them right?” Ste pointed out,

“I still have my old Nintendo somewhere…” Brendan shrugged, “if I wanted to play it, I’d hook that up, I wouldn’t play this pale imitation crap you see on the telly,” he dismissed,

“Aw come on, have a go, I’ll go easy on yer, or you can go against Deccy, he’s well shit,” Ste joked, earning a jab of an elbow from Declan,

“I am not, you’re a cheater,” Declan laughed,

“Nah I in’t,” Ste stuck his tongue out at him and retreated into Brendan’s protective hold, thrilled that Brendan was amused by their antics.

“Go on, have a go,” Declan diverted back to Brendan, holding out his controller for his dad to take, “Don’t go easy on him,” Declan instructed Ste as Brendan reluctantly took hold of the controller.

“At least give me a minute to learn how to play,” Brendan grumbled, leaving Ste’s shoulders cold as he slipped his arm from around him and got comfortable, Ste gave a shiver before moving closer to Brendan’s side.

Brendan didn’t take long to learn the controls and seemed to have a natural talent for it, making Ste question his honesty, which he had to question even more when Brendan began to employ dirty tactics to get the better of him. Despite being somewhat good at the game, Brendan wasn’t as good as Ste, he wasn’t as good as Declan either, which led to the foul tactics of distraction and cheese tactics, but Ste didn’t say anything, happy for Declan to rag on him for ‘being snaky’.

 

It was good fun, they swapped out controllers every so often, and eventually the general consensus was that food should be ordered in, preferably pizza, so Brendan left Declan and Ste upstairs whilst he went to order. Declan turned the console off and sat back, looking over at Ste with a smile,

“So…” Declan let out slowly, looking like he was trying to keep a straight face and not grin like an idiot.

“What?” Ste asked, nervous of what was to come next,

“You guys seem happy,” Declan grinned then, shoving at Ste and then boxing the air briefly, like this was the best news ever,

“Mate he’s your _dad_ , stop being so happy about it,” Ste cringed, but he was grinning too, because Declan seemed thrilled,

“He’s my da, you’re my best mate, you’re both happy, I’m happy,” Declan explained, “Plus he _never_ plays xbox with me, that was awesome,” he beamed, and his excitement about it was contagious, because Ste was giddy enough to tackle him onto the couch, the two ending up on the floor when Declan rolled him.

They were still tussling on the floor when Brendan rushed into the room, phone still to his ear, “Christ Declan get off him,” Brendan snapped, grabbing the back of Declan’s shirt and hefting him to his feet, shoving him to the couch, he looked _fuming_ ,

“Bren wait we was only messin’ around!” Ste hurried, jumping up and looking between father and son, Brendan didn’t look angry now, in fact he looked _concerned_ ,

“Yeah, twenty minutes, that’s fine,” Brendan snapped at the guy on the phone before hanging up and tossing it aside, “Now you two, what the _hell_ is going on?” Brendan asked, going into Dad mode a little, which just made Ste feel _weird_ since it was being aimed at _him_ too.

“We were just tusslin’ da, nothin’ is goin’ on, it’s normal, we’re teenage lads, we scrap sometimes,” Declan huffed, pulling at his shirt to smooth out the bunched up material at the back,

“This true?” Brendan turned to Ste.

“Yeah, what else would it be?” Ste asked, frowning, he couldn’t understand what Brendan looked so worried about, it wasn’t like either of them had gotten hurt, and _Ste_ started it, so what was going through his head? Brendan didn’t answer, he just let out an embarrassed grunt and left the room, heading back downstairs and leaving the boys to give each other clueless looks. “What were that about?” Ste asked,

“Feck if I know,” Declan shrugged, “Maybe he thought we were fightin’?” he suggested,

“Obviously,” Ste chuckled, “but _why?_ Why would he think we were fightin’ for real?” he frowned,

“I dunno… unless…” Declan looked worried then, “He coulda thought I was mad about you two, ah feck I gotta go talk to him,” Declan stood then and gave Ste a brief pat on the shoulder as he passed him and fled the room to chase his dad down. It made sense to Ste though, if Brendan thought they were fighting because of _him_ , and then he got angry at Declan, of course he’d feel embarrassed and probably pretty shitty, given how _his_ dad had treated _him_. Ste was soon rushing downstairs to make sure Brendan was okay too, stopping in the doorway to the main room and watching quietly as Brendan and Declan talked, he couldn’t hear what they were saying but he was grinning ear to ear when Declan hugged his dad. Brendan saw him over Declan’s shoulder, lifting a hand briefly to gesture him over, Ste following the gesture quickly and sandwiching Declan between the pair of them, muscling in on their hug.

“Nothin’ quite like a bit of love from my two favourite lads,” Brendan mumbled with a small smile, ruffling Declan’s hair as the three of them parted, though he kept a hand on Ste, guiding him closer and under his arm to keep their sides pressed together.

“Still weird,” Declan pointed out,

“Please stop reminding me,” Brendan sighed, Ste felt a slight twitch in Brendan’s arm, a suggestion that Brendan was going to move away, but his hand remained on Ste’s shoulder, making him smile and lean up to kiss his cheek,

“I’ll stop reminding you when it stops being weird,” Declan teased, scrunching his nose up when he saw Ste kissing his dad’s cheek, “I’m on’y jokin’ though, I’m super happy, you guys seem really happy…” he sighed, leaning on the countertop and giving them both this gooey look, like a proud parent looking at their child’s first ever good choice in partner, _that_ was weird.

 

They ended up retreating to the sitting area, Declan crashing at one end of the sofa whilst Brendan and Ste sat at the other, practically joined at the hip at this point, just unashamedly cuddling because _they could_. After a while the pizza arrived and Brendan got up to pay, soon returning and the three of them sat eating and watching TV together, greasy handed and comfortable as hell, Brendan even let them have a few beers, just enough to get a light buzz, though it was making Ste kind of sleepy.

“I’m headed off to bed now,” Declan piped up from the other end of the sofa, standing and stretching, letting out a loud yawn, obviously affected by the booze the same way,

“You know what, I might head up an’ all,” Ste yawned, catching it from Declan, he turned his body towards Brendan’s, leaning to press a light kiss to his lips, confused when Brendan looked away, watching as he pulled his phone out, Ste frowned at it, it was just a number, not a contact, but Brendan let out a quiet sigh like he recognised the number any way,

“You go ahead, I’ve got business,” Brendan dismissed absently, shifting his arm from around Ste’s shoulders and moving to stand, turning his back on Ste and Declan as he headed for the gym to take his call.

“Aright then…” Ste grumbled, standing and stretching a few kinks out before making his way upstairs, Declan following after; he glanced at Brendan’s bedroom but bypassed it, earning confusion from his best mate,

“Where you goin’ Ste?” he asked, Ste turning to cock his head at him,

“Me room I guess, why?” He thought it was pretty obvious, but Declan didn’t seem satisfied with that answer,

“You’re gonna end up in there anyway Ste, just go sleep in da’s room you soft git,” he smiled, Ste hesitated at first, he wasn’t sure about it, but Declan gave him a mothering pose, hand on hips and expression impatient, silently urging Ste to go to Brendan’s room.

“Hey Dec?” Ste asked, feeling uncomfortable and awkward about even asking,

“Yeah?”

“In the car… you said sommat and I didn’t hear… Bren told me to ask you…” he looked at the ground as he asked, he didn’t know why he felt so awkward asking, but he did,

“Oh… I dunno… it was shite really…” Declan shrugged, not a very satisfactory answer, and Ste was about to turn to go into the bedroom, accepting it, when Declan spoke up again, “I said we’d sort it out like families are supposed to…” he admitted, looking embarrassed,

“Oh…” Ste didn’t really know what to say to that, of course Declan was like family, but he was saying it differently, like Ste was considered family because of his affiliation with _Brendan_ rather than his best friend. “Oh…” he let out again, giving a little sniff as he began feeling overwhelmed,

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean owt by it,” Declan assured, reaching and holding Ste’s shoulders,

“No I… shit Dec that means a load to me,” Ste mumbled, seeing the realisation on Declan’s face as he looked up, soon being pulled into a hug,

“Then I take that back, I meant loads by it,” he whispered in Ste’s ear.

Ste pulled away and wiped his face, he hadn’t cried but he felt like he could if Declan said one more stupid soppy thing,

“Go on,” Declan urged, gesturing to Brendan’s bedroom,

“Alright… Night Dec,” he smiled before retreating into the room and pushing the door closed, burying his face in his hands almost immediately after, embarrassed and a little bit emotional.

Eventually he pried his hands away from his face and flicked the bedroom light on, looking around through narrowed eyes as he waited for them to adjust to the light again, the room didn’t look lived in, which wasn’t much of a surprise, Brendan was finicky about making the bed and didn’t have a whole lot of personality when it came to decor. He smiled at the thought and began to shed his school uniform, keeping the plain white tee he had underneath it on, along with his boxers, tossing his clothes on the floor with a sly grin, knowing how it annoyed Brendan, especially when it wasn’t related to sex. He climbed into bed and buried his face in the pillow, smiling stupidly to himself as the smell of Brendan filled his nostrils, he’d missed that, and it soothed him to the point that he was close to asleep within minutes.

 

He was roused from his light sleep soon after though, the bed beside him dipped and shifted as Brendan lay down and made himself comfortable, clearly not intending to wake him up,

“mmh,” Ste let out sleepily, he’d slept long enough to end up in that weird zombie state of vague consciousness when he woke up, taking a minute to adjust to life in the waking world.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you…” Brendan muttered, tucking his hands behind his head and aching his back off the bed to stretch,

“Yea you did,” Ste smiled, shifting to press against his side,

“I did?” Brendan asked, sounding genuinely confused,

“Yer, I can’t do _this_ if I’m asleep, can I?” he hummed as he slid his hand under the duvet, barely surprised to find that Brendan was nude, wrapping his fingers around his soft cock and feeling it start to fill out against his palm.

“That’s… that’s true…” Brendan gasped a little as Ste gave him a testing squeeze and began to run his hand up his shaft, wishing he’d thought to at least spit on his palm first, but Brendan didn’t seem to mind and his pace was slow, an attempt to arouse him, not get him off.

“Couldn’t do this either,” he moved to kneel then, tossing the duvet aside and working his way out of his boxers with one hand before straddling Brendan’s thighs so he could still comfortably stroke his dick, Ste’s own dick was starting to harden as he thought about what he’d need to do in order to start riding Brendan’s cock.

“Also true,” Brendan smirked, keeping his hands tucked behind his head, watching as Ste leant over him to the bedside table to flick the bedside lamp on and fetch lube, keeping Brendan’s cock in hand the whole while; Ste first released Brendan’s prick so he could squeeze the slightly runny gel onto the fingers of his other hand, tucking them behind himself and following the crack of his ass. He squirted a blob of cold lube on the tip of Brendan’s cock, making him jerk in surprise as Ste tossed the bottle aside and smoothed the clear gel down Brendan’s cock with his hand, slicking it and making the hand job a lot easier.

“Aright, you just lie there then,” Ste panted sarcastically as his gentle massage of his asshole paid off and his fingertip pushed in with mild resistance, his other hand working Brendan’s cock slowly, thumbing the slit before sliding down the shaft and repeating the gesture.

“I think I will,” Brendan grunted, alternating between watching Ste’s hand on his cock and the expression on his face as he pushed his finger further in and started fucking himself with a single digit. Brendan kept his hands tucked behind his head the whole while, letting Ste do all the work, not even complaining when Ste stopped jerking him off to press his lube-slicked palm to Brendan’s stomach for balance.

Ste withdrew his finger after a few more thrusts, pushing a second finger in alongside it and fucking himself a little faster this time, he closed his eyes, panting and moaning softly as his asshole stretched around his wet fingers, preparing himself for Brendan’s cock. He soon added a third and was trying not to moan too loud, biting his lip and peering down through his lashes at Brendan, who still looked relaxed and thrilled to have Ste astride him like this.

“Ready?” Brendan asked, tilting his head to the side slightly as he met Ste’s gaze,

“Mhm,” Ste hummed, withdrawing his fingers and crawling a little further up Brendan’s body,

“Condom?” Brendan suggested,

“After yesterday? Really?” Ste asked, cocking an eyebrow, Brendan just gave a slight shrug,

“Thought I’d offer, I’m a gentleman like—“ he was cut off by Ste taking his dick in hand and guiding it into his awaiting asshole, seating himself to the root in a heartbeat, Ste letting out a soft little grunt at the full feeling. He sat resting his hands on Brendan’s chest as he tried to catch the breath that had abandoned him, looking down at Brendan and panting, lips curving into a seductive little smile, as if he needed it at this point. Brendan looked stunned, slack jawed and openly awed by the teen astride him, his dick giving a twitch that Ste felt, “Christ…” Brendan let out,

“Shut up and enjoy it,” Ste chuckled, Brendan doing exactly that as Ste lifted himself from Brendan’s cock so only the tip was inside before seating himself again, slowly building up a steady rhythm and enjoying the way his asshole was stretched around Brendan’s cock, the way the muscles in his thighs began to burn with every movement, all pains that ebbed away to pleasure as he continued, rocking back and forth on Brendan’s cock and moaning softly, mouth hanging open as he failed to muffle himself. Brendan wasn’t exactly quiet either, his hands had finally slipped from behind his head, bracing themselves on Ste’s thighs as he praised him and moaned his appreciation for the expert riding of his dick right then and there.

 

Any hope of this being a quiet fuck was thrown out the window, Ste couldn’t keep his mouth shut without a hand over or in it, and his hands were preoccupied keeping him upright, and Brendan wasn’t making any moves to muffle him either. His arms gave a little and he was hunched over Brendan, starting to sweat and lose his composure, his moans barely forming as he found the perfect angle that had Brendan’s cock rubbing against his prostate every couple of strokes.

“God Brendan,” he hissed through his teeth, “oh fuck me, fuck me,” he chanted softly, words stuttered every so often as those nerves inside him were lit up with friction; his dick was upright, t-shirt hanging over it as it rubbed at the crease of his belly whilst he fucked himself on Brendan’s cock, smearing a circle of precum on his skin with every shift and rotation of his hips.

“Christ Steven you’re gonna kill me,” Brendan chuckled between desperate breaths, planting his feet on the bed and pushing up to meet Ste’s motions as Ste grew erratic and uneven, though Brendan’s thrusting wasn’t much better, fucking him as deep and hard as he could in that position. It was enough though, “Fuck,” Brendan hissed, releasing Ste’s hips in order to grab his face and crash their mouths together, it hurt Ste’s nose on impact but he kissed Brendan breathlessly and as desperately as Brendan kissed _him_ , no longer needing to support himself as much, so he tucked a hand between them and jerked his cock quicker than the pace of their fucking, desperate to come with Brendan’s cock inside him.

He bit at Brendan’s lip as he gave his dick that last few strokes, creaming his fist and the inside of his t-shirt, releasing Brendan’s lip to moan open mouthed against his skin, whimpering his name,

“Shit, _Steven_ ,” Brendan hissed, hands tight in Ste’s short hair, hips shoving up hard enough that Ste’s knees slid on the bed before pushing himself back down on Brendan’s cock, body trembling and vibrating with the aftershocks of his orgasm, smiling against Brendan’s jaw as he felt Brendan’s cum trickle and drip from his asshole on the final withdraw of Brendan’s cock. Ste moved on shaky legs to the bed beside him, half-collapsing and letting out a delighted little sigh,

“That was mint,” he hummed,

“Get a cloth,” Brendan ordered, tucking his hands back behind his head and smirking at Ste,

“Wot?” Ste gasped, still out of breath,

“Leaving you to all the work remember?” Brendan panted, offering a wink when Ste narrowed his eyes at him.

“Tch, fine,” Ste huffed, climbing over Brendan, making sure to sit on Brendan’s stomach on his way over, just to leave a smear of cum on his skin before standing and glancing at the bathroom door, noticing the bedroom door was wide open and feeling his cheeks burn up, “The door is open”

“Oops…” Brendan didn’t sound like he cared, “Hurry up Steven,” he dismissed Ste’s concern and Ste let out a huff before removing his t-shirt, tossing it on the floor and padding to the bathroom, pushing the bedroom door closed on his way past. He grabbed a small square towel and wet it, cleaning himself off in the bathroom with warm water before rinsing it and wetting it again with colder water this time, tossing it at Brendan when he returned and flopped into bed, cocooning himself in the duvet before Brendan could retaliate. “You little shite, Jesus that’s cold,” Brendan hissed, but he was smiling when Ste glanced over at him with a shit eating grin,

“Oops,” he said before sticking his tongue out at Brendan and watching him clean up and dump the wet towel on the bedside table next to the lube Brendan had obviously moved. He waited a few seconds before tossing some duvet over Brendan and snuggling close, resting his cheek on his shoulder and looking at his profile, highlighted by the lamp, “I love you,” he said quietly. He still didn’t expect a twinned response, he wasn’t naïve, Brendan had a few too many hang-ups left to get past before he’d share that one, but Ste knew he cared, had an inkling that he loved him too, so it was okay. He watched as Brendan reached out to his side, head turning to face Ste and kiss him lightly before he turned the lamp off,

“Goodnight Steven.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the warm welcome back, enjoy the chapter!!

Ste awoke curled up against Brendan’s side, the pair of them naked and warm under the covers, he’d missed this _so_ much, he never wanted to leave Brendan’s arms, but he figured he’d have to at some point. He gave a little sigh at the thought, smiling soon after when Brendan’s arm tightened around him protectively,

“Mmh…” Brendan grunted slightly and turned his head towards Ste, pursing his lips slightly and keeping his eyes closed, Ste knew what he wanted, shifting to press a light kiss to Brendan’s lips before settling back against his shoulder,

“Mornin’,” Ste greeted as Brendan slowly blinked awake,

“Time is it?” Brendan asked, Ste shrugged before looking the other way, squinting at the digital clock on his bedside table,

“Almost 9,” he read off, soon trying to stretch and yawn without moving out of the comfortable imprint of heat he’d made on the bed and against Brendan’s side. He wasn’t very successful but he slung an arm and a leg over Brendan and snuggled even closer to make up for it afterwards,

“Ugh…” Brendan groaned,

“9 is a lie in, especially for you Mr Exercises at 5am,” Ste giggled, he hated himself for it, thought it was an ugly donkey sounding giggle, but it made Brendan smile and the arm around him shifted ever so slightly, hand coming up to brush fingers against Ste’s cheek.

“That’s what the ugh was for,” Brendan smirked, fingers tracing the line of Ste’s hair,

“Not that you need any extra exercise after last night,” Ste chuckled, too tired to stop his laugh from catching him out,

“I think you’ll find you’re the one who did all the exercise,” Brendan teased, fingers trailing down Ste’s neck, over his shoulder and down the side of his body to the curve of his hip, following the dip of Ste’s flank, down to his crack.

“Up for round two aye?” Ste chuckled, shifting to straddle Brendan again, hands coming to rest on his chest for support, Ste smirked down at Brendan, leaning to kiss him and rolling his hips to work up a nice bit of friction for them both, Brendan’s cock resting along his crack, though the door clicked open behind him and he sat up quickly,

“Fuck I shoulda knocked sorry!” Declan balked and the door slammed quickly,

“Oh my god,” Ste buried his face in the hair on Brendan’s chest, not for the feel of it, as nice as it was, but out of sheer embarrassment, once again Declan had seen them naked together, because the sheets were pushed down far enough for him to at least see _some_ of his dad’s cock in the vicinity of Ste’s ass. “Oh my god not again,”

“Forget it,” Brendan shrugged, lifting his hands to Ste’s hips and rounding his ass, fingertips brushing along the sides of his own cock as he stroked down Ste’s crack, intending to go ahead with the morning sex regardless.

“Bren, Declan just…” Ste said slowly, gasping when Brendan’s fingers found his asshole and circling it,

“Left, he left, he won’t come back in,” Brendan assured him, eyes half lidded, as if he was barely awake as he continued tracing a finger around Ste’s asshole.

“You’re ridiculous,” Ste gasped, Brendan’s finger was dry but his asshole gave in to the gentle pressure and allowed it entry to the first knuckle, making Ste keen softly,

“I’m horny,” Brendan corrected, his other hand leaving Ste’s flank to grab the lube from the side table, squirting it at the height of Ste’s ass, letting it track a wet trail down his crack and sliding around Brendan’s finger, which withdrew long enough to coat in lube before pushing back into Ste.

“God Bren…” Ste panted, curling his fingers against Brendan’s chest, cheek still pressed to his sternum, he wouldn’t have been able to sit up if he’d tried, “You’re the worst…”

“Weren’t sayin’ that last night… or at the club…” Brendan hummed, the slow push pull of his finger was torture to Ste, it was not enough friction and not enough finger for him to feel anything other than achingly horny, he could feel his dick hard and touching his stomach from the way he was knelt, back arched and covering very little of Brendan’s body given that he was seated on his hips and his face was on Brendan’s broad chest.

“More, please,” he moaned, voice quiet and broken from the guttural noise that distorted his words, smoothing himself up Brendan’s body to bury his face against his throat instead, “please Brendan,” he puffed out. He felt so needy, but he didn’t care when a second finger pushed into his asshole, filling him just that little bit more, it wasn’t enough but _god_ was it an improvement, “please,” he gasped, whimpering further pleas for more, begging Brendan but not asking him to hurry. Something in him didn’t _want_ this over quickly, and when Brendan stretched him open on three fingers, he had to tell him what he wanted, worried his chance for it would pass. “Go slow…” he whispered, “like before,” he pleaded, mouthing at Brendan’s jaw, slotting their mouths together when Brendan looked at him, “fuck me slowly,” _make love to me_ , he didn’t say it out loud, couldn’t bring himself to run that risk, not when Brendan rolled them over and pinned him to the bed.

 

Brendan’s fingers withdrew and he rested the head of his cock against the soft skin between Ste’s balls and wet asshole, easing it down over the stretched rim, touching and rubbing and smearing precum before he rediscovered his mark and gave a slow, careful push, capturing Ste’s lips in a kiss to compliment the feel of his cock slowly sinking into Ste. Ste moaned into Brendan’s mouth, feeling the agonisingly slow stretch of Brendan filling him, hips soon flush against Ste’s ass,

“God Bren,” he gasped as their lips parted, as much as he’d wanted this, he was starting to get that overwhelming flutter deep in his gut and he didn’t want to get emotional and scare Brendan off.  
“Steven,” Brendan countered, mouthing his jaw, dragging rough morning stubble and soft moustache hair against his skin, reddening it and heightening the sensitivity there as he gave his hips an experimental roll. The movement elicited a gasp from Ste, who clung to Brendan just right so he could slip a few fingers into his own mouth to muffle the moans he knew would plague him soon enough. Brendan braced his forearm on the bed, lifting himself higher and digging his fingers into Ste’s hips, holding the lithe teen off the bed like it was nothing as he started to fuck him slow and deep, kissing skin and smirking as Ste’s moans broke out past his fingers.

Ste could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as he relished the loving attention and deliberate push of hips, he was part in the here and now, but another part of his mind went back to when he’d first told Brendan he loved him, because this felt the same, the way Brendan was fucking him was different, but god it _felt the same_.

“I love you,” Ste blurted out, Brendan kissed his jaw before shifting to look down at him,

“shhh,” he whispered before sealing Ste’s mouth with his own, swallowing any further declaration the teen wanted to dole out. Ste tried to tell him with his reciprocation instead, giving just as good as he got both orally and with the push and twist of his hips, wrapping his legs around Brendan and locking his ankles together to keep pushing down onto his prick. With his hand free from his mouth, Ste moved his spit covered fingers to grab his cock between them, jerking off in time with Brendan’s thrusts, smiling stupidly into his mouth as they kissed and did their best to consume each other.

“Brendan,” he gasped when their lips parted briefly, “I…”

“Shhh,” Brendan hushed again, “Just feel it,” he urged, and now with Ste’s legs around him he could let go of Ste’s bruised hip, touching a lube slick finger to Ste’s lips briefly before resting his forearms on the bed. Ste nodded and Brendan’s pace increased, growing more desperate for their bodies to be deeply connected, not quite hammering Ste but stimulating every fired up nerve ending in Ste’s body; he let his head fall back and panted open mouthed, grunting with every touch of Brendan’s hips on his ass and deep slide of cock within him. He quickened his hand and outdid Brendan’s pace, letting out an embarrassing little keen as he creamed his fist and their stomachs, Brendan took that as his cue to finish quickly, snapping his hips forward and fucking Ste hard and fast, letting out a guttural chuckle of a sound as Ste let out grunted ‘oh’s with each slap of skin on skin.

 

It felt amazing but Ste was fucked out right then and there, sagging on the bed with his legs still around Brendan, letting out soft grunts and trying to force himself not to overthink Brendan’s sudden need to fuck him hard. He felt Brendan’s nose nudging at his cheek and turned his head upward, hadn’t realised he’d turned to the side until then, Brendan crushed their mouths together and bit at his bottom lip, hips stuttering flush against Ste’s ass as he loaded him with cum. Brendan’s harsh crash of lips soon softened, Ste lazily bringing his hands up to hold Brendan’s face as they kissed, his hips slowing and soon pulling back enough to withdraw his cock when Ste’s legs slipped loose and he relaxed on the bed. Brendan soon held Ste’s face the same way, turning the soft make out into a scattering of tiny kisses, starting on his lips before straying and littering them across jaw, cheekbones, eyelids, nose, soon returning to Ste’s mouth to claim it once more, Ste was giggling though, so the last kiss never blossomed.

Ste looked up at Brendan, grinning broadly and still letting out breathless little laughs, “What were that?” he asked, Brendan shrugged and touched their foreheads together,

“Does it matter?” he exhaled, sounding like he’d given up somewhere along the line.

“Not really… it was well cute,” Ste gave a giggle that devolved into his embarrassing donkey haw when Brendan crinkled his nose in disgust at being called cute, “Your face,” he gasped, earning a low growl that sobered his expression to something more fitting of two naked men in bed together. He gave a sly smirk and wormed his way out from beneath Brendan, standing from the bed and stretching, blushing when he felt cum trickle down his inner thighs.

“Where you off to?” Brendan growled, lying on his side and propping his head in his palm,

“Shower,” Ste offered over his shoulder as he stood in the bathroom doorway,

“Come back to bed,” he insisted,

“Deccy’s downstairs,” Ste pointed out, trying not to dwell on the fact that Declan was probably expecting an apology or excuse from the pair of them, not for them to fuck, shower, _then_ come see if he was scarred for life.

“Mmh…” Brendan groaned, rubbing his face before rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling,

“You comin’ or what?” Ste asked, Brendan looking over with a frown that soon melted into a sultry smirk as he climbed out of bed and followed after Ste. Ste couldn’t help but test him, sticking his butt out slightly as he leant on the doorframe to the bathroom, biting his lip and letting out a delighted little growl when a palm met his flesh in a quick, sharp slap that seemed to echo in the room.

 

They were acting like idiots when they finally made it downstairs, flirting and shoving and Ste was braying like a donkey again, glowing from his shower and their swapped blowjobs under the spray,

“Well I was gonna apologise for walkin’ in on yous but you didn’t show,” Declan grumbled from the sitting area, Ste looked over with concern whilst Brendan just headed for the kitchen,

“Got distracted,” Brendan grunted,

“Yeah I figured as much, I wasn’t sure though cause I couldn’t hear Ste wailing like a cat in heat,” he huffed, “Honestly don’t know how you kept it from me if that’s what he’s like with you,” Ste was beet red, in part because of Declan’s jabs, which _hurt_ , and in part because he was petrified Brendan would pick up on the ‘with you’ and realise Declan had slept with him.

“What can I say, I know how to please a lover,” Brendan drawled, and Ste wanted to hit him, not hard, just enough for him to rethink the abysmal amount of _tact_ he was using right now. Declan bristled at the comment though,

“You sure? Sounded like you were rapin’ him,” he scowled and Ste just stopped functioning then, staring in wide eyed confusion at his best friend, unable to believe something like that would come out of his mouth, _especially_ aimed at _him_.

“Shut your _fucking_ mouth Declan,” Brendan snapped, turning to point in warning at his son,

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that, god that was _awful_!” Declan balked, the colour draining from his face as he realised what he’d said, “I don’t think you were… I… I didn’t mean that… that was… god I’m sorry…” he shrank into himself and turned away, hoping Brendan would drop it.

“I ought to send you back to your mother for that, Christ,” Brendan threatened, Ste snapped into action then,

“Bren ain’t you got something you can be doing?” he asked, turning on his heel to see Brendan round the counter,

“Like clipping my son around the ear?” Brendan suggested,

“No!” Ste barked, moving to push his hands to Brendan’s chest, “How is that gonna help? Let me talk to him,”

“He’s upset you Steven,” Brendan pointed out, Ste wiped his face quickly,  
“Yer but come _on_ , this can’t be an easy thing to go through,” he tried, pushing Brendan gently, relieved when Brendan stepped back and threw his hands up in defeat, turning away and returning to the kitchenette to grab his coffee before storming from the room. “Bren,” Ste sighed, not thrilled that Brendan was acting like the child, rather than the parent, leaving him to act like a mature adult, which he absolutely wasn’t ready for. It didn’t help that it felt like he was being step-dad-y towards Declan, Declan was _older_ than him, yet here he was, awkwardly sitting next to him like he was the disliked step-dad telling the kid he wasn’t trying to replace anyone.

“Dec…”

“I didn’t mean to say that, you know I don’t say shit like that,” Declan interrupted quickly, “It’s stupid shit I used to say on COD, I’m not 12 I don’t know why I said that,” Declan looked near tears, distraught that he’d said such things,

“I know,” he sighed, befriending him and Amy had all but curbed that sort of thing from Declan’s vocabulary, given how much they played games with him. “What was all that about? I thought you was alright with everything,”

“I’m tryin’ to be,” Declan mumbled,

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s hard right, I thought it’d be easy, I thought I’d be okay with it, you’re happy, da’s happy, that’s good right? But seeing you two together, _hearing_ it? It’s just… it’s… I don’t know…” he sighed, hands balled into fists,

“Is it cause of how you felt about me?” Ste hazarded with a whisper, earning a dirty look from Declan,

“ _Feel_ , and no… I don’t know… maybe?” he let out a massive sigh and Ste glanced at his hands, seeing how his knuckles had whitened in his frustration, “I feel like he’s mocking me,” he admitted, “like he’s rubbin’ it in that he can have you and I can’t…” Ste paled as he said it, uncomfortable that Declan still had feelings for him, even though he knew feelings didn’t just go away because you were rejected, “You didn’t tell him did you?” Declan asked,

“No! Course I didn’t! The last thing I need him know is that I fucked _you_ ,” Ste balked, cringing when he realised how he had said it,

“Oh gee, thanks Ste, you seemed to enjoy it at the time, though I’m doubting it _now_ given how you were last night,” Declan huffed, Ste wanted to be angry at the bitterness but he understood too and felt downright ashamed of himself for forgetting to be quiet,

“I’m sorry, right? Stop harpin’ on about last night, we was loud, we didn’t mean to be it just sort of _happened_ , it’s not like we made you watch or sommat,” he exclaimed, Declan blushed and looked away, “I didn’t tell him we… slept together,” he quietened to a whisper, glancing at the door because he didn’t know _where_ exactly Brendan had gone,  
“Well he _knows_ ,” Declan pointed out, “he wouldn’t be actin’ like that if he didn’t,”

“How do you know?”

“Cause nothin’ he’s ever said has felt like a personal attack til _that_ ,” he gestured lamely and Ste buried his face in his hands, he couldn’t deal with a pissing contest between father and son, it was dumb and childish.

“I’ll talk to him,” Ste sighed,

“Will you?” Declan sounded incredulous,

“Yeah, course I will, I don’t like you two fightin’,” Declan’s shoulder bumped his and he looked up to see the other lad smiling,

“I’ll work on it too, cause it’s not just him being a dick,” he smiled, Ste smiling back,

“You are bein’ a bit of a nob,” he said cheekily, sticking his tongue out when Declan elbowed him,

“Well if you didn’t have an uncontrollable fetish for the Irish, we wouldn’t be in this mess,” Declan jabbed,

“I do not have a fetish!” Ste protested,

“How many people you slept with Ste? How many were Irish?” Declan asked with a raised eyebrow, giving Ste a look that reminded him too much of Brendan,

“Shurrup,” he blushed, “I’m gonna go find out where grumpy got to,”

“Should I go put my headphones on?” Declan asked,

“Why?” he frowned, confused,

“I dunno, you might wanna try an’ cheer him up or something, I don’t wanna hear it,” Declan teased, showing it was light-hearted this time, but it was no less embarrassing,

“Shut _up_ ,” Ste groaned.

 

He searched the whole house before a glance out the window showed Brendan sat outside in the garden, coffee in one hand, freshly delivered newspaper in the other, a phone tucked between his ear and shoulder. Ste headed outside, he’d not really been in the back garden, he took in the high hedges that surrounded it, neat and trimmed despite Ste never having seen Brendan do garden work, or anyone else for that matter; the patio had an expensive looking set of garden furniture on it, which Brendan was currently occupying.

“Hiya,” he greeted, half a whisper as he rounded to Brendan’s line of sight and waved, Brendan gestured a couple of fingers and a newspaper at him in greeting,

“I gotta go, don’t call me,” Brendan uttered quickly before hanging up and shoving the phone in his pocket, “Steven,” he greeted coolly, “Am I alright sitting here or should I take up the naughty step?” he asked, gesturing at where the concrete steps led from the patio to what Ste suspected was probably fake grass, Ste rolled his eyes at the question and plonked himself down on the chair nearest Brendan.

“You’re an arsehole,” Ste griped, looking down at his hand when Brendan’s fingers started drumming on his knuckles,

“You sure about that Steven?” he asked, taking Ste’s hand and urging him to his feet, guiding him across the gap between them before moving his hands to Ste’s hips and guiding him onto his lap.

“Yer, you gotta do more than that to convince us,” he smirked, he didn’t mean to be doing exactly what Declan had made fun of him for, but Brendan was irresistible and he just… goaded Ste into this sort of thing with his eyes and hands and the way his tongue was just visible, pushing against his teeth as his mouth opened slightly.

“Oh yeah?” Brendan clicked his tongue lightly, hands stroking Ste’s hips, smoothing around to his ass and groping him, “like this?” he asked, grinding Ste down against him, Ste could feel Brendan’s thick cock pushing up against his tracksuit bottoms, rubbing against his own prick, which began to harden in response,

“Mmm… maybe…” Ste shrugged innocently, giving a subtle roll of his hips, but Brendan noticed and exaggerated it with his hands, eliciting a soft moan from Ste, “not here Bren,”

“Yes here,” Brendan purred, pressing a kiss to a sliver of exposed collarbone, licking and sucking at the skin,

“Bren what’re you even trying to do?” Ste giggled, Brendan’s moustache was tickling his skin and the sucking pinched his skin.

“Nothin’,” Brendan chuckled against his throat, “prove a point mainly,”

“Oh yer? What point’s that?” Ste asked, thinking it would be something sexy, a line to get them both in the mood,

“That you’re mine,” the humour had left Brendan’s voice and he licked at the bruise forming on the sharp bone at Ste’s collar, he quietly prayed that the mark wouldn’t be visible past his uniform on Monday. Something about the way Brendan’s fingers dug into his flank and his teeth grazed Ste’s throat roused concern in him though, possessive and dangerous and backing up Declan’s concerns about Brendan trying to rub his nose in their relationship.

 

“Brendan…” Ste hazarded nervously, wanting Brendan to stop kissing his collar so they could talk about this, “Brendan stop it,” he sighed, pushing at Brendan despite his body not wanting this to stop. Brendan relented, moving his mouth to Ste’s neck, just resting his face there and inhaling Ste’s scent. “You know don’t you? That I slept with Declan,” he closed his eyes as he said it, hating having to bring this up now, but he wanted Brendan to stop competing with Declan, so he had to say it.

“Mhm…” Brendan mouthed at his neck some more, stopping when Ste shifted back a little,

“How… when?” Ste asked, starting to feel emotional,

“I’ve been around a bit Steven, I know what sloppy seconds feels like,” Brendan dismissed, seeming more interested in feeling Ste up again, slipping his hands down the back of Ste’s jogging bottoms, which clearly belonged to Brendan.

“I weren’t… It weren’t _sloppy seconds_!” Ste blushed furiously, not liking being referred to like that,

“My son stuck his dick in you and you hopped into bed with me before you tightened up, that’s sloppy seconds,” Ste stood then, thumping Brendan’s shoulder as hard as he could manage without propelling himself back onto his ass on the brickwork. “Steven!” Brendan looked shocked,

“Fuck off, fuck right off Brendan,” Ste snapped, “You were bein’ a right prick, you treated me like I was a quick fuck you never wanted to see again, I was _hurt_ ,”

“So you slept with my son?!” Brendan stood then, not quite raising his voice, and Ste cowered briefly before puffing himself up,

“No, I slept with _my best friend_ ,” he corrected, “Cause he was there to make me feel like someone actually _cared_ about me while you were off being a nob cause _Eoghan_ got you paranoid,”

“Para… he _called me a paedophile_ ,” Brendan lowered his voice then, hissed the word because it was so terrible a thing to him,

“Well first off, he _didn’t_ , I were there, and even if he did, he’d be wrong,” Ste scoffed, “I looked it up, even if it weren’t just me, if it were lads my age, it would be… effe… e… it’s like two above paedophilia it’s for fifteen to nineteen year olds or sommat,” his argument sort of fell flat when he fumbled the word, Brendan’s apparent anger gave way to fond amusement as Ste fell silent and grew embarrassed,

“C’mere,” he beckoned, hooking his fingers into Ste’s collar when he nervously stepped forward, “idiot,” he chuckled, Ste gave a scowl, held it as Brendan’s hands cupped his cheeks and drew him close, kissing him lightly.

“Don’t you mean ‘sloppy seconds’?” Ste huffed, still sore about being called that,

“You can’t blame me for being a bit jealous,” Brendan pressed a light kiss to Ste’s lips

“I can blame you for havin’ a dick measuring contest with your own son though,” Ste pointed out, “Pack it in or I’ll go home,”

“Like you can resist this,” Brendan stepped back and gestured at himself,

“You’re ridiculous,” Ste scoffed, he should still be mad at Brendan, but he was giving him a knowing smile and stroking the bruise on his collarbone like he owned it,

“But not an arsehole?” Brendan smirked,

“Still a bit of an arsehole… _god_ ,” Ste gritted out, easing from Brendan’s grasp and heading inside.

 

Brendan’s affections were toned down with company as the weekend progressed, though as far as Ste could tell, he hadn’t actually apologised to Declan, but at least they weren’t both making really shitty comments at each other anymore. Brendan kept getting calls from that number and it was bothering Ste, but he never asked and Brendan never told him of his own accord, but he did come to Ste after one phone call, not from that number, and sat him down.

“Oh god what is it?” Ste asked, trepidation gripping him,

“You’re coming here after school on Monday, I’ve heard about your tests,”

“What about them?” Ste asked, he’d _told_ Brendan about the tests,

“The results, I told you I knew a girl, didn’t I? Ash?” he tried, but Ste was clueless,

“Don’t think you mentioned an Ash…” he shrugged,

“She read your essays, told me you might be dyslexic?” Brendan offered, sitting down next to Ste and slinging an arm around his shoulders, “Nothin’?” Ste shook his head, “Well she’s pulled a few strings to be your aid, wants to get to know you better after school,” he explained,

“So I’m…” Ste trailed off, trying to process the news, it hit him pretty hard, he didn’t really know how he felt though, a mixture of relief and disappointment that had him leaning on Brendan and huffing quietly,

“Yeah… sorry… you upset?” Brendan asked,

“Not really…” he sighed, “Sort of just… accepting it…”

“Well that’s good, isn’t it?” Brendan asked with a frown,

“I guess… I dunno…” he felt a bit mopey now, drawing his knees up to his chest and curling up against Brendan’s side,

“Cheer up kid, it’s not the end of the world,” Brendan offered with a smile, kissing the top of Ste’s head and holding him closer.

“Does Dec know?” Ste asked, Declan was upstairs doing homework for a class Ste wasn’t in,

“Why would I tell Dec before I told you?” Brendan asked,

“Dunno…” he shrugged, “I’ll tell him later,” Ste mumbled,

“You know you don’t have to tell him everything, right?” Brendan laughed,

“He’ll worry if I don’t,” Ste pointed out, smiling as he thought about how protective Declan could be, it was something he and his dad seemed to have in common, not necessarily just towards Ste, but it was nice that it was directed at him a lot. “Is she nice? Ash?”

“She’s… yeah… nice… smart kid too,” he answered,

“Kid?” it didn’t worry Ste if she was young, he just wanted someone who could help him,

“19, 20 maybe? Knows her stuff though,” Brendan shrugged, “she’s got the training, just needs the experience, but if things don’t work out, I’ll find you the best,” Brendan promised, kissing Ste’s head again before moving a hand to push Ste’s fringe aside.

“You two are sickly,” Declan yawned as he sauntered in,

“Evening Deccy,” Brendan greeted, “To what to we owe this pleasure?”

“Alien marathon is on, we’re gonna watch it,” Declan shrugged, plonking himself down on Ste’s other side, a small gap between them, and grabbing the remote.

“What if we don’t want to watch it?” Brendan asked, Ste sort of wanted to though, he loved those films,

“Well then you two can go to bed and I’ll put the volume on full,” Declan jabbed with a weary smile,

“None of that,” Brendan chastised, “we don’t need another upset,” he warned,

“Sorry… force of habit…” Declan shrugged,

“Pause it, I need a piss,” Ste pushed from his seat and stretched with a groan,

“Get us a beer on the way back would you?” Brendan asked,

“Get me one too,” Declan tried,

“You’ve got school tomorrow, neither of you are drinking,” Brendan warned,

“Aright,” Ste agreed easily, he felt too tense, he already knew the outcome yet he was still nervous about the inevitable withdrawal from his classes tomorrow. He tried to push the feeling of impending doom aside, he didn’t need it, he was overreacting, he could just sit back, watch some great movies with Brendan and Declan, and deal with the whole dyslexia thing in the morning, it wasn’t like it affected his ability to sit and chill with his boyfriend.

 

The next day passed in a blur, he spent half of it out of class getting to know his aid, Ash, she was mysterious and dark looking, but she was easy to talk to and really got how to help Ste with his work and get him around difficulties. Amy and Declan liked her well enough and she even gave Ste a lift home, since Declan was being picked up by his mum and Ste didn’t fancy going to Brendan’s any more, since he’d gotten to know Ash at school, and he’d not _actually_ told his parents where he was over the weekend.

“Thanks Ash, it were nice meeting you,” he waved as he adjusted his backpack over one shoulder,

“You too Ste, you sure you don’t want help with your homework?” she asked,

“I think we can sort certain days or sommat, I just want to chill, it’s been a long day,” he admitted, learning so much about his dyslexia was confusing and tiring,

“Alright, see you,” Ash called out, soon driving away and leaving Ste to head inside.

“So, the prodigal son returns,” Terry remarked from the living room, “Where you been?” he asked,

“At a mate’s, can I talk to yous?” Ste asked as he walked into the living room, sitting down on the old armchair and fidgeting nervously, Terry narrowed his eyes at him but didn’t say anything. “I uh… I’m dyslexic…” Ste admitted, it felt like he was coming out, only he was less likely to get battered for this,

“You’re what?”

“Dyslexic… it means I can’t spell or read well… words are hard for me,” he sighed, looking at the ground,

“Here was me just thinking you were thick…” Terry remarked, and Ste’s mum did nothing to stop the insult,

“Yer well… I’m not, they think I’m smart actually, just struggling because of my dyslexia… I’ve got an aid now, her name’s Ash and she’s allowed to sit my exams with me,” he was smiling then,

“Her aye? She pretty? Think you’re going to get a different kind of aid from her?” Terry joked with a lecherous look and Ste blushed,

“Dunno, she’s pretty, older than me though,” he excused lamely, hoping Terry wouldn’t press the issue.

“So this mate, which one was it? Amy?”

“Yeah…” Ste lied, there was no way in hell he was going to say it was Declan, not after Brendan had hit Terry, he didn’t want to antagonise the situation. “Were well nice of her parents lettin’ me stop over,”

“Was nice of you to ask us first,” Terry bit out,

“Sorry, weren’t thinking, got an invite, got dragged over,” he shrugged, which was true even though he’d had some warning prior to the actual dragging.

“Well next time, ask, could belt you for that,” he muttered, turning his attention back to his recorded football, Ste felt terror seep through him at the threat, Terry hadn’t so much as hinted at threats since he’d come home, “I won’t, course, cause I’m nice like that,” Terry had noticed his fear, giving him a sarcastic comment and a smarmy grimace,

“Course you are,” Ste agreed, maybe too enthusiastically, “you’d never hit me,” he’d done this before, pretended that Terry hadn’t laid a finger on him, usually it’d work,

“Don’t be cute Ste,” Terry’s expression soured and Ste flushed pink, knowing he’d messed up,  
“I’ve got homework,” he lied,

“Make your own dinner tonight,” Terry answered, “now bugger off before I miss a goal,” he dismissed and Ste cast a glance to his mother, watching her slurp from a can of lager, eyes unfocussed as she stared down at the open magazine in her lap, ignoring the world around her.

“Okay,” he conceded quietly, ducking from the room and making a mad dash upstairs, worried about the thinly veiled hostility that he’d invited by not telling his parents he wasn’t going to be home over the weekend, wondering how much it’d take for Terry to snap, or if Brendan’s threat still had a firm grasp of him.

 

The threats seemed idle in the end, or at least Terry hadn’t followed through on them in the weeks leading up to Ste’s exams, he was still in one piece, unbruised aside from Brendan’s bites on the insides of his thighs, and the one on his collarbone he could barely remember not having, Brendan was so obsessed with keeping it fresh. He felt at ease for once, he felt prepared for his exams, things were great between Declan and his dad, Amy was spending a bit more time with him outside of school, her and Declan would accompany him to Brendan’s club when it was closed, drinking soft drinks and being entertained with Mitzeee’s embarrassing stories about Brendan. Things felt good, even on the nights he couldn’t see Brendan, where he was stuck at home with his parents, in a tradition of ignoring each other as much as possible.

This time Ste was texting away, smiling to himself as he sat huddled up in the living room, barely paying attention to the film that Terry and his mum were watching; Brendan had the evening off and Declan was with his mum, which meant Brendan had claimed he was fresh out of the shower, chilling on his bed in just his boxers. Ste had questioned it immediately and been rewarded with a selfie, he glanced around to make sure his parents weren’t looking over before he started grinning to himself and drew his feet up onto the chair, glad he’d opted to bundle up in a blanket, because even on his small screen seeing Brendan lounged back and almost naked had him half-mast.

 _‘God u r well fit’_ Ste texted with a smile, he’d stopped signing off on his texts to Brendan, it was added effort, especially when half the time he was jerking off at the same time,

 _‘Thanks, is this a trade or a gift?’_ was Brendan’s response, and as much as Ste wanted to show Brendan how happy he was to get such a photo, he couldn’t,

 _‘Down stairs wiv the fam :C’_ he sent, smirk faltering at the thought, _‘cnt get away jst yet’_ he added, feeling disheartened by the limitations, he loved fucking about with Brendan, it was especially hot when they weren’t together and there was a risk of being caught jerking off over an older man.

_‘Well isn’t that just a damned shame…’_

_‘Yeh Well. Obligatory fam garbage innit?’_ he sent with a small smile,

‘ _Obligatory? Big word, you even know what that means?’_ Ste scoffed at the jab, he’d explicitly told Brendan he was okay with the dyslexia jokes, since Brendan usually followed them with a soppy look and a ‘proud of you’ smile,

_‘means I gotta do it, like school n shit’ he thumbed in,_

_‘Clever boy’_

_‘shurrup u love it wen I use big words ;)’_

_‘absolutely, you using the English language properly always gets me hard. So hot…’_ he was pulling Ste’s leg, obviously, causing him to roll his eyes, but it was amusing anyway, and Ste had an idea brewing. He may not have been able to jerk off or reciprocate photos, but he could absolutely work Brendan to a frenzy,

‘ _U no wot’d b hot? Me between ur legs ;)’_ he sent, licking his lips at the thought of what he’d do if he was there with Brendan.

 _‘Oh yeah? Doing what?’_ Ste glanced at his parents after he read it, he felt so naughty doing this with them right there, biting his lip and thumbing his response,

 _‘Playin with ur cock, kissin n lickin n getting my mouth all over it’_ he typed, struggling not to squirm in his seat, hoping Brendan would tell him or show him his reaction.

 _‘Christ Steven I’d kill to have you sucking my cock right now,’_ Ste was half tempted to send back ‘well you know where my parents are’, but he resisted in favour of trying to goad Brendan into jerking off for him,

 _‘Gonner have 2 settle 4 ur hand ;)’_ he sent, waiting with baited breath, he wasn’t disappointed when an image loading icon popped up, soon showing Brendan’s grey boxers, tented, his wrist cut off at the waistband, showing his dick wasn’t the only thing raising the fabric. Ste send a quick _‘tease’_ and a few moments after a _video_ sent through, Ste muted his phone just in case, hitting play and feeling his cheeks heat up as Brendan gave him a raised eyebrow before turning the phone to his crotch, withdrawing his hand, still fisted around his cock, using his wrist to shove the fabric down so he could jerk his cock a few times.

 _‘That better? Know exactly what I’m doing, now tell me what you’d be doing,’_ Ste could practically hear the authoritative tone Brendan would’ve had if they were on the phone together, curling his toes a little and squirming at the thought of Brendan jacking his cock, tempted to watch the last few seconds of that video until he creamed himself, but he had a man to satisfy, he’d get off just the same.

 _‘I’d b jackin u off’_ he quickly thumbed in his exact thoughts, how he’d pump Brendan’s cock, easing his foreskin back before taking the tip into his mouth and sucking lightly, tracing his tongue along the ridge of the head, soon sinking down further with his tongue flat on the underside. He sent it in short sporadic texts, enjoying the two word texts Brendan would send every so often, encouraging him to continue and prompting him for more, sharing the odd photo of his hand-based mimicry.

 

Ste was getting hard, desperate to whip his cock out and jerk off but he couldn’t, he was still downstairs, he needed to find an excuse to escape the potential scrutiny of his parents so he could watch that video over and over and cream his shorts.

 _‘God Bren I want u 2 fuck me hard_ ’ he sent,

 _‘Clearly, perhaps you should come to the club after school tomorrow, see if we can bring this to life’_ Brendan’s text sent a thrill down Ste’s spine and he knew he had to do something about it,

 _‘or bunk off’_ Ste suggested, he’d do it too, all his lessons were revisionary, stuff he could do during Brendan’s down time, because as much as Brendan was loathe to admit it, he needed breaks,

 _‘no, not this close to exams,’_ that disappointed him,

 _‘After school then fine,’_ he texted, readjusting himself in his pants under the blankets. _‘still want u 2 fuck me tho, lick my arss n fuck it hard, bruise me,_ ’ he pleaded in text form, he liked Brendan tender, but right then he wanted Brendan to ruin him like he had on the couch.

 _‘Fucking hell Steven, what an image’_ Brendan proceeded to get his own back by giving Ste an image of his own, his prick, wet with lube and glistening at the tip where a bead of precum settled in the slit, Ste _had_ to get him to cum on camera for him.

“I’m gonna head to bed,” he said abruptly, drawing his parents attention to himself, he’d stood up and quickly manoeuvred the blanket around his shoulders so it hung loose around him.

“Night Ste,” his mum dismissed, but Terry gave him a scrutinising look,

“Hang on Ste,” Terry piped up, looking Ste over briefly,

“Yeah?” Ste asked, feeling nervous with the way Terry was looking at him,

“Take the bins out would you mate?” he asked slowly, voice showing it wasn’t an optional request, Ste let out a quiet grumble of irritation but did as he was told, thumbing a quick _‘got chores cant respond’_ to Brendan before absentmindedly casting his phone aside along with his blanket, no longer worried about exposing his boner to his family, since the discomfort of Terry’s scrutiny had got rid of that little problem in a jiffy.

He ran to wheel the green bins to the road, lugging the heavy bins over bumpy paving slabs and another concrete bump at their gate, leaving them haphazardly on the footpath before running back inside and out of the cold. He bumped into Terry as he bolted for the living room, freezing up on old instinct, flinching away from Terry and going into an absolute panic, running upstairs and shutting himself in his room, heart going a mile a minute. He didn’t know why he thought something was going to happen then, Terry had almost seemed amused that they’d collided, but Ste had about shit himself, terrified Terry was going to cave his skull in for the mild collision. He retreated to the safety of his room and dove under the covers, petrified and trying to calm himself down, to reason with his panic and reassure that nothing was going to happen to him, he was safe and sound and Terry had changed because _Brendan_ was around and _Brendan_ would protect him.

He felt a bit daft for running off like that, sure, Terry had handed out vague threats like sweets over the past few weeks, but he’d never acted on them, not even attempted a _playful_ swing at Ste, simply threatened and ignored. It didn’t take much to reassure him that he was safe, snuggling up in his duvet and burying his face in his pillows, pretending Brendan’s strong arms were wrapped around him, protecting him as he slept.

 

He awoke to something clocking him in the side of the head, snorting slightly and sitting up quickly, looking around in confusion, then down at the object that had hit him, his phone. He looked at the door then, Terry was stood watching him, expression oddly blank,

“What were that for?” he asked in confusion,

“You lose something Ste? Or do you prefer _Steven_?” that made him frown, but his mind was foggy, he didn’t understand,

“My phone?”

“Left it downstairs, and boy am I glad, cause I have been right _sick_ of pussyfooting around my ingrate of a step-son every time he fucks up or talks back,” Terry spat, closing the gap between them and grabbing Ste’s wrist, dragging him forcefully off of the bed. “And not only are you a retard who needs a _girl_ to read him bedtime stories, but you’re a queer too!” he was laughing as he said it, hysterical and terrifying,

“Wot?” Ste balked, “I ain’t,”

“You are, you’re a little faggot, and I will _not_ have a little nancy boy living under my roof,” he yanked Ste, dropping him to his knees, Terry’s grip on his wrist was painful, twisting his arm in a way that felt like it would snap if he applied a little more pressure,

“I’m not I swear!” he cried out,

“Don’t bullshit me Ste,” Terry spat, “you’re a dirty liar, a shitmouth fag, and I am gonna enjoy kicking the cock loving tar out of you,” he hissed, raising his fist to strike the first blow.

“Stop please… y-you can’t do that…” he tried to be brave, he tried to threaten Terry with words Brendan had used before, but Terry just grinned and held his fist still.

“Can’t I? Why not? Will your _nonce_ of a boyfriend come and get me? I’m _soooo_ scared,” he mocked, falling silent as his words finally sank in, _Steven._ _Nonce_. _Boyfriend._ Ste’s eyes widened and he tried to pull away, “That’s right Ste, _I know_.”

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've probably guessed it from the ending of the last chapter, but here's the warning: graphic violence, child abuse follow in this chapter.

Ste felt like the air had been knocked out of him, his hand was on Terry’s now, trying to pry his fingers loose but Terry grabbed his other wrist, twisting them and drawing Ste in close,

“Think you should consider putting a password on your phone _Steven_ ,” he whispered harshly, revealing that he’d looked through Ste’s phone last night when he’d left it downstairs,

“No…” Ste let out,

“Oh yeah,” Terry sneered, “I saw everything, I know all about you and _Brendan_ ,” he smirked as he said it, drawing out Brendan’s name like a curse word, “See I don’t think your fella has a leg to stand on either, all I need to do is call 999 and cry paedophile, ‘officer I know I shouldn’t have battered him, but I found out he was _molesting_ my step son, I saw red, knowing he’d been hurting _my little boy_ , he’s a _monster_ ,’” he mocked and Ste let out a sob, “I figure they’d sooner believe that the nonce battered you cause I found out too,”

“What?” Ste sniffled, confused and scared, he hadn’t been smacked about, then it dawned on him that he was _about to be_. “Wait please, I won’t see im, I won’t tell im you know I swear, I’ll end it,”

“You’ll still be a dirty little faggot though, won’t you?” Terry sneered, “I knew you were worthless, a useless little shit who wouldn’t make anything of himself, and now look at you, you won’t even have a family, you’ll just be some old man’s dirty secret, a little AIDS slut he fucked up,” Terry goaded and Ste went as limp as he could manage without crashing to the ground, there was no point struggling, it’d only get worse.

“It’s not like that,” he whimpered, staring at his phone, knowing what it held, photos, videos, sexts, and god that photo of Ste bent over Brendan’s desk with cum dripping out his asshole was on there too, Terry had seen it all, he’d seen it all and waited for his mum to slink off to her cleaning job before confronting him about it.

“I don’t give a shit what it’s like, you’re fucked in the head, how can you _like_ any of this shit?” Terry dragged him along and Ste went easily, watching Terry grab the phone off of the bed and flip through it, “this? This dirty old queer shows you his cock, and you’re gagging for it aren’t you?” he showed Ste one of the numerous photos, “that getting you hard? You popping a boner seeing an old man’s dick?”

“He’s not old,” Ste protested quietly,

“He’s old enough to be a pervert,” Terry snapped, “a pervert who does this to a teenage boy and keeps the photo like a trophy,” it was a photo of Ste lying back in bed this time, knees up and spread, asshole gaping a little wider than was necessary for Brendan’s cock. He had acquired a plug by paying someone to get it for him, then he’d worn it all day, ready for when he showed up at Brendan’s that afternoon, it had felt weird all day, but Brendan’s reaction had been worth it, even though he was regretting it now. “You ever think how many people he’s shown this to? How many disgusting old men are jerking their fat little cocks over you looking like a slut?” Terry spat in Ste’s face, actually spat with intent, the glob of saliva hitting Ste’s eye and sliding slow and slimy down his cheek to match his tears.

“It’s not like that, please Terry, I’ll go, you’ll never see me again I swear,”

“But I’ll know, I’ll know I helped raise a dirty little queer, an old man’s fuck toy, I’ll know that somewhere, some pervert is fucking something _I_ raised, I can’t have you walking around like my biggest failure,”

“Then what? What? You gonna kill me? Do it, I don’t care!” Ste shouted at him and got a smack for it, the back of Terry’s hand striking him hard enough to taste blood, it hadn’t helped that his hand was balled into a fist around Ste’s phone,

“I’ll fucking batter the queer out of you,” he hissed through his teeth like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You can’t just _hit_ it out of me,” Ste laughed, he shouldn’t have, but it came out a laugh because he realised how _stupid_ Terry was to think he could do that,

“I’ll make it so you can never put another cock in that stupid little mouth of yours, and if that fails, I guess I’ll have to bite the bullet and _fuck_ it out of you,” his eyes widened at that, Terry wouldn’t, would he? “Oh _now_ you’re scared? I was half expecting you to start salivating you sick little fuck,” Terry was up close and personal now, face inches from Ste’s,

“You wouldn’t! That’d be… that’s queer!” Ste protested, grasping at straws, hoping Terry’s rampant homophobia would deter him from something as drastic as _raping_ his step-son,

“It’s a small price to pay to set you straight,” he chuckled, “or I could get some lads from the bar to have a go, some of them haven’t bust a nut in months, not with their frigid bitch wives, they’d be glad to fuck you til you bleed,” he shoved Ste to the ground then, ranting about the terrible things he could have done to Ste with one phone call, Ste saw his moment, Terry’s gaze was elsewhere, so he bolted for the door.

 

He didn’t get far, not without a hand on him, but Terry only caught the collar of his t-shirt, choking him briefly before he saw where Ste was heading and let go; Ste’s life seemed to flash before his eyes as he barrelled down the stairs on his side, head, back, rolling and rolling. It hurt beyond belief, but he was soon lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs, stunned, but not immobile, bruised but not broken just yet, he could get away, he could run before the slow thud, thud, thud that was Terry’s footfalls descended the stairs.

He had a moment of sheer stupidity, he knew it the moment he bolted into the kitchen and grabbed the phone off the receiver instead of running from the house, he’d wanted to _call the police._ Why the hell had he thought calling the police would work? He didn’t even get to hit call before he was struck round the back of the head and pinned against the counter, cheek pressed to the tile, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth now he’d finally stopped swallowing it.

“You can’t even _run_ right,” he laughed, “I might actually enjoy this for once,” Ste wanted to laugh back at him then, to shout at him and tell him he knew otherwise, that Terry was a sick feral animal that got off on hurting little boys, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, knowing if he did that Terry would just up his game, prove him right whilst telling him how wrong he was. He let out a huff and regretted it, Terry curled his fingers into Ste’s hair, yanking his head back and smashing it down on the countertop with a wet crunch. “Don’t get _cute_ kid, you wanna say something, say it, or I’ll knock it out of you,” Terry hissed,

“Stop, please,” Ste pleaded on deaf ears, he couldn’t see through one eye for the blood streaming from his eyebrow, Terry dragged him back and threw him to the ground.

He was on his front, he wanted to scream when Terry knelt over him, a leg either side, he thought for sure he was going to do it, to pull down his pants and abuse him to make a point, he choked out a sob,  pleading with Terry not to do it, to leave him alone, “I swear, I swear I’ll never touch a man again, I promise, please don’t do it, please, please,” he cried, thrashing this way and that, but all he’d done was anger Terry.

“Shut the _fuck_ up you stupid little boy,” Terry groaned, lifting Ste by his hair, so his back was curved and he instinctively braced himself with his hands, but Terry was stronger than him, and he was dazed from his fall, so when Terry pushed down, pulled back, slammed and slammed until a new level of pain blossomed in Ste’s jaw along with an audible crack, then another, his teeth grinding together painfully as Terry went from slamming to smearing his face on the floor. Ste couldn’t even beg him to stop, jaw slack, pain shooting through his nerve endings every time he swallowed a gobful of blood.

Terry rose to his feet soon after, shoving Ste onto his side with a booted foot, smirking down at his handiwork, “When this is over,” he kicked him on the pause, “when you’re all healed up from _Brendan’s_ fit of rage,” another kick to help the lie sink in, “because remember, it was _Brendan_ who did this to you, cause your mouth was as loose as your used back end,” he laughed at his own joke, giving Ste a second to breathe before his foot connected with ribs instead of gut, “you go to _pretty little Amy_ , you tell her it was a phase, you miss her, you want to get on your knees and bury your face in her bald little pussy, and I bet it’s bald, I know what girls like her are like, keeping it all clean so they don’t look like the little whores they are,” Ste couldn’t speak, his face ached and blood tainted his mouth, tears streamed from his eyes, stinging the left one where his eyebrow had bust open on the counter and his cheekbone felt like it had a divot in it, where he was sure bone had crumbled. His words sank in and God Ste wanted to punch him for the way he talked about Amy, but he couldn’t do much beyond curl up on the floor and take each kick, feel one rib crack, then another, “you fuck her, you knock her up, you marry her, and you pretend you’re happy,” with every instruction he laid into Ste and brought up more blood, “Do you understand me Stevie?” Terry bent down close and hissed in his ear, “you and Mrs Amy Hay, have as many kids as the bitch can drop, prove with each one that you’re not a disgusting little fairy, understand?” Ste nodded jerkily, he nodded because he thought if he didn’t then Terry would kill him, he nodded because he didn’t want to be hit anymore. “Clever boy,” Terry gave his cheek a reassuring pat as he mocked what Brendan had said to him, but each slap of hand on bruised skin and broken bone had a pathetic whimper bubbling from Ste’s lips, caked in blood. “Now, if you’ll excuse me _princess_ , I’ve got a nonce to end,” he laughed as he wiped blood off his hands and onto his jeans, “let’s see if old Brendo knows what people do to child molesters in prison,” he snickered, leaving Ste to bleed on the kitchen floor, just sauntering out like Ste’s fate meant nothing to him.

 

Ste lay there for too long in his mind, squinting at the far counter, wishing Terry had just killed him instead, he felt sick from the taste of blood but he was resigned to his fate, to heal up and do exactly what Terry told him to do, whilst Brendan rotted in prison getting battered constantly for something he never did. His one good eye focussed against his will on something against the counter, it was the phone, he could warn Brendan, but he’d have to move, to crawl his way across the floor and make that call, all without passing out, and he wasn’t even sure if he could _speak_. He _had_ to try though, Brendan didn’t deserve prison, he hadn’t done anything wrong, and Ste loved him, he’d do anything for him, even get himself killed because he warned him Terry was coming. With that resolve in place, he stretched out an arm, it wasn’t long enough, he knew it wouldn’t be, so he dug trembling fingers into the grooves between the tiles and pulled.

He felt like he’d been set on fire, everything hurt all at once and he was almost sick on the floor, swallowing it down with tears and blood stinging his eyes, but he persisted, dragging himself that extra two feet so he could reach; it felt like Everest, his hardest trial yet, and all he did was drag himself across the kitchen floor, it was pathetic.

His fingers finally touched the edge of the phone, spinning it once by accident before he got a hold of it and drew it in close and struggled into something vaguely resembling sitting; the move had him painfully coughing up blood as he fumbled to type in Brendan’s number, spattering the handset with crimson flecks that smudged under his trembling thumbs. It took far too long but he finally managed it, hitting call and lifting the phone to his ear, trying to get some control over his erratic, wet, raspy breathing.

He silently begged that Brendan would pick up, curling into himself as best he could in his state, letting out a broken sob as the phone rang engaged and he was cut off, he tried his mobile this time, it rang three times before Brendan picked up, answering with a distant sounding grunt, “Bren it’s me Ste,“ was what he tried to say but his jaw wasn’t behaving and the pain was immense, his words coming out unintelligible, he did manage to hiccup though, inhaling some of his own blood and choking, lurching to the side and coughing violently, the pain that coursed through his jaw and body as the involuntary spasms had him retching blood and bile onto the kitchen tiles. Brendan’s odd distance soon faded and his voice was full of concern as he tried to get Ste’s attention,

“Steven? Is that you? Steven?! are you okay? Jesus Christ what’s happened?” he asked hurriedly, continuing to talk and worry as Ste gasped in as much air as he could manage, mouth tasting of blood, a taste he wouldn’t forget any time soon.

“Bren,” he swallowed thickly, his b’s were barely there but it _sounded_ like a name,  
“Steven, Jesus are you alright? Talk to me,” Ste felt awful but he _had_ to warn Brendan, because Terry was coming for him too.

“Run,” he felt blood bubble at his lips as he spoke and his vision was beginning to swim, he didn’t remember falling but he blinked and he was lying with his cheek in blood and vomit, eyelids heavy, “run…” he tried again, “he’s g’na kill you…” it hurt _so much_ but his words needed to sound like words, Brendan was in _danger_.

“What? Steven? Christ I can’t understand you hang on,”

“He knows…” he tried but his phone slipped from his ear and clattered to the ground, bouncing on the tile and away from where Ste felt himself drifting off, he could just about hear Brendan’s raised voice coming from the phone, quiet and distant as his eyes slid closed.

 

There was something in his mouth when he woke up, blocking his throat but he could still breathe somehow, he panicked a little, throat clenching around the invasive object as one eye opened, the other barely managing a squint as he tried to work out where he was.

“Steven? Steven calm down, you’re okay, you’re okay, shhh,” he felt fingers trace across his forehead, feather light but it made his skin tingle with pain; he looked to his side, foggy vision clearing and Brendan came into focus, even past the swelling and thick lashes of his left eye; his heart felt like it was throbbing with relief as he looked at him. He looked tired and worn out, but there were no bruises, no cuts or marks, which meant Brendan had run and not been found by Terry, he wanted to speak, to tell Brendan how relieved he was that he was okay, but he couldn’t, gagging around the obstruction in his throat, entire face aching painfully. “Shhh,” Brendan soothed, “You’re okay, we’re in the hospital,” he whispered, brushing a gentle thumb against Ste’s swollen cheek, “You’ve been out a week…” he uttered and Ste frowned, trying to remember what had happened, which caused more pain to crash over him like a wave, so he winced. “Been through a lot of surgery too, it was a bit touch and go for a while, but you’ve pulled through kid, you’re _so_ strong,” Ste was so confused by Brendan’s tone, he sounded wistful and was looking at Ste oddly, like he was trying to burn his battered image to memory. “I almost missed you wakin’ up…” Brendan admitted, “I can’t stop longer… I’m pushin’ it bein’ here now,” he sighed, Ste tried to lift a hand but his muscles ached and his fingers barely twitched, but Brendan noticed, moving to take his hand. Their fingers laced together despite the clunky plastic attached to one of Ste’s, and Brendan cast a furtive glance at the door, waiting for a moment before nodding and turning back to Ste, leaning down to press a kiss to the exposed part of his lip where tape and plastic didn’t quite cover. Ste wished he could get this stupid tube out, but his chest felt so heavy and he was pretty sure the click, click, whirr of the machine nearby was the only thing keeping air pumping through his lungs right then. He was so busy wishing Brendan’s lips were on his that he took a moment to register that Brendan was saying something, stroking his cheek with one hand and brushing a thumb against the back of his hand with the other.

“I’m so sorry Steven… I’m sorry that this happened to you… and I’m sorry that this has to be goodbye,” he’d closed his eyes which meant he couldn’t see the absolute look of horror on Ste’s face as he stared wide-eyed up at him, desperately praying this was a joke, “I love you Steven, I _love_ you,” he repeated it a few times, and in any other situation Ste would have been elated, but Brendan had just prefaced his admission with _goodbye_ , and not the ‘see you later’ kind, Brendan was _leaving_ Ste. “I love you _so much_ ,” Brendan whispered again, “So much…” the shock of it was taking so much out of Ste, his fingers clamping on Brendan’s and his chest heaving as his body tried to hyperventilate in spite of the machine regulating his breathing, he was exhausted, broken, and confused, struggling to understand why Brendan was saying this, but Brendan shushed him and trailed his fingers along his brow and through his hair, soothing him with promises that he was safe now, that everything would be okay, coaxing him into giving into the weight of his eyelids.

 

Brendan wasn’t there the next time Ste woke up, he’d thought he was, but his vision had cleared and focussed on a stranger, a man with features verging on gaunt, his dark blond hair was pushed back like he’d been running his hands through it, Ste didn’t recognise him and he didn’t look like a doctor.

“H—“ he tried to speak but began to cough, which did nothing for the pain in his entire face and body, the man looked at him with alarm before moving quickly into action, grabbing a cup from the end table and pouring water into it, adding a straw before sitting Ste up and helping him to take a sip.

“Calm down mate,” his voice was oddly comforting, smooth and reassuring like the upward curl of his lips, “take it slow now,” Ste licked his lips after the straw withdrew from his cottony mouth, he felt like he’d been making out with a woolly jumper, but the feeling was fading as he managed to start producing his own saliva, maybe a little too much. “There we go,” the man smiled, and Ste had half-forgotten he was even there,

“Who a’ you?” he asked abruptly, he probably should have said ‘thank you’ first, but he was past that point now, using his shoulder to wipe away the drool that escaped the corner of his mouth,

“Walker, Simon to some,” the man greeted, “and you’re Steven Hay,”

“How do you know me?” Ste frowned, it didn’t hurt half as much as it had last time, but his words were slurred and his mouth didn’t feel quite like his own,  
“Let’s just say we have a… mutual acquaintance… one that this conversation is going to help so very much,” Walker said with a smile, “So, Steven, can I call you Steven?”

“No.” Ste said it before Walker had even finished saying his name again,

“Okay, good to know, Ste is it then?” Ste nodded then, “Can you remember what happened to you?” he asked, and Ste swallowed nervously before nodding, “Good, well, you can forget all that, you stopped out all night, as teens tend to, taking a shortcut home through the industrial estate when someone came up from nowhere and mugged you, from the sounds of things it was a hate crime,” Walker said pointedly and Ste froze up,

“Hang on, no, no I’m not protectin’ _Terry_ , right,” he stopped after to cough and Walker waited before addressing his concerns.

“This has nothing to do with Terry, he’s not my concern and neither is he yours,” he stated, “I was told to take you to the hospital and report your mugging to the police, then clean up,” he was looking sidelong at the door as he spoke, voice soft and only just loud enough for Ste to hear. He couldn’t understand why someone would tell Walker to do that, then it slowly sank in,

“ _Brendan_ …” he whispered,

“Is best left out of this _particular_ exchange, you’ve not seen him, _I_ don’t know him,” Walker interjected, “look, the police are going to come talk to you when they realise you’re awake, so it’s best we get our stories straight, do you understand why this is important?” Ste nodded then, Brendan wanted this, Brendan wanted him to lie, he didn’t know why, but it seemed like a good idea to just go with it, he was too tired to argue.

“Got mugged… hate crime…”

“It happened so fast, but you’re sure you heard him call you a faggot as he hurt you,” Walker insisted, giving Ste a pointed look,

“It happened so fast… he called me a faggot…” he said, though his words sounded hollow and distant,

“A few tears wouldn’t go amiss,” Walker added, “It’s important for them to believe you,” Ste gave Walker a withering look, not amused by his constructive criticism,

“I know how to lie…” he said blankly,

“I’m sure you do…” Walker commented offhandedly before meeting Ste’s gaze and standing, reaching a hand to Ste’s face, he felt his nerves fray at the prospect of this man, this stranger, touching him, but he froze and kept eye contact. A rough finger trailed a line over his cheekbone and down to his chin before lifting, “you’ve had practice,” he muttered with a smile, laughing quietly through his nose when Ste scowled at him, “Guess it’s not just older men for you then,” Ste didn’t know why he was shocked that Walker knew, Brendan sent him, so it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he must’ve known _some_ of their story, “I’m going now, you won’t see me again without prompting… but should you _need_ to do that…” he trailed off, he turned to the side table, leaning on it as he pulled out a pen and wrote something down, tearing a scrap of paper off of something just out of Ste’s line of sight. He folded it up as he turned and took Ste’s wired up hand, turning it over and placing the piece in it, “follow the instructions like a good boy,” he gave Ste that smile that had put him at ease at first but unsettled him now.

 

Ste lifted his hand, it hurt like hell but he managed it, shakily unravelling the folded paper, it already had writing printed on it, tiny script on unbelievably thin paper, but he didn’t focus on that, instead looking at the blue ink on the page and trying to figure out Walker’s writing. It was instructions to go to a phone booth and call a familiar number, the one that Brendan had been called by a million times, he’d also written ‘ _DO NOT SHARE’_ , but Ste doubted he’d have any interest in sharing this contact information. When he looked up to ask why he couldn’t just use his mobile, he was alone in the room, he hadn’t seen Walker leave or heard him make a sound, which was weird, but soon a familiar school nurse arrived at the door, though he wasn’t sure why _Lynsey_ would be at the hospital.

“Ste! You’re awake!” she lit up when she saw him, coming in and helping him adjust the bed so it was supporting him in his endeavour to sit up, “What’s that?” she asked as she gestured to the paper in Ste’s hand,  
“Oh, nothin’, just a…” he looked at the side table for the source of the paper, frowning when he saw the bible there, “passage…” he gestured lamely, “Sorry I weren’t thinkin’,” he mumbled, clutching the refolded note tightly,

“Is that not yours? We don’t tend to have religious texts in the hospital, not everyone has that faith,” she explained and Ste nodded,

“Right… yeah… must be mine then…” he frowned,

“Wait… are you forgetting things? Try to hold onto that thought, I’m going to get the doctor,” she rushed from the room then, leaving Ste on his own. He reached out and picked up the bible, slotting the torn page into the front of it and setting it down on his lap, looking down at his hands and realising for the first time that he had bruises up most of his forearms, solid rings around his wrists where he’d been painfully grabbed, and spotted where he’d fallen down the stairs. He had a clip on one hand and an IV needle in the other, which wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but he supposed it was important; he opted to lift the IV hand, his right hand, to his face, he was swollen and tender and he still couldn’t quite shut his mouth, so he had wet tracks of saliva down his face which felt gross. He ignored the dampness and touched higher, his eyes felt puffy and he had a slightly more significant squint on the left side, but for once his nose had survived the attack, even if it was a little wider at the bridge due to the swelling under his eyes. Mixed with the bruising on his arms and the way breathing _hurt_ , he chalked this up as the worst beating he’d ever gotten, though it wasn’t a hard deduction to make, given he was pretty sure Terry had cracked his jaw when he’d bounced him off the floor a half dozen times.

He looked to the door when Lynsey returned with a doctor and another guy, the former two fussing over him, asking him questions and checking his responsiveness before the doctor opted to tell Ste what he’d gone through at the hospital, the suited man standing by the door waiting.

“So, when you were admitted you were unconscious and had lost a lot of blood, your jaw was broken in two places, along with a couple of ribs, and you’ve got a blowout fracture with damage to your upper orbital and zygomatic arch; we’ve resolved some of this with transfusions and reconstructive surgery, your time unconscious has given your ribs some time to set and for most of the swelling after the surgery to go down,” reconstructive surgery didn’t bode well in Ste’s mind, and he wondered if he looked _different_ because of it, he touched his face gently again and Lynsey piped up,

“You’re still the same you Ste, just a little swollen,” she assured and Ste sighed his relief, feeling his ribs ache with the exhale.

“And with a few added bits of metal, but don’t worry, you won’t be setting any metal detectors off,” The doctor continued on about Ste’s injuries, his bruises were still quite present and they’d had concerns about his cognitive abilities but would only be able to look into that once he was conscious, since he’d been comatose for almost two weeks now. They clearly didn’t know about his venture into the land of the living when Brendan had been there, though he wasn’t quite sure it had really happened, but he remembered Brendan’s goodbye and felt the tears start to well.

“Oh Ste,” Lynsey sighed, “I know you’ve worked really hard, but don’t worry, the school is happy to wait for you to recover before you sit your exams,” she said, giving his shoulder a gentle rub, he’d stopped paying attention but he realised she’d mentioned the fact that his incident had coincided with the bulk of his exams at school, she must’ve thought that was why he was upset. He nodded lamely and tried to pay attention to the doctor but he was tired and the other guy was making him nervous.

 

The doctor finished up by giving him some serious painkillers and leaving the man and Lynsey with Ste, the guy stepped forward, he was young and Ste felt like _he_ should be sitting his exams too given the look of him.

“Hello Ste, I’m DC Ethan Scott,” he flashed a badge which surprised Ste, he wasn’t expecting the officer who questioned him to be plain clothed, “Due to the nature of your assault, I’ve been called in to ask you a few questions, you don’t need to feel pressured, please take your time with your answers, if it’s too much too soon, I _can_ leave, just say,” he gestured to the chair by Ste’s bedside then “mind if I sit?”

“Okay…” Ste let out, watching him sit down,

“Can you tell me everything you remember about the event?” he asked, and Ste swallowed thickly before setting his game-face,

“I were goin’ home,”

“That early in the morning?” the detective asked, Ste swallowed nervously,

“Yer, I were out all night, just hanging around,”

“Alone?”

“Yeah… didn’t feel like goin’ home…” he shrugged, the detective didn’t press further, “I take this shortcut through the industrial estate near me house, been through there like a million times, when I hear someone shout, an I think it’s at me, cause they ca… they said I were a…” he trailed off with a snotty wet sniff, his eyes stinging with forced tears, “he said I were a _faggot_ ,” he whispered the last word, he _hated_ that word, he had to stop, even in lying it felt so horrifically close to the truth, “it all happened so fast, one minute I were turnin, the next I was on the floor,” he let out a sob then, it hurt physically _and_ emotionally, the fabrication triggering hot flashes of the truth, of a hand in his hair, crashing his face against the tiles again and again.

“Ste? Ste, it’s okay, you’re okay,” Lynsey’s voice broke through the fog and he grabbed her wrist and leant to her, thankful she understood and wrapped him protectively in her arms so he could cry, “Maybe you should go…” she said to the detective,

“I will, I’ll leave my card, when he’s ready, when you’re ready Ste, call me, I apologise for putting you through that, thank you for trying,” he offered his sympathies and Ste peeked out past Lynsey and gave him a pitiful look as he placed a business card on the bible that had been unintentionally kicked down past Ste’s knee.

“Okay…” he let out meekly, watching him leave and sagging against Lynsey, he was exhausted still despite the fact that he’d been unconscious for almost two weeks at this point; he eased away from Lynsey after a while and she took a tissue from the bedside table and gently wiped at his cheeks and around his mouth, where his new habit of drooling had gotten the better of him. It was embarrassing really,

“I’m sorry…” he apologised, “I wanna lie down…” he said after, picking up his bible and business card and letting Lynsey lie him back, “not too far please,” he added when he got to a comfortable angle, trying to smile when she fluffed his pillow a bit and gave him a sweet smile. “I didn’t know you worked here,” he admitted after a while,

“I do sometimes, and after I heard what happened to you, well…” she trailed off, and Ste felt guilty, people seemed to be pulling favours for him over this and it didn’t sit right with him. She looked like she was going to continue but she’d looked over her shoulder and seemed distracted,

“Uh… hi Nurse Nolan,” came a familiar girl’s voice, _Amy_ ,

“Hey Lynsey,” Declan was with her, he wanted to start bawling again, so touched that his friends were here, “Is he awake yet?” he asked, hope in his voice, Lynsey stepped aside then and Ste saw his friends worried faces shift to sheer elation at seeing him awake.

“Ste!” they cried in unison, practically rushing him,

“Calm down you two, he’s under a lot of stress right now,”

“So are we! Worrying about Ste is hard enough _without_ the exams too,” Declan whined, looking around before spotting the piled up chairs in the corner and going to grab one, Amy sat down in the cushioned chair at the side of the bed, taking Ste’s hand and smiling when he squeezed it, Declan soon dragged his chair over and sat next to Amy,

“I feel like I shouldn’t leave you three alone right now,” Lynsey sighed behind them, “But I trust you, don’t get him too excited okay? Keep him calm and comfortable,” she ordered sternly, the two nodding eagerly and watching her leave.

 

“God Ste we were so worried about you,” Amy let out when Lynsey had left, “We thought it had been Terry, but then that guy told the police he stopped some guy from mugging you,” she frowned then, she didn’t seem sure,

“Yeah… it… I were goin’ home… an’ I got mugged… but I don’t think he wanted owt _off_ me… I think he just did it cos I’m gay…” he lied, it got the desired effect, Amy and Declan looked _mortified_ that someone would hurt Ste over his sexuality.

“What were you doing out so late?” Amy asked,

“I just… I didn’t wanna go home…” Ste admitted, his friends giving him a look of understanding, “It’s my own fault… shouldn’t have been out so late…” he sighed,

“No it’s not!” Amy protested,

“It’s not your fault… it’s fuckin’ sick…” Declan spat,

“It’s awful!” Amy sighed, “I… I can’t believe… I can’t believe someone would do that, that’s… so wrong,” she looked like she could cry, so Ste gave her hand a squeeze,

“It’s alright, I’m okay,” he tried to smile but it hurt, “an’ the police’ll get him…” he knew they wouldn’t, because they would be chasing a false lead whilst Terry got away with kicking the ever-loving shit out of his own step-son.

“Yeah,” Declan agreed, “An if they don’t, I’ll find the guy who did it and give him a kick-in,” he threatened, but Ste didn’t want that, he held his tongue though, just smiling as best he could at his friends, wishing he could tell them everything.

“ _You?_ I’ll stab him,” Amy huffed, which made Ste chuckle slightly, he couldn’t imagine her stabbing someone, she wasn’t the type,

“Calm down Ames,” he smiled, she gave him a soft, adoring look, squeezing his hand gently,

“I can’t believe anyone would want to hurt you like this,” she sighed,

“Yer well people are shit, you should know that by now, I do,” Ste pointed out,

“A stranger though! That’s… he didn’t know anything about you, and he passed a judgement on you,”

“Ames you’re makin’ it sound like if he knew the guy it’d be alright,” Declan piped up,

“That’s not what I mean!” Amy protested, frowning, “I just… Terry I understand, he’s mentally unstable and a horrible person, and I don’t condone what he’s done in the past, by god I don’t condone it, but he’s a vile monster who preys on the innocent. Then some random guy decides that because you’re gay you need to be killed? That’s disgusting,” she sighed, “It’s all awful, I’m so sorry this keeps happening to you Ste, you don’t deserve it,” she touched Ste’s cheek and he leant into her touch, tired and worn out, wishing he could sleep again.

“It’s alright,” Ste smiled weakly, lifting his free hand to wipe at his mouth, hating how his slack jaw and slurred speech was making him drool like a dog, “Ugh… you’d think with all this shit comin’ outta my mouth it wouldn’t feel so dry,” he laughed bitterly,

“Dec, can you go get us some coke?” Amy asked, Declan looked put out then, glancing at the water jug on the side table, but Ste caught Amy’s unsettled look and backed her up,

“C’mon Dec, I’ve been eatin’ through a tube for weeks,” Ste pouted,

“Aw but the vender is on the canteen floor,” Declan whined, but he stood anyway, “You want diet or normal?” he asked them both,

“Whatever, just no more water… oh get us some food too, I think I can eat soft stuff, doctor didn’t say I can’t,” Ste suggested, figuring it’d give him and Amy more time alone, since that was what she was angling for,

“Shall do sickie,” Declan smiled, patting Ste’s thigh and then Amy’s shoulder before he left the room, pulling his wallet from his back pocket as he went.

 

Ste and Amy sat in an awkward silence for a good minute or so before Ste broke it, “So what did you wanna talk about?” he asked,

“Talk about? Nothing, why would you think I wanted to—“

“You sent Declan off when I’ve got water right there, what’s goin’ on with you?”

“I don’t want to be a burden… you’ve got enough on your plate…” she sighed,

“You’re me best mate Ames, I’ve been worryin’ about you for ages now, talk to me,” he squeezed her hand as he said it, giving her his best pleading look with one eye squinting,

“It’s stupid…” Amy sighed,

“Nah it ain’t, not if it’s botherin’ you, tell me,”

“I… a while back… I might’ve… had a bit of a pregnancy scare…” she admitted, cheeks pink with embarrassment, Ste was shocked, that hadn’t been what he’d expected at all, though it was considerably better than her being hurt, “less of a scare really…” she added, blinking and letting a few tears race down her cheeks.

“Wait what?” he blanched, was she saying… he almost laughed at the coincidence, given what Terry had said to him, ‘knock her up’, someone had gotten there first.

“Josh broke up with me, said he didn’t want anything to do with me, he said I lied about it being his, called me horrible things,” she was in tears now, “I’m sorry, this is awful timing I know, you’ve got so much on and here’s me adding to it, poor Amy, got knocked up in school and whines about it to her _hospitalised_ gay ex,” she started mocking herself and Ste lifted her hand a little,

“Ames, don’t worry about puttin’ it on me…” he smiled, “You’re tough as nails you are, you’ll get through this, are you keepin’ it?”

“Yeah… mum talked me into it… and it’s been almost five months now…” she sighed, Ste looked her over, she didn’t look different, but she _was_ wearing a big baggy hoodie so he couldn’t really tell _how_ she was shaped, she’d been wearing clothes like that for a while now, “I’m not sure I can do it alone though,”

“Well you’ve got me an’ Deccy, we’ll be tag-team dads if you want,” he tried to grin but it hurt, so he just squeezed her hand again and hoped the sentiment reached her. It seemed to, because she started laughing as she cried, warmed and relieved by his words,

“Thanks Ste, god… even like this you’re a great friend…” she sighed,

“Yer well… it’s cause you’ve been good to me an’ all,” Ste assured, “It’s what friends do,”

“Friends don’t suggest being the dad,” Amy huffed,

“Did Declan not say it?” he asked, Declan was a stand-up guy, sure he wouldn’t necessarily offer to father Amy’s baby, but he’d at least say he’d help out,

“I’ve not told him…” Amy admitted, “You’re the first one aside from Josh and my parents… _and_ the school nurse... Lynsey…” she sighed that, wiping her eyes but she looked close to tears again,

“Ames…” Ste frowned slightly, his face wasn’t hurting as bad now, so he suspected his painkillers were taking effect, “I meant it right…” he assured, lifting her hand and bringing it up to touch his lips to her knuckles affectionately.

“What?” she sniffled,

“I’ll be its dad if you need help…” he shrugged,

“ _Really_? I thought you were joking,” Amy looked stunned, wiping her eyes and trying to blink away fresh tears, “Ste… God… I couldn’t make you do that,” she was crying again,

“You wouldn’t be makin’ me do owt,” he assured, “I’ve always wanted kids anyway,” he admitted, he’d never thought he’d have any, not at first, when he was young and didn’t know gay people could have kids, but he _really_ wanted to be a dad, and if he could do that _and_ help one of his best friends in the process, where was the harm in it?

“You’d make a great dad,” Amy smiled,

“Alright there weren’t coke, Dr Pepper and Fanta, who wants what?” Declan proclaimed as he sauntered through the door, cans in one hand, a pot of pudding in the other. Amy startled and pulled her hand from Ste’s, wiping her eyes and sniffling, trying to hide that she’d been crying, “God Ames he’s not dyin’,” Declan chuckled, but concern soon took hold of him, “are you okay? Ste? Is she okay? What happened?” he asked,

“I’ll tell you later, yeah?” Amy smiled, taking Ste’s hand and pressing it to her cheek, giving that extra bit of thankful affection.

 

They sat talking for a long while after that, and as tired as Ste was, he didn’t let on, smiling dopily as his friends chatted about school, how everyone knew what had happened and was trying to figure out something to do to wish him well and maybe get some money if he needed it. It was touching to think people were banding together for _him_ , he didn’t think he deserved it, but he stayed quiet, let them be excited about it, because they thought they were making him feel better.

“Is there anything else you need?” Amy asked, it felt almost abrupt the way she’d said it, interrupting herself mid-stream,

“Huh?” he grunted, he’d sort of forgotten to pay attention to the topic of conversation, half-asleep and finally starting to doze off,

“Is there anything you need?” she repeated, and Ste was dopey now, opening his mouth when he should’ve kept it shut,

“Brendan would be nice…” he sighed, leaning back and letting his head fall to the side.

“Where _is_ he anyway? You’d think he’d be here, I mean you’re his… _you know_ ,” Amy whispered, as if people would overhear ‘you know’ and think the worst, “he should be here, he was here non-stop at first and then he just… stopped coming…” Amy frowned, which told Ste one thing, that hadn’t been a dream, waking up in the hospital with Brendan at his side. He had a brief moment of happiness when he remembered Brendan’s words _‘I love you Steven, I love you’_ , it vanished quickly though, because with ‘I love you’ came ‘goodbye’, and Ste wanted to die a little inside, because Declan’s mouth opened and the worst thing came out of it.

“Oh uh… he tried to stop… he did, and you know he stayed by your side non-stop for ages… As much as he could without getting’ suspicion on him… but when you… the day you got mugged…” Declan trailed off, swallowing thickly before meeting Ste’s gaze and looking apologetic, “da got a phone call from his sister, she needed him back in Ireland… his dad died…”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay on this one, I wasn't happy with it last week and had to pester a friend into giving me some helpful feedback :P This is technically the last proper chapter, next will be an epilogue, then it'll be done. Not sure when the epilogue will be up, in the next two weeks definitely.

Brendan was gone, he’d had a week to let it sink in and it didn’t hurt any less. The only thing he had was that bible; he knew it was Brendan’s, he’d never seen it before, never had any inkling beyond Brendan’s necklace that he’d own something like that, but he could tell. It was dumb, but he could _smell_ Brendan on it, could feel the indents his fingers had made from squeezing the book too hard, he could even tell which page Brendan had spent the most time mulling over, it was worn to the point that the type on the thin page was faded and there was a permanent crease where Brendan had trailed his fingers to read it over and over. It had taken some time and deliberation, but he’d managed to read it, memorise it even,

_Psalm 32:6-7_

_6 Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found; Surely in a flood of great waters they will not reach him._

_7 You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance._

He didn’t know what it _meant_ exactly, but it must’ve meant _something_ to Brendan or he wouldn’t have worn it to a pale, near invisible font.

He ran his fingers over it once more before closing the book, looking up as Declan and Amy walked into the hospital room, it was nice seeing them both, Amy actually _looked_ pregnant now, she’d opened up about it to Declan and the school and was dressing comfortably rather than sweating to death under layers, though Declan looked completely frazzled. Declan had a method for coping with exams and stress, and that was to over-study, under-sleep, and survive off of Red Bull, energy tablets, and toast, so really he wasn’t coping at all, but he always came out in top form, even if he crashed for a few weeks afterwards.

“Hey guys,” he greeted, giving them a sad little smile, then looking to Declan hopefully, “Did you call him?” he’d asked Declan to call his dad, tell him Ste was getting out of hospital, hoping that he’d call or leave a message or _something_ , but Declan’s expression told all, Brendan didn’t want to talk to him, didn’t care that he was getting out,

“His phone’s disconnected,” Declan sighed, “Mam says it could be cause Ireland is the EU now, and connection charges are a bitch,” he offered lamely, it didn’t sound right, but it was all Declan could offer him.

“Didn’t he leave a number with anyone? Your mum? The club?” Ste asked,

“Not with mum,” he shrugged, “not been to the club, that Foxy bloke scares me a bit,” he scratched his arm nervously, looking thoroughly uncomfortable with the idea of going to see Warren.

“Sorry… I don’t mean to pressure you…” he apologised, seeing the discomfort and not liking the way he’d made Declan feel, “He’s gone, it’s fine,” he sighed, succumbing to the idea that maybe Brendan wasn’t coming back, maybe Terry had scared him, so he’d left Ste in the line of fire if Terry decided to take out his anger at not getting to batter Brendan.

“He’s not _left_ you Ste, he’s gone to Dublin to _grieve_ ,” Amy pointed out, “How many times do we need to tell you that?” she asked, voice soft, smile gentle and reassuring.

“I know…” he sighed, “it feels like he has though… I mean if _Dec_ can’t get to him… how am I supposed to?” he asked, though he knew in reality, he _wasn’t_ supposed to, Brendan had said goodbye like they were having their last moments together, and that seemed to be the case in the end. He gave a weary sigh and tried to count his blessings, he still had his friends, and he had a few months to prepare for sitting his exams late, _and_ he was getting out of hospital today, though that didn’t feel much like a blessing given who he’d be going home to.

“Sorry mate… I tried… I’ll keep tryin’ though,” he promised, “We should get your stuff sorted, mam’s outside waitin’ for us,” he gestured to the backpack he’d loaned Ste, it was full of Declan’s clothes, because Ste didn’t want him going near Terry and his parents hadn’t bothered to come and see him in the hospital _at all_.

“Yeah okay,” Ste gave a tired smile and pushed off of the bed he was sat on, tucking his bible into his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder, “Lyns and all that already gave me the all clear,” he explained, “But I gotta sign out anyway,” he added, offering Amy his hand. She took it and curled her arm under his, pressing against his side as they walked, Declan declined when Ste offered the other hand, muttering something about not wanting his mum to see him holding hands with a boy. He got that, Eileen wasn’t exactly open-minded, burned by the admission of her ex-husband’s sexuality, so he didn’t press the matter, just bumped their shoulders together every now and then as they walked.

 

He was glad to be rid of the hospital at least, stepping outside and seeing Eileen stood waiting by her car, a different one to the sleek sports car, clearly prepared to mum it up and ferry a bunch of kids around.

“Hiya Mrs Donovan,” Ste greeted, it was still weird knowing Declan was a Brady and his mum wasn’t any more, but he couldn’t really expect her to keep her ex-husband’s name after she remarried,

“Hi Ste, you look really well,” she gave him a warm smile, warmer and more genuine than he’d seen her before, like him being hospitalised had changed him into someone she could stand,

“Thanks, I feel rough as muck,” he laughed, rubbing at his mouth, nervous he still had that drooling problem, but mostly he’d just lost some feeling in his upper lip, which he was said _could_ return over time. He was aching too, stiff and sore, breathing in too deeply always hurt, but that was the nature of bruised and healing ribs,

“They did a good job on that eye, just a little scar here,” she brushed her finger against the split in the hair of Ste’s eyebrow, drawing back when she realised that wasn’t exactly appropriate, “Sorry,”

“It’s fine…” Ste shrugged, “I look normal… my jaw isn’t weird either look,” he lifted his chin to show there were no scars, “they did it all inside my mouth, though you probably don’t wanna see that,” he laughed, he’d looked in the mirror when he’d been told about it, seeing glimpses of metal at the base of his gums, it was a bit gross.

“You’re right, but Lynsey told me it looked horrid when you were brought in,” concern was written all over her face,

“I dunno, not seen,” he shrugged, he didn’t want to see the damages, didn’t want to when that detective came back either, couldn’t understand why he’d suggested looking at the injuries in the first place.

“Poor thing,” Eileen sighed, “You know, I don’t get it, I may not be completely thrilled about what your lot do, but I’d never wish _pain_ upon you, that’s just not right,” she mused, turning and unlocking the car with the push of a button, “Come on then you lot, let’s get you all home, Miss Barnes in the front,” she instructed, ushering the three of them into the large 4x4. They did as told, climbing into the car and getting comfortable, Ste kept touching the scar on his eyebrow, it stretched up his forehead a half inch, he thought it was ugly, but he supposed it was better than having a collapsed eye socket.

“Ste?” Declan prompted, and there he went again, zoning out like the complete noodle he was, “Mam asked you a question,”

“Sorry, I’m not feelin’ myself lately, my head is everywhere,” he gave a shrug,

“Have you told the doctors?”

“Yeah they said I’d probably be disoriented a while,” he admitted, “What were the question?”

“Declan said your parents haven’t visited you, I was wondering if you wanted to stay with us a while,” she sounded uncomfortable with the suggestion but she was extending the olive branch anyway, which maybe said to Ste that she was uncomfortable with the fact that his parents weren’t showing their care, not that she was inviting a little gay boy into her home.

“I’ll just go home, it’ll be alright,” he denied the offer, wishing he’d accept it and go with them, so he could have Declan close to reassure him everything would be okay, and that he could hear if Brendan got in touch as soon as it happened. He needed to go home though, to prove to Terry he wasn’t scared of him despite what had happened, he also needed to find out if his mum knew what Terry knew about him and Brendan.

“Well if you change your mind, just call Deccy, you’ve got his number, right?” Eileen asked, Ste nodding and leaning back in his seat, rolling his head to the side and watching the world whip by the car.

 

They pulled up to Ste’s house far too soon for his liking, the four of them all climbing out of the car once it had parked, Amy and Declan gave him hugs but Eileen was pacing,

“I could give her a piece of my mind,” she gestured at the house, where Ste’s mum was sat in the window, staring vacantly out past them, like they weren’t even there.

“Leave it mam,”

“How could she just leave you at the hospital without saying a word?” she asked, voice livid and clipped, her Northern Irish tone was harsh and she looked like she’d do more than give Ste’s mum a piece of her mind, maybe a piece of her fist too. “What kind of mother just _ignores_ their child at the hospital?”

“Mam,” Declan repeated, looking over to Ste apologetically, knowing that Eileen’s outburst could only aggravate Ste’s home life, _“Mam,_ stop it,” he repeated harsher this time, “We gotta go, let Ste go home,” he tried, and Eileen looked to Ste who gave a half-hearted shrug,

“I’ll be fine, mum’s not well…” he lied, shouldering his backpack and getting one last hug from his friends before turning and walking down that familiar path, wishing it would finally cave in and swallow him whole, but it didn’t, and a glance over his shoulder showed Declan and Amy sat in the car staring out at him with sad little smiles.

He turned back to the door and let himself in, intending to bypass his parents and head straight upstairs, but he caught a glimpse of the kitchen and was hit with burning flashes of what had happened to him there. He staggered back and hit the hallway wall, curling his arms up and blocking his face with his hands, eyes wide as he slid to the floor,

“Oh god, god no,” he whimpered, struggling to do much more than gasp for breath as he sat there, praying his lungs would behave along with his brain.

He sat there for five or ten minutes before his heart stopped racing and his head stopped pounding, eyes focussing on the clean kitchen, it definitely didn’t look like anyone had bled all over the place, which was impressive, but he supposed Walker must’ve been behind that, cleaning up so nobody would know Ste was hurt _in his own home_.

“Mum?” he called out shakily, but got no response, looking to the open door of the living room, moving onto his hands and knees and slowly pulling himself to his feet, “mum?” he called again, edging around the door, seeing her sat where she’d been when Ste had been outside, “Are you alright?” he asked, she didn’t respond at first, so he got closer, a creaking floorboard the only thing to finally rouse her from her state, her watery stare knocking him back.

“He’s gone,” she said hollowly, “he’s gone… he’s left me…… he’s left me and he didn’t even say anything were wrong…” she choked out, starting to cry; Ste didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to react to his mum’s words. It was slow to sink into his confused mind, but when it did, his eyes widened and his heart seemed to swell with relief; Terry was gone.

 

He couldn’t believe it, Terry was _gone_ , his mum was in bits and he felt bad about it, but Terry was undeniably _gone_ , he’d left, and it was probably because of _Ste_. “Why?” Ste asked, half hiding in the doorway,

“I don’t _know_ ,” his mum sobbed, sagging in her chair and drinking straight from the wine bottle she picked up off of the coffee table. “He won’t answer my calls, just _texts_ me to stop,” she wept, Ste was struggling not to smile, he didn’t need her knowing he was to blame, it would make her worse,

“That’s a bit wank…” Ste grumbled, hoping to come across sympathetic, though he had a sneaking suspicion it sounded as forced as it felt. “I’m gonna go put my stuff away… you need owt?” he asked, she shook her head,

“Leave me alone…” she hissed, turning her attention back to the window, continuing her wait for Terry’s return. He didn’t know how to react to her like that, she was drunk and upset and for once it wasn’t because Terry had smacked her about,

“Okay…” he conceded, there was nothing he could do and if he was honest, there was nothing he _wanted_ to do to help her, so he turned and left the room. He headed upstairs, weary and depressed, stopping in the doorway of his bedroom, just looking at it, his bed was made and aside from some clothes on the floor, the room looked undisturbed, and not at all like Ste had been there the morning he’d been beaten. He gave a shudder and set about trying to hunt down his phone, he needed it, he wanted to tell Declan and Amy that Terry was gone, because with Terry gone, he was truly safe, though he wouldn’t _exactly_ mention that to the pair of them, since they thought he’d been mugged.

He turned his room upside down for over an hour trying to find his phone, couldn’t for the life of him figure out where Terry had left it… unless Terry _hadn’t_ left it, if he’d taken it with him and was going to chase Brendan down with threats of police involvement. He felt sick just _thinking_ about it, he couldn’t bear the thought of Brendan being arrested because of _him_ , it’s why he’d called him up in the first place; he buried his face in his hands, distraught and hoping to god that it wasn’t going to end up the worst case scenario.  
“God…” he whimpered, clutching his head and moving to sit on his bed, he had to calm down, panicking just made his chest swell and his ribs ache where they still weren’t _quite_ perfect. “Calm down Ste, it’s nowt, it’s probably downstairs somewhere,” he sighed, trying to gesture air into his lungs as if that would help somehow. “It’s fine… breathe…” he took a few slow breaths and calmed himself down, closing his eyes and just letting himself sit for a while, organise his thoughts, try to suss out where his phone could have gone.

He ended up downstairs a few minutes later, if his mum didn’t know where his phone was, then he’d just use the house phone and ring it, if that didn’t work or if Terry answered it, then he’d hang up and call Declan to tell him the news, then Amy.

“Mum?” he called out nervously, hoping he wouldn’t get shut out again; she didn’t say anything, but she _did_ look over at him, “Have you seen me phone?” he asked, he was lingering in the doorway again, afraid to step in in case his mother decided to penalise him for it.

“Your… no… no I haven’t… God Ste… Terry’s _gone_ and all you’re worried about is your stupid phone?” she snapped, “you disgust me, you selfish little prat,” she broke down and wept then, Ste backing awkwardly out of the living room, he didn’t want to hear it and he didn’t want to provoke her, so he turned to the kitchen instead.

 

It was a daunting task, just _looking_ at the tiled room made him anxious, and he felt his hands shaking just looking in there, but he needed to get to the phone, so he sucked in a slow, deep breath before moving his foot forward. It was an awkward shuffle towards the phone, he kept his eyes on it and tucked his arms in against his body, terrified of touching anything in case those images burst back into his mind like wildfire. He stopped in front of the handset on its cradle, staring at it, when he blinked he could see his blood on it, but it was pristine and untouched, making his hospital visit the only real proof he’d been beaten half to death, and none of that suggested it had happened right here.

“It’s just a phone Ste…” he assured himself, reaching a shaky hand to it slowly, then moving quicker to snatch it from the cradle and bolt from the room, stopping outside and pressing his back to the wall as he tried not to hyperventilate. “It’s fine,” he whispered, “it’s fine… grow up…” he ordered himself, thumbing in Declan’s number and hitting call as he retreated upstairs, it wasn’t like his mum was in any condition to chase him down over it.

“H’lo?”  Ste was back in his room when Declan finally answered, sounding confused,

“Dec it’s Ste,” he answered meekly,

“Oh it didn’t come up,” Declan grumbled, sounding a bit distant, “sorry mate I fell asleep on the settee,” he yawned,

“Oh right, I’m on the house phone, I’ve lost my mobile,” Ste explained, “Sorry for wakin’ you,” he apologised, “I needed to talk to ya…” he sighed, part of him wanted to tell Declan about his near panic attacks, about the awful flashes of memory he’d experienced, but he couldn’t do that without telling Declan that Terry had battered him and _Brendan_ had made him cover it up.

“You okay?” Declan asked, concern etching his voice, “Terry isn’t giving you shit is he? I know you said he’d freak if he found out you were gay,” he was whispering now, though Ste thought Declan had tried to show his mum that Ste was abused before, so he didn’t know why he was trying to be subtle _now_.

“No… Terry’s _gone_ …” Ste whispered back, like it was scandalous gossip that could get them all in trouble,

“Gone?”

“He gone an’ _left_ me mum, she’s not said why, she’s too upset to talk about it…” he mumbled, “I think it might be cause of what happened…” he said, which was true, but he was about to lie about the specifics when Declan beat him to it,

“Found out you was queer and decided he didn’t want to look after you?” he suggested,

“Probably,”

“Your mam’s probably gonna be pissed at you…” Declan sighed, he had a point, if she thought Ste was the reason Terry left, she’d probably try to kill him too.

“Thanks for the warnin’,” Ste sighed, “I can’t believe he’s _gone_ …”

“You’re not disappointed are ye?” Declan chuckled,

“No, course not,” he was worried that Terry would cause trouble for Brendan wherever he was, and that he had Ste’s phone as proof, but he wasn’t disappointed that Terry was _gone_. “Well… I just wanted to tell you that he’s gone… and I’ve lost me phone… so…” he trailed off,

“Alright, I’ll see if mam’ll let me get you one so we can keep in touch, I’ll tell her it makes you feel safer,” Declan suggested,

“You don’t have to Dec, it’s fine, I’m sure my phone’ll turn up,” Ste shrugged,

“Nah I want to, it’s no problem honest, you’re my best mate, I want you to be able to call us any time, plus if what Amy’s said about you and her baby is true you’re gonna need to be easy to contact if you wanna be there,” Declan chuckled,

“Oh god yeah you’re right,” Ste blanched, he hadn’t even thought of that, too distracted mourning the loss of Brendan and trying to get past the psychological trauma the kitchen held. “I’ll let you go,” he said after, he was worn out in general and from the stress of being back home,

“Alright, night mate, me and Ames are gonna come see you tomorrow, you wanna meet out somewhere or should we knock?”

“I dunno… maybe just… not tomorrow… yeah?” he didn’t think he could face them tomorrow, he wanted to stay home and sleep for a while, and he certainly didn’t want them to see his reaction to the damned _kitchen_.

“Oh… okay, sure mate, give us a ring tomorrow night yeah? I’ll tell you if I’ve convinced mam about the phone thing,” Declan sounded like he was smiling,

“Thanks, night Dec,”

“Night Ste!” Declan hung up soon after and Ste let out a sigh, he felt bad fobbing him off like that, but he’d seen Amy and Declan every day at the hospital since he’d woken up, he was tired.

He hung up soon after and, too apprehensive of the kitchen to return the phone or use it to try and hunt his own down, he left it on his bedside table, stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed, resolving to just avoid his mum as much as possible.

 

The morning came too quickly and Ste was having a fitful sleep, tossing and turning and dreaming about being dragged out of bed and thrown down the stairs, only instead of Terry, it had been _Brendan_. He woke up with a start and wrapped his arms around himself, trembling and haunted by the image of Brendan pinning him to the ground and rubbing his broken face on the tiles, smearing his face in his blood. He gave one last shudder and slid out of bed, grabbing his backpack and unzipping it, rifling through it until he found the weathered bible he’d brought home from the hospital. He read the worn psalm a few times, thinking about how Brendan had shown up to see him, had apparently spent as much time as he possibly could at his side, which was reassuring and calmed him down a lot. Thinking about waking up to Brendan by his bed side reminded him that Brendan wasn’t the only one he’d woken up to, _Walker_ was there too, Walker had been there to make him lie about what happened, to cover up for Brendan. What Ste hadn’t really thought about was _why_ Brendan needed covering for, but he hadn’t known Terry had left until last night,

“Oh god…” Ste let out, realising that Terry _had_ found Brendan, he just didn’t know what had happened when he did. “Oh _god_ ,” he let out again flipping through the book to the front, where the torn page was folded up and tucked away, he pulled it out and snapped the book shut, unfurling the paper and looking at Walkers details, he _had_ to call him, to find out what the hell had happened after he’d passed out.

He rushed to get dressed, tucking the slip of paper into his pocket and then heading for his bedroom door, he paused half way down the stairs though, hearing his mother’s sobbing; he didn’t want to risk her seeing him in case she lost it with him, but he wasn’t sure how to go about that. He slowed his pace, sneaking downstairs and rounding them, heading down the narrow corridor that led outside and into the unkempt, overgrown garden. He kicked about through the long grass, it reached his knees because nobody ever went out there, and opted for climbing over the fence instead of trying to figure out the code on the padlock.

He regretted it instantly, his ribs throbbing in protest as he swung himself over the top of the high fence and dropped onto his feet in the alley, heading to the mouth of it before kicking it up to a wonky, uncomfortable jog. He made his way to the only payphone he could think was nearby, hoping to god he had enough change on him to make the call, since he hadn’t thought to grab some on the way out.

He found it at the edge of the industrial estate he’d lied about being mugged in, a weird twist of coincidence there, and stepped over the broken glass in the hopes that the phone still worked, the little screen was faded but he could still see the clock-face like writing, pulling out his wallet and slotting all of the change he had into the machine, from coppers to pound coins. He fumbled with the slip of paper once the coins in the payphone let out their last death rattle, thumbing that _stupid_ fucking number on the greasy feeling keypad and holding the phone an inch away from his ear, listening to the dial tone and thankful it was somewhat loud so he didn’t have to come into contact with the receiver. The phone rang out three times before it clicked and there was silence, Ste half thought he’d been cut off, but he went out on a limb and spoke,

“it’s Ste, I need to talk to you,” He went to continue but Walker interrupted,

“There’s a Houston build near you, meet me there in twenty minutes,” then he was hung up on, the abruptness of it left him at a loss, but that was probably just because it was _Walker_. He hung up the phone and wiped his hand on his jeans, he knew where the new Houston build was, he’d gone exploring there with Declan and Amy last year when construction had been halted due to a series of investigations into the owners.

With the location in mind, he set off at a brisk pace, he had a slew of questions that needed answering, and with Brendan away in Dublin burying a man he hated, Walker was his best chance of finding out what happened to Terry.

 

The buildings were near derelict now, half built and fenced off with weathered red warnings of condemnation and no trespassing, but it didn’t stop people from going in by the looks of things, there were empty cans strewn about just on the other side of the fencing, clustered up around a charred oil drum.

“You made it,” the voice was too close and Ste about jumped out of his skin, turning quickly and bringing his hands up defensively, balling them into fists, wide eyed and terrified as he came face to face with Walker. Walker shifted his position then, adopting a fighting stance, hands raised but open, making Ste think of some of those kung Fu movies, “go on then, give it your best shot,” he teased with a smirk,

“Shurrup, scared the shit outta me didn’t you?” Ste huffed, standing up straight and folding his arms over his chest.

“Apologies, now, is there a reason you called me?” Walker asked as he righted himself, glancing around casually, though his eyes scanned everything and Ste could tell he was mapping out every detail of their surroundings in case something went awry.

“It’s about what happened to Terry,” he said with a serious face, hoping his expression portrayed that he knew more than he actually did,  
“Ah… well in that case, if you’d like to step into my office,” he stepped towards the fencing, particularly where a chain held two panels closed, though it was pretty loose and Walker lifted it slightly, indicating for Ste to duck under it. Ste did as gestured and Walker followed, overtaking him and proceeding to walk deep into the condemned building,

“Isn’t it dangerous?”

“No, it’s condemned by Houston’s lot so that they have to be the ones dealing with it once the investigations are done,” Walker dismissed his concern easily, leading him through to the only fully walled room in the build, where there was a few upturned bins acting as chairs. “Take a seat,” he added, Ste perching on a bin whilst Walker sat on the other, confident in its ability to support him, “What about Terry?” Walker asked,

“Well… he’s missin’… and Brendan’s left the country… so I _know_ he had something to do with it, and you’re the only other person who knows what happened,” he explained, fidgeting nervously, “Can you tell me what happened? What did Brendan do? Why did Terry leave?” he asked, and Walker looked uncomfortable with the question, exhaling slowly and sagging a little where he sat.

Ste watched him quietly, frowning as he went from uncomfortable to nervous and then slipping into resignation, “He killed him,” Walker said finally, “Brendan _killed_ him…” it was a haunting admission, one that Ste couldn’t accept without questioning it.

“But…” he didn’t understand, Terry was alive, he’d been telling his mum to stop trying to get him back, “Terry… my mum’s been talking to him,”

“Talking? Or texting?” Walker asked, fiddling with his phone, “it’s easy to fake a text, especially when you have a man’s phone, throw in a wallet and leaving a trail of ‘being alive’ around the country is child’s play…” he shrugged, Ste felt like Walker had dealt with this before,

“I don’t understand…” Ste admitted, trying to process what Walker was telling him, Terry hadn’t _left_ , he was _dead_ , _killed_. By _Brendan_. _Brendan had killed Terry_.

“But… why?” he asked, voice shaking, hands shaking, he didn’t want to know, but he _needed_ to. He met Walker’s gaze, and though he seemed like he’d covered up a _lot_ in his time, he looked faraway and harrowed by the recollection, but Walker gave a nervous swallow and told him what happened when he’d shown up at Brendan’s house that morning with news.

 

* * *

 

 

Brendan was livid, Walker wasn’t supposed to be there, he’d not called in advance, he’d just _shown_ up, knocking on Brendan’s door at 6am, shoving a portfolio at him the moment he opened it,  
“We’ve got a problem,” Walker said as he stepped past Brendan,

“Yeah we do, you’re in my house,” Brendan spat, following Walker and tossing the portfolio onto the dining table,  
“Well I was thinking more the fact that Houston is still active through a patsy and is showing an interest in the same venues we are, but I suppose me being here is an issue for some,” he was walking around, searching the ground floor rooms, “he upstairs?”

“Who?” Brendan asked, narrowing his eyes at Walker, distrusting,

“The boyfriend, you know, the one who’s underage,” Brendan snapped then, striding up to Walker and grabbing him, slamming him against the nearest wall,  
“Do not talk about him,” he spat, face inches from Walker’s, close enough to see the way Walker’s eyes watered and his skin reddened,

“Okay, okay,” Walker held his hands up in defeat, “Down to business then?” Walker suggested,

“He’s not underage…” Brendan gritted out, releasing Walker’s collar and smoothing it down,

“I’m sure he’s not,” Walker smiled, “but we’re not talking about him, are we?”

“He’s sixteen…” Brendan uttered, “Jesus Christ get off my back about it will you?” he groaned, rubbing at his face, “I thought you’d shut Houston down for good, said it was a sure fire thing,” Brendan pinched the bridge of his nose before moving to sit at the dining table and opening the portfolio,

“Apparently he’s better at disconnecting from illicit business than you,” Walker shrugged as Brendan read through the papers presented, it didn’t seem as dire as Walker was making it out to be, which had Brendan more concerned than relieved,

“He’s bidding me up?” Brendan frowned, “ _that’s_ the problem? How?”

“It’s a problem because he knows you’re involved with having his business questioned,” Walker pointed out,

“Brilliant… so any expansion on my club running is going to be twice as expensive,” Brendan mused, the phone began ringing behind him but he opted to ignore it, telling Walker to do the same,

“At least,” Walker shrugged, this was becoming a headache.

“Fuck,” Brendan grimaced, “You said after reporting what happened to Vinnie…” he trailed off, uncomfortable talking about that particular event; the phone had cut off but soon began ringing again,

“Apparently he’s working around that, he’s got money in other names it looks like,” he moved to show Brendan certain papers,

“What am I supposed to do about it?” once more the phone cut off, giving them a moment’s peace,

“I’d suggest…” he was interrupted by the ringing of Brendan’s landline for the third time, “Perhaps you should get that,” Brendan looked over, closing the portfolio as if answering the phone would put it on display to the world. He headed for the phone, grabbing it and hitting answer,

“What?”

“ _Now Brenda, is that any way to greet a dying man?”_ Brendan wanted to throw the phone at the furthest wall, but instead he sucked in a breath, this was beyond ridiculous, his day was just getting worse and worse, the last person he needed to talk to right now was his _father_.

“Seamus…” he greeted impassively,

 _“Da will do,_ ” Seamus corrected, but Brendan didn’t answer, listening as Seamus rasping voice trailed off into a slew of coughing,

“You sound worse,”

“ _I’m dyin’ son,”_ Seamus answered, voice weak and wheezing, but it still sent a tremor of fear down Brendan’s spine, _good_ he wanted to say,

“I know, you’ve said,” he glanced over at Walker, satisfied that he’d busied himself making a drink of coffee instead of sitting and watching him like he usually did when Brendan took a call near him.

“ _No Brenda, today, I’m dyin’ today,_ ” he didn’t know _how_ to feel about that, so he just accepted it, trying to ignore the anger he felt every time Seamus ‘slipped up’ on his name,

“That’s a shame,” he muttered,

“ _You don’t sound too concerned, I thought your lot were supposed to be emotional, like little girls,”_ Seamus chuckled at his own joke but paid for it as his lungs gave a pathetic rattle and he began coughing again.

 

Brendan just listened to the sound of his pain, getting a sick sense of satisfaction from it,

“There a reason you called?” Brendan asked, impatient and wanting this call to end or his father to die on the line,

“ _Course, of course,”_ Seamus wheezed, _“A few things I needed to say, I’d rather have said this in person, but your sister said you wouldn’t come again_ , _too upset to see me die_ ,” Brendan rolled his eyes, _“Something I should’ve said a long time ago, back when you left that wife of yours_ ,” His tone was different and Brendan didn’t know what to think, was this some kind of apology? Acceptance? He doubted it, so he kept his expectations low and waited,

“Go on then,” he exhaled, willing the old man to get it off his head so he could get on with his life and imagine the old man suffering as he croaked.

 _“You’re pathetic,_ ” Seamus choked out, “ _A vile little fairy, a nancy boy, and an abandoner, leaving that poor woman and those little kids, you disgust me_ ,” there it was, Seamus Brady confirming everything Brendan already knew the man thought about him, throwing out slurs between coughing fits, forsaking him for ever being born, hissing _Brenda_ at the end of every sentence, “ _I need you to know I’m ashamed of you, you’re a taint on the family name, a disgrace, I should’ve disciplined you more, done **something** to steer you away from that life, you’re not getting a damned thing out of me,”_ he broke off into a slew of coughing, Brendan was just glad to not be subjected to the old man’s prattling any more.

He felt void, detached despite the anger bubbling up within him, and though Seamus said he was leaving Brendan nothing, Brendan knew Cheryl wouldn’t know what to do with the old man’s pub. Brendan, however, had a few ideas, like making Brady’s the most popular gay bar in Dublin; he smirked at the thought, barely listening as he rasped more slurs and insults, but his mobile started ringing, distracting him and giving him an excuse to hang up and ignore this old man’s slew of garbage.

“It’s been lovely chattin’ da, but I have to go,” he dismissed vaguely, hanging up as Seamus tried to shout at him and had a coughing fit, he didn’t need to listen to that garbage though if Walker hadn’t been there, he thought he might’ve shared a few words of his own.

“You’re popular,” Walker noted as Brendan pulled out his phone, not recognising the number,  
“Apparently so…” he muttered, grunting as he answered the phone, genuinely not in the mood for another unexpected call today.

Whoever it was made an incoherent gurgle of a noise before gasping and starting to choke, soon vomiting, “Jesus Christ,” Brendan held the phone away from his ear briefly before returning it, listening to sobbing and recognising the voice, which horrified him. “Steven? Is that you? Steven?!” he barked, “Are you okay? Jesus Christ what happened?” he glanced at Walker, gesturing unsurely, wanting the other man to do something but not sure what he _could_ do, “Steven answer me, what the hell is going on?” he tried to get Ste’s attention, to get him to talk, to ensure him he was okay or at least still conscious, whatever was wrong it sounded bad, and Brendan was all but ready to get Walker to call for an ambulance, finding a pen and paper and writing down Ste’s address.

“Bren…” The b wasn’t quite there but Ste had definitely said his name, tried to at least,

“Steven, Jesus are you alright? Talk to me,” he pleaded, panic coursing through him, it took a few seconds for Ste’s whimper to register as a word _‘run’_ , he heard a thud and began to panic again, but Ste tried to speak again,

“Run…” he didn’t understand the next part, grabbing his keys as he spoke, intending to head out the door,

“What? Steven? Christ I can’t understand you, hang on,” he ordered, but Ste garbled something else and then Brendan was subjected to an awful clattering of plastic on tile all tinny in his ear. “Jesus!” he hissed, “You, come with me,” he ordered Walker, stalking towards the front door, freezing when he saw a car pull up outside, “Shit…” it was Terry, Ste was telling Brendan to run from _Terry_.

 

He froze up, staring through the blind as Terry got out and approached the house, he turned to Walker,

“Back door, I know,” Walker said immediately,

“Here,” he handed Walker the slip of paper with Ste’s address on, “get him to the hospital,” he urged, Walker nodded and backtracked through the house, leaving Brendan to pull the door open. Terry shoved in past him and Brendan tried to keep calm, closing the door and following him through to the main room, quietly praying Walker got there quickly, “there a reason for this visit?” Brendan asked, playing oblivious as he approached the kitchenette, putting an island counter between them as he drummed his fingers on the surface of one,

“Nooo, course not,” Terry drawled sarcastically, turning to Brendan and pulling a battered phone from his pocket, he recognised the diamond dogs logo on the back, it was Ste’s phone, “Found this,” he held it up, “oh and these,” he quickly lit up the screen, swiping across image after image of intimate moments shared between Brendan and Ste. Brendan didn’t flinch though, watching impassively as Terry revealed he knew all about what he and Ste had been up to, “Wonder what the police will think,” he mused, “not only have you been fucking an underage teenager, grooming him into your little fuck toy, but when someone found out about it, me, you beat him to within an inch of his life! You truly are a sick little fucker, aren’t you?” Things slotted into place and Brendan realised that _Terry_ had hurt Ste, he’d hurt him and was here to hurt Brendan too,

“ _You_ did that,” he pointed out,

“Maybe I did, but who are they gonna believe? Me? The concerned step-dad, or _you_? The _child molester_ ,” he wasn’t a child molester, he _wasn’t_. He turned away from Terry then, hands flat on the counter,

“I am _not…_ ” he hissed, “I’m _NOT_ …” he repeated, head hung low, he felt almost like he was swaying as he gritted out his words, “I did not fuck a _child_ ,” he glanced over his shoulder at Terry, seeing the sceptical look on his face, “Steven is _not_ a _child_ … I didn’t molest anyone…” his voice pitched on the word molest, he hated that word, “I am _NOT_ a _fucking_ child molester!” he slammed his fists on the counter as he shouted, vision blurring at the edges, head tilting a fraction as he reached for the knife block, pulling a long, slender slicing knife from it and turning to Terry, “I’m _not_ , he’s old enough, I’ve done nothing wrong,” he said with a slight breathy laugh and a half smile. Terry looked at the knife, then at Brendan’s face,

“You’ve lost it,”

“No… no, no, no…” Brendan tutted, smiling, “I’ve had a bad day is all,” he mused, “yeah that’s it, just a bad day… First my former business partner tries to muscle in on _my_ business, then my old man calls. God the old man… fuck him… he’s dying, wanted to tell me how much he _despised_ me before he croaked… practically a compliment coming from him… being hated by the man you loathe is more of an achievement than a slight…” he uttered, distracted as he toyed with the knife.

“And then there’s _you_.” He sneered, “you come here, you wave around images you have no right to talk about, and you’ve _hurt_ the man I love… and somehow you’ve got it into your head that you’re going to live long enough to blame _me_ for it,” he laughed, “But here’s the thing… you’re just a homophobic piece of shit, not to mention a _stupid_ one…” he sighed, “Weren’t you expecting this to happen? I thought we’d met before,” he smiled, casually sliding the knife through the whetstone grinder on the counter, “I told you, if you ever touched him again… I’d kill you…” he looked up at Terry then, amazed the man was still stood there, face pale, regret etched into his features, “I’m a man of my word… ask anyone…” he urged, gesturing around the room, “I mean… not that you’re going to get the chance…”

“You’re fuckin’ mental,” Terry balked, stepping back, clipping his arm on a dining chair and startling enough to stumble. Brendan took that as his chance and darted at him, shoving him onto the ground and straddling him, pinning him to the ground and holding the knife to his throat so that despite his arms being loose, he couldn’t do a damned thing to defend himself.

“Says the man who _batters_ their kids,”

“I won’t say owt, I swear to god, I’ll tell them I did it, just don’t kill me,” Terry pleaded, a pathetic coward to the end,

“ _Fuck you_ ,” Brendan hissed, the loathing he had gathered throughout his life was coiling within him like a rattle snake.

“Fuck _you_ , you fuckin’ nonce!” his voice cracked as he shouted it at Brendan, spitting in his face despite the fact that it soon dripped back onto him, and Brendan snapped.

 

He had never felt as angry as he did in that moment plunging the knife first into Terry’s chest, then, when he rattled it free from the bone it caught, going for the softer flesh of his belly. Terry was in shock, stunned and almost immobile, initially moving to cover the first wound, then to try and stop further ones from happening with shaky hands. Brendan didn’t allow it though, favouring the knife in one hand and taking advantage of Terry’s shocked state, pinning his wrists with the other, ignoring his gurgled pleas and shifting so he could stab quick and sharp and slightly upwards, piercing the soft, already sliced stomach and up into his ribcage, making a mess of his insides. The blood was hot on his hands and face, sinking into him and marking him deeper than any stain could have, but he didn’t care, too engrossed in the wet sound of metal shedding skin, muscle, and organs, rupturing Terry’s insides and relishing in the way Terry was gaping and choking on blood, eyes wide and horrified.

He was dragged to his senses by a sound, a shudder of blinds being lowered and the room shrouded in partial darkness, he looked up as he withdrew the knife a final time, adjusting his hold on it as he tried to focus through the haze of anger, seeing Walker struggling not to look shell shocked as he continued to shut the blinds and curtains.

Brendan looked down at himself, at the blood, the look of sheer terror permanently etched into Terry’s unfocussed features, “Jesus…” he let out, “I killed him…” he whispered, slowly realising what he had done, realising he was covered in blood, that he’d lost a lifetime of anger, letting his control slip and wane under the stress, and _killed_ someone. “Help me…” he looked to Walker, he was in the kitchenette now, shaking out a bin liner,

“I _am_ helping you,” Walker pointed out, “get up, get out of those clothes _here_ , put them in the bag, the knife too,” he instructed, he looked shaken but still held a massive amount of control, going on autopilot, “leave them with him, go upstairs and clean up, compose yourself, I’ll be back after I’ve dropped your boy off at the hospital,” Brendan was stripping down already, Walker knelt on the floor and checked for a pulse, confirming him as dead as he looked before fishing Terry’s car keys and phone from his pocket and heading for the door, “I’m thinking mugging, hate crime, people know he’s gay right?” he asked, Brendan nodded, “I’ll arrange a scene, Terry will disappear, he won’t be missing, don’t worry,” he assured, “I’ll lock you in, clean yourself up,” he repeated, “and for god’s sake _don’t_ call the police,” he warned and then he was gone, leaving Brendan stood in his stained underwear, red where the blood had soaked through his clothes.

Brendan slipped out of his boxers and shoved them in the bag with the rest of his clothes, watching Terry’s lifeless body the whole time, trying to fathom what he’d done. He shook his head and headed from the room, running upstairs and avoiding touching _anything_ for fear of getting blood on it though he was sure Walker would fix that anyway.

The spray was a massive relief, washing away the blood, the fear, the nerves, he felt all of it slithering down the drain in a crimson swirl, he felt all guilt give way to a sense of calm he’d never felt before, like all his concerns and fears were gone and never coming back. All of it was gone, from the treatment as a child to hurting Steven all too recently, and now this, he’d killed a man, stabbed him a few dozen times, felt the life seep out of him and stain Brendan’s skin, and he didn’t feel a damned thing as the water soaked in and washed that all away. He looked down at the base of the shower, pink with bloody water, streaking as he turned off the spray and watched it stain; he just stood there, letting it dry and mar the pure white tile of the shower, shaking his head to rid himself of his stupor and stepping out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom, sitting on the edge of his bed and losing himself, oblivious to the ringing phone even as his sister left a message telling him to call her back as soon as possible, and then a short while after, when Declan called, telling him Ste had been hurt.

“ _Lynsey called me sayin’ she saw him get rushed into emergency surgery, somethin’s happened da, you’ll meet us there right? It’s **Ste**! Please call me back!”_ he sounded frantic, but it didn’t quite break Brendan’s haze. Walker managed it though, striding into the room and spotting him immediately,

“Get dressed,” he instructed, Brendan went to stand and do exactly that, slow and dazed as he moved around, “Steven is at the hospital, he’s in surgery as we speak,” he reaffirmed what Declan had told him in the message, and Brendan moved quicker, “I wouldn’t rush to his side just yet though,” he warned, “we’ve got a lot to discuss about keeping you out of prison for murder.”


	19. Epilogue

Brendan had two phones, everybody knew it, it was why when he’d accidentally gotten himself into a relationship over a year ago, it had fallen apart in weeks, it didn’t bother Brendan, he barely liked the guy, it was just sex, not that the idiot could see that. Nobody else asked about the second phone, his staff warned the newbies about it, ‘don’t ask about it, he’ll get angry,’ which was true, because it was none of their fucking business why he had one brand new expensive phone, and a second beaten up iPhone with a crack on the screen and a Diamond Dogs case that had seen better days. He only ever got messages from one number on the older phone, that was how he liked it, it was his last fleeting connection with Steven, a connection the kid wasn’t even certain they shared because Brendan never texted back. It didn’t seem to matter to Ste, because two years in, he was still texting that phone, spending money to send photos and updates on his life to a phone he’d “lost” the same time he’d been hospitalised.

He was checking it frequently today, Ste was updating him a mile a minute, he was looking for a flat close to his university and yammering on about how he’d miss his daughter Leah. That had been the first message he’d gotten from Ste, a photo of him holding a new born child and claiming it was his own, he’d immediately wanted to text back and as what the _fuck_ had happened in his brief absence, but resisted, instead having the explanation spottily texted at him later that day, Leah was _Amy’s_ child, and her dad didn’t want to be involved in her life, so Ste had stepped up to the plate eagerly. His confusion had been replaced by fondness and admiration, pleasantly surprised that Ste took on the role of ‘dad’ without so much as a blink by the look of things. His phone vibrated once more and he pulled it out, glancing at the photo on the screen and smiling at the words printed beneath it, an excited looking selfie with ‘PUB TIME!’ on it, Ste was always excited when it came to going to the pub, even at mid-afternoon, he was disrupted from his fond thoughts by a customer though, tucking the phone away and turning to the young lad in a Dublin hoodie that had beckoned him over.

“What can I get you mate?” he asked, leaning on the bar and waiting,

“Mixed fruit Kopparberg, two Carlings and a pint of Guinness could ya?” the lad asked,

“ID?” he’d barely spoken when the lad handed his ID over,

“Way ahead of you,”

“Comin’ up,” he loaned the lad a tray for the drinks and served him quickly, laughing at the way he moved the pint of Guinness away from where he wanted to hold the tray, “problem?”

“ _Tourists_ ,” the lad scrunched his nose up as he spoke,

“Given you’re a Belfast lad I don’t think ye’ve got room to talk,” Brendan smirked, exchanging Euros and glancing briefly around the bar, only seeing a few regulars and a group of what looked like students, soon distracted by Kevin emerging from the back with a delivery man. He signed off on the delivery and delegated it to Kevin, he wasn’t going to help, he was a manager and owner, plus he liked seeing Kevin struggle, since he’d caught the kid talking shit about him to one of their suppliers’ drivers.

He was supervising Kevin as he lugged crates into the bar, his extra phone buzzing relentlessly with updates on Ste’s time in the pub, smiling slightly as he read them, at least until the final one came through.

‘ _there’s a well fit barman here, think I cud pull him?’_ Ste asked, and as always Brendan didn’t respond, but even if he _had_ been one to respond to Ste’s messages, he would have opted out on that one. Ste hadn’t had many boyfriends in their time apart, he’d spent most of his time studying and looking after Leah, and any potential matches disappeared quickly with a late night text of ‘ _it’s not as fun w/out u :C’_ which was always a quiet relief. He didn’t mean to be possessive even though they were clearly no longer together, but part of him was desperate to just break the silence and find him, spill his guts and beg for Ste to forgive him and take him back. He huffed a laugh at the thought, anyone who knew him wouldn’t peg him for the begging type, and he absolutely wasn’t, but for Ste? He was strongly considering it, he shook his head and glanced at the entrance of the pub as a few older lads strutted in, ones he’d not seen before but they made him wary so he kept an eye on them as they were served. _‘I rekon I cud u no. look @ im I’m well in there, love a full beard me xx’_ he waited for the image he knew was coming, ready to burn the face to memory so he could dream about breaking it beyond recognition.

 

He froze up when it finally loaded, brain short circuiting as he tried to process the fact that he was looking at a photo of _his own face_ , meaning Ste was _there_ , in the bar, _watching him_ , that couldn’t be right, why the hell would Steven be _there_ , he was looking for a place to live whilst he went to university.  Brendan was torn from his denial when he noticed Kevin teetering with a stack of crates and rushed over, taking the top two off his hands and placing them on the bar, about to give the kid a piece of his mind about reckless handling of _his_ property when a voice rang out behind him.

“Thought you’d have at least looked around,” he turned on his heel so fast he felt dizzy, eyes landing on a familiar face, one he’d been sent in a half dozen photos already today,

“Steven…” he breathed, he hadn’t said his name in so long that it felt thick and clumsy on his tongue, “ _Steven_ …” he whispered again, this time it felt easier as his tongue remembered the curve of the syllables. He was stricken, stunned that Ste was here, in Dublin, right in front of him with a hint of stubble at his jaw, and _god_ he looked like a _model_ , two years had eased the goofy youthfulness from him and replaced it with a more graceful brand, but when Ste cracked a grin, and let out that ridiculous donkey laugh, nervous this time, it all hit Brendan in a rush.

“Bren…dan?” Kevin interjected, adding the end of Brendan’s name on hastily when he got a sour look,  
“Don’t you have a job to do?” Brendan snapped quickly, Kevin jumping and rushing out back to get the rest of the delivery, hopefully with a bit more care this time. He turned back to Ste then, he didn’t know where to start, not sure if he should throw him out or pull him closer, he settled instead for purring his name like some dark secret, _“Steven…_ ”

“Hiya,” Ste all but sing-songed as he leant on the bar, giving Brendan an almost predatory look,

“What are you doin’ here?” Brendan asked, pushing his hope and optimism aside in favour of suspicion,

“Exactly what I were tellin’ you, looking at flats,” his smile grew innocent and Brendan felt like he was pulling all the stops in order for Brendan to obsess over him internally,

“In _Dublin_?” Brendan frowned,

“Well that’s where Dublin City University is so…” he gave a shrug, “I meant it by the way, you look _well_ fit,” he purred, “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love the tache, but that?” he gave a ridiculous little growl to show what he thought of Brendan’s beard.

“Why thank ye Steven,” Brendan hummed, the suspicion was boring and _God_ he’d missed flirting with Ste, leaning on the bar, their faces close enough that they breathed the same wisp of air, he wanted to reach out and pull him in to a kiss and reacquaint himself with that gorgeous mouth of Ste’s. He restrained himself though, as often as he’d turned customers away for homophobic comments, he wasn’t ready to pull his once questionably aged lover across the bar and plant one on him. Instead he opted to casual flirting as he got Ste a fresh drink of something easier on the palate than Guinness and listened to him prattle on about everything he’d ever texted Brendan about, from his and Amy’s daughter Leah, to Sixth form and getting accepted into DCU.

“I can’t believe them texts actually went somewhere,” Ste sighed, pointing at the pocket Brendan kept _his_ old iPhone in,

“Course they went somewhere Steven,” Brendan chuckled, “your number would have been passed on to someone else if I didn’t have it… even _I_ know that,” he shrugged,

“Yer but they went to _you_ , not some random Sally who were unlucky enough to end up with me old number,” Ste pointed out, though Brendan wouldn’t say Sally would have been unlucky, especially not when Ste was feeling randy after a few drinks, “You never texted owt back though… sometimes I thought maybe I was bein’ stupid, that you din’t have it and didn’t give a shit,” he sighed,

“Course I give a shit…” Brendan uttered, “I don’t think I’d have been able to stay away if I didn’t know you were doin’ okay…” he admitted,

“Well I wish I’d not bothered then,” Ste laughed, reaching to touch Brendan’s hand lightly, a nervous move that said he wasn’t sure if Brendan was okay with them touching.

“I couldn’t have come back, you were too young… I realised that…” he lied, he’d stayed away for other reasons, but Ste didn’t need to know them, he let their fingers touch, turning his hand palm up and brushing his fingertips down to the palm of Ste’s hand.

 

Ste was about to speak again, but a throat cleared nearby and Brendan looked over to see one of the men Brendan had been suspicious of stood at the bar looking impatient even though he’d only been there for a second,

“Are you two done? Can I get some fuckin’ service?” the man asked,

“We’re not done, is there a problem?” Brendan stood up straight then, squaring himself to the man who bristled at the clear aggression.

“Yeah, the staff here are too busy tryin’ it on with punters they already served to serve new ones,” he spat, “If you’re gonna give us lip I think I need to see your manager mate,” Brendan huffed a laugh then,

“I’ll pass the complaint on,” Brendan smiled slowly, “oh… what’s that?” he cocked his head slightly like he’d heard something, “oh right okay… yeah he says you’re barred, get out,” His amused expression sobered as he spoke and the potential customer frowned at him,

“Bren don’t, just serve him yeah,” Ste suggested, but his heart didn’t sound in it and a glance told Brendan more than it ought to.

“I don’t like your tone in _my_ bar, so if you’d leave of your own volition, I won’t have to stop _tryin it on with my punters_ and throw you out myself,” Brendan growled, planting his hands on the bar and leaning in close, tempting this idiot to push him, he’d not had a good fight in a long while.

“Bren, c’mon cool it, it’s not worth it,” Ste tried again, flagging over Kevin with an ‘oi mate’, “Can you serve this bloke? Bren let’s go in back and talk yeah?” he suggested,

“Or we could go to mine and fuck,” he didn’t even look at Ste as he said it, it was almost like a challenge, a taunt to goad the newcomer into taking another step out of line, but he stayed silent, shrinking back and following Kevin to the cash register at the other end of the bar.

Brendan turned back to Ste, seeing that his concern had changed to lust, his eyes were dark with it and he was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, losing himself with Brendan’s crass reflex of a suggestion.

“Steven…” he cocked an eyebrow at him, watching his eyes focus and his tongue dart out to wet his lips,

“How far?” Ste asked, swallowing thickly, his breathing was just about audible now and he was fidgeting, Brendan couldn’t help but grin,

“Across the street,” he leant in close and whispered, breath hot on Ste’s ear.

“I’ll get me coat,” he blurted and turned around, walking briskly to the table with the Northern lad and grabbing his things, uttering a hasty goodbye as Brendan slowly made his way from behind the bar and towards the door. He was surprised and unsure on how to react when a hand accompanied his in his pocket, pulling his hand out and linking their fingers as Ste walked next to him, trying to hurry him towards their destination, picking the fanciest looking building by the looks of things, not that he was _wrong_ exactly, because Brendan _did_ live there.

 

The doors of the elevator had barely opened to reveal Brendan’s penthouse apartment before Ste was against him, shoving him out into the hallway and trying to wrestle him out of the dark blue shirt he was wearing. He crashed their mouths together, fitting against him like a dream, fingers easing beneath the striped blue polo Ste wore, stroking up a smooth, lightly muscled stomach, exploring his body, following familiar trails, learning new dips and grooves as he eased Ste’s arms out of the polo. They broke the kiss for the polo to come off and hit the floor, followed by Brendan’s shirt, Ste working Brendan’s belt whilst Brendan kissed down Ste’s throat and kissed the dip of his chest where there was more hair than before. Ste’s chest vibrated with his laugh and Brendan smiled against his skin, moving to meet his lips again whilst his hands curved against Ste’s ribs and his thumbs brushed both nipples.

“God Bren I’ve missed you,” Ste muttered against his mouth,

“Mmh,” Brendan hummed his agreement, hips snapping forward as Ste whipped his belt from the loops in two strong tugs, his confidence had doubled in their time apart and Brendan loved it, shoving Ste away almost too roughly for him to realise it wasn’t rejection. “Strip, now,” he ordered as Ste regained his footing, watching him catch up with the game and give a sultry look, unfastening his jeans and trying to shove them off quickly without falling over them, leaving his shoes tangled in the cuffs as he stepped out of them and closer to Brendan, relishing in Brendan’s surprise at the lack of underwear. “Were you expectin’ this Steven?” Brendan asked, waiting as Ste sauntered closer and pressed against him,

“Me? _No_ ,” Ste grinned, Brendan felt Ste’s hand cup the front of his trousers, “Were expectin’ _this_ though,” he purred, hand squeezing where it fit near perfect around Brendan’s hard cock.

He hissed a quiet ‘Jesus’ and rolled his shoulders back, letting Ste grope him and closing his eyes, feeling searing hot lips brush against his neck; it was as if they’d never been apart, Ste’s lips traced every sensitive spot, teeth grazing skin in a perfect echo of years ago, and Brendan was itching to dig his fingers in deep and take Ste for all he had.

Instead he finally backed Ste through the bedroom door, pushing against his bare chest to make him step away so he too could strip down, he left his clothes by the door and approached the bed, where Ste was sat in all his naked glory, partially reclined with his legs spread enticingly.

 

Ste didn’t even flinch when Brendan bypassed him and headed for the bedside table, fishing through it for everything they would need, including a string of condoms, it had been too long for them to go bare immediately, as much as he wanted to cream Steven’s asshole and claim it as his personal property. He smirked at the thought, turning to see Ste had pushed himself further onto the bed and was lying back on the pillows, drumming his fingers on the bedding impatiently with his cock stood proud, a bead of precum shimmering at the tip. Brendan tossed the items onto the bedding and quickly followed them, crawling between Ste’s spread legs, marvelling his body, sobering as the lighting of the room seemed to highlight the silvery knots of raised flesh on Ste’s skin, evidence of the thorough beating he’d gotten at Terry’s hands.

He felt anger bubble up inside him, remembering bruised ribs and bloody lips, and the way Ste’s head had been stitched up and swollen from reconstructive surgery, he glanced at Ste’s face, moving to lean over him, bracing an arm on the bed and moving the other hand to Ste’s cheek, brushing his fingers over the deep scar in his brow.

“What’re you doin’?” Ste asked with a chuckle, watching Brendan’s fingers,

“When I last saw you…” he trailed off, he’d been haunted by that image for so long, even when he saw Ste was okay,

“Well I’m better now, even more now I’m here wi’ you,” Ste smiled, warming Brendan and easing his anger away,

“It was my fault…” Brendan admitted, but Ste shushed him,

“No it weren’t,” Ste hummed moving his legs to wrap them around Brendan’s back, “This is though,” he smirked, pushing Brendan’s backside so they were pressed flush against one another, Ste’s prick pressing a hard line between their stomachs, drawing Brendan back to the matter at hand, “an’ me bein’ a hot mess in a bit is gonna be your fault an’ all… _hopefully_ ,” he drew the word out accusingly, Brendan smirking as he took the hint and ground down against Ste before shifting back onto his knees and looking down at his quarry.

 

He bit his lip in approval, sucking in a quiet breath and grinning, resisting rubbing his hands together like some kind of cartoon villain and instead reaching for the lube and uncapping it, squirting a generous pool of the gel onto his fingers and hand. He spread it across his fingers with his other hand, Ste was way ahead of him, lifting a leg and settling it on Brendan’s shoulder, allowing him to eke closer. He pushed his fingers between Ste’s firm cheeks and slid them down to massage against the soft flesh between balls and asshole, his other hand wrapping around Ste’s slightly softened cock to rouse him once more.

“Ah Bren,” Ste gasped, squirming already like he’d not been touched in _months_ , Brendan revelled in it, running his thumb over Ste’s slit, using Ste’s desperate little moans as a cue to push his finger into his tight asshole. Maybe he could have been gentler, but Ste keened and wiggled down against his knuckle, relaxing his body and accepting the intrusion with practiced ease; spurred on, Brendan began gently fucking Ste with his finger whilst he ghosted his other hand up and down Ste’s lube slicked cock, barely touching, barely stimulating, but just enough to drive Ste crazy when twinned with the finger inside him.

“God I’ve missed this sight,” Brendan hummed, working Ste to pieces, stretching him open and pushing another finger in, Ste let out a breathy chuckle, Brendan meeting his gaze and watching him chew his lip to stop from making any more noise, “oh _please_ ,” Brendan drawled sceptically, twisting his fingers as he thrust them once more into Ste’s hot, tight asshole.

“Fuck!” Ste let out, “Ah fuck, Bren,” he hissed through his teeth, trying to hook his leg around Brendan’s neck as if it will do anything to further his pleasure,

“Dirty mouth there Steven, some things never change,” he teased, slowly withdrawing his fingers, slicking his fingertips around the rim of his asshole, barely pushing in, eliciting more curses from Ste’s lips.

 

He loved the sound of Ste’s breathy little moans, his voice growing rougher with each teasing stroke of fingers on slowly loosening muscle,

“Bren please,” Ste pleaded, “Hurry up,” he gasped, and Brendan was only happy to oblige, releasing Ste’s prick and smoothing his precum and lube slicked hand up Ste’s soft yet muscular stomach and to the sparse hair on his chest, pushing three fingers of his other hand deep into Ste’s asshole. Ste let out a hiss of pleasure through his teeth that escalated into a moan as Brendan thrust his fingers quick and deep into him.

“God…” Brendan breathed, watching as Ste writhed and gasped on the sheets, his dick upright and shiny with lube and precum, “Jesus Steven…”

“Bren please,” Ste gasped, trying to push himself up on his elbow, reaching for Brendan but not quite making it as Brendan curled his fingertips and had him falling to his back on the bed. Brendan wanted to torture him further but his dick was rock hard and aching between his legs, desperate to replace his fingers inside the tight wet heat he’d longed for, so he withdrew his fingers at long last, retrieving a condom and unwrapping it quickly to roll down his cock. It was cold on his skin, a stark contrast to the heat emanating from his prick, but god he was ready for this, shifting them both to a more comfortable position and bending Ste near in two as he leant down to kiss him and press his cock into him all at once.

He felt Ste’s breath push into his mouth as he sank into the tight warmth of Ste’s asshole, it felt like coming home, which made him huff a laugh, chasing it with his tongue as he sank further into Ste. He gave himself up entirely with Ste, which felt a lot like falling, cathartic, terrifying, and ultimately damning, but right now he didn’t care, he was willing to give Ste his all because he had _needed_ to for so long.

“Steven…” he hissed through his teeth as their mouths parted for a breath, Ste was open mouthed and his eyes were shadowed by thick lashes as he panted softly up at him, Brendan settled against him, unsurprised at how pliable and accommodating Ste was as his cock was rooted deep in him, he’d always been eager to please and hadn’t changed now. He _was_ surprised when Ste’s hands grasped at his hips, fingers digging into flesh and trying to urge him on and gain purchase all at once,

“C’mon then,” Ste gave a breathy groan as he released Brendan’s flank and leant back into the sheets, getting cheeky and stretching upwards, tucking his hands behind his head and waiting for Brendan to blow him away.

 

Brendan smirked and leant down to bite the stretch of Ste’s neck lightly, feeling it vibrate against his mouth, drawing his hips back slow before pushing back into Ste, tasting the deep groan that rumbled beneath Ste’s skin. His strokes were slow and deliberate at first, thrusting into Ste with care, closing his eyes and panting against Ste’s neck as he did everything in his power to retain control and not just fuck the hell out of him. He bent Ste impossibly but he held no complaints once Brendan set his steady, leisurely pace, fucking slow and deep, rocking into him as he concentrated on Ste’s pleas for more, just wanting to feel him like this for a while before his mind was too fucked.

He pressed a tender kiss to Ste’s throat before pushing himself up onto his knees, one hand resting on Ste’s hip whilst the other ran up the length of a hairy thigh towards Ste’s knee, then down again, bracing part way down and pulling Ste onto his cock. He was slow at first, drawing out that familiar pleasure their reunion brought, but with the pleasure came the memory of fucking Ste over his desk at the club, on the couch, and then back to their first time, where Ste was cocky and self-assured, and yet so painfully virgin. It all felt like so long ago, and Brendan had pent up a lot of feelings about Steven, which his subconscious was bringing to the forefront, pushing his hips faster and giving Ste the dicking he was breathlessly begging for.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Ste hissed through his teeth, untucking his hands from behind his head and curling his fingers into the sheets, clinging for dear life as he was rocked back and forth by Brendan’s thrusting. God he loved that sound, the way Ste’s voice broke into a gasp as he slid almost completely out of him, stuttering a quiet plea for more which Brendan answered by burying himself to the hilt inside him.

 

They moved together with grunts and moans, accompanied by the slapping of skin on skin, their noise growing desperate and hurried, filling the room with the cacophony of sex as they neared bliss. Sweat cooled his skin as he fucked Ste, trying to quell the fire he felt burning beneath his skin and within his core, but it was too much, the familiar friction against his cock as Ste’s muscles shivered with pleasure. Ste had one hand in the sheets and one wrapped around his cock, pace faster than Brendan’s hips, jacking his cock like there was no tomorrow, and Brendan loved the franticness of it; smirking open mouthed as he panted above Ste, he moved one hand to the bedding, balling it up into a fist and bracing himself as he leant over Ste. His other hand came up to Ste’s throat, holding it gently to guide him in for a kiss, rough and severe, interrupting Ste’s cry of bliss as he shot his fucking load all over their stomachs and his own chest.

As Ste clenched and his muscles went into euphoric spasm, Brendan’s lips grew soft against his, encouraging a tenderness between them before he sat back once more, inspecting his handy work and managing to slow his thrusts to a leisurely rhythm. Ste was beautiful like this, and if Brendan was anyone else he’d have thought him otherworldly, but Steven wasn’t otherworldly, he was earthly, a grounding presence for Brendan even two hundred miles away. But he was here now, beneath him and shimmering in sweat and his own cum, impaled on Brendan’s cock and gasping to regain himself, a hot sticky mess smelling of sex and fading aftershave; Brendan bent down to kiss him, pushing deep into him once more, murmuring against his lips,

“I love you Steven…” he grunted, keeping their mouths slotted together as he began to fuck Ste with a familiar intensity, grunting and moaning into his mouth as he grew closer and closer to climax.

He needed this, needed to let go with Ste once more, and Ste was happy to accommodate him, moaning and pleading against his lips even as his cock lay tender and softening between them, “Love you,” he hissed into Ste’s mouth, repeating it louder than he meant to as his hips jerked sporadically through his orgasm, finishing on a groaned ‘Steven’.

 

He held himself above Ste for a long while, just panting against his lips as he leant on his forearms, body shivering with the strain of holding himself up after all that. He felt drained, but not in a _bad_ way, like he’d taken a huge weight and pressure off of his shoulders and finally _eased off_ , he sighed at the thought, kissing Ste’s lips before withdrawing completely and moving aside.

He lay on his back beside Ste, idly removing his condom and dropping it blindly into the general area of the small bin by the bedside table; this was such a bizarre situation to find himself in after so long convincing himself that he would never see Ste again, never share this with him again. He couldn’t help but indulge his sappier side, smiling to himself as he accepted what had just happened, accepted that Ste was going to be present in his life once more. He closed his eyes and thought about holding him, kissing him, fucking deep into Steven, it was amazing, and not only that, it was the first time since Brendan had arrived in Dublin two years ago that he felt like he _belonged_.

He laughed at the thought, catching Ste’s attention and drawing him from his bliss filled haze,

“What’s funny?” he asked, he was toying with the cum on his skin, a slight crease above his lip showing he wasn’t exactly thrilled with the way it was growing tacky against his skin,

“Nothin… bathroom’s that way,” he gestured behind Ste and he perked up,

“Brill,” he beamed as he sat up, it was slow, like he hadn’t quite regained control of his limbs yet, but he stood and stretched, showing off his bare arse, bouncing on his toes briefly before striding towards the bathroom to clean up.

He was half tempted to get up and follow Ste, but didn’t think he had round two in him just yet, so he stayed put, trying to get some perspective on this, to figure out how he and Ste could work now that there weren’t legalities keeping them apart. Ste was going to university soon, and DU was close by, so it wasn’t like he would be too far away, though Brendan didn’t fancy the prospect of student housing, Ste would _definitely_ have to come to _him_ , rather than the other way around. It was a lot to think about and a lot they’d need to discuss, so it didn’t bear thinking about right then, his mind found it easier to drift back to thoughts of Ste, glancing to the bathroom door where he was just out of sight, even when Brendan sat up on his elbows, the mirror blocked by the outward jut of the walk-in shower. He could hear the tap and Ste’s soft humming of some recent pop song that Brendan heard so often playing in shops that he was sick to the back teeth of it, but he didn’t mind it coming from Ste.

 

Ste finally  sauntered out of the bathroom looking cheeky as ever, still naked and still sporting stripes of his own cum, he held a wet cloth in one hand and was looking back over his shoulder, “Your bath is _massive_ ,” he grinned, there were a few too many ‘f’s in the word bath, but it was endearing somehow,

“It’s more of a hot tub,” Brendan offered with a shrug, but he knew what Ste was angling for, he wanted to give it a try, and probably together given the way his face lit up,

“Fancy it?” Ste asked,

“Steven give me a damned minute, I forgot you were like a rabbit,” he sighed, letting his head drop to the pillow,

“Not a _fuck_ Bren, a _bath_ ,” the bed dipped and Ste was soon crawling over him, lying flush and sticky on top of him and propping himself up on his elbows, chin in his hands as he smiled down at Brendan.

“A bath…” he repeated,

“Yer, you know, cause we’re a right mess, plus a nice soak… be nice wouldn’t it?” he smiled, Brendan playing reluctant, letting his hands roam the planes of Ste’s back before settling on his hips,

“Oh I don’t know, I’m pretty comfortable here,” he hummed, moving to grope Ste’s arse,

“What with all this on us?” Ste asked, shifting his body and letting the wet sound of cum and sweat emphasise why a bath was a good idea. Brendan had to cringe, the sound _was_ pretty awful, and so he conceded, playing the old man as Ste sprung off the bed, him following sluggishly behind, more out of comfort than lethargy.

Even though Ste had already seen the tub, he looked in awe as Brendan stepped into the bathroom, it was nothing special to _him_ , but he’d lived there for two years now, so the angular marble bathroom wasn’t as impressive, though he was learning to appreciate the many views of the innocent yet slutty Ste he could see in the two mirrored walls that were cut off by the hot tub and the dark wooden counters the sink was embedded into.

“So lush,” Ste breathed, getting all giddy now that they were in there together, he all but bounced over to the bath, kneeling on the marble step as he turned the taps on, “you got owt bubbly?” he asked,

“Champagne,” Brendan offered with a smirk,

“Shurrup you dope, I mean somethin’ nice for the bath,” he huffed,

“It makes the bubbles itself,” he pointed out, “so, champagne?” he offered again, Ste’s ears turning pink with embarrassment as he nodded. Brendan left the room once more and fetched champagne, uncorking it himself in the kitchen because he daren’t let Ste shoot it off and destroy his bathroom, returning with just the bottle because fuck glasses, they’d share.

He smiled as he saw Ste up to his neck in jetting bubbles, trying to stretch himself across the tub whilst keeping his head above the water,

“Is this meant to be for two?” Ste asked, Brendan met his gaze in the mirror, shrugging and holding the bottle aloft,

“Don’t know, but _this_ is,” he took a swig and headed over, offering Ste a quick drink before ducking down to kiss him, causing him to giggle, “What?” Brendan grunted,

“Bit ‘Spider-man’ innit,”

“Vaguely…” Brendan smirked, kissing Ste once more, a slower, longer gesture,

“Now get _in_ here,” Ste ordered as their lips parted, and while Brendan preferred to be in control in their power play, he was struck with a shiver of excitement at Ste’s tone, happy to oblige, placing the champagne close to a mirrored wall before climbing into the tub.

 

Despite Brendan’s desire for a break, they ended up fooling around over the jets, Ste straddling his lap and riding his cock beneath the water, bathing each other afterwards. Once they had calmed, Ste settled against Brendan’s chest, leaning his head back on Brendan’s shoulder, the two just embracing as they let the jets work their magic.

“Thank you…” Ste sighed, Brendan felt lips brush against his neck and smiled,

“It’s just a bath,” he pointed out, Ste’s thanks couldn’t be for the dicking, as Ste had done all the work, not Brendan,

“Not the bath Bren…” Ste mumbled, kissing Brendan’s neck this time, “for killin’ Terry…” it slipped from his lips as easy as the weather but it made Brendan feel sick to his stomach, nightmares he still hadn’t outlived suddenly flashing behind his eyelids and shaking him to his core.

“I… I didn’t…” he stammered out, unable to incite much confidence in his words, it didn’t matter anyway,

“Walker told me everythin’,” Ste sighed easily, rolling his shoulders and letting out a content groan as he stretched beneath the water.

“Jesus…” he bit out, barely audible, but as the silence drew out, he realised that Ste was anything but judgemental about it, hell he was _thankful_ , genuinely thankful that Brendan had killed a man, “What’s the point in havin’ an accomplice if he tells everyone?” he chuckled nervously, trying to accept what he’d struggled with for the past few years. It wasn’t going to be an easy task, but with Ste’s acceptance it would be something he could actually conceive doing some day,

“Yer well I didn’t give him much choice,” Ste chuckled, wriggling against Brendan’s front, “I knew sommat was up when Terry didn’t come home, you were gone too and it just didn’t sit right, not with Walker showin’ up at the hospital an’ all that,” Brendan nodded as he listened, smiling slightly because he knew Ste was smarter than most gave him credit for, “but I never said owt to anyone, I got it out of Walker an’ kept it to meself, not told Amy or Declan or anyone,” he assured, “I never will,” he whispered and Brendan couldn’t help himself, moving a hand from where it rested on Ste’s stomach, lifting it to turn his head, kissing him, short and sweet, but keeping their foreheads touching.

“I’m… god Steven I don’t know what to say here,” he admitted, “Thank you… I… the last thing I’d ever expect is you to come here… knowing I’m capable of somethin’ like that…” he whispered, eyes closed and lashes wet with more than just bath water, but he hoped Ste couldn’t tell.

“Yeah well… we had to make up di’n’t we?” Ste’s voice was amused, his expression matching it with his tongue poking out between his teeth,

“Oh?” Brendan raised an eyebrow, “And why is that then?” he was expecting it to be about sex, hoping to segue their fraternising back to the bedroom,

“Well if we didn’t I wouldn’t have anywhere to live while I go to Uni would I?”

 


End file.
